Do You Feel That People Don't Take Your Suffering Seriously?

[floffyschneeman]

hmm, I don't know if I can contribute much to this topic. I know a lot of people are suffering greatly in situations they didn't choose and no one should ever take lightly of that... but from what I have noticed over the years of seeing people suffering, those who don't think of their problems too greatly and dwell on them expecting people to take them seriously are often the people who get over the hardest of struggles.

 

[Lost Drifter]

most people (not on this board) think my situation is humorous as most people don't understand how someone can be lonely.

^ This ^

Lonely kids are considered just to be going through a phase and that everything will get better once they grow up. Lonely adults are considered to be a lost cause and an urban legend. Everyone has a zany family, cool friends, chatty neighbours and fun co-workers right? RIGHT?

Oh how I wish!

 

[hopsfox]

(((hugs))) I agree with Floffy but I also find being taken seriously is the way to healing if you indeed don't think people take your lonelyness seriously

 

[Lonesome Crow]

If i take life's too seriously, I'll probably start slitting my own
wrist too. Im not saying it has been fill with bombshells and
mind twist, gut wrenching stuff. It has.

Im actULLY amazed my head is screw on straight or survived
half of the honeysuckle I lived through....

This forum is about as wacked out as any support groups ive attended.
Just like my sponsor say...other people are too much cuaght up in their
own crap. So just say what you gatta say.

Then again there's those fucken moments when i really need someone to talk to. I'll go through my phone list of people that i can call anytime
I need help..Errrr yeah, sure... after making 15 calls and getting messages or no answers..which will irratate the living honeysuckle out of me
even more.
Then they come up with stupid honeysuckle like....will maybe that's when you're
suppose to talk to god or your HP...
Which is rediculous because i feel god aint listening or dont give a fresia
either....
Then I get a brain fart moment of not giving a honeysuckle about anything anymore. A peace comes over me. Ive let go of all of it just the same. Ultimately it still comes back to me...depending on me. Think for myself. I'll either get over the honeysuckle or i dont. I'll either do something about my life or i wont. I'll have to answer to me first and formost.

On top of that...as Im wirting this...
My sister keeps reminding me dad only has 1-2 weeks to live.
My relationship with father or lack there of is like the fucken crazy gule of all my dysfucktional, co dependency,
alcoholism and relationship problem. Everything ties in. My love and relationship with Renae.
The countless times Reane would cry her heart out and beg my father. The attemps she made to reach out to
my family when she was pregnant with Kimi. His grandaughter that he could really gives a rats ass for.
I hate my father...yet I love him. Dont really know now to process it. Everything comes up.
I fear for Kimi's life. i fear for Renae's life. As ive always had from 22 yrs ago.Thats my fucken problem.

And Im told...I cant fix anyone no matter what i do. And Ive tried my heart out to make it right.
So no one can fix me nor solve my delima either. its all fucken retarded.

Dont know if i should go talk to my father on his death bed before he dies or just let it be...
The man hates me just the same...if i show up it'll just put him under just the same.

 

[Jack _]

No one knows that I suffer from depression and anxiety, at least not anyone outside of this forum. I feel like if I were to tell my family and people close to me, they'd acknowledge it but in no way would they take it very seriously. When I first started developing anxiety, after I left school, my own mother called me "embarrassing" and weird because I was unable to answer the front door at the height of my anxiety. I'd always make excuses to avoid answering the phone and such, which seems ridiculous, but that's how I was (and still am to an extent).

 

[Trent]

i feel that i have spent the better part of my life surrounded by emotional vampires. and a big part of that 'vampirism' is the tendency to minimize you in any and every way possible, including discounting any suffering that you've endured.

if any of you could be a fly on the wall at a holiday dinner with my extended family, you would get the sense that i am some privileged youngest-child that has had the world handed to me on a silver plate.

you would never hear any mention of my years of drug addiction, homelessness, past of violence and crime, years of depression and suicidal thoughts and 'almost' actions, the bullying i endured as a youngster, and the years of brutal physical and mental abuse i suffered at the hands of my father and older brother.

you would also hear no mention of the way that i was able to stop drug abuse on my own with no rehab, help, or even sympathy. the way that i 'went back' and completed my high school education (after being kicked out of six high schools), or the way i worked and put myself through college and responsibly raise(d) a daughter as a single parent, having dedicated my life to her in every way possible for over thirteen years now.

yes, i know what it feels like to be minimized.

