how does a single 35 year old woman meet someone? advice?

[BeyondShy]

As mentioned earlier, everyone seems to be staring at their phone. I have no idea how people meet. I met a lot of people traveling, but it's temporary, and I don't drink alcohol anymore, and I don't go out.

I am lost too. I thought about getting a part time job but I suspect I would end up with people much older than me. Volunteering? End up with pets or elderly. I suspect that my entire generation is sitting in their homes right now watching Netflix alone.

What is wrong with making friends with people that are older than you?

 

[Droopy]

As mentioned earlier, everyone seems to be staring at their phone. I have no idea how people meet. I met a lot of people traveling, but it's temporary, and I don't drink alcohol anymore, and I don't go out.

I am lost too. I thought about getting a part time job but I suspect I would end up with people much older than me. Volunteering? End up with pets or elderly. I suspect that my entire generation is sitting in their homes right now watching Netflix alone.

Your generation? How old are you? Also, maybe you shouldn't be doing what your generation is doing. Not everyone in my generation is working out. So?

 

[LonelySutton]

What is wrong with making friends with people that are older than you?

Not my cup of tea. In my experience:

1. The elderly are fixed and inflexible often, sad to say, because of drugs that they are on. Usually like cholesterol meds make them forgetful and crazy. 
2. Typically, they like to tell you what to do. 
3. Usually they need to use you for things like not understanding their computers or lifting heavy things so you begin to feel like your not a true friend but a helper. 
4. Just a completely practically thing... if they are older than you... and you work hard to make a friend and nurture a relationship what happens when they die? Do you really want to set yourself up for that kind of pain involved in them dying and then you being alone?
5. If someone is too old (or young) they have different life goals than you / different concerns that you might not be able to relate to. 

 

[BadGuy]

What is wrong with making friends with people that are older than you?

Not my cup of tea. In my experience:

1. The elderly are fixed and inflexible often, sad to say, because of drugs that they are on. Usually like cholesterol meds make them forgetful and crazy. 
2. Typically, they like to tell you what to do. 
3. Usually they need to use you for things like not understanding their computers or lifting heavy things so you begin to feel like your not a true friend but a helper. 
4. Just a completely practically thing... if they are older than you... and you work hard to make a friend and nurture a relationship what happens when they die? Do you really want to set yourself up for that kind of pain involved in them dying and then you being alone?
5. If someone is too old (or young) they have different life goals than you / different concerns that you might not be able to relate to. 

1. I am in my late 40s and dont take any drugs but can be forgetful LOL
2. telling you where to go isnt the the same as telling you what to do LOL
3. I often fix peoples cars for them and they are younger than me ... **** THEY ARE USING MEEEEEE 
4. EVERYONE dies ... we dont have a set expiry date like milk LOL 
5. We may have already played a lot of the same games ...if you talk and listen to us you might be able to find an easier road 
6 .I cant find my cholesterol meds ROFL JK

 

[Xpendable]

You can't share memes with an older person,

 

[LonelySutton]

What is wrong with making friends with people that are older than you?

Not my cup of tea. In my experience:

1. The elderly are fixed and inflexible often, sad to say, because of drugs that they are on. Usually like cholesterol meds make them forgetful and crazy. 
2. Typically, they like to tell you what to do. 
3. Usually they need to use you for things like not understanding their computers or lifting heavy things so you begin to feel like your not a true friend but a helper. 
4. Just a completely practically thing... if they are older than you... and you work hard to make a friend and nurture a relationship what happens when they die? Do you really want to set yourself up for that kind of pain involved in them dying and then you being alone?
5. If someone is too old (or young) they have different life goals than you / different concerns that you might not be able to relate to. 

1. I am in my late 40s and dont take any drugs but can be forgetful LOL
2. telling you where to go isnt the the same as telling you what to do LOL
3. I often fix peoples cars for them and they are younger than me ... **** THEY ARE USING MEEEEEE 
4. EVERYONE dies ... we dont have a set expiry date like milk LOL 
5. We may have already played a lot of the same games ...if you talk and listen to us you might be able to find an easier road 
6 .I cant find my cholesterol meds ROFL JK

And 6 they can't handle the truth.

 

[Droopy]

You can't share memes with an older person,

Thas a deal breaker, mayn..

