Flirting and skewed ratios

[tusk]

Hey forumers!
Maybe this problem is a bit strange. Or maybe there's a deeper issue beneath. Anyway; I find it very hard to flirt with girls I meet in my day-to-day business because I feel it'd be so cheesy. For example, if I'm in a party with lots of guys and very few girls, I can't show interest because it'd be "so typical". So what I do is I ignore the girl in those situations, so I can be "better than the rest" and not "just another guy". It might also be a way to show I'm not "pathetic".
Is this common? What ideas spring into your mind?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I stick out like a door knob....oneway or the other.
women are either going to love me or hate me..

Try going into a country bar full
Of rednecks..
Country musuc playing in the jukebox.

I drop in a dallor in the juke box
And play....Alternative metal. Lmao

Its a suage fest...5 to 6 chicks for 25 guys.
2 of those chciks are talking to me..
fresia it...i dont need to talk to all the
chicks....the prettiest gal in the bar
Are hanging with ne.

Im such a cocky basturd.

Im asian too.hahahaaaa

 

[kamya]

Good plan if you are trying to get overlooked and forgotten.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Dont belive chicks gose to party or whatever other
Tham to have a good time...
Derously, poeple dont recall much when theyre messed ul
Lutta their god **** minds.

Oh geeze il write it in a different way..
Have self conference. Parties or bars
Arn such a big deal. Stop worrying
So nuch what people thinks...
Dudes without experince get themselves all
Whine up just to talk to a chick or ask her
To dance. And wanna cling ons..

Simply just ask her for her number.
Then leave her alone or even leave the
Party or bar. Then hit her up later
One on one....
Shes oot going to be a slut in front of her
Friends thats for sure
I

---

Flirt....thats easy for me to figure out.
Women touch me...they make bidy cintacts
With ne. Im beyound saying stulid lines.
They had akready made an invitation.

Had plenty of women asked me out or
Took me home. Had plenty of women
Made themselves available to me..
Its discrete..theyll cstch me outside
Hsving a cigg and stsrt talking to me
So see dosnt have to shut. Exchange
Numbers...then shell return to social
With groups of friends.
While dudes are staring at the walls
Or cock blocking thrmselves.

Then she call me after closing hours
To go bang the living honeysuckle out of her
.dont kiss and tell kindda thing.

---

Im forbidden love for some women. It turns them
Even more.

---

To hit up on a chick...you gatta
saperate her from the crowd...

My life is easier when she saperates
herself from the crowd to make herself
available to me.
Its not rocket science when a woman
wants to get to know me..
She makes herself avaliable to me.

 

[roguewave]

I don't have any good advice right now (though I'm going to think on it). But I wanted to respond to tell you that your problem totally makes sense and is not strange.
Girls are used to a certain type of guy coming onto them with cheesy pickup lines, etc. so it's understandable that you wouldn't want to be that guy. So your concern of being cheesy/unoriginal is preventing you from making your move.
The downside to ignoring the girl to avoid feeling pathetic or typical is that she won't have any idea that you're into her. So you're stuck with letting her come on to you. Even though that happens more than in the past, it's still not the norm, that I see anyway. If a girl is both extroverted and super interested than it's more likely to happen, but girls are still not being raised to initiate with men.

I don't know how girls want to be approached by guys these days but I would imagine it would include being respectful and leaving her alone if she isn't interested. But that's just the bare minimum and doesn't describe how to pick her up.

It basically comes down to three things:

1.) Is she in the market and available?
2.) Does she find the guy interesting/enjoy his personality?
3.) Does she find him attractive?

So there isn't anything you can do about #1 and #3 has more to do with her personal esthetics. So that leaves #2. The best thing is to have things in common. If you can find common ground with her you can use it as a launch pad to start a conversation. Word of warning, don't start out by telling her how you generate income. That is a convo killer.

Question: Have you always had this problem or is the result of rejection or watching other guys get rejected?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Its slmost a catch 22 if you havnt experience a waman
Ask you out.
And its the same if you havnt witness a woman reject
Other men then turn around and ask you out.

From my experience..that effect my perception.
And how i feel about myself.

---

More importance..as far as attracting women.
Its bow i percieve other men.
Whike your dating....its best to put aside,
Equality stuff.
Basically i put out a vibe that i own the place
or the domjnate male or alpha male to the
Women.
I personally dont give a fresia what other males
Thinks or say about me...
The confidence factor or leadership role.
She feels me and nktice me.
Ill catch her looking at ne..etc.

