friend to friend

[eviloreo]

so ive been searching around looking maybe into volunteering to meet people. On my search here i stumbled on to friend to friend america http://www.friendtofriendamerica.org/

Basically visit old people in nursing home. Although i would prefer to meet people around my age this volunteer group intrigues me a little. However the only problem is im not the greatest conversation starter nor am i the greatest "oh hey this is getting boring lets do something/change the topic" guy either.

In fact i dont even have a clue what to even talk about with a elderly person since i already have problems keeping a sub par interesting subject with another person my age.

I was wondoring if anyone ever volunteered for this group or did something simular and how it went for you

 

[Antihero]

I have no experience in the area, but I somehow imagine that quite a few older people would just be glad to have an ear to talk to. It certainly sounds more selfless than solely working with people your own age in hopes of meeting someone, but then again you might meet someone who is also working with the elderly.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I worked in an elderly home for around 9 months out of my life.
The pay wasn't great and the work was dirty at times,
but it was one of the greastest experince in my life.
It had an everlasting impac in my life. I can still remember
it today.

The elders had so much wisdom. Most of the time I listened.
They had so much experince from living life. They all have
their stories to share. Sometime we'll play board games
or puzzel

It was as if I had a chance to travel through time and witness
some of thier experince with them. I met a wide range of
people...rich, poor, different racis, . They all had a different
life.

At first i thought it was a little odd but after a while they
where just like other people to me.

It kind of hit me oneday. As i was helping an elderly women
that was around 100 years old...She was still capiable of walking
and she demanded that she walked and not wheelchaired.
She wanted to live. She also had a very great sence of humor.

Anyway, i notice all of her pictures she had of her life.
The different stages of her life. From a little girl , to
a teenage ager, a young beautiful woman(she was HAWT !!!)
A middle age woman , to and old lady, to a grandmother.
The veriouse things that she love in her life...people, place
and things. She love horses. There was love in her life.
Her room was warm...you can sense it.

I also witness a woman die at a very young age...maybe
in her mid 50's...She didn't want to live. Her room was
empty, no pictures..not nothing. She was always bitching
about sometihing or another. Her room felt of death and coldness.

Then started notice these samethings in the variouse
rooms of differnt people.

I learned so, so much....from gratitude, patients, love,
courage, compassion, truimphs, fears and all the many attributes in life from the elders.

I can't put it all into 1 post.
If you have an opportunity to do this type of service work
do so....you'll gain so, so much.

It open up my eyes. I had a differnt perspective
for life that's for sure.

Life is a trip.

well, there's cute looking nurses or caretakers I met too
One of girls flirted with me all the time.

 

[Brian]

Actually, one of my best friends is in his 60s. I'm 20. He's my fire chief and he lives right across the street from me. He has a nice corner house and in the summers, abunch of us are always with him sitting out on his immaculate lawn, because he's always got a fridge full of juice and pop he needs help emptying.

And there's always conversation because he's -always- got a story or experience to talk about, and he'll ask what's new, etc. Granted, he's not in a retirement home, but he's easy to talk to.

Those in a retirement home, I would imagine are fairly simmilar. Once you get to know them you'll probably do fine. Like the other guys said, they're usually glad to have someone to talk to, and to someone in a home who's relatives may or may not pay much attention to them, playing a board game with them could mean the world.

 

[eviloreo]

the thing that concerns me is that these people would feel im there out of pity or something. I mean come on , these people arent stupid and the "commitment" from this volunteer thingy is 2 times a month? I was never a real good friend when i did have good friends but only twice a month to me is a pretty low standard.

And from the looks of the "application".. i guess you could call it, seems more concerned of people breaking off from their commitments then anything else.

In the application there was also a question if you want to take your friend outside and asked if you have a car and have insurance. I thought about it for a moment, where would you bring someone, espically someone who is much older to? A muesum? if i was old i'd be pissed if someone took me to a muesum XD, and the idea of taking them out for a bite doesnt seem very respectful either, "hey you enjoying those grits over there?......" again i'd be pissed, but where would we go? o.0

 

[Nic]

I did tons of volunteer work at nursing homes during my time in high school for NJROTC. It was more along the lines of "go as often as you want"; so I never had a set schedule or anything.

But back to the topic at hand.

Some of the most interesting, sincere, and selfless people I have met when I did volunteer work. A lot of folks living there are always happy to see a unique face, anyone who can listen to a story or two. Its not the same for everybody, but a good portion have been somewhat forgotten by their families. Or, the family just doesn't visit as often as they should. That's where volunteers come in. You're intended to "fill the gap" between regular visits to people, and the staff gets a bonus of having another pair of eyes around, in case of a fall or food poising.

It sounds rather humiliating, but you have no idea what kind of difference you can make in these people's lives. Especially if you go on a regular basis, twice a week or so. It's not the same with everybody, but a lot of people there are looking to make a friend that is outside the demographic there. Think about it, how much do you stick out what I assume is barely into your twenties, and not wearing a staff uniform. People want to meet you, share some stories, have a laugh or two. Yes, people know you are a volunteer; but they've come to expect that with their current lifestyle. Anyone who they see on a regular basis is more than welcome in their book. You don't even have to be much of a conversation starter, a good portion are so bursting with things to tell you, just someone who can listen, they can talk for hours. You can steer the conversation to keep it from getting too boring; but really, there are more interesting people in homes than you would ever believe.

I'm making a poor argument, but trust me, if you go in having good intentions, and an open mind, you can get one awesome return from volunteer service. The basic outcome is that you can make some unique friends that are well outside your own demographic.

PS

For places to go, put yourself in their shoes. What's something you can't get at the home; An all-American hamburger, or maybe a local sight-seeing venue, such as a park or lake. Believe me, if you get to know someone, aspirations are one of the first things they'll tell you. By the time you plan on taking anyone, anywhere, you'll know exactly what they could use.