I do not understand

[Guest]

I once heard someone say that it takes 2 years to make an "old" friend... you know, the type where you can just pop by on a Tuesday afternoon for tea, or those friends that'll drive you home from the surgeon after having your wisdom teeth pulled. Those friends that you can sit around and do absolutely nothing... and have a brilliant time doing it. It's a beautiful thing.

I have always wanted to experience this, but in my life, I have never had a friend for longer than a year and a half... most of the time it's usually about 10 months. And it's funny because it is always do to some external circumstance. I have a beautiful, yet young, friendship; and then he/she moves... or I move, to some other part of the country or the world. This has happened to every person I have been close to since I was the age of 9... and I truly wish I was exaggerating...

I just do not understand what I am supposed to do with this. Is it unnatural for me to feel so heartbroken? Now I am 26, and again I have just lost another set of young friendships. This time, it's me who has moved across the country. And I am again in a city I do not know.

I have no friends, no roots and no community... and it is one of the most embarrassing and painful things in my life. And I can tell that I am becoming afraid to make new friendships... to try again, and again, and again. I'm just so tired.

And there is no one for me to talk to about this. Lord, it scares the honeysuckle out of people if I let them see even a glimpse of how sad I am. No one wants to see this... And when people meet me they don't expect it. They feel I am funny and witty and intelligent. A great lady who knows wants she wants out of life... I do not let them see how sad and fearful I am. Instead I cry and hope that eventually this cycle will break, but I just don't know.

 

[Gunblaza]

Thats sad...

You should go to community things like a friendly church. It worked for me.

 

[Guest]

Thats sad...

You should go to community things like a friendly church. It worked for me.

I have too... It does not seem to matter. Everything still comes to an end. I just left behind a nice little church. Honestly, one of sweetest, most open groups of people I have ever had the pleasure to be with. Unfortunately I only got to be a part of that community for about 5 months - then I had to move. I feel like I am just supposed to be alone... that is just how it is.

 

[joeynicdao]

I felt that way growing up. I would have to switch schools while growing up and then came graduating high school then now it still happens due to how college life could be and due to some of my friends turning out to not being true friends. Even after 2 years, I thought I would know my closest friend better than I do. It gets to be hard sometimes because the quality of the friendship and of the friend has to balance with how long you've known your friend, which could take an upwards of a few years. I like the idea given about involvement in a church. Also, you could try a local gym or fitness program, or even taking a community course would help you get better acquainted with the people there. If you don't mind me asking, why did you have to move?

 

[Guest]

joeynicdao, I moved to continue my education. Time to re-enter the university life.

 

[realandtruelove]

I came to that forum because I feel lonely, I read your message as if it's expressing me or what I feel, what I had in my life. Don't think it's your own problem, there are others like you and me, who miss friends and honest people around them. Your thread gave me some energy, to search more for friends, for people who understand the meaning of friendship and love. Do the same thing, don't loose hope.

 

[Guest]

I have had some friends for nearly 5 years now, yet I still don't feel close to them

 

[Guest]

Hey, i totally understand what you're going through. It's kinda the same for me too. And there are loads other people like us! So, that's a happy thought, in a sadistic sort of way!! *jikes*
I wish i knew the answer to this and so many other messed up things in life, but sadly, i don't. Except that, hey, at least we have the internet, next time you get really lonely, just post something... and if someone's online... talk about nothing at all.. pop open a beer wherever you are.. and you're hangin out!
But don't make it a habit!!!!!! Go out.. some day you will find someone!
And having said that... I'm outta here... Maybe today some lucky person will find me!