Do parties ever make you feel bad?

[TheSolitaryMan]

Well, from the few that I've been to yes, and no. Usually I just fail at socializing in groups, so if you're like me, I'd suggest trying to meet someone (preferably of the sex that you're interested in) and get to know them better in a one on one environment. At least thats what sort of worked for me. Otherwise I sit there drinking listening to other people talk, and go home thinking it was a waste, but I least I went out

PS. I dont mean to sound like a stalker, but from what I've read, you seem a lot like me solitaryman

Yeah, in fact so similar that could have been written by me myself

I'm much more of a listener in general. I like talking, but I prefer listening intently first. A party is not a good place to do that it would seem :\

Hah, Princess, I wish I could be like that. Of course it eases the atmosphere is like that. Sadly I'm just not really that kind of guy

 

[Nolife Princess]

Hah, Princess, I wish I could be like that. Of course it eases the atmosphere is like that. Sadly I'm just not really that kind of guy
[/quote]

Sure you can, if I can do it, anyone can (

practice makes perfect.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Sure you can, if I can do it, anyone can (

practice makes perfect.

I don't know. You just seem naturally bubbly and flirty!

I'm kind of the opposite...quiet and reserved unless something ridiculously spectacular is happening :\

 

[Nolife Princess]

Sure you can, if I can do it, anyone can (

practice makes perfect.

I don't know. You just seem naturally bubbly and flirty!

I'm kind of the opposite...quiet and reserved unless something ridiculously spectacular is happening :\

Well, lets get at it, I'll help you, lets go, happy happy joy joy... yip yip! hehe naa, ya just have to feel it, seize the moment.. do something grand, make their jaws drop.. all while holding your head up high, it keeps them wanting more... they like to see you do it, because themselves are to afraid to look like a idiot... but I don't mind, I keep myself entertained.


me flirty?

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Sure you can, if I can do it, anyone can (

practice makes perfect.

I don't know. You just seem naturally bubbly and flirty!

I'm kind of the opposite...quiet and reserved unless something ridiculously spectacular is happening :\

Well, lets get at it, I'll help you, lets go, happy happy joy joy... yip yip! hehe naa, ya just have to feel it, seize the moment.. do something grand, make their jaws drop.. all while holding your head up high, it keeps them wanting more... they like to see you do it, because themselves are to afraid to look like a idiot... but I don't mind, I keep myself entertained.

me flirty?

I think it's the "seizing the moment" I fail at the most. There are always 101 worries in my mind about absolutely everything.

Plus from experience every single time I ignore those worries and go ahead and do something it normally makes me feel really bad in the end through some freakish bad luck

 

[Nolife Princess]

Sure you can, if I can do it, anyone can (

practice makes perfect.

I don't know. You just seem naturally bubbly and flirty!

I'm kind of the opposite...quiet and reserved unless something ridiculously spectacular is happening :\

Well, lets get at it, I'll help you, lets go, happy happy joy joy... yip yip! hehe naa, ya just have to feel it, seize the moment.. do something grand, make their jaws drop.. all while holding your head up high, it keeps them wanting more... they like to see you do it, because themselves are to afraid to look like a idiot... but I don't mind, I keep myself entertained.

me flirty?

I think it's the "seizing the moment" I fail at the most. There are always 101 worries in my mind about absolutely everything.

Plus from experience every single time I ignore those worries and go ahead and do something it normally makes me feel really bad in the end through some freakish bad luck

aww hun, you just need a little help... come hang out with me, and I will turn you out! and by the time I am done with you, you will be totally owning the parties.

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

aww hun, you just need a little help... come hang out with me, and I will turn you out! and by the time I am done with you, you will be totally owning the parties.

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

Lol

All I need is love. Sigh.

 

[Fvantom]

you guys seem to be looking at parties the wrong way, they're not for connecting with people and becoming close, they're more about meeting new people, seeing old friends, and having a good time to get your mind off whatever might be bothering you at the time.

