Guys, if you knew a girl liked you, but you didn't like them would you ....?

[AiyanaS]

Theres this guy I like and and am trying get over, he doesn't like me and now has a girlfriend he likes very much. We used to talk often but he began to act different around me (talk monotone, not look me in eye) and distance himself from me, will not carry a conversation, but will catch my attention to say Hi in the hallway before hurrying by, ever since I began to show I liked him (been ongoing for 3 months now). He's my first crush so I didn't know how to handle the feelings and I admit to overanalyzing his every move, getting very nervous around him (shaking), thinking about him constantly, start talking about a topic that I'm sure probably gave him the wrong impression about me, following him around and trying to talk to him often (3- 4 times a week), I'm afraid I creeped him out . Anyway, he's a nice guy and probably didn't want to say to my face that he didn't feel the same way. I asked a friend, who knows to talk to him about it and the guy I liked replied that I was cool and that he was sorry about the misunderstanding, he was just being friendly".
Anyway, I really do want to be friends with this guy, reestablish the friendship that may have been starting before I started to like him but I'm afraid I blew that chance. I'm thinking of talking to him when I next see him, in person I don't have these conversations over text, and asking if we could start over and be friends and that apologize for the past 3 months, when I showed signs of liking him, known him for 5 months. I have no intention of getting between him and his girlfriend, if thats what anyone maybe thinking, I am a religious Catholic and respect there relationship and if he gives me another chance, plan to keep at a respectable distance. I just want to reestablish a friendship with him, if thats ever possible.

Also this guy is not a loner, he has a well established circle of friends and hangs-out with them often, he told me. He's not like me who lacks self-confidence, never hung-out with friends before, has no experience with members of the opposite gender (most guys I met at my high school weren't worth befriending) and has few not close friends. When we used to talk often, before I started to like him, we really related well with each other, I think so at least, and were comfortable talking to one another. I was also comfortable talking to him about things I wouldn't to anyone else, even after 1 month of knowing him, and I DO NOT trust people easily, I could just sense something about him that I felt I could trust him. He also used to talk to me and tell me things about himself that he said he didn't tell others. I really want that friendship, that was forming, back but I'm afraid I blew my chance.

Guys, if you knew a girl liked you but you didn't feel the same way, but she apologized for her passed behavior and asked if you wouldn't mind starting over being friends, would you being willing to start over and be friends with her or would you only say yes to her face just to be nice?

Any advice?

 

[painter's radio]

Yes, I would like to remain friends with a girl/person like that. It may be a bit difficult though, as everyone has a different idea of what "a respectable distance" actually is. His girlfriend might be the jealous type, for example, so a respectable distance to her would be a lot more distance than someone who is not the jealous type.

It sounds like you have strong morals and are very respectful of their relationship, but is there not the possibility that deep down, you are hoping to get even closer with him? You may not act on it, due to your beliefs or just morals in general, but we're all human, many of us have the hope in these situations, and he or she might not be so comfortable with that. But it also depends on what exactly you plan on doing with him, as a friend. Do you just want to clear the air, and have the friend status? Or would you be wanting to spend time with him and do things together? It's not necessarily a bad thing if you want to spend time, but it depends on how all parties involved feel about it.

It is entirely possible with some communication, you might even want to be her friend too - this will let her get to know you also and perhaps learn to trust you. And you would score two friends out of it Some advice I think would be to try and relax about it, whatever happens, take it easy, don't push anyone, and maybe try to keep such heavy emotions out of it, like it would not be the end of the world if you were unable to be friends with him. Such sadness will be seen by others as love.

 

[PyramidHead]

Guys, if you knew a girl liked you but you didn't feel the same way, but she apologized for her passed behavior and asked if you wouldn't mind starting over being friends, would you being willing to start over and be friends with her or would you only say yes to her face just to be nice?

honeysuckle happens, so I surely wouldn't mind to be friends, as long as she says that she is sorry AND as long as it doesn't happen again. Nobody is perfect, so such things can happen... but if they don't stop to happen, even after she promised it, then it surely would turn into a real problem.

However, just to make sure that you know what kind of person gives you this advice:

Guys, if you knew a girl liked you ...

... I would actually like her too, since she either is the kindest heart in the world or a very crazy girl, if she actually likes someone like me. True Story.

 

[Sci-Fi]

How do you know you creeped him out? Guys can be clueless as to what is going on around them a lot of times, especially teenage boys. You might be sinking yourself deeper if you apologize for behaviour he hadn't even noticed. Feel him out...sorry poor choice of words...just see if he talks to you in the same way he has. Sometimes you don't even need to apologize, most guys like him just rather brush it off and not bring it up, than to talk about it and make a bigger deal out of it.

