Do ladies ever make the first move relationship-wise?

[passage]

Sometimes, but rarely. Two nights ago I had a Norwegian girl ask me for "coffee or something, something that normal people do", and then she proceeded to give me her phone number.

Good for you, have you phoned her yet?

lol, errr, I was on a weekend trip and when I got back home I was still very drunk........So I sent her a text message saying she should shake her sexy little ass more (I was alluding to something we talked about before). No reply, but I don't care cause to be honest I am only looking for sex and I made my intentions clear. I prefer being honest, than lying.

 

[Missing]

Just a couple of days ago I asked my older brother (he's 21) if I should talk to a guy that I know has liked me for 2 years (I've liked him since then too), he told me don't ever do that.He said it's an extreme turn-off to guys and a guy will NEVER say yes to a girl who makes the first move.He's had girls ask him out alot and he rejected all of them,he was the one who asked his girlfriend out first.Well,this came as a surprise to me and if this is true for many guys then it's simply sad,because I KNOW that he likes me but he's just shy and we have no friends in common.We've both felt this strange attraction between us from the first time we locked eyes,it went on forever.It was quite intense.Besides,He's smiled at me once before trying to initiate conversation and I just plain stared back and didn't react at all which was stupid of me but probably hurt his feelings.I still see him often and he just keeps staring at me.So I'm not going to do anything about what could have been ..i don't know..love.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Missing, don't listen to your brother. Not all guys think that. Just because he's like that, doesn't mean all of them are.

 

[Missing]

It still scared me,what if he is like that,then I'll come across as a desperate,pushy thing.Well,I might have done it before he told me that,Now I'll never have the guts to do it with this mental image in my head.Maybe if he likes me enough, he'll make the first move..

 

[VanillaCreme]

If you like him enough, you should tell him. Nothing wrong with saying something first. And next time your brother wants to tell you something, tell him to be quiet. Because what he told you is just senseless.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

It still scared me,what if he is like that,then I'll come across as a desperate,pushy thing.Well,I might have done it before he told me that,Now I'll never have the guts to do it with this mental image in my head.Maybe if he likes me enough, he'll make the first move..

Ignore your brother, he's talking crap

If you like a guy but he's a bit shy around you or very slow to ask you out, say or do something!

Guys love clear, non-confusing signals that a girl likes them. That's a fact.

If we're not interested in a relationship with the girl we will at least be flattered and reply kindly. If you compliment a guy, he will consider you friendly and quite possibly develop a romantic interest for you in future if you continue to attract his attention.

If we are interested in a girl already and she makes it crystal-clear that she returns the fondness, that girl can usually expect to be sharing a passionate kiss very soon

---

What guys like myself absolutely hate is indecision.

I mean when a girl treats me like she fancies me, but doesn't make it obvious (IE. by saying "I really like you" or "Why don't we go out somewhere?" or even just hugging me or something), that means my hands are tied and my emotions are being messed around.

So if you like a guy, make sure he knows what is going on, because otherwise you'll find everyone involved gets frustrated and upset.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Guys can be just as indecisive and confusing. And hugging doesn't really mean anything. But I see your point.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Guys can be just as indecisive and confusing. And hugging doesn't really mean anything. But I see your point.

Oh, I totally agree. I'm not clear with my "signals" either sometimes of course. I've quietly liked some girls for years and they've never had any idea :shy:

But maybe I should have phrased it better. I just meant like clear affectionate physical contact or something, not "friendly" hugs.

 

[Missing]

Guys can be just as indecisive and confusing. And hugging doesn't really mean anything. But I see your point.

Oh, I totally agree. I'm not clear with my "signals" either sometimes of course. I've quietly liked some girls for years and they've never had any idea :shy:

This is weird,so if you've liked them for years why not show your feelings or make any move?Does it mean you're not that interested?

Also VanillaCreme,yeah,I don't see anything wrong with a girl showing how she feels in a decent manner.But I guess my brother is too old fashioned.He really disappointed me.Lol.

