How do you all deal with Anger?

[TheSkaFish]

I kinda get what you mean. Sounds like your 'problem with bad boys' amounts to these emotions: Jealousy, anger, fear and insecurity.

It's when you don't feel on top of the situation that your emotions take control of you. Work with your confidence perhaps? Be a 'bad boy' yourself.

I can relate to what you're telling, sadly.

No, it's just anger. I don't WANT to be like them at all. I don't want their image, don't want their lifestyle, don't want their things, none of it. I just want to be able to compete against such a person in life and never lose again. That's all.

 

[Oldyoung]

No one stands up to them, calls them out, or even sees them for what they are. I've had enough.

Why are you jealous of them? What do they have that you don't?

 

[TheSkaFish]

What have they done, except have worked to become what you want yourself to be? You're not really angry, just jealous, and now you're posting things of a questionable nature about how you're going to deal with your perceived inferiority.

Work? You mean drinking, doing drugs, and posturing around making sure everyone sees you as a "thug"? Wow! That's some hard work!

Like I said I'm not at all jealous. Just disgusted.

---

No one stands up to them, calls them out, or even sees them for what they are. I've had enough.

Why are you jealous of them? What do they have that you don't?

Not jealous of them. For the last time. I just hate it when bad people get good treatment. What do they have that I don't? A free pass to get whatever they want in life, while a normal person gets nothing but resistance.

Imagine if a certain type of person got to cut in line in front of you. Everywhere. If you have something, they get to take it. If you want something, it's reserved for them, not you, and getting there first doesn't matter. If there's a good version of something, it's also reserved for them, and all you get is the crummy regular version. And there's nothing you can do about it. And worse? They actually aren't special. They don't do anything really to earn such status. It's just because they look and act a certain way, they get first class treatment. You, on the other hand, are told to just suck it up and make due with coach. For the rest of your life.

 

[Oldyoung]

Not jealous of them. For the last time. I just hate it when bad people get good treatment.

If you weren't jealous, you wouldn't care. You feel inferior to them? You need to find out why, and get around that somehow.

Sorry mate, this all reeks of envy.

Find people who approve of your values, or drop your values. Perhaps you could loosen up a bit, and feel better.

 

[TheSkaFish]

If you weren't jealous, you wouldn't care. You feel inferior to them? You need to find out why, and get around that somehow.

Sorry mate, this all reeks of envy.

If you are in competition with someone, do you envy them or do you just want to beat them?

 

[PieBeNice]

What have they done, except have worked to become what you want yourself to be? You're not really angry, just jealous, and now you're posting things of a questionable nature about how you're going to deal with your perceived inferiority.

Work? You mean drinking, doing drugs, and posturing around making sure everyone sees you as a "thug"? Wow! That's some hard work!

Like I said I'm not at all jealous. Just disgusted.

---

No one stands up to them, calls them out, or even sees them for what they are. I've had enough.

Why are you jealous of them? What do they have that you don't?

Not jealous of them. For the last time. I just hate it when bad people get good treatment. What do they have that I don't? A free pass to get whatever they want in life, while a normal person gets nothing but resistance.

Imagine if a certain type of person got to cut in line in front of you. Everywhere. If you have something, they get to take it. If you want something, it's reserved for them, not you, and getting there first doesn't matter. If there's a good version of something, it's also reserved for them, and all you get is the crummy regular version. And there's nothing you can do about it. And worse? They actually aren't special. They don't do anything really to earn such status. It's just because they look and act a certain way, they get first class treatment. You, on the other hand, are told to just suck it up and make due with coach. For the rest of your life.

---

You really think people get things for being "bad"? Can you give examples that you've actually observed this happening please. You're right, if a guy looks a certain way he's going to be playing life on easy mode but that's independent of actions. Explains.

 

[Oldyoung]

If you are in competition with someone, do you envy them or do you just want to beat them?

Envy and anger is very related.

Get a punching bag. It's important to find some outlet that does no harm to anyone. (Including yourself, since trouble usually comes back to haunt you)

 

[TheSkaFish]

You really think people get things for being "bad"? Can you give examples that you've actually observed this happening please. You're right, if a guy looks a certain way he's going to be playing life on easy mode but that's independent of actions. Explains.

