How many people over 20 are still virgins?

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

37 and still a virgin. Had quite a few opportunities in the past when I still used to do one night stands. When I say opportunity I mean lying naked with her but not doing anything because I was too wasted, not into it or didn't have a rubber. Never thought it was a big deal at the time since I didn't realise I was going to become a flippin hermit and live like a bloody monk for the next 16 years!! Seize the moment, that is the lesson..., **** wish someone had kicked me.

At least you've had the opportunity. I would be thankful if I could be able to say that I've had the opportunity, but I haven't.

Having the opportunity doesn't mean anything if you have anxiety.

I was asked by two women if they could take my virginity. And both women were stunningly attractive...not that that matters.

I turned both of them down, because I was so nervous around them. And that has permeated into my adult life at age 30.

 

[Klemon]

27. Religion and lack of single women in my church have come together to deal me a bum hand. And I'm not looking for it for the sake of it, what I really want is a wife!

 

[bulmabriefs144]

30 and still a virgin. Had about two or three almost relationships that I couldn't get off the ground. In retrospect, at least two were using me to either get jealous on another bf, or pass time while the bf was off in Alaska (seriously, not even in the same state).

I'm nearly ready to just say fresia it. No, not that way. I mean as in "I'm not doing this anymore."

 

[Moe'sTavern]

26. Still a virgin.

 

[weirdquietgirl]

26 and never even been kissed.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

I may as well be a born again virgin.

 

[Sigma]

I made it till 21 before I got violently robbed of my virginity, in a very very good way.
Well for me anyway, it probably was crap for her ._.;

 

[perfanoff]

Not a virgin but I feel like one. Oh the power of youth! :shy:

 

[Gondwanaland]

I am...and I'm 24 yo
Haha!!!

 

[ardour]

Almost 34 and always will be (no kissy either... sad face.) At this stage all I want from women is just to be regarded as a normal, okay person.

There's more to life anyway.

 

[Cucuboth]

"No, offense, by why is this even topic? There is more to life then shagging."

Not a bad question at all but I think it misses the point. It is not about a roll in the hay, any idiot who can find money and a street corner can get that. It is about being able to make a connection with an other person to the degree that one can advance to that stage in a human life cycle. Imagine being the only kid who still has the training wheels on his bike or the only one at college who still does not have his or her driver's license.

The inability to make that kind of connection is a very real kind of failure and for some of us it really hurts. Whats more it is not only a problem that gets worse every day it is a problem that actually makes itself worse.

When you are in your mid 40's and all of your friends and family are married and/or have families of their own and you have not been able to make it to first base yet it seriously messes with a guy's cool. It makes a guy feel about this -> . <- big.

My humble two cents, thank you for all of your input. -SY

All of this. Spot on. It's not just about the physical action of intercourse. It's about the connection with someone, and for me at least, it's also about affection. Anyone with the money and the need can go and pay for sex. But to feel affection from someone .. and to feel that you are allowed to show it, and share it, with someone, is something that you can't buy.

And yeah, it gets worse. It's not something that feels less important with time. The longer it goes on for, the more of a deeper effect it has on self-esteem and confidence. Being told that it is OK to be a virgin doesn't help either. Because it matters to the person who matter ... and that is the individual. Being told that sex is over-rated just makes it worse too, because more often than not, it is said by someone who has, and can have, sex. Tell them that if they consider it so over-rated, why don't they give it up, and watch how they try to back-peddel on the reasons why they can't (won't). Being told that it's over-rated is just a way to try and put the said virgin off.

But for me, like I said, it's also about the connection and affection. I've never really had a connection with anyone, and definatly never at the level where physical affection was involved. Not that I haven't. There's been plently of girls I would have liked to. But they all made it very clear that they didn't, and wouldn't, feel the same way about me. I'm 37 now, and have no clear memory of any physical affection ... I've never held hands, haven't had my first kiss, never even hugged a girl (apart from relatives).

Most people think that I should give up. That it's all too late now. Even therapists have told me that. No girl wants a 37 year old virgin. And I admit that I don't know what to do, where to go, to try and find someone who might help ....

 

[Moe'sTavern]

Almost 34 and always will be (no kissy either... sad face.) At this stage all I want from women is just to be regarded as a normal, okay person.

There's more to life anyway.

That there is.

 

[omarlittle]

23 and on the same boat. And I worry about it every single day/ Never even kissed a girl or had any sort of romantic fling. Hell, I've hardly had any close female friends over the years. I'm just awful with women.