Thing is,I just have this very strong feeling,almost sure that he has the same feelings for me,even if not as intense,but there's something there.I've seen it in his eyes.And I mean,this thing has been going on for more than 2 years,from first glance and till now,it's really childish considering we're both 18 now and still single just flirting with each other at school.Eye contact.This is our last year and we both know we'll never see each other again...it makes me sad cause I've never loved anyone else or even liked them for that matter.Let alone a total stranger who's somehow become more familiar than my own family.Really don't know what are we.I'm not even a romantic person (rly ) but I have those weird uncontrollable feelings for him.

But I always wonder why ME?why me? Yes,I'm not bad,I get called pretty often and we had this strange chemistry, but the guy's gorgeous even straight guys have crushes on him lol, knows so many pretty girls(has them on facebook) and in my opinion can get any girl he wants.But why is he single still? and I never see him with girls at all in real life.

It sucks to fall in love... And I'm really sorry for going off topic and ranting too much about personal stuff.

So if he doesn't like me,why is he acting like he does all the time and following me around.And if he does like me,why doesn't he do something about it ?

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

This is weird,so if you've liked them for years why not show your feelings or make any move? Does it mean you're not that interested?

Oh no, quite the contrary. For some ladies, I've just been telling myself day after day that I'll ask them out or tell them I really like them...I've just never had the romantic courage to do so

It's like how I see some girls and just think they're extremely pretty, but I can't ever bring myself to tell them. To ask a girl out as a guy takes a large amount of confidence that she likes you and enjoys your company. You have to take the lead and do it all yourself. Unfortunately I'm quiet, shy and care a lot about other people's feelings (too much, really), so I find it very difficult to do that.

Plus with the way my self-esteem is, I feel like asking a girl out would just be pointlessly confusing her life rather than making her happy. So guys are complicated creatures, or at least I am hopelessly so :shy:

So if he doesn't like me,why is he acting like he does all the time and following me around.And if he does like me,why doesn't he do something about it ?

Perhaps he's similar to me? I get on well with girls (as friends) and enjoy their company. Quite often they flirt with me a bit and possibly find me attractive...yet I've always been single. And I'm convinced I'm not worth a girl's time romantically.

If he has low confidence, low self-esteem or is just not experienced with girls, it's possible that he finds the idea of asking a girl out really difficult to get to grips with. He likely has no idea that he is "gorgeous".

You need to understand that by asking a girl out, a guy puts his self-worth and emotions on the line, which men do not do often. He gives you the chance to make him happy or reject him.

That's a big deal to some guys and they need a lot of pushing to do it.

 

[ShybutHi]

Everyone is different... The chance I would ask a girl out are incredibly low because I am a very shy, introverted guy. Also, having no relationship experience makes the whole thing very unnerving.

Some guy's just find it really hard to ask girls out, some are terrible at reading sign's of attraction, some have bad past relationship's and some fear rejection... There could be multiple reason's.

If you genuinely feel you want more with a person than just being friends then by all means go for it if you can pluck up the courage, whatever the gender.



@Missing
Guy's like it if a girl shows real interest and/or ask's them out. Generally people do find it nice to be desired by another human being. If a girl was to ever ask me out I would find it incredibly touching.

 

[TheMaul]

I gave up asking girls seriously. The last time I did was a drunken sarcastic remark that was taken seriously and I ended up in bed with a girl. Yeah I don't know how it happened either. But nothing happened. We literally SLEPT together.
They always decline because I'm just not their type, and I don't know where girls my type are of if they even exist.
But I've only ever been approached two times in my life, the first time I didn't really pick up on it, or I did subconsciously but something turned me off. Wait I remember, she was just annoying as fresia...and one of those bragging sorts that always needed to be the best at everything. Like if you said you wrote a novel, then she wrote forty of them. And if you wrote a song she was in twelve bands. Yeah. So that's why that never happened. As for the second one...that was a recent thing, girl friend zoned me after a few romantic evenings together...saying she was in love with someone else.
That's kinda evil in my book. I'd never mess with someone's head like that, but hell what do I know. I only know how to hurt myself really.