 

[SophiaGrace]

People minimize in all sorts of ways every single day. It's shocking what you hear once you open your ears.

"Stop being a drama queen."

"it doesn't hurt that bad."

etc.

...really?

People just don't want to take the time to actually care about people. OR, they don't have the capacity to do so. OR, they're just so drained by the people around them that don't care that they have lost the ability to care for others.

I really wish there were more compassion in the world. That people knew how to listen and respond to others in ways that did not minimize and invalidate and cut them down in a thousand small ways, but instead encouraged and supported.

That's not the world though.

That's how I hope I treat others though.

That's the premise behind my signature.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

People dont even know....
I raised Kelsie my step duaghter. I love her as my own.
She reached out to me now that she's older and wondering herself WTF????
The honeysuckle I had to go through just to get her out of a bad situations.
I spented every freaken dime just to get her out to Ca. So that she may start a new life.
My family totally rejected her. Didnt even invite us for thanks giving.
My mother totally denile that Kelsie is her grand duaghter...
Yet when Kelsie was a child my mother would love Kelsie as her grand daughter,
play with her, visit her..ect.
It's totally rediculous...Then Im questioned why Im fucken angery and sicken by it all.
Kelsie felt so unwanted and loved...she just wanted to get the hell out of CA.
I couldnt make her stay i couldnt force her to stay.
She went back to the streets of Chicago...
She's call me while walking in a snow strom shiver...crying "daddy, dadddy please!!!"
so she could take another step. All I could do was be there for her on the phone
just so she can hear my vioce. i nevered wanted to buy her the plans tickets
back to IL....letting her go like thst...tore me a new ******* and than some.

While i was in TX..going through all the stuff with Renae after she slitted her wrist.
Keslie calls me crying her heart out becuase life is all messed up and she cant take it
anymore....

And of course I have Kimi...my own flesh and blood. Thats all she wants from me.
To be loved. To be my little girl...my youngest. And whoever I was there for...i wasnt
there for her...and I needed to make up for all of it. Of course i couldnt tell her..that
her mother slit her fucken wrist. The countless times Ive taken her mother to the ER.
The countless times Kimi cries for her mother, No matter how angery she feels...She
had always needed and wanted her mother's love. The many many nights Reane would
cry for Kimi just the same.
Kimi dosnt want to hear about her mother, Kelsie, my problems or whom ever the fresia.
Whatever the fresia my issues are...I best get over it.
Im her father...her daddy. i belong to her. I owe her everything for bring her into
this life. The chioces and decisions I made messed her up and also made her who
she is today. She holds me accountiable for all of it.

Dysfucntional, drama, trauma and insanity on over drive.

Keeping my head above the water....

Then i people telling me...Im a little bit unstable.
O fucken really?????

If i mention about Jordan...my eldest.
Very angery at me. All her life she felt angery at someone...
She knew something wasnt right and couldnt put her finger on it.
She donst wanna hear about Kelsie or her mother (Michelle).
I messed that honeysuckle up for not understanding her. i dare not make the same mistake with Kimi.
i fought for her with every penny I had.....even my freeedom.
She dosnt wanna hear abou any of it...Just wanted to know and love her father.

but hey.....they're all super models like thier mothers, FFS.

 

[Badjedidude]

I FIND...

...that I don't take other people's suffering seriously when they insist upon continually reminding me that they are suffering.

After all...

"Cowards die a thousand deaths. The valiant taste of death but once."
--William Shakespeare

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I FIND...

...that I don't take other people's suffering seriously when they insist upon continually reminding me that they are suffering.

After all...

"Cowards die a thousand deaths. The valiant taste of death but once."
--William Shakespeare

i find your technique works in certain situations but not all.
" life is not without pains but suffering is optional"
Suffering is relieving the same pains over and over again.
It can become habitual or sometimes even addictive.
A mental loop that will simply just triggers negative emotions.
Dwelling on the past or whatever. The past is the past...even
if it's 30 sec ago.

