Dating sites made me feel even worse about my chances

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F*ck online dating. Sorry I can't contribute anything more constructive on this post, but I agree with a lot of stuff that's already been mentioned here.

If online dating is this frustrating, I wonder how it was back when people only had the option of putting up a classified ad? :/
 
Melsaldi said:
If online dating is this frustrating, I wonder how it was back when people only had the option of putting up a classified ad? :/

Back in the olden days there was more of a taboo re dating sites.When my friend got engaged I was left on the shelf and so I decided to join one. In those days you were sent a paper list with name addresses and phone numbers. I remember sittiin on my hall stairs waiting for the postman as I terrified my parents would find out.
Anyway I started dating a guy who was on my list and I was on his. We were engaged three months later and celebrated over silver wedding anniversary in December last year.
Too this date nobody knows how we met.
 
Tulip23 said:
Melsaldi said:
If online dating is this frustrating, I wonder how it was back when people only had the option of putting up a classified ad? :/

Back in the olden days there was more of a taboo re dating sites.When my friend got engaged I was left on the shelf and so I decided to join one. In those days you were sent a paper list with name addresses and phone numbers. I remember sittiin on my hall stairs waiting for the postman as I terrified my parents would find out.
Anyway I started dating a guy who was on my list and I was on his. We were engaged three months later and celebrated over silver wedding anniversary in December last year.
Too this date nobody knows how we met.

Wow Tulip good for you! No wonder you booted your daughters (sorry gently persuaded them lol) to join a dating site. What a result for the whole family!:D
 
Tulip23 said:
Melsaldi said:
If online dating is this frustrating, I wonder how it was back when people only had the option of putting up a classified ad? :/

Back in the olden days there was more of a taboo re dating sites.When my friend got engaged I was left on the shelf and so I decided to join one. In those days you were sent a paper list with name addresses and phone numbers. I remember sittiin on my hall stairs waiting for the postman as I terrified my parents would find out.
Anyway I started dating a guy who was on my list and I was on his. We were engaged three months later and celebrated over silver wedding anniversary in December last year.
Too this date nobody knows how we met.


back in those days they were for lonely / shy people who had trouble meeting people. Now every Tom, Dick or Harry join them. I hate those adverts, you see some cool, attractive person talking aload of rubbish.
 
blackdot said:
It's not the first time I got someone to delete their account. Sometimes all it takes is me telling them hello.

****, happens to me too. I hate that.


Mike510 said:
I have tried POF and Ok Cupid. Those sites aren't really good at getting to know people, people will just look at your pictures and say oh if there good looking I will speak to them if not I won't.

For me the whole online dating sites just aren't natural. You have a better chance getting to know someone and developing feelings for someone on websites like the one we are using than a website designed for just dating. The general online dating profile is basically this, write a paragraph to brag about yourself, then write a paragraph to write your list of demands, then follow that us with a half a dozen pictures of yourself. What it doesn't do is allow you to communicate with other users and get to know them. You can message users all day long but all there going to do is first look at your photo and if your good looking then they will read through your profile and pick apart things you wrote till they determine your undesirable.

What are we missing out on? How about a proper introduction? Nice to meet you, how are you? How about the flow of conversation, can the two of you continue a conversation? How about figuring out a persons common interests or difference while getting to know them? Or even what their personality is like. Those aren't things you can learn by reading a couple paragraphs and looking at pictures of someone.

Too true.
 
Mike510 said:
I have tried POF and Ok Cupid. Those sites aren't really good at getting to know people, people will just look at your pictures and say oh if there good looking I will speak to them if not I won't.

For me the whole online dating sites just aren't natural. You have a better chance getting to know someone and developing feelings for someone on websites like the one we are using than a website designed for just dating. The general online dating profile is basically this, write a paragraph to brag about yourself, then write a paragraph to write your list of demands, then follow that us with a half a dozen pictures of yourself. What it doesn't do is allow you to communicate with other users and get to know them. You can message users all day long but all there going to do is first look at your photo and if your good looking then they will read through your profile and pick apart things you wrote till they determine your undesirable.

What are we missing out on? How about a proper introduction? Nice to meet you, how are you? How about the flow of conversation, can the two of you continue a conversation? How about figuring out a persons common interests or difference while getting to know them? Or even what their personality is like. Those aren't things you can learn by reading a couple paragraphs and looking at pictures of someone.

I can relate to what you said by my own experiences... Who'd thought someone who's voice I found so "relaxing" can turn out to be, well, a nut, or a possible stalker...!!! It's hard enough having to cut through all the bull-doungs in person, face to face... It's another story doing it through a computer screen... Then there are endless possibilities of just plain "made up honeysuckle"!!!
 

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