To answer your question though, as long as the girl can cope with being just friends, yes. If she can't then no. Been there before, not a good experience.

 

[doobie]

Theres this guy I like and and am trying get over, he doesn't like me and now has a girlfriend he likes very much. We used to talk often but he began to act different around me (talk monotone, not look me in eye) and distance himself from me, will not carry a conversation, but will catch my attention to say Hi in the hallway before hurrying by, ever since I began to show I liked him (been ongoing for 3 months now). He's my first crush so I didn't know how to handle the feelings and I admit to overanalyzing his every move, getting very nervous around him (shaking), thinking about him constantly, start talking about a topic that I'm sure probably gave him the wrong impression about me, following him around and trying to talk to him often (3- 4 times a week), I'm afraid I creeped him out . Anyway, he's a nice guy and probably didn't want to say to my face that he didn't feel the same way. I asked a friend, who knows to talk to him about it and the guy I liked replied that I was cool and that he was sorry about the misunderstanding, he was just being friendly".
Anyway, I really do want to be friends with this guy, reestablish the friendship that may have been starting before I started to like him but I'm afraid I blew that chance. I'm thinking of talking to him when I next see him, in person I don't have these conversations over text, and asking if we could start over and be friends and that apologize for the past 3 months, when I showed signs of liking him, known him for 5 months. I have no intention of getting between him and his girlfriend, if thats what anyone maybe thinking, I am a religious Catholic and respect there relationship and if he gives me another chance, plan to keep at a respectable distance. I just want to reestablish a friendship with him, if thats ever possible.

Also this guy is not a loner, he has a well established circle of friends and hangs-out with them often, he told me. He's not like me who lacks self-confidence, never hung-out with friends before, has no experience with members of the opposite gender (most guys I met at my high school weren't worth befriending) and has few not close friends. When we used to talk often, before I started to like him, we really related well with each other, I think so at least, and were comfortable talking to one another. I was also comfortable talking to him about things I wouldn't to anyone else, even after 1 month of knowing him, and I DO NOT trust people easily, I could just sense something about him that I felt I could trust him. He also used to talk to me and tell me things about himself that he said he didn't tell others. I really want that friendship, that was forming, back but I'm afraid I blew my chance.

Guys, if you knew a girl liked you but you didn't feel the same way, but she apologized for her passed behavior and asked if you wouldn't mind starting over being friends, would you being willing to start over and be friends with her or would you only say yes to her face just to be nice?

Any advice?

I don't see a reason to start over. Attraction between people comes and goes. If a woman already knew I wasn't interested and thought we had to like "renew" our friendship, it would creep me out a little.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

This happened to me too actually but I eventually got the hint and packed off. I had cases where people have strong feelings for me, overtime I realize uh oh I feel different about them. That's true how attraction changes, but when I love someone I do show them my interest. Maybe he's worried how she'll react to someone liking him. Not sure. It's hard to tell how people think sometimes. Sometimes I think it's me and distance myself, than I find out later it wasn't me at all. Just be yourself. And I think it would be a good idea for you to concentrate on you. Leave him be for a bit and give him hello's and small talk. Don't push the friendship on him, just go with the flow. I had lots of crushes in my past but not all of them lasted. He may be all on your mind right now, but who knows you could meet someone new. Keep your head up!

 

[LonelyInAtl]

If I knew a woman liked me, I'd try my damndest to like her back 'cause that would probably be a once in a lifetime occurrence!

 

[Code S.O.L]

Yeah, I've kinda been in this situation before. I ran into a highschool aqquaintance about a year back who spotted me out in the crowd. I stopped to have a coffee with her, we swapped numbers, facebook details, etc, etc, and I thought nothing of it. So a few days later, she arranges for me to catch up with her and a few old highschool friends that she kept in touch with. Long story short, no one else showed, and I found myself unwittingly going on a date.

Later that day, she confesses to me on facebook. So I go about it in a gentlemenly fashion. I applaud her for having the courage to admit her feelings to me(something I'd dare not attempt with my crushes), but I don't tell her that I don't find her attractive(I know this sounds shallow on my end, but there was nothing that attractive about her). Instead, I tell her that a relationship isn't something I'm not really prepared for, or ever will be prepared for(which is infact partially true).

We spoke a few more occasions after that, but we eventually drifted in our own directions. So yeah. That's how I'd handle a situation like that.

 

[nerdygirl]

You know, I'm not a guy, but it would make me pretty uncomfortable if I was in this situation and the other person wanted to have a conversation about it. It sounds awkward and unpleasant. Really, I think that actions speak louder than words. If you want to be a friend, be one. Treat him exactly the same way you treat other friends.