AFrozenSoul
Well-known member
Sorry this is kind of a rant/brain dump. I would love some input, however, feel free to ignore me.
For those of you who have not seen my millions of thoughts about my current female situations... I have a situation with females. That is what I will leave it at. I am sure you can find my threads if you REALLY want to know details. This post more gears towards my thoughts about females.
When I lie around think about a girl who I am trying to build something with. The only thing I can think about is how disappointed I will be if I do not sleep with her, on the day we meet. Despite the fact that she is really nice and sweet and seems like we have a whole lot in common and could grow something really nice. I think about my attitude towards females. Then I think, why the hell can't I just think of her as a friend. I mean that is what I told her I wanted. Yet now that I have a chance to meet her all I can think about is ways to get her to sleep with me.
I sit here and wonder why that is. Why can't I just be friends with her? Why can't I just see her as a person? It hurts me, because I feel this will ruin any relationship I could have with her. It kind of ruined my last relationship. My last female friend told me that when we stopping having sex I seemed like I was not having as much fun. She was partially right, it was less fun spending time with her knowing I was not going to actually have sex. When I realized that, I was hurt. It hurt me a lot. It made me start to despise myself, because I am becoming like my dad.
I just don't get it, why is it that when I cannot just be friends with a female, when I do not have some kind of barrier between us. Such as I have some other female I am having sex with or the internet. Why do I need such big powerful labels and barriers to make me. Why can't I just appreciate someone for who they are? Just have fun, be a real friend. No I have to go straight to getting sex from her. What is worse is I will push a female away if I do not achieve that goal or already have that barrier in place.
I don't know like I said this is making me very depressed. Any thoughts on what kind of a miserable person I am?
For those of you who have not seen my millions of thoughts about my current female situations... I have a situation with females. That is what I will leave it at. I am sure you can find my threads if you REALLY want to know details. This post more gears towards my thoughts about females.
When I lie around think about a girl who I am trying to build something with. The only thing I can think about is how disappointed I will be if I do not sleep with her, on the day we meet. Despite the fact that she is really nice and sweet and seems like we have a whole lot in common and could grow something really nice. I think about my attitude towards females. Then I think, why the hell can't I just think of her as a friend. I mean that is what I told her I wanted. Yet now that I have a chance to meet her all I can think about is ways to get her to sleep with me.
I sit here and wonder why that is. Why can't I just be friends with her? Why can't I just see her as a person? It hurts me, because I feel this will ruin any relationship I could have with her. It kind of ruined my last relationship. My last female friend told me that when we stopping having sex I seemed like I was not having as much fun. She was partially right, it was less fun spending time with her knowing I was not going to actually have sex. When I realized that, I was hurt. It hurt me a lot. It made me start to despise myself, because I am becoming like my dad.
I just don't get it, why is it that when I cannot just be friends with a female, when I do not have some kind of barrier between us. Such as I have some other female I am having sex with or the internet. Why do I need such big powerful labels and barriers to make me. Why can't I just appreciate someone for who they are? Just have fun, be a real friend. No I have to go straight to getting sex from her. What is worse is I will push a female away if I do not achieve that goal or already have that barrier in place.
I don't know like I said this is making me very depressed. Any thoughts on what kind of a miserable person I am?