C
copperation
Guest
Speaking from experience, other people can find lonely people dull and boring. Certainly many of us find it hard to socialise, but I'm talking about those of us who open our mouths.
It took me years to twig that it wasn't everybody else being mean when they'd tell me to shut up, rather it was because I was often a total and overwhelming bore. I thought I was being ignored but I was too wrapped up in myself to consider that my chuntering was counter-productive.
I usually got on OK with people and was able able to chat normally. But on the comparitively rare occasions when I'd be asked to talk about any special interests I would witter and drone on and on. This was my limelight and I was going to use it. But I ended up driving people away because my 'interesting speeches' were often wayward and had no real point.
This carried on for years until I started to think about how I articulated myself. Then I felt much happier when workmates, etc, would take an interest in my views and hobbies. So, then, they weren't ignoring me or hating me all along, they just didn't like the jibber-jabber.
I've also noticed that a few people on this forum seem to wallow in their own miseries a bit. I've sometimes cried for help myself but found that because I seemed to be projecting misery without hope then that only served to drive 'normal' people away.
(I sincerely hope I'm not alienating anybody with that last paragraph, and if so then I deeply apologise. But I thought it important to mention it.)
The secret is to keep what you say short and punchy. Summaries are enough and you go into detail if asked. Also, don't wallow in yourself or indulge in self-pity, stay upbeat or optimistic if possible. Lucky for me I never moaned on about any personal miseries, but what I did used to drone on about was bad enough.
So there it is. I just thought I would mention it in case it came in handy for someone.
It took me years to twig that it wasn't everybody else being mean when they'd tell me to shut up, rather it was because I was often a total and overwhelming bore. I thought I was being ignored but I was too wrapped up in myself to consider that my chuntering was counter-productive.
I usually got on OK with people and was able able to chat normally. But on the comparitively rare occasions when I'd be asked to talk about any special interests I would witter and drone on and on. This was my limelight and I was going to use it. But I ended up driving people away because my 'interesting speeches' were often wayward and had no real point.
This carried on for years until I started to think about how I articulated myself. Then I felt much happier when workmates, etc, would take an interest in my views and hobbies. So, then, they weren't ignoring me or hating me all along, they just didn't like the jibber-jabber.
I've also noticed that a few people on this forum seem to wallow in their own miseries a bit. I've sometimes cried for help myself but found that because I seemed to be projecting misery without hope then that only served to drive 'normal' people away.
(I sincerely hope I'm not alienating anybody with that last paragraph, and if so then I deeply apologise. But I thought it important to mention it.)
The secret is to keep what you say short and punchy. Summaries are enough and you go into detail if asked. Also, don't wallow in yourself or indulge in self-pity, stay upbeat or optimistic if possible. Lucky for me I never moaned on about any personal miseries, but what I did used to drone on about was bad enough.
So there it is. I just thought I would mention it in case it came in handy for someone.