To be honest, this never really became a big issue with me until about a year or so ago. When I was in high school (which I guess is the normal time where kids have sex) I was too focused on schoolwork/grades. Yes, I was attracted to girls in my school but I was WAYYY too shy to do anything else. It didnt even cross my mind to go for it.

Then I went to college, and again it didn't really cross my mind to go out there and try to have sex. I was more interested in making sure my grades were okay, while trying to have a good social life. I went to parties and stuff but again, my self-confidence was so low I couldnt even approach a girl.

Then about a few months ago, I reconnected with some old friends who either had girlfriends or were out there hitting on chicks. Then it hit me, that I should be doing something about this...so here I am, I worry about this stuff everyday. And I get upset when I hear stories about other people's experiences. At 23, I feel like I've already missed out on so much. I constantly think about how much time I'm wasting. Reading this thread does make me feel a little better though, knowing that there are others like me out there.

Also, nobody else in this world knows about this problem. I have a feeling people do suspect I am a virgin though because I get uncomfortable whenever the conversation of sex/girlfriends comes up...because I am so unexperienced.

 

[Romantic_Flower]

man, just relax...i never had a girlfriend until now...and i lost my virginity this year. but most important, i lost it with someone i love. if you want so much to just "lose your virginity", just pay for a whore... But i would never do that. I would prefer to die virgin than having sex with someone i dont love...
I may be radical, but for me, love is everything. Anything i do, i do with/for love... doing things without love is meaninless
the right time will come. I never really cared about having sex. It just happened, with the right person, and now its been 2 months we are together and i love her.
dont be attached to sex... be attached to love. it's much better

 

[ardour]

All of this. Spot on. It's not just about the physical action of intercourse. It's about the connection with someone, and for me at least, it's also about affection. Anyone with the money and the need can go and pay for sex. But to feel affection from someone .. and to feel that you are allowed to show it, and share it, with someone, is something that you can't buy.

And yeah, it gets worse. It's not something that feels less important with time. The longer it goes on for, the more of a deeper effect it has on self-esteem and confidence. Being told that it is OK to be a virgin doesn't help either. Because it matters to the person who matter ... and that is the individual. Being told that sex is over-rated just makes it worse too, because more often than not, it is said by someone who has, and can have, sex. Tell them that if they consider it so over-rated, why don't they give it up, and watch how they try to back-peddel on the reasons why they can't (won't). Being told that it's over-rated is just a way to try and put the said virgin off.

But for me, like I said, it's also about the connection and affection. I've never really had a connection with anyone, and definatly never at the level where physical affection was involved. Not that I haven't. There's been plently of girls I would have liked to. But they all made it very clear that they didn't, and wouldn't, feel the same way about me. I'm 37 now, and have no clear memory of any physical affection ... I've never held hands, haven't had my first kiss, never even hugged a girl (apart from relatives).

Most people think that I should give up. That it's all too late now. Even therapists have told me that. No girl wants a 37 year old virgin. And I admit that I don't know what to do, where to go, to try and find someone who might help ....

Help with what though - affection with someone who you ultimately don't love? Some heartless act so you can say you've had the experience?

And I don't believe in sex outside of marriage or some life-long equivalent anyway. It's using someone. That's just my opinion, obviously it's going to clash with other people's. I think you would be giving up more than you'd be gaining. It's not as though I don't have urges and desire intimacy, but the negative after affects of acting on them (if it were a possibility that is) just feel like they would outweigh the temporary gratification.

Hell if it's that much of an issue with women, and I'm not sure about the quality of relationship with someone who would judge a man for this.... but if it is, then could you not just avoid telling them?

 

[lusker]

Ladies and gentlemen, please! Just go buy it! Get it out of your system, then you'll be more relaxed and MUCH more likely to get some in future. And for those waiting on Mr or Ms Right? How will you know they are right until you've bonked them? What if Ms Right is perfect in every way, but a dud root? I'm more of a try before you buy kinda guy, otherwise you may get stuck in platonic-relationship-hell.

 

[Gurp]

me me me me me me me i am still virgin. I am not happy or sad , i am 27 yrs , if i lose it , still be ok , if not still ok . A neutral topic for me.I am from country where these topics are tabboo which fucks everything even more.
If i lose it , it should be true and sacred not a fling.This is my only wish.

 

[Solivagant]

Imagine being the only kid who still has the training wheels on his bike or the only one at college who still does not have his or her driver's license.

I was both of those, lol.

And I'm also still a virgin.

 

[Wuido]

I am 16 and feel very ashamed about losing my virginity at 13.

 

[Rainbows]

me.