How bad is your loneliness?

[Solace]

How much of your life does it effect? Every aspect? How often do you find yourself feeling lonely?

Do you ever cry about it? How much? What's the worst part about being lonely? What is one big reason you think you are lonely? When is the time when you are most lonely, or is it about the same? The time when you are least lonely?

Is there anything you can do about it?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

For me it was more of a feeling of being alone, disconnected, discontent, despair, confussion and many other
feelings all bundled up. The worst part about it is..I seek releave but nothing I do will remove that pain.
When i get like that...it's a visouse cycle becuase I rather not be around anyone and isolate.
I don't want pity...Pity makes me feel more like crap. I'm very vaulital when I'm in that state...
In other words I'm very sensitive. I don't think clearly. Anything can set me off or trigger a lot
emotions inside of me and I'll react not so good...which is why I don't want to be around people when
I'm in that state of being...I know I'm not WELL and all torn up on the inside...but on the outside
I look like any normal person.

I also get into a phase where I wished not to be touched, fixed, or spoken to...
Bascailly in a nutzshell....Leave me the fresia alone. Let me drown in my own fucken misery and pains.
When i want help I'll ask for help or I'll let you fucken know.
A sick insane attitude with a sort of chip on my shoulders.
Mellow drammatic is what some people term it.

Yes i cry about it....that's when the healing begins.
Sometimes I have to sit still, process and feel everything.
Sometimes i wish it can all get remove from me in one session...but it dosn't happen that way for me.
My anxieties come in waves.

I have a alot of deep personal issues I had to work through...feeling alone is just a by product, symtoms.
To get to the root of my problems...I had to face my deamon or fears.
Wheather they be truama, abused, abandonment, grieving, hate....etc.
Open up a can of worms...
Get honest with myself...call a spade for a spade. No longer living in denial.
Peel the layers of pains, guilt, shames, insanity from with inside of me.
Romove the pains and sorrows out of me...wheather it be my faults or the fualts of others.
It dosn't matter...The blame game is over. Time to clean house.
Clear my heart and mind. Release, let go, forgive...whatever gets me to piont of BEING WELL.

I stay honest, open and willing.

I read a lot and write alot...that's one of the reasons why my post are long...
It's thraputic of me in many ways
I reach out to people and ask for help..(after i sat in my own honeysuckle for a while to have had enough of my pains.)
I follow simple instructions. My sponsor is an MD...he's not going to hurt me or used me..I build my trust again.
I attend my support groups...at first I hated it...I hated being around humans or anyone. I was comfortiable
of being disconnected. Slowly I allow more people into my life.

For me...It's always the love of GOD that's healed me and carried me through everything in my life.
When I allow GOD into my life...I don't feel empty , lonely , lost or hurted.
That's my experience, that's my belief, that's my truth...That's what works for me.

I don't think others should have to belive in GOD or an HP.
Do what works for you.

No it's not the same as when I'm well...
I have a lot of good memories and experiences in my life..Or being WLL
They out wieght the bad times.
I simply just need to sit down and write about them or make a list of them.

My life wasn't all bad..it never was. I need to remember that when I get depressed or feel lonely.
This help counter balance or get's me out of a rut of having negative thoughts.

lets see...some of my joyfull moments.
My youngest step duaghter ( 6 years old at the time)and I stood in line again to get on Space mountain.
We both having a blast...laughing and joking around just being ourslves.

The moments Sheryl and I would have water guns fight or throw confetie all over the house
Wrestle each other on the living floor being little kids...as our childred stands there and say...
"Errr ?..mommy and daddy...you guys are wierd".lmao

Or when I used to haul ass home during lunch just to go have sex with my wife

Or the day my daughter was borned ..As much as my wife and I were having problems
That day was a speccial day..We both stopped fighting each other and just held and love our child.

Or the day my wife just decided to lean back into me and let me hold her as she was changing the baby.
Even though her mom was threaten me and sayng all kinds of bullshit 5 mins before.
Michelle loves me inspite of all that bullshit. She was being herself as was I in that moment and fresia
what anybody thinks...