I think so. Especially with women but also with any social interaction, really. If you have the "bad" image, you don't have to have substance. And you get to pass over people with substance but who don't have, or want, image.

It's kind of like working at a company, but your boss is an incompetent idiot, terrible worker, and you are much more qualified than them. But hey, they're the boss' son. So they make 3 times as much as you despite working 1/3 as hard and knowing 1/3 of what's even going on. When you make an error, you get chewed out and called an idiot and threatened with getting fired. When they make a mistake, it's like, what mistake? Even when it's 10 times as bad as anything you've ever done.

 

[PieBeNice]

You really think people get things for being "bad"? Can you give examples that you've actually observed this happening please. You're right, if a guy looks a certain way he's going to be playing life on easy mode but that's independent of actions. Explains.

I think so. Especially with women but also with any social interaction, really. If you have the "bad" image, you don't have to have substance. And you get to pass over people with substance but who don't have, or want, image.

It's kind of like working at a company, but your boss is an incompetent idiot, terrible worker, and you are much more qualified than them. But hey, they're the boss' son. So they make 3 times as much as you despite working 1/3 as hard and knowing 1/3 of what's even going on. When you make an error, you get chewed out and called an idiot and threatened with getting fired. When they make a mistake, it's like, what mistake? Even when it's 10 times as bad as anything you've ever done.

Can you give specific examples where you've observed these things. Actual experiences where a person's behaviour has changed how they're treated.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Can you give specific examples where you've observed these things. Actual experiences where a person's behaviour has changed how they're treated.

Every single time with women when it actually counts, without fail, where I'm getting to know them and we're having stuff in common and are really conversing and meshing and all the sudden some "bad boy" comes along and that's that. Every time. Idk if it changes how they are treated, but I go from being highly valued to being thrown out like yesterday's newspaper. Just like that. It doesn't matter how long I've known them for or how well we mesh. Every time without fail.

I'd just like to know what I need to do so the next time it happens, it's like, NOT TODAY, ******. I really don't want this happening again.

 

[Lowlander]

I've constantly seen shallow-minded responses and no actual examples, SkaFish. Could you give a specific example?

 

[TheSkaFish]

I've constantly seen shallow-minded responses and no actual examples, SkaFish. Could you give a specific example?

I don't know, my whole life? There isn't just one specific example. It's a long-running, ongoing problem.

We're actually drifting away from the issue though, which is not actually the problem itself but what to do about the volatile anger that results from the problem. A solution would be great but I think my temper is going to flare up many times as the problem continues to repeat itself, before I arrive at any sort of solution.

 

[PieBeNice]

Can you give specific examples where you've observed these things. Actual experiences where a person's behaviour has changed how they're treated.

Every single time with women when it actually counts, without fail, where I'm getting to know them and we're having stuff in common and are really conversing and meshing and all the sudden some "bad boy" comes along and that's that. Every time. Idk if it changes how they are treated, but I go from being highly valued to being thrown out like yesterday's newspaper. Just like that. It doesn't matter how long I've known them for or how well we mesh. Every time without fail.

I'd just like to know what I need to do so the next time it happens, it's like, NOT TODAY, ******. I really don't want this happening again.

Every woman? Really? Every single one is unnattracted to you because you're not as awful as some other person?

 

[TheSkaFish]

Every woman? Really? Every single one is unnattracted to you because you're not as awful as some other person?

Believe it or not, so far, that has been the case. Because I'm not as "cool", or "hard" or "macho". And as a result it's made me very, very angry.

 

[PieBeNice]

Every woman? Really? Every single one is unnattracted to you because you're not as awful as some other person?

Believe it or not, so far, that has been the case. Because I'm not as "cool", or "hard" or "macho". And as a result it's made me very, very angry.

Who are you angry at? Just the men? Surely if what you describe is true its the women that are treating you differently and they are responsible?

 

[TheSkaFish]

Who are you angry at? Just the men? Surely if what you describe is true its the women that are treating you differently and they are responsible?

