how many people thought of ending ur own life?

[BayouWoman]

I tried when I was 28, ended up in the hospital and then in the psych ward for awhile. Could not see any future or any reason for being. Now at 55 I am so glad I wasn't successful. Met a great man, had a wonderful marriage, three children, this whole future that I couldn't even begin to imagine back then.

When you feel suicidal it isn't that there is no future, it is just that you can't see a future...

and you are wrong, the future is there to grab hold of.

 

[Fragile]

It comes and goes basically.

Right now I'm thinking about it in a serious way, cause I feel so hopeless. Like My life is all emptiness and sorrow anyway, I only cause pain on others, I would, in a sensible way, be better off dead.

But at the same time I love life, and there are so many beautiful persons I could meet and maybe even love.

I guess hope keeps me on board, for now.

 

[Fragile]

I have plan for how to do it.

I kinda slip back and forth atm. I really hate my life, it's sucks so bad. Like nothong, there's literally nothing to live for.

No-one can love a useless corpse like me, so why bother? Why stay alive, I might aswell kill myself and feel nothing at all.

 

[BayouWoman]

Don't do it Fragile! You can change a life you hate into one you love, only you have the power to do that. There are many things to live for, it is just that you are not seeing them right now. You are not a useless corpse and the people who have hurt you were probably not deserving of your love.

How do you know you will feel nothing at all, you might not be successful, you might end up handicapped for the rest of your life. At the last minute you may regret it andit might be too late. Have the courage to give it some time and see if you can't turn things around first. Hang onto the hope.

 

[Treze]

I find myself thinking about it more often than I'd like. I don't think I'd actually do through with it, but it's always there.

 

[BayouWoman]

Treze,
I just want to say that you may be feeling sad and down right now, but whatever is happening will pass and you will become a better and stronger person because of living through it. After a time you may even look back at this time in your life and realize that something good came out of it.

 

[Treze]

Treze,
I just want to say that you may be feeling sad and down right now, but whatever is happening will pass and you will become a better and stronger person because of living through it. After a time you may even look back at this time in your life and realize that something good came out of it.

Thanks. It's like I said, I don't think I could go through with it because I know it would only make things worse for my family. No matter how terrible I'm feeling, it would be even worse for them.

It used to be just a distant thought but I recently caught myself reading about different methods, what offers the best "success" rate, and that gave me some pause, like WTF am I doing. hahaha

 

[BayouWoman]

Treze,
You are welcome. I am glad I could be of help.

 

[sothatwasmylife]

Life's ending is pretty unpredictable anyway....unpredictable but certain....so maintain hope the suffering you are experiencing right now will pass and things have the potential to change for the better as long as your alive to appreciate it...and if it ever becomes unbearable don't worry because then any act of suicide will be spontaneous unless your in acute physical misery and then a one way ticket to Switzerland may be in order.we're all so adept at torturing ourselves...recognise the thought it's ok but try to avoid the old tape loop scenario it's exhausting

 

[BayouWoman]

Very wise, sothatwasmylife!

 

[BayouWoman]

1-800-784-2433

This is the number for Lifeline. People there are available 24/7 and not just for suicide prevention. They are there if you just want to talk. I have spoken with them and they are very nice and supportive.

They also run a website:

http://feelingkindablue.ning.com/

 

[Terry94]

I have plenty of times, especially when I was a teenager that's when I was really suicidal thanks to my parents most I did was put a knife to my neck but didn't do it. I wish I was American so I could buy a gun and do it that way because I'm a pussy and want it to be harmless. Right now I'm tempted to have an overdose but I'm 50/50. Sometimes I enjoy life despite being alone other times I want to end it.

 

[lonelyfairy]

I'm not sure is this really ''thinking about ending my own life'' but recently I've felt so depressed, hopeless and lost that it wouldn't matter if something bad would accidentally happen to me, it would be just a blessing in disguise. At least then I wouldn't need to suffer anymore...

 

[Nice But Dim Jim]

I'm currently having suicidal thoughts but to be honest I think that's all they are cries for help to myself. This might sound incredibly stupid but my cat is the only sane reason I don't do something as insane as ending my life. Who would look after her? How long until someone finds her? I couldn't do that to something I love so much.

 

[constant stranger]

That's healthy, that's your unconscious keeping you alive, continue listening to your sane reasons for staying in this world. And it is not stupid to feel responsibility for a cat whom you love, that cat is family and it makes you very human, in the better sense of the word, to bond with her.

BTW, 40 years ago I used to stand on a ledge about 6 stories above the pavement and drop things to see them fall, in order to resist suicidal urges. You and your cat are way healthier off than I was.

 

[edgecrusher]

I have. Won't do it though.

I both don't want to live or die. Not sure what that means or what to do about it.