Or the day the my best friend and 2 other friends ditch work all day.
We left the crew in charge...lmao (it's nice to be the boss)
We went goat kart racing for the enitre day and had a great time.
My friend spund me out on the frist race...On the next race, I T boned his ass
I saw the frighten look in his eyes as I slammed my pedal to the metal..lmao

As a child ...even though i didn't have a great relationship with my father.
My father used to take me fishing almost every weekend.
When my father build me a couple of models rockets and took me to go luanch them.
When my father sat down and taught me how to make my first chord on my guitar.

When I used to rush to my mother...waiting for her to come home from work.
No matter how tired she was..she picked me up and pulled a toy out of her basket for me.

Even today. I spent 10 mins playing with a 3 year old kid.
She made me laugh the entire time...I could barely understand her speach at first but after I slowed
down , i was able to comprehend her baby talk. She was playing guess what i have in my hand..lmao
I kicked her behind her knees to make her legs buckle...
She turned around and kicked me over and over again...lmao
Her mom is a hawty

I never thought I was totally losing it to begin with anyways when my life took a trun for fun..lmao
In the back of my mind ...i knew I'd come out of it eventually.
I took whatever i was going through as a journey or chapter in my life...
Yes..my ass did fall off.

Life is a trip...that's my attitude or general attitude.

 

[heretostay]

my loneliness isnt that bad right now actually. sometimes i cry because of it but thats usually only if ive had repeated nightmares or something. im most lonely at night, i could care less during the day. ive been trying to get myself to go to church.

 

[Athiest #001]

bad enough that I am willing to spend time with someone who will undoubtedly rip my heart out repeatedly

 

[Van Hooligan X]

Well in reality i'm lonely lol

I'm not exactly good with women so i can foresee my lonely future.

No worries though, imma hide it with lulz, having 400 Ewifes and saying powah instead of power.

 

[SophiaGrace]

at it's peak, my loneliness causes me to feel inhuman and gives me panic attacks. I've had times when I've looked at people and they seemed so foreign that it made me burst out into tears (reference: when I first arrived at College).

I still battle with trying to relate to people offline. I find that things I can say online I cant say offline so that causes a big disconnect for me. I want someone to confide in offline. Someone who actually seems to care, and doesnt just listen and then we dont talk for weeks. That's awkward.

So until I can speak my mind, or I figure out how human relationships work offline, I'm going to experiance bouts of loneliness.

 

[catwixen]

It has made me an alcoholic. In fact I was trying to not drink until saturday, but someone was drinking on another forum I frequent, and i was so desparate to join in, I broke my bargain with myself and started drinking. Now they are about to go to bed, and i have the whole night ahead all charged up.
And no alcohol for my birthday on saturday. I don't even know, if people in my life would change this anyway...sorry i am dribbling.

 

[Oceanmist23]

When I joined the forum I was very lonely. I was in a crappy situation. The type of relationship I had at the time was holding me back from doing anything good with my life as well as the fact that I was with the wrong person, and therefore it was holding me back from being happy.
I used to cry, quite often really, especially last year cos I felt that it wasn't working, yet I was afraid to end it, thinking I'd become even more lonely if I did.
The worst part of being lonely for me was the quietness, the feeling of being stuck, and because I shouldn't feel lonely when in a relationship. That's not who I am nor who I want to be.
The times I was most lonely was when it was uber quiet in my neighbourhood and also when I saw that the girl who used to rent the flat next to mine would get visitors or go to visit someone, cos it happened all the time. Nearly every day. Also, of course, during family gatherings where everyone was with their partner and I was stuck there alone. Those were crappy times. Especially Christmas.
The times I was least lonely was when I was out having a good time with sis or visiting my parents. Also when I had pampering days.

I don't think I'm lonely any more. I haven't had that loneliness feeling in quite some time. I miss my BF when I don't talk to him, but it doesn't make me feel lonely. I wish I had some friends to hang out with, but it doesn't depress me like it used to. I'm no longer constantly negative about things like getting a job for example. I know now where I want to get one, what type of job I want and I have a much higher drive to get one now because of what it will mean when I do.

