How you dress

[theglasscell]

I was reading an article about how women judge a man a lot based on his hair and grooming. Is that true in general?

I usually have my hair like a mop. People will always say I look like the Beatles, but usually they will say it looks nice.

Do you think having hair like that gives a sloppy impression?

It's just where I live almost every guy gets a really close cut or shaves their head completely and if I got a short cut I'd feel like I would just be giving into peer pressure.

How much do clothing and hair matter to women? Like as far as dating goes?

Like I remember the last year I was married, my ex-wife kept buying me all these fancy looking clothes that fit a lot smaller than what I normally wear and it was stuff that I really didn't like wearing. But she never seemed to have trouble with the way I dressed when she met me, or the first five years I knew her.

Overall my question is should you sacrifice dressing or doing your hair in a way that you like and are happy with to increase your chances of having girls like you more?

 

[ladyforsaken]

Overall my question is should you sacrifice dressing or doing your hair in a way that you like and are happy with to increase your chances of having girls like you more?

No.

Be yourself. BUT if you feel that there is a need to change your dressing because you want to and would be comfortable doing it, then yes.

 

[theglasscell]

I'm fine with it, I was just reading some articles about that and about how women judge men based on their clothing and especially shoes.

Everyone judges people differently I guess.

Whenever I see guys on the train who are dressed like rappers and wearing big gold chains or a purple sweat suit I always think they are awesome, but I'm not really judging them from a female point of view.

Like this one lady was posting on a dating forum about how when she saw a 40 year old man carrying a skateboard and wearing skate clothes that it made her want to vomit. But when I see a guy like that I think it's awesome that they are that age and still dressing fun and riding a skateboard.

I guess it all depends on your perception of the world.

All I know is failure as far as finding a girlfriend and meeting women really gets you to question everything about yourself.

For some guys it just seems to be so effortless, they can go from one woman to another without seeming to put much thought into it.

 

[murmi97]

You never know, maybe instead of trying to clean you up, your wife wanted to see more of you by giving you those smaller sizes. Heaven knows a lot of men like seeing women wearing tight clothes.

 

[theglasscell]

Yeah that could make sense too.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I get completely different reactions based on what I dress like, so, yeah, I imagine that clothes do make an impression.

 

[theglasscell]

I never know. I got a nice new suit recently and I wore it out to dinner with my friends because it was at this fancy restaurant and I felt like they were shocked because they'd only ever seen me in a t-shirt and jeans but people seemed weirded out by it. And my one friend said that I looked like a little boy dressed in a suit that his parents made him wear. That kind of made me feel like crap, I don't know if he meant it as an insult but it was annoying.

I don't know why I'd look like a little boy anyway, I'm 6' 2" and pretty big, but it's annoying because people will say stuff all the time about me looking like a teenager or looking young. Or if I mention I have ten year old son people will be like, "Seriously? I thought you were like just out of high school."

I guess if they had "21 Jump Street" in real life that would have been the perfect job for me.

What are examples of outfits you wear and which ones get the best reactions?

Strangely enough the shirt I wear that always gets a good reaction is this old SST records t-shirt that I got in 1993, it's pea soup green and is so worn out that it's literally full of holes and barely held together, and every time I've worn it people have been like wow that shirt is awesome. Sadly I had to throw it out because it got to the point where wearing it was almost like being naked.

 

[will normal]

I guess to say how one dresses is their preference. I'll admit I never dressed to impress ANYONE. Women included. Unless I'm working, my regular everyday clothing consists of the same baggy jeans I've had for 10 years or more and band tshirts. I've had my share of relationships and they failed but I never saw it based on my personal groom and dress. To be honest, I have a great fiance I've been with for 2 1/2 years and haven't changed anything about myself, even to the point where I haven't shaved in any way, shape, or form for the last 2 years (one of the reasons was stress and the other was because I've stopped caring).

I may have gone off the deep end but I just had to say it based on my personal opinion and experience. As far as preferred, I would say look at what everyone else is doing but don't duplicate or imitate. See what's out there, combine it with what you do already, and create your own style without conforming. If there's one thing I don't stand for, it's conformity. Regardless, for the most part, just be yourself and just wing it.

 

[theglasscell]

Yeah the one thing I notice as far as conformity goes is that some guys try really hard to follow the fashion trends or dress like how the magazines tell them but they look like crap or end up looking like some guy off the Jersey Shore.

I always find it gross when people use gel or pomade or have hair that is way too styled. That's just my preference though, I grew up when Kurt Cobain was considered the coolest guy so I'm probably biased towards guys who have that grungy look.

I kind of miss that period, it was a brief time when pop culture and fashion wasn't so shallow about everything. Courtney Love could be a sex symbol looking like a total basketcase.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Glass, is it a clean mop? Clean mop, doesn't bother me. Dirty mop... well... I think you need to twist your head off and throw it in the washing machine.

