Does it seem women only want decent guys when they are divorced and have kids?

[phant0m]

Seems to me women only want decent dudes when they have had 1 or 2 divorces, are 35+, and have 2 or more kids. I know I'm generalizing, but I'd say many are like that.

 

[jamiee]

i dunno :/ never thought about it. Now that i think about it, guys who are older seem to be more reliable/loyal/decent than the younger generations... but not always ^^ not all women want guy's like that, maybe its just a coincidence that they're all 35 + and nice guys at the same time?

 

[Naleena]

Seems to me women only want decent dudes when they have had 1 or 2 divorces, are 35+, and have 2 or more kids. I know I'm generalizing, but I'd say many are like that.

Is that statement a mere subjective observation, something that is frustrating you or a little of both? Not sure what you are trying to get across here.

 

[Robin]

The major part of people aren't exactly mature these days. Age isn't the important thing. Maturity is.
Men are just as unreliable at 35+ as 35- in my opinion though, lol.

 

[samba101]

Nah not really, don't really know never considered going out with a divorced guy with kids. Though I had a partner for 10 years who had a daughter. Kind of silly of me really I guess it's no different then guys who have left a relationship.

 

[jjam]

Nah not really, don't really know never considered going out with a divorced guy with kids. Though I had a partner for 10 years who had a daughter. Kind of silly of me really I guess it's no different then guys who have left a relationship.

I think you may have misinterpreted the original post.
It basically points back to the whole "women not wanting decent/good men like they claim to" or "good guys finish last" thing. Here we have an idea that women have to first make "mistakes" with a guy or more before they develop a real understanding, appreciation, and genuine desire of a decent guy.

I don't know, op. I think a lot of decent guys just lack balls. They finish last because they throw themselves to the back of the line for one reason or another.

 

[lingo]

Seems to me women only want decent dudes when they have had 1 or 2 divorces, are 35+, and have 2 or more kids. I know I'm generalizing, but I'd say many are like that.

hmm. . .
From what I know and what I see, girls do want decent guys for serious relationship. (I repeat --> serious relationship)
They want someone who is reliable, mature, caring, honest and optimistic.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm not really understand what they mean.... Does the guy have the divorce with kids, and is 35+... Or do they mean that women only seem to want a decent guy when the woman is 35+ and has had a divorce and have kids?

Either way, I don't think any of that should matter. But I guess it's personal preference. Just because you've gone through a divorce, are 35+ or have kids, doesn't mean you aren't decent either. But once again, I'm not really sure what phant0m means.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Seems to me women only want decent dudes when they have had 1 or 2 divorces, are 35+, and have 2 or more kids. I know I'm generalizing, but I'd say many are like that.

I'm not quite sure how you meant that...
Are you saying that women who are 35+ with two divorces and two or more children only want "decent dudes" or are you saying that women 35+ only want decent dudes with two or more children and divorces?
If you meant it the first way...well, duh, of course they want "decent" men. Who wouldn't want someone "decent" for a partner, no matter their number of children or divorces?
As for the second, it makes little sense to me, and considering I'm over 35, I would know.
In the end it doesn't really matter how you meant it though, because you're using a pretty wide brush stroke when painting women over 35. I think it sounds like maybe you've run into a few who have displayed certain behaviors, and you base your opinions on those few women. I also read another of your posts, where you generalized Americans, as judgemental.
This is a public forum. Please try not to generalize overly much - people tend to find it annoying or offensive. Having said that, I do understand that we base our views on our life experiences, so maybe you have a reason to think the way you do. But, at least have an open mind and realize that you can't judge the entire population, on the actions of a few.
Welcome to the forum, by the way.

 

[Sanal]

Seems to me women only want decent dudes when they have had 1 or 2 divorces, are 35+, and have 2 or more kids. I know I'm generalizing, but I'd say many are like that.

I'm not quite sure how you meant that...
Are you saying that women who are 35+ with two divorces and two or more children only want "decent dudes" or are you saying that women 35+ only want decent dudes with two or more children and divorces?
If you meant it the first way...well, duh, of course they want "decent" men. Who wouldn't want someone "decent" for a partner, no matter their number of children or divorces?
As for the second, it makes little sense to me, and considering I'm over 35, I would know.
In the end it doesn't really matter how you meant it though, because you're using a pretty wide brush stroke when painting women over 35. I think it sounds like maybe you've run into a few who have displayed certain behaviors, and you base your opinions on those few women. I also read another of your posts, where you generalized Americans, as judgemental.
This is a public forum. Please try not to generalize overly much - people tend to find it annoying or offensive. Having said that, I do understand that we base our views on our life experiences, so maybe you have a reason to think the way you do. But, at least have an open mind and realize that you can't judge the entire population, on the actions of a few.
Welcome to the forum, by the way.

I think he meant

"women doesnot want decent dudes when they are in their twenties and only want bad boys at the time. Once they are 35 and maybe 2 kids and divorced from the bad boy, they want a decent man. Like till they realize that bad boys cant really give them a good family, they dont need a decent guy. Comes to the old say 'nice guys finish last'"

Just explaining his words as what it looked to me and am not gonna share my views coz my knowledge in this matter is very limited

 

[WHY]

I think we always want decent men...it's just that the guy we once thought was decent...we realize after marriage that he isn't. But whether you marry once when young or 10 times...throughout your life time...each time you marry you will think you found the decent guy.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

yeah...too general. Decent in what ?

decent looking ?
decent in bed ?
decent bank account ?
decent lover ?
decent friend ?
decent communication skills?
decent humor ?
decent spelling and grammer ?.lol
decent smelling or hygene ? lmao
decent size penis ?
decent car ?
decent artistic abilities?
decent emotional intelligents
decent math skills?
decent driving skills?
decent maturity ?
decent behaviors ?