 

[blackdot]

Parties are a nightmare for me. I don't drink so I always feel left out to start with. If there is loud music then I can't be in the room because I have very good hearing and have no interest in losing it. Most conversations at parties turn into discussions of who people are dating or sleeping with. Once again something I know nothing about and something that depresses me.

I usually hope that the host has a pet so i can play with the pet and avoid the people. *laughs*

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Parties are a nightmare for me. I don't drink so I always feel left out to start with. If there is loud music then I can't be in the room because I have very good hearing and have no interest in losing it. Most conversations at parties turn into discussions of who people are dating or sleeping with. Once again something I know nothing about and something that depresses me.

I usually hope that the host has a pet so i can play with the pet and avoid the people. *laughs*

Yeah, that's pretty much my experience thus far too! Eerily similar.

I have one duff ear and one perfect ear, so that feeling with loud music is even more intense with me - I have no desire to be totally deaf! Plus it destroys any attempt at chit-chat.

I went to another party recently and it was better. It was still the same in the end though - me sat on a sofa awkwardly watching a girl bouncing around in someone's lap cracking bawdy jokes and this guy boasting about the time he and his girl made drunken love in a closet

They were all my friends though and they treated me okay, so it wasn't too bad in the end

But I think I may just try going to more events like this so I can invent some confidence for myself.

 

[Ak5]

I've been to one and going to another as well!

It's a medium-sized room, usually rented in a locale

-Lots of sofas
-TV (Football usually - Yes, the "real" football)
-Alcohol
-Sometimes music is playing
-Ping pong and pool tables

I didn't talk much...

 

[Syber Tiger]

i never went to one so i wont know :/

 

[Lonely in BC]

I've often been able to find someone who is as uncomfortable as I am at a party, find a quiet corner or sit outside, and have a really good chat.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

The whole disparity between my interests and my age was hugely apparent today.

I went to a party with my parents (or rather my mother, my Dad was ill).

It was a pretty "sophisticated" type of thing with the neighbours. Fancy food (first time I've eaten quail eggs, lol), polite chat, quiet music, that sort of thing.

So about ten minutes in my Mum was away talking to someone else and I started feeling kind of awkward on my own. I was the only "young" person there, surrounded by people who were 40+ and that I'd never met.

Then I decided to start talking, and oh my goodness! I think I must be a 50-year old inside or something.

I had everyone laughing loudly, responding to me with interest and asking me more questions. In the end I spent three hours there talking to all these older people I'd never met before and I got a few really friendly handshakes when I left.

I even felt pretty tipsy, having downed quite a quantity of wine with my conversation flowing as it did o_0

In the end I had to take the lead and say we had to leave to check on my Dad, the hosts were still plying me with wine and seemed happy with me sticking around!

Contrast that with the feeling I get at parties with people my age, where the topics of conversation tend to grate with me until I go silent and I don't even recognise the crap that passes as pop music...

I don't really get it. Perhaps I'm just stuffy or something? I just walk into a room of older people and feel like some kind of celebrity, whereas your typical "who's sleeping with who?" conversation at the local 20-something party just makes me feel really isolated, especially with a bit of Kesha as ambience

 

[Lost Drifter]

Good for you brother, it’s nice to hear you coming out of your shell a little more, you made me proud

I’m with you on older people, I don’t get to go to parties but at work I find it easier to talk with older colleagues since more relaxed for the most part. Men around my own age are obsessed with becoming ‘alpha’ males and will do anything to out dick each other in social groups, likewise most women feel the need to compete for the centre of attention and can turn horrendous in a desperate bid to get that. I’m generalising of course but that nonsense seems more common with the younger crowd.

What dance moves did you break out then?

 

[sylvestris lybica]

I think parties are boring, which makes me feel like an outsider moreso than usual because i don't find fun "fun" in the way that other people do. I don't really enjoy those things. However in your case it seems like letting go and having a good time is exactly what you want to do. Start thinking about your fun time before anyone elses. Dont worry if you entertain anyone else or make good conversation. Just relax, no goals no pressure, and ignore the favt that people are watching you. Dance alone and eventually someone will want to join you. Act tense and try to be included and people will avoid you.

