Going to events solo

[Glowgirl]

I'm curious as to whether anyone else feels uncomfortable in going to places alone.

There are sometimes places I'd like to go - concerts, festivals, stuff like that - but I miss them all because I don't know anyone else who wants to go, and I'd feel uncomfortable going there alone.

I'm also female, certain places at nighttime I feel like being completely on my own raises safety issues. Definitely if you're sitting in a pub or a club or something on your own you're pretty much broadcasting that you're out to pick up - I couldn't do it!

I used to feel uncomfortable going to the movies alone, now I have streamed movies so it doesn't matter!

Does this make sense to anyone else?

 

[ASnowyCanadian]

Yeah, i go to the movies alone often, just to get out. I always think that everyone knows im alone, or tgat they at least notice. I worry about what they might think or say but i just tell myself they're strangers who dont know me. That always keeps me calm. I think i might be a little bit paranoid.

 

[Barbaloot]

Yeah, I'm the same way about a doing a lot of activities by myself. I feel like anything that could potentially compromise my safety as a woman too greatly isn't worth the risk or discomfort. There are a lot of activities and environments I would just feel too vulnerable in as a woman - concerts especially, or pretty much any night time activity.

 

[Okiedokes]

There are some places I have gone alone because I was just that **** desperate to get out of the house, and someone wouldn't come with me. lol. I have gone to the beach alone a lot. I haven't done the movies in like 8 years, and don't feel the need to go there. Not a big movie theater person.

 

[Veruca]

I used to feel really self conscious about going to certain places alone but I forced myself to do it and I'm really glad I did . Movies, orchestra performances, plays, weddings/parties, volunteer activities. Once I even went to a pub by myself, ordered orange juice and sat there writing in my notebook because I desperately wanted to get out of the house that night.

I definitely avoid dangerous areas though. I traveled alone once and really didn't like it, so I probably won't do that alone next time.

Try it glowgirl, and I promise you the liberation you feel is completely worth it

 

[PyramidHead]

Better being alone around people, than being alone at home. True Story.

 

[GioRocket]

I've been to the cinema alone before, I first went alone about a year ago and I was really self conscious that somebody would recognise me or something stupid like that, which is ridiculous really, nobody can even see you in the theatre, it dark! I go there alone more often than not now

 

[LonelyInAtl]

I think there are places that are socially acceptable to go alone and those that are not.

For example, I was given two tickets to the Chateau Elan NYE Masquerade Ball and couldn't get a date, so I sold the tickets for $600. I personally think events like that are for couples.

I'll sometimes go to black tie fundraisers alone because there are other bachelors there as well. Seems that single affluent males are the target of a lot of fundraising organizations these days.

If I go to eat out at a restaurant alone, I'll usually sit at the bar and eat. There seems to be less of a stigma eating there for some reason. I would do that at hotels when I was married and out of town, so it just naturally progressed to doing it at home now that I'm divorced and alone. People don't really know you're alone there our of desperation, but consider you may be in town on business.

I do go hiking alone. It's not really the safest thing in the world, but I need the exercise and it's kind of my "zen" time. I do have am emergency satellite beacon that I can use in case I get in trouble.

 

[edamame721]

Like most people, there are places that I can go alone and some I avoid. I don't like to go to festivals, concerts, or bars alone. But I have gotten used to eating out alone at regular haunts. Having a drink alone at a cafe is nice, so are walks in the park.

You might want to try watching movies alone. I love doing that. No one's paying attention to you and you shouldn't be paying attention to the fact that you're alone, but enjoying the movie! It's a lot easier to find the perfect seat when you don't have to accommodate friends who want to sit with you. =D

 

[BlueArtist]

I used to go to places like a coffee shop alone, but after a while it just made me depressed when I see the one after the other happy couple walking in and sitting together, laughing, talking and staring into one anothers eyes. So lately I will only go out to visit friends once in a while, but even that is depressing sometimes since all my friends are married with their own families and I start to feel like a third wheel when in their company

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Nope, I do stuff alone all the time. Nothing wrong with it no matter what your gender is. After all, how are you supposed to meet new people and make these friends to take out if you do not go out and meet them?

 

[aribeth]

I have a problem of going out alone. I tried going for coffee alone but I get paranoid. There are a few other places I go to but I always feel self conscious. Wish I could get over it but I can't.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

I have a problem of going out alone. I tried going for coffee alone but I get paranoid. There are a few other places I go to but I always feel self conscious. Wish I could get over it but I can't.

I came to the conclusion that either I get used to it or wind up a hermit.

I'm going out to a pub tonight for NYE alone. I'll most likely be the only one there alone warming a bar stool all night.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I'm going out to a pub tonight for NYE alone. I'll most likely be the only one there alone warming a bar stool all night.

You and me both friend. I am even going to a formalish event. So I get to spiff myself up and then sit around and get drunk by myself

 

[Glowgirl]

I'm going out to a pub tonight for NYE alone. I'll most likely be the only one there alone warming a bar stool all night.

You and me both friend. I am even going to a formalish event. So I get to spiff myself up and then sit around and get drunk by myself

See, I wouldn't enjoy it under those circumstances, I think that's the problem! The general consensus seems to be some places are fine, not others. It's a pity because it means I can't follow some of my interests as much as I'd like to, and I'm less interesting for it! Oh well..

 

[AFrozenSoul]

See, I wouldn't enjoy it under those circumstances, I think that's the problem! The general consensus seems to be some places are fine, not others. It's a pity because it means I can't follow some of my interests as much as I'd like to, and I'm less interesting for it! Oh well..

Yeah, it can suck, but what is worse going somewhere and not enjoying it or just staying in and hating yourself. Grr... Why is the line for booze so long.

 

[FlyingPlatypus]

I feel very awkward when I'm alone somewhere. It's like I'm under a big spotlight and everybody around me knows how much of a loser I am. The solution is to force yourself to go out alone to some places. With time, I think it will become easier.

 

[Veruca]

When I was in psych school, the professor taught us about assigning "tasks" to clients with social anxiety. An example of a task was to ask the patient to start facing their fears by taking a bus alone, getting off at the next stop, and take the next bus back home. With time, they would increase the distance between stops and move on to more challenging tasks.

Or let's use a coffee shop as an example.

Say you're meeting someone for coffee. Try to show up perhaps 5 minutes before. You get a coffee and read while you wait for this person. Which basically means you're only sitting alone in a coffee shop for maybe 3 minutes tops (not very long and you have a book). If it feels ok, then you can try increasing the time, and eventually you can try sitting a whole hour with a book or without and then move on to doing other things alone.

Not sure if this helps

 

[MindsArmor]

I've done festivals alone.

At first it feels unnatural to be there alone, but once the music starts no one cares anymore and neither should you. On top of that I've seen plenty of loners on festivals and unless you're paying attention to them they dissapear into the crowd just like any other person.

So yes, it does make sense that you are uncomfortable to do things alone, but from my experience all I can say is that it's not as bad as you might expect

 

[Lefty Lonely]

Idont have social anxiety but yeah, going out to things/having meals alone in public ,can seem really awkward. Im saying screw it though. I found a decent restaurant where it looks just fine to be out by myself so I may go there every once in a while