Well, it's the men that cause the women to suddenly change. Without them, things were fine. Then all the sudden the wheels fall off. They are why. They're not good people. And it makes me angry. My guess is because we have this societal thing that "bad" is "cool" and that if you have your good times without breaking the law or putting up some kind of "hard" act, you're seen as boring, a goody-two-shoes. It angers me that all it takes is an image to dissolve any connection that was built up.

The specifics of it aren't the topic though. The point is, the thought of a certain group of people makes me very angry. I'm looking for ways to avoid being angry because this has happened many times in the past and I'm sure it will happen many times again. However, I don't want to go through the rest of my life this angry. I'm tired of just taking it and I want to do something about it to stop this situation from repeating over and over for the rest of my life.

Let me ask you something - why are you here? Why are you commenting on this if you have no desire to help me calm down? in fact, I find a lot of your answers kind of agitating in and of themselves. are you even trying to help here or what?

 

[Lowlander]

You could smoke a bowl, it tends to calm people down, or drink some chamomille tea. Are some relaxing medication. You could also change your view of the world, instead of being angry at everyone for no reason, you could just start with yourself and try to make something out of your life. There are more than just a handful of women on this planet, remember that.

 

[Rainbows]

You say you cannot legally do anything about it. Out of curiosity, what is it that you would do about it that you can't do legally? Are you going to go on a killing spree?

What would I do that I can't do legally? Well, take a baseball bat and beat the honeysuckle out of the nearest "bad boy", for starters. That's probably the only illegal thing I actually want to do. But man, would that ever be satisfying to watch them go from smugly grinning, on top of the world to broken, bloody, and dead. See, it's not just a dislike I have for those people. It's blown up to full-on hatred and it just gets worse by the day. I'd almost want to be a cop for the sole purpose of making life hell for people like that. But I don't want to spend my whole life living in reaction and I don't want to spend my time doing things that I don't truly like doing.

I'd just like to make sure I never lose anything, any scenario, even a penny or a blade of grass to some ****** like that ever again. Just beat them in every possible sense.

And, though somewhat separately, just be more in control of my life. Be someone who wouldn't have this happen in the first place.

Ska fish person. You say you don't like bad people or whatever. Then you post something saying you'd like to beat people with a baseball bat.

Do you not think your problems lie in the fact that you're actually an awful person?

Do you not think hating people who are just living their lives and aren't even aware that you exist is a douchey thing to do?

I like this trolling. You have my permission to continue.

what he said
& he's trying to help you.

 

[TheSkaFish]

You could smoke a bowl, it tends to calm people down, or drink some chamomille tea. Are some relaxing medication. You could also change your view of the world, instead of being angry at everyone for no reason, you could just start with yourself and try to make something out of your life. There are more than just a handful of women on this planet, remember that.

There's lots of everything in this world. But only a handful of that is actually desirable. This is the problem.

 

[PieBeNice]

Who are you angry at? Just the men? Surely if what you describe is true its the women that are treating you differently and they are responsible?

Well, it's the men that cause the women to suddenly change. Without them, things were fine. Then all the sudden the wheels fall off. They are why. They're not good people. And it makes me angry. My guess is because we have this societal thing that "bad" is "cool" and that if you have your good times without breaking the law or putting up some kind of "hard" act, you're seen as boring, a goody-two-shoes. It angers me that all it takes is an image to dissolve any connection that was built up.

The specifics of it aren't the topic though. The point is, the thought of a certain group of people makes me very angry. I'm looking for ways to avoid being angry because this has happened many times in the past and I'm sure it will happen many times again. However, I don't want to go through the rest of my life this angry. I'm tired of just taking it and I want to do something about it to stop this situation from repeating over and over for the rest of my life.

Let me ask you something - why are you here? Why are you commenting on this if you have no desire to help me calm down? in fact, I find a lot of your answers kind of agitating in and of themselves. are you even trying to help here or what?

I was trying to understand what exactly you're angry at and for what reason in a bit more detail. You can't fix a problem if you don't know enough about it.

What do you think will happen if you don't solve your anger issue?