do you think good advice sometimes just goes through one ear and out the other

[Taylormeister]

I am glad people are here to help each other out, after all that is what this is for. I just noticed a lot of people giving great advice in questions, and it seems like the person asking the question sometimes only responds to the most negative answer out of all of them. Do you think good advice here just passes people by? I get the impression they are in such a negative mindset that they can only process a negative reply. Not everyone, im just seeing a lot of it in questions.

 

[Mouse]

Only if you don't listen. Listening is an art.

 

[Lost Drifter]

No offence to you my friend but I’m not touching this one. :rolleyes2:

 

[Bones]

[D]o you think good advice sometimes just goes through one ear and out the other[?]

For some, yes.

 

[blackdot]

Sometimes the same advise is given over and over so it becomes annoying to hear it. Especially when that advise is wrong to begin with.
It's especially when it's the normal cliche canned comments that are just said by people just so they can say they gave advise that was just ignored.

 

[Arsenic Queen]

Sometimes the same advise is given over and over so it becomes annoying to hear it. Especially when that advise is wrong to begin with.
It's especially when it's the normal cliche canned comments that are just said by people just so they can say they gave advise that was just ignored.

Agreed. Like when you go through a seriously low situation and people give you cliche canned advice and expect you to magically get better or at least stop whining. If the same "advice" has to get said over and over, it's clear that it didn't help and the problem's still whole.

That being said, sometimes SOUND advice gets ignored even if you do listen. Certain things are clouded to a person's mind by emotions, and as long as said emotions aren't sorted out, and dealt with, there's little chance that the person will wake up from the emotional confusion and be able to see the light or flaws in said advice.

It's the emotional blindness you get sometimes, when you're either in great happiness or great pain. Then someone tries to warn you about some part of it, and you can't deal with their warning because it conflicts with how you feel.

And you don't want to let exterior sources decide for you in case it's against what you could want (which sometimes is still unclear at the moment you get said advice).

 

[blackdot]

Also the advise sometimes leaves out all the important steps that are needed to get to that point. Sometimes you really have to spell things out for someone. Being extremely vague can be of no help to someone if they are already down and out and stressed out.

 

[Arsenic Queen]

Also the advise sometimes leaves out all the important steps that are needed to get to that point. Sometimes you really have to spell things out for someone. Being extremely vague can be of no help to someone if they are already down and out and stressed out.

Totally true. In fact when people do that they add frustration to your pain, because

1) they talk like it's all easy, this can bring an unnecessary feeling of shame
2) you're obviously stuck and need more information
3) they'll make time to treat you like an annoyance for seeking help, but got no time to actually be of help
4) or they don't know how, and anyway it's not their problem after all, but they WILL insist on how simple it should be. the day it happens to them though, you better help out

(Or, if you want to be honest and fair to yourself, you better remember that they refused to truly help you and serve them the same sauce.)

 

[Harkat]

I have only had one person respond to me in all my posts here.
Either what is said has been ignored or it is still being digested.

 

[blackdot]

Sorry. I ate a lot so it's still digesting.

 

[Harkat]

*shakes fist*




*cries*

xD
all good
take your time

 

[SophiaGrace]

Also the advise sometimes leaves out all the important steps that are needed to get to that point. Sometimes you really have to spell things out for someone. Being extremely vague can be of no help to someone if they are already down and out and stressed out.

Totally true. In fact when people do that they add frustration to your pain, because

1) they talk like it's all easy, this can bring an unnecessary feeling of shame
2) you're obviously stuck and need more information
3) they'll make time to treat you like an annoyance for seeking help, but got no time to actually be of help
4) or they don't know how, and anyway it's not their problem after all, but they WILL insist on how simple it should be. the day it happens to them though, you better help out

(Or, if you want to be honest and fair to yourself, you better remember that they refused to truly help you and serve them the same sauce.)

lol I had a psychologist be like this to me once when i couldn't solve my problem. "Just do it!" was her literal response to me.

I didn't want to work with her at all after that.

 

[Lost Drifter]

I have only had one person respond to me in all my posts here.
Either what is said has been ignored or it is still being digested.

Make that two

 

[Harkat]

I have only had one person respond to me in all my posts here.
Either what is said has been ignored or it is still being digested.

Make that two

Greatly appreciated =]

 

[Arsenic Queen]

lol I had a psychologist be like this to me once when i couldn't solve my problem. "Just do it!" was her literal response to me.

I didn't want to work with her at all after that.

What a stupid response from someone who's been educated to treat people in complicated situations. They KNOW the person is blinded by emotions or by their situation. They're supposed to be specialists of depressions and other types of problems keeping people running around in circles.

I have only had one person respond to me in all my posts here.
Either what is said has been ignored or it is still being digested.

I could suggest to try making other people part of your posts sometimes.

 

[Harkat]

lol I had a psychologist be like this to me once when i couldn't solve my problem. "Just do it!" was her literal response to me.

I didn't want to work with her at all after that.

What a stupid response from someone who's been educated to treat people in complicated situations. They KNOW the person is blinded by emotions or by their situation. They're supposed to be specialists of depressions and other types of problems keeping people running around in circles.