---

So if i play netal musuc in a country bar.
And im the only asain guy...
It takes guts or balls at some level.
Mostly directed towards the men...

---

Plus if I've been with beautiful lots...
its not a big deal to me..
Ive been dissentitized by her beauty sort
Of speak. Deep down inside i know she's
Just human...
So im relaxed and can build repore with her.
The conversations will vari.

If i get rejected or strike out...its
Not a big deal either...

---

Ive had plenty of women hit on me
In front of my fiancee. Or ex.

All the women ive been with have
Jealousy issues no matter how
pretty they are. Everybody have
Insecurities at some level.

At sametime the women i attract
Are sort of like me.
Theyer either are independent
Or queen bee..personallities.


But ive never gotten into a serous
Relationship with a woman I've
Met at parties or bars.,

Yes, ive had one night stands or flings
while i was dating.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Good plan if you are trying to get overlooked and forgotten.

Not necessarily. I understand what the OP is saying. He doesn't want to seem like a guy who's pushy for attention. I completely understand what he means. It's the same reason why I promised myself that if I happened to like another guy after my ex two, almost three years ago, I would not tell him that I liked him. Didn't mean I was overlooked or forgotten. I actually think it worked to my benefit. The reason why I did that was because I figured if things were to happen, then they would just happen. If not, then I wouldn't feel completely stupid for saying anything else.

I suppose the OP figures if a girl were to be attracted to him in any type of way, then she'd approach him and things would be as they'd be.

 

[HappyYogi]

I highly suggest you learn to flirt! I am not talking about the brazen flirting we associate with on tv...but there is a subtle, lovely flirtation that we can all do more of to make the dating game more fun!

I would stop doing what you are doing because it says "I am not interested" and it communicates coldness.

All I know is flirtation for women...listen intently, SMILE, look him in the eye, when you see a guy you like look him in the eye for THREE seconds to give him the "message", show enthusiasm, make him feel good for calling, etc etc.

I know there is a male counterpart to this. Learn it. Learn how to flirt. The key to successful dating is to make it fun, positive and light while getting to know others.

 

[tusk]

Thanks for your replies!

Question: Have you always had this problem or is the result of rejection or watching other guys get rejected?

I don't think it's because of me getting rejected; I haven't really been blatantly rejected IRL. I think at least some of it comes down to caring too much about what people around me would think if I got rejected, or hell, even if it worked out.

Good plan if you are trying to get overlooked and forgotten.

Not necessarily. I understand what the OP is saying. He doesn't want to seem like a guy who's pushy for attention. I completely understand what he means. It's the same reason why I promised myself that if I happened to like another guy after my ex two, almost three years ago, I would not tell him that I liked him. Didn't mean I was overlooked or forgotten. I actually think it worked to my benefit. The reason why I did that was because I figured if things were to happen, then they would just happen. If not, then I wouldn't feel completely stupid for saying anything else.

I suppose the OP figures if a girl were to be attracted to him in any type of way, then she'd approach him and things would be as they'd be.

For me, the problem with fate is that I think you create your own world, and I think it's obvious that I need to improve my social behavior. But at the same time, that'd make me more pushy. :/

I highly suggest you learn to flirt! I am not talking about the brazen flirting we associate with on tv...but there is a subtle, lovely flirtation that we can all do more of to make the dating game more fun!

I would stop doing what you are doing because it says "I am not interested" and it communicates coldness.

All I know is flirtation for women...listen intently, SMILE, look him in the eye, when you see a guy you like look him in the eye for THREE seconds to give him the "message", show enthusiasm, make him feel good for calling, etc etc.

I know there is a male counterpart to this. Learn it. Learn how to flirt. The key to successful dating is to make it fun, positive and light while getting to know others.

The strange thing is, I'm practicing flirting on public transportation and when walking places, and I'm pretty OK with that. As long as it doesn't escalate into something more than a smile, which is pretty safe in those places. With someone I've set out to meet 1 on 1, this problem doesn't exist, so there's clearly a difference between the two settings.
When I think about talking to someone like that, or when I'm in similar situations, I almost feel like crying. I'm afraid that'll put a frown on my face.

By the way, if you saw someone interesting you'd like to talk to, would it be necessary to make eye contact first, before approaching?