Hello there. Prepare yourself for a super-sized post, and don't take anything as a personal attack. Lets begin.
Firstly, for people to hate you, they have to care about you or the issue of concern (about you) to an extent. 'Hate' is a word often over-used. You'd need to tell people a bit more about a few details in your life if you want more accurate advice from anyone here. However, from what you've wrote above, I can give you some advice right now:
Have some self-respect.
You need to learn to respect yourself first before anybody can truly start to respect and appreciate you. This is difficult (but not impossible) if you are deeply seeded in the habit of avoiding confrontation, and not knowing how to say 'No' to someone when they want something from you. A lack of self-confidence and respect is responsible for this. While you may or may not have much in your life to be proud of, you must understand the power of self-acceptance, and learning to say no to things -you- don't want. Learning to say no to things you don't have to do for people to get by is practically the first step in self-respect as it is.
Try and find the positive things about yourself instead of focusing on your own weaknesses, because we all have them. Even the people you've come to hate for making you feel alienated and different have weaknesses, they've just learned not to show it and are fortunate enough to have superior social skills. Social skills can't be taught, only experience with others can teach them to you.. however I know how difficult this step in itself is when only a handful of people have the time of day to listen to what you're saying and show genuine interest or concern in you. As soon as I invent a device to wake modern civilization up from their apathy towards those around them, you'll be the first to know about it. (Note: The previous sentence is ripe for parody.)
Changing behavioral habits are exceptionally difficult and take will-power, but you will notice that you find it easier as you do it, and your mind will thank you for giving it a little extra liberty (since it's so obviously imprisoned within your self-doubt, anger, and anxiety towards society and the world).
You are lost within your mind and it's woes, and have forgotten all about the beauty of life outside what your mind tells you. You've forgotten how to enjoy and appreciate it, as have a good chunk of the world's population, and it's not surprising considering the amount of stress you endure and things you need to do just to survive in the world of today. Outdoor hobbies always make you feel better from my experiences. Ever thought about Photography? Looking through the lens of a camera helps you concentrate on what you're trying to take a picture of, and the more you take pictures of scenery and purdy things, the more you appreciate it's beauty and the better you feel about life. This worked well for people I've spoken to. Even I got a little enjoyment out of it when I tried, up until the point I dropped my camera on a rock.
You also have to learn to let go of things that just aren't important enough to lose sleep over. I'm well aware of the difficulty of the advice I've provided you.. but reading what you've said and the replies you've gotten from it, it seems like changing your over-reacting ways is compulsory for you if you are to ever settle with friends. And you will, in due time, if that's what you really desire.
I wouldn't bother telling people that you have no friends. It portrays like a person trying to gain a sympathy vote. Even if this isn't your intention, that's how it comes across to the general populace. Even if you have no friends, so what? I don't, either, and I live on my own, yet I've learnt to adjust, and taught myself (through simple observation) that I don't -need- anyone in my life caring about me to survive. Just the rescources modern society provides. Bring in a nuclear war or peak oil, however, and I might need to start kissing some backside and making some chummies again to keep ticking...
Just because you don't have friends it does not mean you are a person to be shunned and disregarded. Do not judge yourself so harshly, even if you have been burnt in the past by people putting you down for 'having no friends'. They are not worthy of your time and thought, and nor are they aware that you lose sleep at night due to their actions. They didn't care, so why should you? Disempower those thoughts eating you alive about how inadequate you are. Find that inner strength and start using it to learn to let go of unneeded stress in your life. Start by telling yourself that those thoughts plaguing your mind all the time are just that - thoughts, and nothing more. Also, practice diverting your attention and concentration to something you enjoy any time you are approached with a situation that gets you wound-up (anxious) and that you know deep-down, don't want/need to stress about.
I realize how bad you must feel, as I (believe it or not) have been there, done that. I also realize that I am not you, and will never feel what you feel, but that goes without saying. It's tragic to hear you are suffering, and I hope what I wrote above helped you, even if only a tiny portion of the post. Do not see any of it as an attack - rather, the constructive criticism that you wanted. I can respect what I can relate to, and I can relate to the outcry of anger and desperation I saw in your post. Please keep in mind that happiness starts from within, and as long as you've still got some feelings burning within you, you've still got a good shot at turning your chronic negative emotions into chronic positive ones.
If you like, feel free to message me so we can talk more.
Before I end, may I ask what disability you have? Hopefully not something that could prevent you from exercising, as the more you move around, the better you feel for it. Human beings weren't meant to be the stationary objects we appear to be today in front of our computers. Our bodies are (for the most part) very resilient for a good reason - we're meant to be active. This can be seen in all creatures - The less they move, the more depressed they become.
Good luck with your life's challenges. Hope I've helped in one way or another.
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