How do you feel now compared to when you joined?

[Hazed]

I'm not sure. In a lot of ways i'm doing better. I have a great job, i have more people around me, etc etc. At the same time i still get very lonely, feels like more than back then. It's all on me and i'm aware of that. Somewhere along the way i lost most of the motivation to really make a difference. Now i get to it in short bursts and then just be absolutely useless. I feel like i have to do all of it alone, and have been doing so for years. That's probably the worst part.

What im scared of the most is that it'll be 2029 and i'll still be lonely and alone, at the end of the day all because of choices i made that i cant blame anyone else for, just more outwardly succesful and i guess more refined.

 

[Aardra]

Not great.

 

[RedT]

Not great.

Would say more but no point. The same.

 

[Aardra]

Not great.

Would say more but no point.  The same.

I came here hoping I'd changed and could maybe get along with people. But I think I need some more therapy before I start reaching out again.

Now's not the time.

 

[mgill]

things just keep slowly getting worse as the months & years pass by. i truly cannot even remember when i was last happy or content-if ever. each day is another one wasted being alone & unwanted and as the song goes- older, shorter of breath and one day closer to death. some people consider life to be a gift because they were fortunate enough to be born with the tools to succeed & thrive. for those of us who were cursed at birth with garbage genetics life is anything but and our existence is one of loneliness, depression & envy for those who have what we never will. far better to have never been born at all imo.

 

[Finished]

^ How about changing your focus? If you can't succeed in one area, women, or even several areas. Admit defeat. It's completely unfair. You'll never win. It sucks. I agree. I'd rather not have been born myself. My life is not a gift. If given the option to come back after I die I will request to go into nothingness. I had a vasectomy early in my life partly because I didn't want another human being to have to go through what I have. But, continually beating yourself up about it doesn't help you.

Try focusing your attention in areas that you can exceed in where others might very well fail. It probably won't make you as happy as getting what you want. But, it might very well get you satisfied and at least get you feeling better about yourself. Because after all your genetics are not your fault. The decisions you make about them are though.

 

[Sunless Sky]

I feel a bit more empty and closed off but it is what it is, no need to ponder over it anymore.

 

[Finished]

^ Here's some crap to fill up the emptiness:

 

[mgill]

^ How about changing your focus? If you can't succeed in one area, women, or even several areas. Admit defeat. It's completely unfair. You'll never win. It sucks. I agree. I'd rather not have been born myself. My life is not a gift. If given the option to come back after I die I will request to go into nothingness. I had a vasectomy early in my life partly because I didn't want another human being to have to go through what I have. But, continually beating yourself up about it doesn't help you.

Try focusing your attention in areas that you can exceed in where others might very well fail. It probably won't make you as happy as getting what you want. But, it might very well get you satisfied and at least get you feeling better about yourself. Because after all your genetics are not your fault. The decisions you make about them are though.

perhaps good advice for some which i have been trying for years but no hobby or distraction can make up for the complete lack of physical & intimate connection.  i think if i were to admit defeat i would not find much to make it worthwhile to carry on so perhaps it's a defense mechanism to keep fighing despite no possibility of success.  i agree 100% about not having children and that is one of the few choices i am grateful for making-for many reasons including envirommental & not wishing to force another person to inherit my garbage genetics.

i don't blame myself for my trash genetics but that does not make it any easier to accept them. knowing they are the reason for my rejections & failures has sremoved the frustration & confusion which plaugued me in my younger years but instead of providing relief they just morphed into deep depression & despair.  everytime i am in public (especially at the gym where i attend often) i am reminded by all the attractive couples how crappy & empty my own life is and how it's never going to get any better.

 

[Running Alone]

No change...but I do enjoy popping in here and find comfort reading the thoughts of other folks enduring the same issues I have. From the encouragement to acceptance of the hand life has delt me, etc, I feel like the majority of people here genuinely care about others and that keeps me coming back...much cheaper than a therapist anyway. I'm very selfish in that I do feel my loneliness could be solved simply by a having a meaningful relationship, it has in the past, but man, for me it seems that practically takes a miracle to happen...and how many of those do you really get in a lifetime. That sounds incredibly shallow, and so it is - to say my loneliness is tied to being single - because as we all know, plenty of coupled up folks out there are not truly happy (ahem, but many ARE). But for me, YES, you're **** straight, having a significant woman to share my life with would definitely go a long way to curing my blues. Hell, I'm not gonna lie, if I had a girlfriend I wouldn't even be here reading or posting. Nope. But I don't and probably won't, at least not according to my history, I've still several years away from my next flukey date. /self pity moment.

