Abstamyous
Well-known member
Hey, ALL!
I am an alcoholic, almost at 3 years of sobriety, working on the "development" part of my living. Alcohol wasn't my first addiction, as I have always had the need to be obsessed with something.
Over the years, I have developed a feeling of not having anywhere to "grow roots". I have felt the need to "escape" since I was young child, starting with the need to escape school, escape parents, relationships, and eventually myself through drinking.
I have lived a lot of my life backwards, believing I could rewrite history, or even just be better. And, perhaps in many ways, I was better. But inside, I was hollow.
At my core, I fear not having value. I fear what happens when things go quiet, so I often find myself in situations where things are more chaotic. More than I'd normally like to admit, I fall into the victim role, and become resentful. I often try to put myself into some "machine" role, where I can hide from my own feelings through working. It always comes back, though.
As I said goodbye to 2020, I thought about the things I would like to welcome into my life. More gratitude, trust in my personal life, and being okay with who I am. I welcome saying "no" to things that just don't work for me, as well "yes" to things I should be more open minded towards.
Sounds cheesy, right?
I am someone who ponders life often, and find myself having all sorts of realizations.
I thought, perhaps a little selfishly, that it would be nice to have a thread to share stories of recovery/development. Doesn't have to be limited to addiction issues. All stories of growth welcome. As well as articles, videos, and music that perhaps really speak to who you are becoming as a person. Who were you, who are you now, who do you wish to be? Your story is yours, and you are important!
I will come back daily (or several times a day), to share something that I have found that stood out to me.
Thank you for taking the time to check this thread out!
I am an alcoholic, almost at 3 years of sobriety, working on the "development" part of my living. Alcohol wasn't my first addiction, as I have always had the need to be obsessed with something.
Over the years, I have developed a feeling of not having anywhere to "grow roots". I have felt the need to "escape" since I was young child, starting with the need to escape school, escape parents, relationships, and eventually myself through drinking.
I have lived a lot of my life backwards, believing I could rewrite history, or even just be better. And, perhaps in many ways, I was better. But inside, I was hollow.
At my core, I fear not having value. I fear what happens when things go quiet, so I often find myself in situations where things are more chaotic. More than I'd normally like to admit, I fall into the victim role, and become resentful. I often try to put myself into some "machine" role, where I can hide from my own feelings through working. It always comes back, though.
As I said goodbye to 2020, I thought about the things I would like to welcome into my life. More gratitude, trust in my personal life, and being okay with who I am. I welcome saying "no" to things that just don't work for me, as well "yes" to things I should be more open minded towards.
Sounds cheesy, right?
I am someone who ponders life often, and find myself having all sorts of realizations.
I thought, perhaps a little selfishly, that it would be nice to have a thread to share stories of recovery/development. Doesn't have to be limited to addiction issues. All stories of growth welcome. As well as articles, videos, and music that perhaps really speak to who you are becoming as a person. Who were you, who are you now, who do you wish to be? Your story is yours, and you are important!
I will come back daily (or several times a day), to share something that I have found that stood out to me.
Thank you for taking the time to check this thread out!