 

[Solace]

Sophia, I know how that is. wanting someone to confide in.

Lonesome crow, i'm glad you've found something that helps you.

Ocean, it's great that you're not relaly lonely anymore. it's a hard thing to deal with

and anyway guys. heheh, I dunno, I didn't expect any answers, it was really just to get people thinking but it looks ike I have! so that's good.

 

[Wishtobemyself]

It changes my perspective of seeing things, and also affects my emotion (moodswings all the time), also health. Guess that's pretty much shows ho bad it is.

 

[Flood]

I'm usually ok with loneliness or at least I can forget about it for long periods of time. It's only when I'm reminded of how isolated I've become, like being at family gatherings or being invited to a social setting outside of work by coworkers, that I see how empty my life is. This in turn makes me want to isolate myself even further.

 

[breakthecycle]

Very bad lol..

Well I don't know, being unemployed, 18 year old virgin, no friends. Oh my I'm just doing "great"
But the sad thing is that nobody can help me, I just get alot of pity and that's it, however I don't know what to do about it.

Is it even possible to break the loneliness? you know what, fresia it I don't care.

 

[Leatherbadge]

Loneliness.

Sophia said she, at times, feels “inhuman”. I don’t know what that means, exactly, but I sometimes wish I were inhuman. It is all too human to seek companionship, and when met with none, lose grip of reality – or, at the very least, a healthy state of mind and reasonable composure (I fear I have neither at the moment). It proves a very heavy burden. Right now, I find myself locked in the maw of a very spontaneous, very acute depression. It started just today. Or was it the day before? I can’t remember.

I gather it popped up to complement my loneliness of late, in any event. Before recently, it so happened I had people to talk to. But, people come and go. It seems I'm the only one actually standing still. I recall feeling like honeysuckle before their coming, and alas, I feel just the same right afterward! But, for their brief company, I thank them. No, I don’t cry about it, and I imagine I’d feel more pitiful about myself had I made that a habit. I cry about other things, sure, but loneliness? No. What worries me is – after reading over others’ replies, not only in this thread but others concerning the matter – wondering if I’ll be cursed by lonesomeness forever. It wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t have a habit of siring depression, suicide, and (arguably obvious, by way of the latter) a degree of . . . well, insanity.

I, for one, do not require (or perhaps I do, but then again, how should I know, having never really had much) offline companionship. Nay, the half-hearted, artificial company of the written word is, and has been, enough for me. To that end, my loneliness is quelled rather easily. Yet, even that proves difficult to find. But I find it right here, you may rightly correct me! Well, maybe I’m a bit picky, but I’ve relied on IM (not forums, though I mean no harm to any forum-lubbers) ever since the third grade for the better half of my social life, and still find it excellent in supplementing that half (providing I have people to talk with, of course). There’s chat here, sure! And I’ve milked it for all it was worth, but it appears there are some who have grown a dislike for my presence there, and, being there before I’ve joined, I felt right in leaving. ¬_¬ That and, there always are a number of those unpleasant to talk to ‘en mass’ regardless of their standing. X3

But, enough voluminous dribble. Let’s answer those ten questions:

How much of your life does it effect? Every aspect? How often do you find yourself feeling lonely?

Do you ever cry about it? How much? What's the worst part about being lonely? What is one big reason you think you are lonely? When is the time when you are most lonely, or is it about the same? The time when you are least lonely?

Is there anything you can do about it?

Why, yes, every aspect. Realizing one’s isolation, he/she is somewhat haunted by it no matter their choice of distraction.

I find myself lonely all the time, save when I have someone to talk to.

Never cried about it, for it would only make me feel lonelier.

The worst part of it? Why, feeling so lonely!

Why am I lonely? None to talk to – at least, as far as I’ve gathered. >.>

When am I most lonely? Right now, for instance, in the absence of any worldly task and what I presume some surge of nasty chemicals in the ol’ limbic system (or wherever it is).

I’m least lonely in the middle of an exhilarating conversation, such as commiserating of ex-girlfriends or arguing over the supremacy of Warcraft over DnD, and so on. =3

Why, yes, I’m positive there are things I can do about it. “Why don’t you?” Oh – not fair. I mean, look at yourself, disembodied, blatant inquirer! Spending good time reading all my pretentious drivel, and whatnot.

