How many people over 20 are still virgins?

[MentalDiscomfort]

I'm 21 and still a virgin. I get highly uncomfortable by just talking to females, so I don't see it happening very soon either. Same thing with relationships, don't want it.

 

[ZynischeWirklichkeit]

I am 24 and I am still a virgin. It does not bother me at all. I am happily a loner.

 

[there is no hope]

31. This is unlikely to ever change.
I'm considering self-castration.

 

[xaero]

I am not but there's no shame in still being one.

 

[there is no hope]

Yeah, stepping back it's quite silly to be too upset about the lack of women in my life. It's usually the reasons why we're trapped in this that are the problem, rather than the status of my thing.

At this point, I couldn't go through with that act anyway, not that there are any women who would want to.

 

[Jafo]

I was 27 when I lost my virginity. It was also the same age that I had my first kiss. It bothered me that it had never happened when I was a teenager.

 

[Nethic]

Yeah, stepping back it's quite silly to be too upset about the lack of women in my life. It's usually the reasons why we're trapped in this that are the problem, rather than the status of my thing.

At this point, I couldn't go through with that act anyway, not that there are any women who would want to.

Had sex once in my life. Was good. Painful experience afterwards. Being alone sucks once you know what a relationship feels like.

Still have trouble talking to women. It's rough out there. I am very annoyed at how easy it is for women to get laid - to get into a relationship. It seems like for women, the issue is to find the "right" guy, and for a guy like me, the issue is to find "a" girl.

Pretty shitty. Life isn't fair, I know that.

I made a post on craigslist today - how many replies did I get? 1, it was spam. I wonder how many replies a woman gets when she posts a message on there. It's ******* ridiculous how messed biology is. But I guess it's survival of the fittest all over again.

The Healthy are allowed to breed, and the shy, and nervous are stuck holding their dicks in their hands. It's messed up and mildly depressing. I'm worried if it keeps going on like this I'm going to be on anti-depressants.

It's hard to stay positive when life just keeps ******* you in the ass.

 

[Batman55]

The Healthy are allowed to breed, and the shy, and nervous are stuck holding their dicks in their hands. It's messed up and mildly depressing. I'm worried if it keeps going on like this I'm going to be on anti-depressants.

It's hard to stay positive when life just keeps ******* you in the ass.

Who or what says that "shy and nervous" is weak or unwanted or whatever? One can generally say it turned out that way... as in, the overconfident will soak up all the attention. Yes.

But you basically make it seem as if it's "proper" to label oneself as a loser, or unfit, due to an oversensitive nervous system. That doesn't make any sense to me. Even if it makes you less popular... it is what it is, and you need to accept it and still like yourself, right?

 

[ardour]

But you basically make it seem as if it's "proper" to label oneself as a loser, or unfit, due to an oversensitive nervous system. That doesn't make any sense to me. Even if it makes you less popular... it is what it is, and you need to accept it and still like yourself, right?

To a degree it's something within his control, he can grow less awkward by getting out of that empty comfort zone. I recently started running with a bunch of people. Just doing one activity, one thing outside of work, results in whole new group of people to know, some of whom you'll get along with, some you won't, but it's all worthwhile.

 

[LonelyGuy1]

I'm 35 years old, and a male.

I'm a virgin in every sense of the word. I'm still waiting for my first kiss, first relationship, first EVERYTHING.

I don't know when things will change. All I know is this:

I AM TIRED OF WAITING.
I AM TIRED OF BEING LEFT OUT.
I AM TIRED OF ONLY BEING ABLE TO WONDER WHAT IT'S LIKE TO EXPERIENCE THINGS THAT OTHER PEOPLE COMPLETELY TAKE FOR GRANTED.

 

[lmph8885]

I wonder what is worse, being a virgin over 20 years old or having meaningful sex in order to fill up a void.... I think the second is worse.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I wonder what is worse, being a virgin over 20 years old or having meaningful sex in order to fill up a void.... I think the second is worse.

How is the latter worse?

 

[there is no hope]

Several years ago I tried to meet women just to get it out of the way (without paying for it). It didn't work as well as I had hoped, but at least I know some women would have liked me enough if I weren't such a honeysuckle-up, and realized that women weren't nearly as harsh as I had feared.

Speaking as a male, I have no problem with meaningless sex... if it's fun for both parties. It does beg the question though, what exactly was I chasing after? It stopped being fun for me several years ago, now I just go through the motions solo out of habit/addiction. It can get pretty ugly... I don't look down on men who are stuck in that trap, because I know I'm not much better.