Then again with TPDS...you'll simply get triggers or flashbacks from many sources. In direct sources. For a me to get truamatized...it would
take a lot. Sometimes I'll simply get flaskbacks for no perticular
reason and for me to try to figure out what triggered it..is narly imposible. It would be anything that my mind associate with..at the piont of the source or actual events that happened..Such as a cup
that was sitting on the counter or sound of a dog barking in the backgrounds.....
While Ive reserch to obtain copping skills that alot of people havnt.
it still donst minimized what happened or down play it.

Pretain to my daughter Jordan. I seldom talk or mention about her to anyone. People can really give a rats ass about her oneway or the other.
Poeple dont really know how much I love her and miss her all my life.
Its that pain Im always going to carry with me until it gets resolved.
Until the day that i can hold her in my arms again as i did when she
was a child. Until that day comes...there's nothing to get over.
It's not the samething as getting over a lover....
I dont talk about her much..becuase it hurts really really bad.
I can lose myself in the pains so I try to minmize that. Yet, I love
her as much as i love Kimi.

Thats why getting totally shited faced and fucken women...nevered worked...worked.
It's just a banaide job. I can run from my pains but I cant hind from it forever.
So i gatta pray for god to come into my heart oneday at a time...becuase that too is a bandaide job or daily reprieve.
Then i gatta go into a great discussion or debate wheather god exist or not wiht people...which is another bandaide job to keep
me from thinking about Jordan and Kimi..lol

Or i can trun them over to the care of god or put them in god's hands.
Which is another way of writting them off. Makes me feel better about it if I believe they're in god's hands.
Letting go oneway or another....so I dont worry about them and relieve my pains and sufferings just the same.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I FIND...

...that I don't take other people's suffering seriously when they insist upon continually reminding me that they are suffering.

After all...

"Cowards die a thousand deaths. The valiant taste of death but once."
--William Shakespeare

So, you don't want to deal with it.

The end.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Yeah, I feel like they can't understand what it is like to have never had a romantic relationship, or to have anxiety.

And then when I try to explain it, I get the same platitudes: oh, you'll find someone someday...

Bullshit!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Yeah, I feel like they can't understand what it is like to have never had a romantic relationship, or to have anxiety.

And then when I try to explain it, I get the same platitudes: oh, you'll find someone someday...

Bullshit!

well...when I was 14 I didnt have a GF or knew what it was to have
a romantic relationship.
I guess some people cant understand how it feels like to get asked
out or hitted on by women...good looking women too.
Most people are at awe..Its like "wow dude, how in the hell did you
manage to be with her? what the hell dose she sees in you anywho?"
So Im like..."some honeysuckle like that...Im on a highway to hell"lmao

Im too picky to just find someone someday.
I want the daughter of the devil himself.
Makes life more interesting. it's serious business...man
Every now and then i find myself on my knees praying.."god fucken help me"

No one would ever take me seriously If I talk like that....

 

[Romantic_Flower]

No one cares about other people problems. They just care about their own... that sucks

 

[Callie]

Yeah, I feel like they can't understand what it is like to have never had a romantic relationship, or to have anxiety.

And then when I try to explain it, I get the same platitudes: oh, you'll find someone someday...

Bullshit!

How exactly do you know it's bullshit...can you see into the future?

No one cares about other people problems. They just care about their own... that sucks

Not true...

 

[Sci-Fi]

Those who don't know how to deal with it or really don't care, don't take it seriously. But it's not always about understanding, it's about having compassion. Sometimes caring comes from unexpected places. Last week I was feeling kind of down, and when my part timer came in he picked up on it right away. He's worked for me just over two years now and can tell when something is up, especially when I'm quiet. Anyone who's worked with me knows when I'm quiet there is something bothering me. LOL! I'm very talkative with people I'm comfortable around. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked if everything is alright and if I needed to talk about anything. He wouldn't understand it but it was just the show of caring that meant more. Sometimes people will be like "oh here we go again, so in so is in another of their moods" cause they don't get it. Then there are others who might think that but have enough compassion not to say it, because they get that there is more to it than just being in a mood.

 

[Gutted]

So far, I think that everyone on here has taken most issues that people have quite seriously. But in real life, it is the utter opposite with me. I don't tell anyone about my problems in real life. I have done in the past and all I have got in return are bemused looks which then turn into changed subjects, laughing, as if I wasn't serious and people talking to me like they understand when they barely know the meaning of a real problem. I don't mind though. I can carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. There's a thin line between being stronger then ever and being broken. But it's all good