Do people have the choice to love someone, or is it some mysterious force

[jjam]

like... The Force?

I say we choose to love!

 

[fox]

I do not think you have choice to love some person. The thought to decide, "I think I am going to love that person!" and then do so, it seems completely ridiculous to me. But... if you do end up to love some person, of course there is choice to whether or not you show it...

 

[tangerinedream]

Your question can be taken two ways.

I think that whether or not we allow ourselves to open up and really love anyone at all is a choice, just as closing ourselves off from those around us is a choice.

IMO, whom we feel drawn to is totally beyond our control. I do not believe that we can manufacture feelings of love for someone just because we want to. We either feel something for someone or we do not. I think that love can grow from a friendship, but if it happens, it happens not because we will it into being, but because it develops of its own accord.

 

[Okiedokes]

^ Nicely said.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Your question can be taken two ways.

I think that whether or not we allow ourselves to open up and really love anyone at all is a choice, just as closing ourselves off from those around us is a choice.

IMO, whom we feel drawn to is totally beyond our control. I do not believe that we can manufacture feelings of love for someone just because we want to. We either feel something for someone or we do not. I think that love can grow from a friendship, but if it happens, it happens not because we will it into being, but because it develops of its own accord.

Yes very well put.

 

[Mikey193]

Your question can be taken two ways.

I think that whether or not we allow ourselves to open up and really love anyone at all is a choice, just as closing ourselves off from those around us is a choice.

IMO, whom we feel drawn to is totally beyond our control. I do not believe that we can manufacture feelings of love for someone just because we want to. We either feel something for someone or we do not. I think that love can grow from a friendship, but if it happens, it happens not because we will it into being, but because it develops of its own accord.

well put I agree

 

[Ak5]

Your question can be taken two ways.

I think that whether or not we allow ourselves to open up and really love anyone at all is a choice, just as closing ourselves off from those around us is a choice.

IMO, whom we feel drawn to is totally beyond our control. I do not believe that we can manufacture feelings of love for someone just because we want to. We either feel something for someone or we do not. I think that love can grow from a friendship, but if it happens, it happens not because we will it into being, but because it develops of its own accord.

Ditto

 

[firebird85]

Seems like relationships today are formed based on "what you have to offer", where in the past relationships started more naturally and all flaws and differences were accepted and looked past. People were friends and expanded on that while nothing else mattered. Not anymore though. Today it's all streamlined.

If you only go for someone because you are drawn to what they have (job, fancy car, house) you don't love them you love what they have.

You love what they have. Not them as a person. End of story.

 

[Hoffy]

******* A dude, that's not what love is about. Who cares about all that stuff? Not me. As long as the person is a good person, that's all that matters. All that stuff you mention can't buy or get you love. Love is about the person, not what they have.

 

[firebird85]

There's enough people on this planet that no man or woman should have to be alone if they don't want to. But we create our own demise. If women actually thought like that there probably wouldn't be so many lonely guys out there, but alas.

 

[tangerinedream]

^ Nicely said.

Yes very well put.

well put I agree

Ditto

Thanks, guys!

Seems like relationships today are formed based on "what you have to offer", where in the past relationships started more naturally and all flaws and differences were accepted and looked past. People were friends and expanded on that while nothing else mattered. Not anymore though. Today it's all streamlined.

If you only go for someone because you are drawn to what they have (job, fancy car, house) you don't love them you love what they have.

You love what they have. Not them as a person. End of story.

I disagree that all relationships today are like this.

I believe that it is a sign of insecurity or self-absorption to look at another person merely in terms of what he or she has to offer you tangibly, like a car or social status. IMO, this view is a result of immaturity, and I mean emotional immaturity, which is not necessarily tied to chronological age. Sadly, some people never outgrow this mindset, whether they are 24 or 64.

So yes indeed, there are people out there in relationships that are based solely on self-interest. I hesitate to call that love.

******* A dude, that's not what love is about. Who cares about all that stuff? Not me. As long as the person is a good person, that's all that matters. All that stuff you mention can't buy or get you love. Love is about the person, not what they have.

^^ Agreed.

 

[Hoffy]

There's enough people on this planet that no man or woman should have to be alone if they don't want to. But we create our own demise. If women actually thought like that there probably wouldn't be so many lonely guys out there, but alas.

Yes I am just posting all my post to practice my gold digging bullshitting ways. Geez >.>

 

[Ak5]

Yes I am just posting all my post to practice my gold digging bullshitting ways. Geez >.>

Oh oh oh! Gold dig me!

 

[Sci-Fi]

Can we broaden this term of love for a minute? I don't think it can be gender defined. Really love is when you truly care about another person, "lover", family, friend. It's when you care about their good days and their bad days. When you hand them a tissue to wipe their tears with and jump up and down in times of joy. When you pick them up when they are down, and they do the same in turn for you. A person you can count on whenever, wherever, however. To me that is love, whether it's female or male. If it grows into something more it grows into something more. We shouldn't be so concerned with out libido's.

 

[tangerinedream]

Can we broaden this term of love for a minute? I don't think it can be gender defined. Really love is when you truly care about another person, "lover", family, friend.

Yes.

It's when you care about their good days and their bad days. When you hand them a tissue to wipe their tears with and jump up and down in times of joy.

Yes and yes.

When you pick them up when they are down, and they do the same in turn for you. A person you can count on whenever, wherever, however. To me that is love, whether it's female or male. If it grows into something more it grows into something more. We shouldn't be so concerned with out libido's.

Yes, yes, yes and yes.

And yes again.

 

[Sci-Fi]

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I think you don't choose to love someone, it just happens.

 

[LoneKiller]

My feelings on this subject are best described in this video.

[YOUTUBE]pwoAAjaxzmk&ob=av2e[/YOUTUBE]

 

[blackdot]

I find it easy to love someone else. It's just I repel people so they never feel love for me. It's a 1-way street.

I keep trying to figure out the whole process but unfortunately it's all magic so there is no process to figure out.

 

[MadMonkè]

What if someone falls in love not with a person, but with money?

what would that look like.?
I think its entirely possible that it is the attraction main for most women.

But psychologically, it makes practical sense. money is a representation of a person's ability to produce value in society and thus provide stability for survival. Women are strong enough these days that they are entitled to strive for their own abilities to succeed. many women I come across still look for money and success... and are really quite open about it. some dont, however. they CHOOSE to be more simple. more happy. what I like to be.

but attractions only opens the door. and also, money does not mix very well with relationships.