 

[Batman55]

Several years ago I tried to meet women just to get it out of the way (without paying for it). It didn't work as well as I had hoped, but at least I know some women would have liked me enough if I weren't such a honeysuckle-up, and realized that women weren't nearly as harsh as I had feared.

RE the bolded print.. seems like you messed up some otherwise good chances? Well I'm just guessing... perhaps you can provide more detail there, as to what you mean?

 

[there is no hope]

Basically too messed up to seriously consider the ramifications of inserting tab A into slot B.
I wouldn't call them "good chances", basically I tried to meet any woman I could and stopped caring about any long-term expectations. It doesn't work, and there is a good reason why so many men are nerve-wracked when dealing with women. I guess I was lucky it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
Now I'm too old to be doing something like that, and it's starting to show.

 

[matt4]

I lost my virginity at 20 I'm now 26.

To be honest I wish I'd waited till I got into a relationship... but then I'd still be waiting
I have a high sex drive so desire it a lot but now I want it to mean something when a woman shares her body with me. Not just for desire.

 

[AnonymousMe]

I wonder what is worse, being a virgin over 20 years old or having meaningful sex in order to fill up a void.... I think the second is worse.

How is the latter worse?

I think he might have meant "meaningless" sex. Other than that, none is worse than the other; the two are equally bad.

By the way, I am a 25-year-old virgin and that makes me a piece of sh*t.

 

[Batman55]

By the way, I am a 25-year-old virgin and that makes me a piece of sh*t.

Well given the emoji you may be a bit sarcastic, but if not, no use for pointless comparisons and value judgments because you still have virginity at 25. That's just ridiculous.

Start liking yourself a bit more. It will take a while. But once you really believe in your value, other good things will happen, including loss of virginity. I almost guarantee it.

 

[looking glass]

By the way, I am a 25-year-old virgin and that makes me a piece of sh*t.

Well given the emoji you may be a bit sarcastic, but if not, no use for pointless comparisons and value judgments because you still have virginity at 25. That's just ridiculous.

Start liking yourself a bit more. It will take a while. But once you really believe in your value, other good things will happen, including loss of virginity. I almost guarantee it.

I have had quite contrary experiences throughout.
I personally do not really care that I'm a virgin at almost 27 but others are somehow really put off by that. My close friends aren't but people I don't know so well are, if they find out.

I also always hear/read that liking yourself is important because it leads to good things, like relationships. That is blatantly false. Only because you like yourself it doesn't mean that you can expect to land a girl/boyfriend the next days/weeks/years. Also liking yourself doesn't really change that much how others see you. If you like yourself but the other person isn't into you then that won't help you.

However, it is important to like yourself regardless of these reasons. It is important to like yourself to be at peace with yourself and to have self-confidence. It will help in any area of life. To tell someone they need to like themselves to land a relationship is dangerous in the sense that it falsely gets ones hopes up.
It is important to like yourself without an immediate goal to achieve. What you want is you want to be content with yourself and have self-worth. THAT is why it's important to like yourself.

 

[Batman55]

I have had quite contrary experiences throughout.
I personally do not really care that I'm a virgin at almost 27 but others are somehow really put off by that. My close friends aren't but people I don't know so well are, if they find out.

I also always hear/read that liking yourself is important because it leads to good things, like relationships. That is blatantly false. Only because you like yourself it doesn't mean that you can expect to land a girl/boyfriend the next days/weeks/years. Also liking yourself doesn't really change that much how others see you. If you like yourself but the other person isn't into you then that won't help you.

However, it is important to like yourself regardless of these reasons. It is important to like yourself to be at peace with yourself and to have self-confidence. It will help in any area of life. To tell someone they need to like themselves to land a relationship is dangerous in the sense that it falsely gets ones hopes up.
It is important to like yourself without an immediate goal to achieve. What you want is you want to be content with yourself and have self-worth. THAT is why it's important to like yourself.

Very well but it does seem to me that the #1 thing holding many folks back from getting *some* of the things they want, is a lack of confidence or insecurity about one's self worth. I do believe if you do not have those things taken care of, it will show and will put others off. If you do have it under control, it does not guarantee anything, but does improve your chances greatly.

About keeping the idea of self-improvement separate from goals: Not quite seeing it. "Self-improvement just because".. not really. I don't see it. There is always motivating factors behind improvement. Maybe you disagree on this also, but I think we are all selfish to some extent, anyway.

But again that doesn't mean IF you improve something, it guarantees anything. If I implied that, then my apologies.