How many times have you comteplated suicide.

[Fvantom]

Its natural to think about it, the farthest Ive gotten was having the thought "all this pain could be over in seconds" but it never went last that, I realized that if I were to whack myself, I couldnt at least live this life the way I want to, and I never know how my next life will turn out, hell if I die without being happy and at peace, Ill probably end with up with my soul stuck in this world and Ill be on Ghost Hunters XD

 

[Raina]

Lately I think about it every day, like now thats how I feel.

I cant get out of my head how I dont belong here, there is nothing in this world for me, I am just sick of trying.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Twice in my life, when I was in high school and at my last job it was that bad.

@Raina, this is one time I am willing to say how wrong someone is. There is something in this world for you, it's just finding it. You might be sick of trying but if you don't you'll never find it.

 

[fox]

daily

I tried to complete it more instances than i care to admit.

 

[Dandelion Girl]

A lot of times before...

Now I don't anymore.

 

[evanescencefan91]

a couple times, 1st in 8th grade then a lot more in my junior year of high school my extensional crisis

I never decided that I would, I guess you could say I flirted with the idea like I'm sure many others have

fortuantly it's gotten better for now, I'm not as lonely which is great and I think now that I'm no longer an adolescent my hormones are ******* with me less, so I feel little more calm.

But I'm so concerned about the future, I have no idea what's going to happen, I'm ok for now, but something could happen along the road have some bad years, and then maybe I'd start thinking about it again

right now I'm so afraid of jinxing myself, thinking back to the time between my crisis and for about a year and a half I was really happy, probably happier than I am now actually, and I thought it was all behind me I thought things would always be awesome,

I don't want to have a good time/memory like that knowing that something bad comes next, I'm afraid of having another crisis,

so for now I'm pretty emotionally cautious I guess I don't know how healthy that is, maybe it is, when I'm having a bad day I try to remind myself that the feeling isn't permentant and that it will pass, when I'm happy I just try to enjoy the moment and hope it lasts,

but I know that if it doesn't it's ok too and it can still come back

 

[Yoosha]

Many times, I started thinking about it when I was 12, my first suicide attempt was when I was 15! I stopped thinking about it almost two or three years ago still depressed, sometimes wish I was never born, but I'm not going to end my life. I'm very positive this time that everything is going to be alright and very patient too lol

 

[Nolife Princess]

When I was 9 yrs old, in 5th grade.... I actually took a whole bottle of VITAMINS not knowing that a vitamin would do nothing. but it was my mindset, I wanted to die..... I look back, and all I can do is hang my head in disgust at how sad/bad my life was back then.... sad.

 

[zaphodity]

A couple of times many years ago. Glad I wasn't successful. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

 

[grainofrice24]

Every day...for the last few years. I don't want to rant but...hey...it's a forum

I've had a few people in my life (nobody really CLOSE to me, but people I knew) who called their own way out and have sometimes been almost disgusted by peoples reaction to it.

"They took the cowards way out" - Oh yeah? Here's a little exercise for you: Take a revolver put one bullet in it, spin the chamber...put it to your head and try to pull the trigger. If you can't do it, you have no right to call a suicide a coward. If you're lucky enough to survive the experience, you can call suicides cowards all you want.

"They just didn't want to deal with their problems" - Yeah? Would you hate on a boxer who got knocked down 4 times in a round and is about to swallow his 2nd tooth in 5 minutes who didn't get back up? "He just didn't want to deal with his opponent!!" If he got up he'd just take more unnecessary punishment.

"What a selfish thing to do" - Yeah right. That argument reminds me of when Michael Jackson died. The day before he died, nobody gave a honeysuckle about him. After he died, everyone is all of a sudden a die hard MJ fan with their hearts bleeding for the dead King of Pop. Give me a break. If the person thought everyone cared about them they wouldn't have done it. It's too convenient to all-of-a-sudden care about someone after they croak.

I give someone all the respect in the world for calling their own way out. When I contemplate suicide (daily) I don't think about how i'm going to do it or whatever. I just think more about the fact that sooner or later it's probably going to get the better of me. I've never tried it...because I'm too chicken to see it through. But I don't know if I'm going to be scared forever. The problems that I've created for myself have inhibited my ability to solve them. "The punishment for having the disease is being denied the cure". A vicious cycle...and I figure that suicide is the result of travelling down that vicious cycle so long that getting out is impossible (or at least seems that way from a REALISTIC perspective).

Suicide comes from realizing how deep you've dug yourself into a hole, trying your best to climb out, and only ending up deeper. I wish I could have helped some of the people who called their own way out. At times I wish someone could help me through the bad thoughts. For me personally, there are so many things that I wish I could say or do that would help me get past these feelings, but I just never seem to say or do them right, and it just ends up biting me in the ass and creating more regrets.

