How can serial killers get girlfriends but "nice guys" can't?

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

That is a quite broad generalization. I have lots of charming friends who aren't psychopaths or murderers.

I didn't say that most charismatic people are psychopaths, I said that most psychopaths are also charismatic. Obviously not all, there are different types of psychopaths. But the majority do possess charisma, yes.

Oh, I understand you now. And I agree.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Most good people are bullied by people who aren't good, because they have dominance. And a lot of flawed women flock to that dominance, thinking that they can give them everything.

(no)

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Most good people are bullied by people who aren't good, because they have dominance. And a lot of flawed women flock to that dominance, thinking that they can give them everything.

(no)

Nevermind. I will get into another argument. It's not worth it.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Most good people are bullied by people who aren't good, because they have dominance. And a lot of flawed women flock to that dominance, thinking that they can give them everything.

(no)

Nevermind. I will get into another argument. It's not worth it.

Assertive =/= Dominant

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Most good people are bullied by people who aren't good, because they have dominance. And a lot of flawed women flock to that dominance, thinking that they can give them everything.

(no)

Nevermind. I will get into another argument. It's not worth it.

Assertive =/= Dominant

Win.

Correction...most good, non assertive people are bullied by people who aren't good, because they are assertive.

You just made me think, Sophia. Thank you for that.

And as far as good people...I'm talking about people who are insecure but kind hearted. These seem to go hand in hand. I'm not arguing that there are people who are incredibly secure in themselves, and are good people themselves, but people who are insecure but have good hearts tend to be treated terribly by people who are secure but don't have good hearts.

 

[EveWasFramed]

(twitch)

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Eve, someone who is kind but naive can't be bullied by someone who is extremely outgoing and has a mean streak? Those are called bullies. I have encountered them, they are pretty nasty, and they are the reason for my therapy.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Eve, someone who is kind but naive can't be bullied by someone who is extremely outgoing and has a mean streak? Those are called bullies. I have encountered them, they are pretty nasty, and they are the reason for my therapy.

Yes, I know what a bully is, Muse.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I wasn't trying to insult you.

Overall, I just feel shitty now. I can't debate without getting my feelings hurt. I probably get defensive, because it's either be defensive, or get hurt.

 

[ardour]

.... tragedy on the forums.



So Game of Thrones season 3 as good as season 2, anyone?

 

[VanillaCreme]

I wasn't trying to insult you.

Overall, I just feel shitty now. I can't debate without getting my feelings hurt. I probably get defensive, because it's either be defensive, or get hurt.

Perhaps debating is always called for. Someone commenting on something isn't always an open door for that. Just saying.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I wasn't trying to insult you.

Overall, I just feel shitty now. I can't debate without getting my feelings hurt. I probably get defensive, because it's either be defensive, or get hurt.

Perhaps debating is always called for. Someone commenting on something isn't always an open door for that. Just saying.

Just wanted to add to this that if people didn't care they wouldn't bother replying, even if it isn't always something you want to hear or comes off mean or insulting. They just want to help.

 

[Iceman1978]

It blows my mind. When Ted Bundy was on death row received around 200 letters a day from girls professing their love to him. Newsflash, he killed over 30 women in a 4 year time period! The same goes for Gary Ridgway. He killed even more women and still found a way to get married 3 different times!

Those are just the most notorious American serial killers. I am sure there are plenty of other killers around the world who had the "charm" to attract women. And then there are nice guys like me who are a bit shy at times, but would never hurt a woman at all if she would just gave me a chance!

Note, this a thread of me trying to bash and criticize women. If anything, it is more of a thread of me being jealous that convicted murderers apparently have something I don't have that attracts women.

This is something that I've never been able to figure out either. Psychologists would refer to this as the Bonnie & Clyde syndrome.

Joran van der Sloot is another example. He murdered a woman in Peru, and many people believe that he also murdered Natalie Holloway in Aruba. Yet despite all of this, he was receiving love letters as he sat in jail. The same thing happened with Timothy McVeigh, and even today there are women who gathered outside the courthouse in Boston holding up signs wanting the Boston bomber to be released.

Then you have women who remain in abusive relationships. One night while on patrol we responded to a domestic violence case. As we approached these people's sailboat we could hear them shouting at each other. While we're trying to speak with them to find out what was going on the guys wife was standing up for him, even though she was still crying. We decided to bring both of them back to shore and hand him over to the police. The guys wife was picked up by a friend and later showed up at the police station within an hour to bail him out of jail.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Then you have women who remain in abusive relationships. One night while on patrol we responded to a domestic violence case. As we approached these people's sailboat we could hear them shouting at each other. While we're trying to speak with them to find out what was going on the guys wife was standing up for him, even though she was still crying. We decided to bring both of them back to shore and hand him over to the police. The guys wife was picked up by a friend and later showed up at the police station within an hour to bail him out of jail.

Women - or guys, since it's not biased to gender - tend to stay in abusive relationships because they feel like they have no other option or choice. Many of them feel like they have no where to go, even if they're surrounded by loving, caring family and friends. It's more of a mental and an emotional hold back than anything else. And I think that mental/emotional attachment is what keeps many women stuck in a loop.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I've seen so many of my friends get into abusive situations. Guys AND girls.

I don't understand it. These are nice people. It seems like the nicer you are, the more likely you are to attract a total *******. Makes me worry about who I'll end up settling down with.

 

[Bones]

BINGO!

I stayed in my marriage because I had to wait for the right time to ensure I had a high probability of getting custody of my daughter.

What did I endure?

~ Getting kicked in between the legs when doing dishes or not paying attention
~ Nails dug into both arms until it bleed - still have scars from it on my hand & arms
~ Plagiarization of the Lorena Bobbitt saga, but woke up in time & slept with one eye open thereafter per say
~ Getting hit with metal items when not paying attention
~ Getting almost stabbed with a knife several times
~ Etc

She knew that I could not retaliate because I wanted custody of my daughter.

I had more gray hair between the ages of 28 to 30 than I do now at age 45.

...

Women - or guys, since it's not biased to gender - tend to stay in abusive relationships because they feel like they have no other option or choice. Many of them feel like they have no where to go, even if they're surrounded by loving, caring family and friends. It's more of a mental and an emotional hold back than anything else. And I think that mental/emotional attachment is what keeps many women stuck in a loop.

 

[Runciter]

@Bones
For being able to put up with such abuse for the sake of your daughter, you have my respect.

 

[Bones]

^Thanks

TBH, I do not think I could do it all over again - it was extremely hard - I never said anything bad about her to my daughter - when my daughter talked to her half-sister for a couple a months two or three years ago (the only contact she has had with them), my daughter knew for sure no one was joking around when she overheard us by accident - her half sister told her about the abuse she went through; and on top of it all, she never told her husband nor the other children about my daughter which is not a bad thing - kept down on the drama.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Wow Bones, that's awful. You have my respect, too.

Every abusive person should be kept away from the general population, I say. We don't need weed smokers and piracy thieves in prison, we need domestic violence cases.

 

[Iceman1978]

Wow Bones, that's awful. You have my respect, too.

Every abusive person should be kept away from the general population, I say. We don't need weed smokers and piracy thieves in prison, we need domestic violence cases.

Amen to that!