Have you ever had your shyness mistaken for unkindness or arogance?
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TheWickedOne
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I've had it mistaken for being a snob, which maybe ties in with arrogance? Not sure, but I was kind of floored at the time.
J
Just_Some_Dude
Guest
Cypha said:I sure have. But, hakuna matata!
What about you?
omg abso-freekin-lutely
yes, for people who are not shy, they don't get the concept. so a lot of them will mistake our body language and just our ways in general for being something other than what it is...shyness.
such as:
- arrogance
- dishonesty
- laziness
- anger
- craziness
- snobbishness
- stupidity
i mean, the list of misconceptions just goes on and on, its as if extroverts can't even grasp the fact that people can just be introverted. there doesn't have to be some sort of disease there. just shyness!
S
SophiaGrace
Guest
They mistake it??????
Wow am I out of the loop, I'm so far introverted I didn't consider people actually thought these things.
Wow am I out of the loop, I'm so far introverted I didn't consider people actually thought these things
.
J
Just_Some_Dude
Guest
Nitramici said:
was fired and told i seemed arrogant
was dumped and told i seemed arrogant
was not invited to the bar on a special occasion because i was arrogant
J
Just_Some_Dude
Guest
true story.
i once had this boss, i worked for him for like five years.
but he was, seriously, like emotionally and verbally abusive.
he would call his employees in on a regular basis and have what we all jokingly called "The Father-Son Talk"...where he basically berate you, tear you down, make you question your right to live even.
one day i couldn't hide my contempt anymore, but i had never ever spoken up for myself.
he says "you have such an arrogant look on your face, what's with that?"
i said "oh. no. it's not arrogance. it's the look of me having nothing left to say, but being ready to beat your ____ing ass!"
he changed his tone real quick and got all civil.
LOL
i once had this boss, i worked for him for like five years.
but he was, seriously, like emotionally and verbally abusive.
he would call his employees in on a regular basis and have what we all jokingly called "The Father-Son Talk"...where he basically berate you, tear you down, make you question your right to live even.
one day i couldn't hide my contempt anymore, but i had never ever spoken up for myself.
he says "you have such an arrogant look on your face, what's with that?"
i said "oh. no. it's not arrogance. it's the look of me having nothing left to say, but being ready to beat your ____ing ass!"
he changed his tone real quick and got all civil.
LOL
C
cheaptrickfan
Guest
I can see what you all are saying because my sister is extremely shy and she's been on the receiving end of "Oh, she's so arrogant and snobby" etc. It's an unfair and flippant observation and sad, because if people took the time to get to know her they'd see how awesome she is.
I can't relate, myself, not having a shy bone in my body. lol Sometimes I am too outgoing, which, I have been told, can be seen as insincere or shallow. :/
I guess that there are just people out there who are inclined to dislike anyone.
I can't relate, myself, not having a shy bone in my body. lol Sometimes I am too outgoing, which, I have been told, can be seen as insincere or shallow. :/
I guess that there are just people out there who are inclined to dislike anyone.
Wolfe
Well-known member
Yeah I have people seem to think I am really rude and stuck up because I wont say anything to them when in all actuality I am just too shy. Oh well
people seem to think I am really rude and stuck up because I wont say anything to them when in all actuality I am just too shy. Oh well I've read your posts, and I can relate to all of them. I've never had a problem with guys being cool with me, but I wasn't always the most outgoing with the girls growing up. I consider myself to be a fairly attractive guy, but for some reason my looks didn't mean honeysuckle, and none of the girls I knew never noticed my talents and easy going personality. One day I was with a girl and we were flirting a bit. When I asked her why we couldn't be more than friends, she told me, "No offense, but you come off as arrogant." HOLY honeysuckle! It's like living your entire life thinking you've worked hard to be a good saint and all the preachers suddenly tell you that you're a demon. It suddenly made me feel like I had worked hard to show people. (spefically the opposite sex) Let me take a second to sit outside of myself and maybe this might make some sense.
Some girls may have gotten me misunderstood because:
1. I'm not bad looking, but I'm also not the best conversationist, so I must seem arogant to some.
2. I feel comfortable wearing flashy street clothes rather than business attire, so I must either be a thug or a player.
3. I'd rather smile and tell a girl how I feel rather than circle around mindless chatter when I like them, so it must come off as creepy sometimes.
Appearances and first impressions usually present false illusions, but if it helps this is my understanding of how some (girls, I'm talking about the opposite sex here) percieve me without ever stepping foot in my world. Can anyone relate?
Some girls may have gotten me misunderstood because:
1. I'm not bad looking, but I'm also not the best conversationist, so I must seem arogant to some.
2. I feel comfortable wearing flashy street clothes rather than business attire, so I must either be a thug or a player.
3. I'd rather smile and tell a girl how I feel rather than circle around mindless chatter when I like them, so it must come off as creepy sometimes.
Appearances and first impressions usually present false illusions, but if it helps this is my understanding of how some (girls, I'm talking about the opposite sex here) percieve me without ever stepping foot in my world. Can anyone relate?
The Wonderful Sin
Well-known member
My shyness/pushing people away and such has people fearing me and hating me. Those who hate me won't admit it because they fear me. I have at least 10 people who have openly told me that they think I am a serial killer... And I'm almost positive more are thinking it. lol
Badjedidude
Well-known member
The Wonderful Sin said:
Lol what's funny about that is that serial killers are usually not the weirdo/arrogant/shy/strange type. People always say things like, "He was so friendly and normal, why would he kill like that?" becuase serial killers usually actually outwardly appear to fit into society very well....so haha I don't know why someone would call you a serial killer if you're a bit awkward or shy in society.
I've had people tell me that I seem a bit stuck-up because I don't talk much...and that surprised me. How in the world could I be stuck-up if I don't even talk? Lol doesn't make sense to me...it seems like I'd have to say something insulting to be arrogant or stuck-up, right? Maybe not...but I find that I have to consciously involve myself in the conversation if I'm with people. If I do that at least every once in a while, then people just think I'm quiet (instead of arrogant, as they think I am when I'm completely silent).
----Steve
Frannie
Member
This is an issue for me. I tend to wait until people talk to me, and some people don't. Which I am cool with. I also don't do small talk very well, which makes it hard to start conversations.
ratboy
Member
Oh man, I thought I was the only one. My own grandmother thinks I hate her, only because I don't have the gumption to speak from my mind.
J
Just_Some_Dude
Guest
Badjedidude said:
just like Ted Bundy,
super charming
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
I'm not exactly shy. I just don't care to talk to people sometimes. But yea, it's a quality that has been taken in a negative way. I just make it easy on people and say I'm a *****.
At least try. Looking back, I wish I had been a lot nicer when I was younger. I did come off as a mean little kid sometimes. But I didn't mean to. And sometimes my grandmother thought I was being a miserable little girl. Now that I don't have her anymore, I just think of all the times I should have had my heart more into whatever was going on at the time.
ratboy said:
At least try. Looking back, I wish I had been a lot nicer when I was younger. I did come off as a mean little kid sometimes. But I didn't mean to. And sometimes my grandmother thought I was being a miserable little girl. Now that I don't have her anymore, I just think of all the times I should have had my heart more into whatever was going on at the time.
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