Every Rose has it's thorns.

You mean ? You're asking if some women are looking for a a family guy to take care of
her and her children. Maybe finacailly..maybe not.
Maybe understanding and mature enough to be able to love her and her children..knowing
her children is not yours ?. In other words...extra responsibilities. Of course.
Obviouisly she not going to want another baby( new guy) to raise..lmao
Definitely not a guy that'll beat her or her kids...
Obviously better than the last guy....

 

[WHY]

LOL...best thing would be all of the above

 

[phant0m]

I think he meant

"women doesnot want decent dudes when they are in their twenties and only want bad boys at the time. Once they are 35 and maybe 2 kids and divorced from the bad boy, they want a decent man. Like till they realize that bad boys cant really give them a good family, they dont need a decent guy. Comes to the old say 'nice guys finish last'"

yeah thats what I meant, sorry about the post, i was frustrated last night, feel free to ignore it if it pisses you off :/

 

[EveWasFramed]

I think he meant

"women doesnot want decent dudes when they are in their twenties and only want bad boys at the time. Once they are 35 and maybe 2 kids and divorced from the bad boy, they want a decent man. Like till they realize that bad boys cant really give them a good family, they dont need a decent guy.

yeah thats what I meant, sorry about the post, i was frustrated last night, feel free to ignore it if it pisses you off :/

That's called learning from your mistakes, man. lmao
Sometimes, you have to date/marry a few losers, to know what a quality man is when you see one, lol.

I'm sorry that you are frustrated, Phant0m.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I think he meant

"women doesnot want decent dudes when they are in their twenties and only want bad boys at the time. Once they are 35 and maybe 2 kids and divorced from the bad boy, they want a decent man. Like till they realize that bad boys cant really give them a good family, they dont need a decent guy.

yeah thats what I meant, sorry about the post, i was frustrated last night, feel free to ignore it if it pisses you off :/

That's called learning from your mistakes, man. lmao
Sometimes, you have to date/marry a few losers, to know what a quality man is when you see one, lol.

I'm sorry that you are frustrated, Phant0m.

mmm...in other words...If I'm a guy, knowing what i know.
having gone through what I've gone through. Loving a couple of
deviorced women..raised and love thier childred as if they're my own.
At the end of it all, I don't hear from the kids and she dropped me
like hot patato....My decent bank account went to zero....
And i almost had a heart attack...

If so...I'll learn from my mistakes.
Am I in the position to teach some young women with firm beautiful
bodies a few mistakes here and there and everywhere?
No extra luggage....mmm I mean responsibilities...We can run around the house naked and be as loud as we want, anytime.lol
I want qualities in quanities
If I'm going to have a heart attack...it might as will be with a young women making her mistakes on top of me...lmao
That sounds decent to me. Oki doki...I'll date bunch of young women from now on...I'm a slow learner...lmao

 

[Gothmother]

Seems to me women only want decent dudes when they have had 1 or 2 divorces, are 35+, and have 2 or more kids. I know I'm generalizing, but I'd say many are like that.

Being one of the 35+ divorced with 3 kids kinda of person, I wasnt looking for a relashionship when i met my man, but we got married and have now been together 10 years with many ups and downs but its been totaly worth it.
Maybe the reason for it is they can offer stability and security especialy where children are concerned and often men of that age(40+) have finished messing about with sleeping around and want to settle down too.
I dont think alot of people in their early 20s are totaly ready for the huge commitment that is "untill death do part" which is why 2nd time round its much better!

 

[Drake]

Recently I've had bad luck with this as well...except with 20-25 year old girls, it certainly does seem that way to me. I think the reason is because they have faced the reality they have to grow up and be responsible now, while most girls at my age still want to go out and have fun. Of course it's a gross generalization, but I'd say most defintely the majority of girls who want nice guys have kids.

 

[MountainTop]

Ill probably get flamed for this, but YES.

chicks don't know what good is. It's like, they SAY they want an affectionate guy, a caring guy, then they go get a BIKER ALCOHOLIC boyfriend.... if they REALLY wanted a caring affectionate guy they'd go for the guy they say is 'only a real good friend' you know the kinda nerdy but 'sweet' guy they always ignore. Then they marry said alcoholic biker and he treats them like crud, and they end up divorced, and only then do they look in the right places for a guy, the afore mentioned nerdy friend, who in turn is stuck with all the baggage of her relationship with the previous guy.

I know ALL women are not like this, but its the norm in my opinion.

By the way, I'm unbiased on this, I've tried both the bad boy and the nice guy personality types and Im still single at 21, im not a 'bitter nice guy'

 

[Papabear]

The problem with the "female based replies" from the female group here at ALL is that most of the females here are exceptionally excellent people. We are all kind of in that "nice people finish last" group.

So of course you are gonna get quite a bit of disagreement with your OP, however... I do agree with you. The only women in my life that are in serious relationships now are all completely miserable with their partners because they didn't go for the nice guy first... that they claim to want.