 

[Droopy]

Not my cup of tea. In my experience:

1. The elderly are fixed and inflexible often, sad to say, because of drugs that they are on. Usually like cholesterol meds make them forgetful and crazy. 
2. Typically, they like to tell you what to do. 
3. Usually they need to use you for things like not understanding their computers or lifting heavy things so you begin to feel like your not a true friend but a helper. 
4. Just a completely practically thing... if they are older than you... and you work hard to make a friend and nurture a relationship what happens when they die? Do you really want to set yourself up for that kind of pain involved in them dying and then you being alone?
5. If someone is too old (or young) they have different life goals than you / different concerns that you might not be able to relate to. 

1. I am in my late 40s and dont take any drugs but can be forgetful LOL
2. telling you where to go isnt the the same as telling you what to do LOL
3. I often fix peoples cars for them and they are younger than me ... **** THEY ARE USING MEEEEEE 
4. EVERYONE dies ... we dont have a set expiry date like milk LOL 
5. We may have already played a lot of the same games ...if you talk and listen to us you might be able to find an easier road 
6 .I cant find my cholesterol meds ROFL JK

And 6 they can't handle the truth.

I think that's all generalization. 

But it tends to be hard to keep up a friendship with older people. Like more than 10 years of an age difference. It's just natural. I remember speaking to a women, even though we hit off with similar interests, I'm pretty good when it comes to socializing at least I think. In the end I just wasn't the kind of person she would want to be friends with, because it takes a lot of effort for me to not flow as I would. Not that she knew I wasn't being myself, but it never works and she just stopped talking to me because we didn't synergies. She thought I couldn't hold up conversations etc, I didn't have much on the table that was interesting to someone at that different stage in life.

 

[TheRealCallie]

What is wrong with making friends with people that are older than you?

Not my cup of tea. In my experience:

1. The elderly are fixed and inflexible often, sad to say, because of drugs that they are on. Usually like cholesterol meds make them forgetful and crazy. 
2. Typically, they like to tell you what to do. 
3. Usually they need to use you for things like not understanding their computers or lifting heavy things so you begin to feel like your not a true friend but a helper. 
4. Just a completely practically thing... if they are older than you... and you work hard to make a friend and nurture a relationship what happens when they die? Do you really want to set yourself up for that kind of pain involved in them dying and then you being alone?
5. If someone is too old (or young) they have different life goals than you / different concerns that you might not be able to relate to. 
6. And 6 they can't handle the truth.

Every single one of these can apply to people at ANY age.

 

[Droopy]

What is wrong with making friends with people that are older than you?

Not my cup of tea. In my experience:

1. The elderly are fixed and inflexible often, sad to say, because of drugs that they are on. Usually like cholesterol meds make them forgetful and crazy. 
2. Typically, they like to tell you what to do. 
3. Usually they need to use you for things like not understanding their computers or lifting heavy things so you begin to feel like your not a true friend but a helper. 
4. Just a completely practically thing... if they are older than you... and you work hard to make a friend and nurture a relationship what happens when they die? Do you really want to set yourself up for that kind of pain involved in them dying and then you being alone?
5. If someone is too old (or young) they have different life goals than you / different concerns that you might not be able to relate to. 
6. And 6 they can't handle the truth.

Every single one of these can apply to people at ANY age.

Yeah but they are pretty zealous about that not being the case

But that number 1. though. What?

 

[user 115627]

What is wrong with making friends with people that are older than you?

Not my cup of tea. In my experience:

1. The elderly are fixed and inflexible often, sad to say, because of drugs that they are on. Usually like cholesterol meds make them forgetful and crazy. 
2. Typically, they like to tell you what to do. 
3. Usually they need to use you for things like not understanding their computers or lifting heavy things so you begin to feel like your not a true friend but a helper. 
4. Just a completely practically thing... if they are older than you... and you work hard to make a friend and nurture a relationship what happens when they die? Do you really want to set yourself up for that kind of pain involved in them dying and then you being alone?
5. If someone is too old (or young) they have different life goals than you / different concerns that you might not be able to relate to. 
6. And 6 they can't handle the truth.

Every single one of these can apply to people at ANY age.