(NOTE: If you happen to be in a position of absolute powerlessness over your solitude, such as being bedridden or having suffered head trauma rendering you to all but an inert vegetable, please forgive my rank insensitivity!)

 

[Solace]

Well since everyone else has answered my rhetorical questions so detailed, I might as well.

(Was it ten questions? that makes me happy. it's an even number and I didn't even count them or try to make it an even number yah i'm a dork)

It effects all of my life, though there are moments I can push the thoughts aside and have a normal moment or two. I try not to think about or my eyes begin to sting and water. I am more lonely at night than any other time of day, there is an absence so strong... someone is missing.

I guess i'm least lonely when i'm busy doing something and I don't think about it? When I am creating something. I feel most lonely when I realize i have no one to show it to. I think i'm the kind of person who needs an audience.

I don't know what I can do about it. I spend time with my family and my friends but it doesnt' seem to chase away the loneliness. It's like grief. It's something so big I can't get around. Everything else seems small compared to the fact that I am alone.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'm feelin a little lonely at the moment but i know it's not going to last forever.

I just feel it for whatever it is and not fight it anymore.
Sometimes my emotions are so mixed up...it's a combination of everything.
Every overwhelming

Maybe it's just another anixety attack or depression attack.
I don't fight my emotions anymore.
I used to, but it became too draining.

I did the HALT thing

I'll just chill until it passes

mmm...honeysuckle I know what it is...i saw my ex-gf tonight.
fresia it anyway...I hate this freaken town
Anyway...another incentive for me to get my honeysuckle together and get the fresia away.

 

[ledchick]

I am incredibly lonely right now...have been all day.. if it weren't for you all on here I would be out in the yard talking with the **** wildlife and the ******* cows in the field.
I haven't been crying the last few weeks but today a ******* stupid commercial is making me sob1 fresia! I hate it! I have been so lonely, that I have been calling places, like the grocery store etc., places that have pissed me off, just to ***** about whatever has made me mad at the moment. Hell I even called my lawyer and had a talk with him. He atleast sounded a bit interested....mostly because he is concerned about my mental state....
Usually when I am at my worst I dont come here to the forum but there is no one home and I am pretty much out of my mind and have been for a few days and the ******* drugs dont work anymore!

 

[ledchick]

I'm feelin a little lonely at the moment but i know it's not going to last forever.

I just feel it for whatever it is and not fight it anymore.
Sometimes my emotions are so mixed up...it's a combination of everything.
Every overwhelming

Maybe it's just another anixety attack or depression attack.
I don't fight my emotions anymore.
I used to, but it became too draining.

I did the HALT thing

I'll just chill until it passes

mmm...honeysuckle I know what it is...i saw my ex-gf tonight.
fresia it anyway...I hate this freaken town
Anyway...another incentive for me to get my honeysuckle together and get the fresia away.

I can relate Lonesome, I care about you and I really like you and the way you just put it out there! A big ******* HUG FOR YOU!

 

[Haven]

I hate talking to my family about my problems because they never understand all they can do is criticize me or look at me with pity. Its a lot easier to for me to hold it inside.

 

[Skorian]

I am not lonely or depressed at all. I am very used to my own company, doing my own thing, and being on my own. Now months and months ago I was having problems thanks to the 5 or so years of drinking 100's of gallons of distilled water, and what that did to me, but I have since almost completely recovered. Once I recovered enough to pull my honeysuckle together, I quickly put an end to the problem. So when I found this site I guess I was lonely, but now I don't dwell on such things. Feeling scared or sorry for ones self is self-defeating. I am more in a dilemma of what to do with my time. Annoyed at the moment at how slowly a sprained muscle heals.

 

[Naval_Fluff]

I'm depressed in the morning. Before I take my meds. I hate them tho! They make me so **** numb! My personality just goes POOF after I take them. As for lonliness...I have my videogames, and the internet, and the hope of getting a car soon keeps me goin..