The Western world has a distinct lack in understanding of anything mental or psychological. Often the response is: here take these anti-depressant drugs.
There has been a lot more research done on Cannabis than most of these anti-depressants.

I have only had one person respond to me in all my posts here.
Either what is said has been ignored or it is still being digested.

I could suggest to try making other people part of your posts sometimes.

I'll keep this in mind.
Thank you

 

[Arsenic Queen]

The Western world has a distinct lack in understanding of anything mental or psychological. Often the response is: here take these anti-depressant drugs.
There has been a lot more research done on Cannabis than most of these anti-depressants.

Yup. Cannabis is fun. Depression is "just a bunch of annoying whiners".

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Easier said than done.
Do as I say but not as I do.

Its simple really.
Given the options of what I NEED
to do and what I want to, I RATHER
DO WHATEVER THE fresia I WANNA
DO....

The advice given are general knowledge
Or shooting from the hips.

In support groups settings such as
12 step program.
GIVING ADVICE IS NOT RECOMMENDED.
ITS A PROGRAM OF SUGGESTIONS...
WHY IS THAT?
Errr..you're dealing with sick, hard headed,
Egotistic, narcistic, self absorbing, irresponsible,
Selfish, self pity, self serving, self center people.ms

---

Oki Dokie...
As miserable as it May be
ItS REALLY REALLY FUCKEN COMFORTABLE.

PLUS..If i give fucken advice all day, I don't
have to work on my own problems.haha
If everyone fucken behave, think and act
Like i want them to...ILL BE HAPPY. LOL

---

Plus theres all the payoff factor...
Example...
Playing sick.
The payoffs are other people taking care of me
and my honeysuckle.lol
So if i get well or play well, ill lose that.
Plus ill have to do more honeysuckle.Stuff i let piled up.
ERRRRR...fresia that, im fucken lazy boys and girls.
Mmmmmmmm....its all RENAE' s fault.lmao
She broke my heart and really really messed me
Up. SAVE ME PLEASE!!!!

---

Come on man....i feel really bad.
Hurts really bad man.
I ma go check the fresia out.
GIVE SOME fresia IT ALL PILLS...MAN.
shes suck a fucken *****.
I cant live without my *****.
Dont talk bad about my *****, only i can.lmao
YOU ALL JUST DON'T FUCKEN UNDERSTAND.hash yr
What?????......

---

I DESERVE BETTRR AND CAN DO BETTER???
O rly??
Show me your titays....
Let me determine if your titays ate better than hers.....
Like thought.....all talk, no actions.lmao

---

Payoffs.....
You must also give people an alternative
payoff.

Also at the sometime, we all want
That instent gradifications...

I WANT IT ALL AND I WANT IT NOW.
JUST GIVE IT TO ME..
HIT ME BABES

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Plus the alternative payoffs
Must be of value or of better to a person.

I ma go to heaven if i take
An alternative route?
Juses fucken christ.lmao
None of this....none of that
I ma walk a narrow path and
Be a fucken stiff...lord have mercy
On me.

What? ( whats very valuable to me)
I might have a loving relationship
With Renae and Kimi?
What must i do to have this ?
Stop drinking and play nice...
Reach out to kimi and love her unconditionally.
Be loving and understanding with Renae.

These are the answers i already know.
Its a matter of my motives.
Im eithet motivated to get

---

Of my ass or do something different
About my life...

I DONT LACK MOTIVATIONS.
ITS IN THE VALUES OF THE PAYOFF.

---

Then you get into especifics area
And give me tools and know how
To obtain the results I want.

You must also offer me tool
That i can work with.
What will work for me and fit me.
IF YOU GIVE ME A PAIR OF SHOE
THAT DOSNT FIT ME TO SOLVE
MY PROBLEMS..ITLL CAUSE MORE
MOTHER FUCKEN PAINS AND INJURIES
YOU MUST REALLY SLOW DOWN
AND LISTEN TO ME.WHEN I SAY
THE NEW MOTHER FUCKEN SHOES
IM WEARING THAT YOU DEEM RIGHT
FOR ME IS CAUSING ME MORE PAINS
CUASE IT DOSNT FIX ME. I DON'T
WALK RIGHT, TALK RIGHT , OR ACT RIGHT
WHEN IM IN PAINS.
ONE SIDE DONT FIT ALL
BUT ITS COMMON SENSE
SO WHY IN THE fresia DID I LISTEN
TO YOUR GOD **** ADVICE
THAT AINT WORKING SO GOOD
FOR ME????

PAINS !!!!!
LIVE AND LEARN, LIVE AND LEARN..
fresia YOUR ADVICE.LMAO

---

You gatta learn how hold them
Know when to fold them
Know when to walk away

You never count your money
When youre sitting at the table.
There enough time for counting
After the dealing is done.

 

[Felix]

Lonesome, nice to se you back (maybe becose of my own absence...), looks like you are even more criptic now lol

Yes, some advice sometimes escapes us... to all of us.

That's why you need lots of it to get some improving. That's why most people need years of therapy to overcome a problem...