 

[Fitz]

It's all about that first step. Once you're in, you're usually ok. I can shoot the honeysuckle all night once I've warmed up a little. But it's shallow, empty chatter. Just talking bollocks all night long. It's just that ice-breaker, that's the hardest to overcome. Girls on the other hand, are bloody impossible to approach. I just can't do it. I'm scared shitless of going up to a girl. I wish, for once, that a girl would approach me. I'd be the happiest guy in the world.

Last one I went to, these girls, really good-looking girls, danced all night long. They were hypnotising, just swaying all night. It was like a lapdance or something. The lads on the couch, just drunkenly transfixed. It was surreal, nice and all to watch, but after a while, the reality of the situation hit me. I snapped out of my hypnotised state, I became suddenly self-aware. Three or four horny drunk guys sitting on a couch, watching three or four drunk (probably horny judging by the sensual dancing in front of said horny guys) girls. I glanced at the lads sitting beside me. Jaws hanging open, eyes glued to the girls. I was in a strange, dream-like state all night. I was nicely drunk, that perfect point between tipsy and hammered. Body completely at ease, slumped on the couch. My mind in a completely relaxed place. Eventually the girls finished their dancing, and slumped to the floor holding eachother as they drifted off to sleep. Weird, weird night, not bad exactly, just strange.

Parties always end the same anyway though. As the OP said, walking home that night in the cold air, or waking up on a couch, hungover, perhaps still a little drunk, cotton mouth, knowing it all meant nothing, absolutely nothing. Look around you, bodies strewn all over the floor, bottles, cans, cigarette butts burnt into the carpet..

 

[Winterlong]

I don't know why, but going to parties lately just makes me feel really down afterwards. Just get this really depressed feeling once I've left.

It's like I'm putting on this facade when I'm talking to people. No idea if it works, they seem pleased enough with how I conduct myself.

But then it's always the same when I leave - I feel like I don't know anyone new, I was rather dull when conversing, I still don't know anyone's phone number (even the people I've known for years) and it's just me walking home alone in the cold evening air, knowing that it was all pretty pointless.

I just know how the party will begin, go on and end before I even go there.

Above everything I just long to dance and have fun or whatever, but I never feel like I relax. I always look terrible in photos taken of me at parties, I think it's because I just never feel chilled out at all.

I don't even know why I'm typing this, I can't coherently explain the feeling. It's like I'm glad I went, but get this profound sadness about how it all went, regardless of whether I had a "good time" or not :\

lol. I know exactly how you feel. it's the same with me. always going to parties hoping something will be diferent this time. sometimes I meet people. sometimes dont. but when I leave I have this sensation that everything was a waste of time.
the thing is that I'm expecting something. I don't know what is it to be honest.
I feel like Neo looking for The answer.

 

[Taylormeister]

Parties give me the worse feeling in the world. For somebody with social anxiety a party is the last place you want to be. It feels like as the crowd gets bigger walls are closing in around me. I keep drinking but getting more paranoid as I drink. I leave at the end of the night a drunken mess, and feeling like I just came back from a war.

 

[blackdot]

If the party is laid back consisting of groups of people just talking and eating then it's not bad. If the party consists of loud music then I'm stuck on the outside looking in.

The worst is when you have a large group of people all wanting to talk. You know those instances where people are talking at one volume but since everyone is at the same volume they can't hear other people so they speak louder which causes everyone else to speak louder and it gets recursive. If I am in a room where there are multiple groups all around doing that, my brain overloads and I get extremely dizzy and just scream. I'm the type that listens to everyone else's conversation. It's a self defense mechanism I learned as a kid to protect myself from people planning on hurting me. Freaks people out at work how I can hear conversations multiple rows away. But if there are too many conversations and they are all at the same volume they mix together and my brain can't get a lock on any of the wavelengths and it explodes and shuts down.
Really scary when it happens.