 

[Felix]

I kind of miss that period, it was a brief time when pop culture and fashion wasn't so shallow about everything. Courtney Love could be a sex symbol looking like a total basketcase.

Yep, sadly that is over for good

Even kids these days dress better.

So yes, if you're looking to attract female attention you should definetly try to dress well. At least don't use teenager clothes, like cargo shorts, metal bands t-shirts... That kind of thing. Use nice colors AND match them well; this is where many people fail...

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I easily cut 15 years off of my face when I'm clean shaven, so I know what that is like.

At the same time, I don't like wearing beards, because I think they make me look scary. So clean shaven, it is.

 

[theglasscell]

Glass, is it a clean mop? Clean mop, doesn't bother me. Dirty mop... well... I think you need to twist your head off and throw it in the washing machine.

It's clean if by mop you mean my hair.

I wash it everyday when I shower but I don't use shampoo and conditioner more than three times a week as it tends to dry it out. I brush it every day though so it's really shiny.

 

[organicNYgirl]

No one ever appreciates that I still dress like I'm still in the 90's lol I like the skater look. It's what I'm comfortable with. I don't think you should ever change what you're comfortable with for anyone. There's always someone out there that will like your style. If we all looked all prim and proper all the time we'd just be carbon copies of one another. How boring is that?!?!

Though, I do appreciate a guy that looks as though he showers and brushes his teeth. Looking scruffy doesn't have to mean you forget about hygiene. Which I feel like a lot of people do.

 

[theglasscell]

I brush twice a day and floss every day, I drink a ton of coffee though so my teeth aren't always perfectly white.

I like to wear a nice suit and tie sometimes but only for special occasions or a nice dinner with someone I'm already dating. Otherwise I prefer to be comfortable.

I like the skater look too though. Or a girl who looks like a female version of the Beastie Boys.

 

[organicNYgirl]

Haha!! The Beastie Boys rock so hard!!

As a female, I've noticed that guys don't like the way I dress. I think it's mostly bc I live in NY. Everyone is expected to be so high maintenance. Like I'm expected to get all dolled up and wear high heels to go grocery shopping lol I'm a jeans and t-shirt girl. I won't change. I like when people stay true to what they are. Comfortable is good

 

[theglasscell]

I live in NY too so I know what you mean about high maintenance. Not everyone expects that though.

It's fine to get dressed up sometimes but doing that all the time is kind of ridiculous, you spend all your time following fashion trends and grooming yourself you aren't going to have time for other things.

I find it frustrating because it's hard to meet girls who are well read. So few people seem to like reading fiction unless it's stupid stuff like The Davinci Code or 50 Shades of Grey.

 

[organicNYgirl]

Most of the people I know haven't picked up a book since high school. It's sad. I love reading. I'll read just about anything I can get my hands on. Except things like 50 shades of Grey. I'm not interested in "mom porn" lol

My last handful of dates have all gone down in flames bc the men were just daft. They were so focused on how I looked (or didn't look) and they could not have cared less about wether or not I have a personality. A lot of people are so obsessed over fashion. It drives me crazy. The focus is so material driven on this island. The Hamptons are the worst lol

 

[will normal]

Woo. Skater chicks (or at least the look). I'll be honest, I like the skater look. I like a bit of the goth look as well. Not necessarily the culture but the look. I guess it's because I was one of the "different" black kids you could say. I am a half black/half Korean guy that grew up in a white town in a trailer park that listened to mostly metal, hard rock, and Weird Al with traces and elements of the underground hip-hop movement. As I got older, most of my musical tastes haven't changed but I got a lot more into hardcore punk, especially after the Afropunk movement which REALLY changed my life musically and personally. As I said before, I still dress the same as I have for at least 10 years (it's closer to about 15 now). I've had my share of dates and of course they all went south. Have a fiance now, about to celebrate 2 1/2 years on Thursday and hasn't changed me one bit. Hell, she wears my clothes sometimes.

I'm not a big reader as I'm not a big fan of books but I usually try to be philosophical with my overall views on the world and on human nature in general so I try to read what I can on the many different philosophies out there.

The missus (fiance) and I have been to NY once and that was to see a gig at the Mercury Lounge two months ago (which was one of my best gig experiences I've had in years.) Getting there and leaving was one of the most hell raising experiences I personally ever had in my life.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Glass, is it a clean mop? Clean mop, doesn't bother me. Dirty mop... well... I think you need to twist your head off and throw it in the washing machine.

It's clean if by mop you mean my hair.

I wash it everyday when I shower but I don't use shampoo and conditioner more than three times a week as it tends to dry it out. I brush it every day though so it's really shiny.

Yeah, it's kind of bad for many hair types to wash daily. Washing strips the natural oils from your hair, which is why it goes dry. I usually wash mine twice a month, and rinse conditioner through it every so often in between. If shampoo dries your hair too much, try using a rinse-out conditioner.

But yeah, clean = good to me. I don't think it really matters what people look like as long as they're clean.