Yeah but they are pretty zealous about that not being the case

But that number 1. though. What?

It does sound somewhat contradictory to me. How does "fixed and inflexible" align with "forgetful and crazy"? If they were these things because of said drugs, I'd find them more likely to be erratic and unpredictable...and not inflexible.

I would agree that the elderly have a tendency to be more rigid after a lifetime of adjusting to a certain mannerisms though.

 

[MisterLonely]

You thought about getting a part time job, i'd say go and do that. I don't know how old you are but get the feeling you're still pretty young.
If you don't connect with anyone there you look for something different, the simple satisfaction one can get from doing honest work is also a boost to your self-esteem.

 

[mauthecat]

No actually, were I live you are supposed to have friends by now, like long time friends. And all the people my age I know, are married and have kids. it is very hard to meet anyone else because they are all looking at their phones. there is not such place as a bar or something were I could go. Only young people go. I would feel like their mother.
It was a nice surprise to see that this thread is still alive.

 

[MisterLonely]

No actually, were I live you are supposed to have friends by now, like long time friends. And all the people my age I know, are married and have kids.  it is very hard to meet anyone else because they are all looking at their phones. there is not such place as a bar or something were I could go. Only young people go. I would feel like their mother.
It was a nice surprise to see that this thread is still alive.

Doh! I made a dumb mistake there, your age is in the subject , 35 is still young though!! (Have to say that bacause i'll be it in little over 2 years), I'd totally go to a café for drinks with most of the people here, however the logistics off something like that are unrealistic

If you live in or near a big city you could look into "phone free" nights, I know some bars have them every now and then, but ofcourse that might not be the case wherever your at.

In the Netherlands (or atleast the places i've went) all ages mingle at bars, but yes for the most part it's the youth that you find there... ofcourse nothing wrong with being considerd a cougar

 

[patheticshutin79]

Has anyone ever meet up and started a relationship from this site or is that just wishful thinking.

 

[ABrokenMan]

One thing I've noticed, in my perpetual singledom, is that trying to find something to improve or augment your life (job, better job, car / upgrade car, hobby, social club, etc) is generally viewed as a positive action, garnering a "Good for you!" kinda cheer from society.
Change those variables to that of "I'm tired of being single - I'm looking for a boyfriend / girlfriend", well, you rarely receive the same positive kudos. In fact, you are typically perceived as someone who:
must have issues,
someone who isn't happy being alone,
someone who is desperate,
or someone who is socially / relationship deficient or defective in some way. Happens whenever you voice complaints about being single for a period or long, extended periods of time.

 

[niceguysfinishlast]

Has anyone ever meet up and started a relationship from this site or is that just wishful thinking.

Rarely but it happens.

 

[Tuathaniel]

Have you tried looking at a new hobby, one that involves some form of socializing with other people? It could be a workout class, a dance class, performance arts group, a local choir ... I don't know what options you have in your area, so perhaps these are all really useless suggestions, but it's the best I can think of. 

I've tried my share of dating sites and apps over the years, and never found any of them to work for me (though I know people who did meet on a dating site, and who are still together today, so what doesn't work for some will work for others).

 

[tothemoon]

Join clubs, groups, classes, volunteer, so on, so forth. Essentially, get involved in your community. You'd be surprised at how many doors it opens! After I was in a serious period of depression, I decided to get my life back on track through such things. Boosted my self confidence and introduced me to different people. Overall, I felt attractive in my own right, and it definitely showed.

Good luck!

 

[Austen]

Has anyone ever meet up and started a relationship from this site or is that just wishful thinking.

Happened to me once.

Mauthecat,

First of all, Mau is a really cool name for a cat.

As a 30 year old, I can relate to your post in many ways. My friends are either getting married and settling down or spending every other weekend clubbing and drinking, which I'm not a huge fan of. I've been able to socialise despite these through volunteering (this is fulfilling in itself even if you're not making friends, but I reckon it's easier to interact with people over common interests), meetup groups and joining workshops. What I've found interesting is that I didn't join these groups with the intention of making friends, instead I wanted to engage in meaningful activities, and along the way just met people who were likeminded and made friends. Perhaps you might try these? (Not sure if other member's have mentioned these already). Good luck and you sound like a cool friend to have!