 

[Bones]

I have contemplated about suicide on and off all my life and even researched the less painful ways to end it.

However, on the date that I have the thought, I write it down and revisit the issue three years later.

It is a method for me - and for me only - that keeps me from thinking about it for at least three years.

For me, life or death does not matter one way or the other - I am indifferent to it.

Life has been neither fun or horrible since I am a flat liner.

If life was a scale from -10 to 10, I would say I fluctuate from either -3 to +3.

When it comes to pleasure, for some reason, I really do not have those types of feelings and this includes sex.

I feel absolutely nothing from it.

I guess my body must not produce endorphins and dopamines appropriately.

A life where there is no rewards and no pleasures really sucks in a way where everything has to be evaluated *cognitively* if something is suppose to be pleasurable or not.

Also, I have only *really* laughed hard about ten times in my life and really do not even know the pleasure of laughter.

 

[WishingWell]

I had more than 12 attempts that landed me in ICU in the Hospital. As far as how I feel now, there are days that if someone told me that I was not going to wake up tomorrow morning, I would be glad. I will not, however, plan or attempt suicide again.

 

[21acceptedbeingalone]

Ive thought about it somewhat often. Never tried anything, nor do I plan too. I still have a hope that maybe I can turn my life around, even though it sucks ass at the moment as has sucked ass for quite awhile. But I do ponder about my purpose in life and the worth of it. Life feels pretty hollow and pointless at the moment, but I keep on fighting through the tedious honeysuckle everyday.

 

[blackdot]

I used to as a kid but I couldn't do it because I never wanted to hurt my parent's feelings.
Now days I think it about it when I get extremely lonely. I figure if I hit 40 years old and still have no idea how to date then I'll do something but I still have a year and a half left before that.
That or if my parent's were to pass away. Then I would have no link to life.

Until then, I'll play Solitaire... over and over and over again.

 

[roguewave]

The first and only time I contemplated suicide was my senior year of high school.
If I ever run out of things to say then I will likely off myself.
I expect this to happen not at all or in very old age.
Alternatively, I become sick in old age and decide that I have had enough suffering and relieve myself of the burdens of illness.

 

[Musicalpsycho]

For more or less the past two years, up until about a month ago. Then I decided to live more meaningfully than most people do.

 

[middle eye]

Hi all. Newbie here. Odd that I haven't found this site earlier. Christmas really bums me out. Getting so anxious and jittery.
gah! I have so many thoughts and conflicts with this. I think of suicide alot but never take steps to carry it out. On the other hand I refuse to renew my PAL because I don't trust myself. I think I'm obsessed about it yet appreciate it in some cases. I think suicide can be admirable (Samurai-sepukku, protest-Thich Quang Duc, symbolic suicide-Jon Nödtveidt, kamikaze, bombers) but not if you're simply opting out to escape. I think more CEOs and bankers should be given a tanto and a staredown. Ultimately, I envision my suicide as "too clean." I don't have much respect for anyone or anything and need to leave more of a stain, metaphorically speaking.

 

[Anten]

I never thought about committing suicide for two reasons. It would crush my mom because she would think she was at fault for things that happened in my child hood. The second is if I killed myself I wouldn't know where i would end up, i am not a spiritual or religious person at all. I will die when I die

 

[passage]

First off, I'd like to say thanks to the moderators and creators of this site. It feels really nice to be able to say some blunt and honest crap about myself.

Once, not too long ago (about a month ago) . I had a small operation for a fractured bone, and got a prescription for some hard painkillers. Normally, I wouldnt take any medication unless I'm in a lot of pain, which I wasn't. So a few days after, I ended up buying them, a bottle of hard alcohol, and seriously thought about it. I looked up my pain killers, and some other things to see whether or not I would die, or just fresia myself even more.

Unfortunately, I did drink the alcohol, but even in my horribly drunk state I thought as rationally as I could about what course of action to take.

There were 2 reasons why I didn't do it. #1 is that my family is a pretty good family. I know my parents were the asses off to raise me and my siblings. It would be cruel to everyone in my family. But to be perfectly honest, I was sure my siblings could still go on living, as could my father. #2 I didn't know if my mother would be able to take it. She has enough problems as it is. I've seen the impact of death on part of my extended family, and I wouldn't want to do that to my family.

The reasons for contemplating it were the same as now. Nothings really changed, and although I still feel like crap most of the time, I don't think I would do it.

 

[Nessie]

I'd say far too many for the sane mind. I've even gone as far as imagining the most creative suicides. I could never do it though. My state of mind is a product of my condition. I do not fear death, in fact, I welcome it as an old friend. I have many things to do on this planet. Now is not my time.