 

[Missing]

This is weird,so if you've liked them for years why not show your feelings or make any move? Does it mean you're not that interested?

Oh no, quite the contrary. For some ladies, I've just been telling myself day after day that I'll ask them out or tell them I really like them...I've just never had the romantic courage to do so

So if he doesn't like me,why is he acting like he does all the time and following me around.And if he does like me,why doesn't he do something about it ?

If he has low confidence, low self-esteem or is just not experienced with girls, it's possible that he finds the idea of asking a girl out really difficult to get to grips with. He likely has no idea that he is "gorgeous".

You need to understand that by asking a girl out, a guy puts his self-worth and emotions on the line, which men do not do often. He gives you the chance to make him happy or reject him.

That's a big deal to some guys and they need a lot of pushing to do it.

Yeah I get it .It's not easy,It takes guts. But seriously I don't bite and I'm also insecure about myself but he probably doesn't know that. Anyway,I'll forget about this for now.Whatever happens..i'll let you know. Thanks for the advice btw.I wish you luck and try not to be so shy ...You could be missing out on a girl that really loves you..

 

[VanillaCreme]

...You could be missing out on a girl that really loves you..

And that's why I always tell people to give it a shot. You never know.

 

[Missing]

...You could be missing out on a girl that really loves you..

And that's why I always tell people to give it a shot. You never know.

Yes,and even though we all know that,we still sometimes prefer not to risk it.We are frustrating

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Every time I find a girl who's attractive, I always talk myself out of it. I feel like I don't deserve her, or she wouldn't want me, anyway.

Much like TheMaul, I don't know how to go about asking out girls. It's like an uncharted territory for me.

 

[TheMaul]

There seems to be some weird code language I'm supposed to just "know" that I don't. There are girls I like, but that I know either can't or won't be able to form any bond with me, since there is an acre of lost communication between those who have lived through a larger amount of life's dirt and those who think failed tests at school is a really low point in their life.
And please, Muse - call me Maul. When I'm tipsy, I become a sort of wise guru and am able to communicate much better all the clever things I think of. The trouble is finding the people to listen, though when they do...its wonderful. To share and have a really nice deep ******* conversation with people.

 

[ShybutHi]

I am much like you two guys in this area.

@TheMaul & LeaningIntoTheMuse

I understand what you say and also feel like I am unbondable. Feel as if I dont deserve her and that she would not want me anyway.
Although for me it has got to the stage now where I do not even think about asking girls out at all... I mean that literally.

I think I do not have a choice in the matter. The only possibility of getting into a relationship is if a girl becomes a friend somehow and then gain's a romantic interest for me or someone who just straight out asks me out. I would never assume that I could be anything more than friends.

I expect some would find that totally preposterous. I also dont know if I could bare rejection... That would only affirm my philosophy that women simply do not, in any way, shape or form, find me romantically attractive and that I do not deserve them anyway.

 

[Frito Bandito]

There are three reasons why a female will make the first move. One: She senses that your genes are of such value that she can not pass up the opportunity for you to give her children. Two: She is only interested in sex, is emotionally shutdown, and looking to shag like animals. Three: She is insecure and immature and feels as though she will never get a chance, so she is desperate. I have never had a female make a move on me without it being for one of those three reasons.

 

[EveWasFramed]

There are three reasons why a female will make the first move. One: She senses that your genes are of such value that she can not pass up the opportunity for you to give her children. Two: She is only interested in sex, is emotionally shutdown, and looking to shag like animals. Three: She is insecure and immature and feels as though she will never get a chance, so she is desperate. I have never had a female make a move on me without it being for one of those three reasons.

Would it do me any good at all to say this statement may apply to females who have made the first move on YOU, but doesn't apply to ALL females? :club: