Having lunch (alone)

[Dexter]

Hey everyone,
most days of the week I am having my lunch at the university' canteen. The canteen is a large hall and always filled with people eating there (I am at a big university with several thousand students).
You can always see these big groups of people (there are of course smaller groups too) who are having there lunch together and then there is me always eating alone between all these big groups (which is somehow annoying and can be a bit sad from time to time)

I know that I have no question here for you to answer or anything like that, but maybe someone has made a similiar experience or you can just share your thoughts on this.

 

[edamame721]

Do you have to eat at the canteen? When I was in school, I preferred going out at a restaurant to eat, or grabbing a sandwich and eating at a study room or outside in the park. When I had someone to eat with it was usually only one friend.

I know it feels awkward, but no one is judging you. Bring a book, don't try to focus on other people. If you do want to find someone to eat with you, keep putting yourself out there to make friends. How about a lab partner or joining a study group? =)

 

[Pete528]

Hey everyone,
most days of the week I am having my lunch at the university' canteen. The canteen is a large hall and always filled with people eating there (I am at a big university with several thousand students).
You can always see these big groups of people (there are of course smaller groups too) who are having there lunch together and then there is me always eating alone between all these big groups (which is somehow annoying and can be a bit sad from time to time)

I know that I have no question here for you to answer or anything like that, but maybe someone has made a similar experience or you can just share your thoughts on this.

Back in my high school years, I used to eat lunch alone in the cafeteria just about all the time and never had an issue with it. Interestingly, those were the years when loneliness was not an issue for me compared to these days.

 

[zero]

I know how it looks and feels like. At the library it`s the same. Take a look at the university halls. This is the students` life in big universities. When I was a student, I was pretty much like you, only it didn`t bother me much. I felt a bit awkard, with pretty much going through my mind, but being a loner by nature, that was not a source of suffering or frustration for me, nor did I lack friends or communication then (man, did I laugh a lot then). I`m absolutely sure that there are others like you in that Mensa, who probably think and feel the same, but you don`t see them, they don`t see you, because you are absorbed by how you feel and withdraw even more.
Trust your instincts and do what you feel during that moments. Eventually you`ll feel comfortable and fit into any kind of situation, as long as it`s in accordance with your inner self.
So, this was like raising my hand, saying "been there, done that".

 

[thegreyman]

I've always eaten alone and done everything else alone. Eating is actually something that I prefer to do alone. Along with going to the cinema, it's one of those things that I'm not sure why it should be a social activity. II would always avoid going to a restaurant and eating alone, however. That would make me feel extremely uncomfortable and conspicuous.

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
I don't think there's anything wrong with eating lunch by yourself but I do know that lonely feeling when you look around and everyone else is in a group and you're not.
I travelled once across the US by car alone. It took me 5 days and I had to eat a few meals alone. I remember feeling vulnerable and isolated. Now if I have to eat out alone, I always have a newspaper or book.
Maybe you could ask a classmate in a class before lunch if they have lunch plans and whether they'd like to join you.

-Teresa

 

[Pete528]

I travelled once across the US by car alone.

I would love to do something like that, but I would be too worried about my safety.

 

[Pete528]

I travelled once across the US by car alone.

I would love to do something like that, but I would be too worried about my safety.

 

[Mike413]

Hey everyone,
most days of the week I am having my lunch at the university' canteen. The canteen is a large hall and always filled with people eating there (I am at a big university with several thousand students).
You can always see these big groups of people (there are of course smaller groups too) who are having there lunch together and then there is me always eating alone between all these big groups (which is somehow annoying and can be a bit sad from time to time)

I know that I have no question here for you to answer or anything like that, but maybe someone has made a similiar experience or you can just share your thoughts on this.

My last year in High School(I went to a school where I didn't know anyone)I sat by myself and sometimes even took my lunch and ate in the library. Most of the time in college I ate by myself also.

---

I travelled once across the US by car alone.

I would love to do something like that, but I would be too worried about my safety.

It's funny, I've been thinking about this lately for some reason. Maybe because of the book I'm currently reading "on the road"(even though it's fiction).

I'm not too worried about my safety though. I probably wouldn't pick up any hitchhikers although people rarely seem to do that anymore anyway.

I'd rather take the trip with someone but still I wouldn't mind doing it by myself since I have traveled great distances by myself already anyway.

 

[ardour]

People arrange to meet in those areas. It's not necessarily that they're having lunch with a group of friends every day.

 

[Bebeskii]

Hello Dexter! I'm in my last year of high school and I've been eating lunch alone in school canteen for two years. I have no friends in high school and my classmates treat me like an acquaintance. I feel kinda sad when i eat and sit alone. Sometimes I even daydream that I'm eating together and having a nice conversion with my close friends. Thoughts about eating lunch alone almost come to my mind whenever I have my lunch at school and I usually ignore. I do not try to sit next to other people because they sometimes say to me that they want to sit next to with someone else not me, or they just say that the seat is occupied. This used to bother me but now I have a lunch alone and try to read my books or just ignore it, though I feel lonely sometimes. And I can totally relate Dexter! I'm giving you a big hug

 

[Tiina63]

Hi Dexter, I remember sometimes eating alone when I was a university student in the 1980's and Ifound it difficult. I would feel ok walking into the canteen and while getting my meal and going to sit down, but gradually I would start to feel that people were looking at me and wondering why I was alone while they were in groups. I would get more and more paranoid, thinking that they were thinking I was a loser, that there was something wrong with me etc. After eating, I would leave the canteen feeling really worthless and depressed.

 

[andyluvsfilms]

Eating alone in public or even going for a coffee is the one thing im a bit icky about so i normally just flick through a newspaper which seems to negate any feelings of sad lonely loser haha

 

[ladyforsaken]

You know what? I can relate. I don't always eat alone when I do eat but most times, yes. Like today, lunch was provided at work, I was eating alone while everyone else were in their cliques chatting and laughing away.. I don't really know how to feel about that but I was okay with it lol. I guess I don't really care? People gossip too much and makes me waste more time just hearing them do that while eating.

 

[lonelyfairy]

You're not the only one. I was always eating lunch alone at school, but with some time I got used to it. It's boring... And felt embarrassing at first, but now it's okey.

 

[SofiasMami]

I travelled once across the US by car alone.

I would love to do something like that, but I would be too worried about my safety.

You should try it
I did it in 1999 without a cell phone and personal GPS didn't exist then. I was only on the road during the day though

-Teresa

 

[ardour]

I don't actually like eating in front of people..

 

[Triple Bogey]

I am always walking around by myself. I usually go into a shop and take something away with me. I don't usually use cafe's. Because of the reasons mentioned in this thread.

 

[Dexter]

Thanks for your answers so far, at least I am not the only one like this.

I could of course get my food somewhere else (like some mentioned) and don't have to sit there between all these people. But the university's canteen is a fast and cheap way to get a good lunch and I don't want to miss that just because I have to go there alone.[/quote]

 

[Drama]

Personally I prefer to have lunch alone when im at the university. I decline offers to join my classmates. I guess it's because I'm used to it, and I dont feel comfortable with others.