 

[Abstamyous]

No change...but I do enjoy popping in here and find comfort reading the thoughts of other folks enduring the same issues I have. From the encouragement to acceptance of the hand life has delt me, etc, I feel like the majority of people here genuinely care about others and that keeps me coming back...much cheaper than a therapist anyway. I'm very selfish in that I do feel my loneliness could be solved simply by a having a meaningful relationship, it has in the past, but man, for me it seems that practically takes a miracle to happen...and how many of those do you really get in a lifetime. That sounds incredibly shallow, and so it is - to say my loneliness is tied to being single - because as we all know, plenty of coupled up folks out there are not truly happy (ahem, but many ARE). But for me, YES, you're **** straight, having a significant woman to share my life with would definitely go a long way to curing my blues. Hell, I'm not gonna lie, if I had a girlfriend I wouldn't even be here reading or posting. Nope. But I don't and probably won't, at least not according to my history, I've still several years away from my next flukey date. /self pity moment.

I hope it all works out for you. *big hugs*

 

[Janey]

Nothing has changed.

 

[Serenia]

I am definitely a sadder person than I used to be. Since I joined I have had three traumatic experiences and I won't be the same person after. I just still want to find some happiness in my own skin and achieve things for me and not others.

 

[Running Alone]

No change...but I do enjoy popping in here and find comfort reading the thoughts of other folks enduring the same issues I have. From the encouragement to acceptance of the hand life has delt me, etc, I feel like the majority of people here genuinely care about others and that keeps me coming back...much cheaper than a therapist anyway. I'm very selfish in that I do feel my loneliness could be solved simply by a having a meaningful relationship, it has in the past, but man, for me it seems that practically takes a miracle to happen...and how many of those do you really get in a lifetime. That sounds incredibly shallow, and so it is - to say my loneliness is tied to being single - because as we all know, plenty of coupled up folks out there are not truly happy (ahem, but many ARE). But for me, YES, you're **** straight, having a significant woman to share my life with would definitely go a long way to curing my blues. Hell, I'm not gonna lie, if I had a girlfriend I wouldn't even be here reading or posting. Nope. But I don't and probably won't, at least not according to my history, I've still several years away from my next flukey date. /self pity moment.

I hope it all works out for you. *big hugs*

that's kind of you, thanks.

 

[ewomack]

I have always known that lonely people exist in the world, but hearing their stories and testimony firsthand helps loneliness feel less lonely. Though I'm definitely not as lonely as others who have posted here - I am happily married, after all - I have experienced crushing and debilitating loneliness in the past. I was able to pull through it and get to a new state, but it took a fairly courageous leap of faith in human nature and a high tolerance for failure to get there. Things can change for the better and I hope that I can help convince people that their situation doesn't have to be permanent. If nothing else, I hope I can at least offer some empathy.

Though I haven't really connected with anyone on this forum and I feel a little anonymous and lonely on it, reading the stories of others nonetheless makes me feel better. So I keep doing it.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I am definitely a sadder person than I used to be. Since I joined I have had three traumatic experiences and I won't be the same person after. I just still want to find some happiness in my own skin and achieve things for me and not others.

(hugs) Serenia

Sorry you feel that way. I've had some similar experiences since I joined too, and feel sadder/less enthusiastic about life since I joined as well. I've had a hard time getting into my interests because they just seem silly after what's happened. It's hard feeling like anything matters, except what I'm forced to care about out of necessity. I've just been trying to keep it together.

 

[Forgottendanfan]

I don't feel any different to the way I felt when I joined. Still lonely, isolated and depressed.

 

[Finished]

 

[Vinny D]

I would say I feel a little less lonely, because when I pop on here I feel welcome. And I feel I can relate to a lot of the folks on here.

 

[Syber Tiger]

total flip,when i joined 11years ago was in a bad place even till not that long ago and alot of honeysuckle went down ,but making the change i need to,and actually getting my honeysuckle together, im in the place i always wanted to be

just keep strong <3