I don't know how to cope with being ugly

[XspydurX]

I always feel ugly, even though everyone else seems to believe different.

 

[Griselda]

I always feel ugly, even though everyone else seems to believe different.

So the question is - why do you feel ugly? Don't you believe other people when they say you're not ugly? Do you think they're just saying it to be kind, rather than telling you the truth?

I feel sad for all the people here who think they're ugly, not because they are ugly (the ones I see aren't ugly at all) but because feeling like that can make you feel so unhappy. Or is it that you're unhappy about something else in your life, but you project your unhappy feelings on to your looks rather than dealing with whatever else is wrong? I'd hazard a guess that most people who think they're ugly feel like that because they're unhappy, rather than feeling unhappy because they think they're ugly (if you follow me).

I don't really understand what 'ugly' actually means to some people, anyway. Do they mean 'plain', as in 'not handsome or beautiful'? Lots of people are plain, if by plain we mean nothing special to look at, not the type that turns heads in the street. Plain is sort of ordinary, I suppose, but plain people can look as good as anyone; girls can wear makeup and both sexes can have flattering hairstyles and stylish clothes. The result still might not be movie-style glamour but it'll still be pretty **** good!

Beauty isn't always something to be envied. You only have to look at the lives of many well-known beautiful people to see they have their fair share of problems and heartbreak and disappointments in life. I know a girl who is very beautiful, but she has very little confidence and is more lonely than most people here probably are. Beauty doesn't automatically go hand in hand with confidence or good health or good luck. To some extent we all make our own luck in our lives and it has very little to do with the arrangement of our facial features.

Anyway, that's probably enough rambling on for a first post. I just wanted to share my ideas with the people reading this thread, because I know how fixed an idea people sometimes get about their looks. Next time anyone feels like that, just study your face in the mirror and then write down what you think is wrong with it, what is it about your features that you think is making you ugly. I can almost guarantee you won't be able to see very much wrong when you take a really good look! Of course, if you have something that you really feel needs help, eg dental work or a nose job, then it's up to you to decide whether you'll do something about it or not. If it would make you happier and you have the money to get it sorted, then go ahead, everyone is entitled to make the best of themselves. But please don't think you're ugly just because of some feature that's not perfect, because you're not!

 

[Four_in_the_morning]

Perhaps all the fugly people should unite against this whole media bullshit that tells us what to look like. You're only ugly if you don't receive the benefits of the beautiful.

 

[suckaG]

superficial beauty is fleeting, and subject to constantly changing definitions. and besides, the ravages of time eventually equalize all body forms and faces! muahahahahahaha!




[*innovative breakthroughs in the fields of aesthetic surgery/genetic streamlining notwithstanding]

 

[futurecatlady]

Perhaps all the fugly people should unite against this whole media bullshit that tells us what to look like. You're only ugly if you don't receive the benefits of the beautiful.

Yes, agreed! Beauty is such a silly and man-made concept. What animal in its right mind would reject a healthy, viable mate based purely on surface physical characteristics? It's preposterous.

 

[Badjedidude]

I feel beautiful, but others constantly remind me that I'm not.

fresia 'EM.

 

[suckaG]

fresia 'EM.

literally!!!

...no? (d)

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^No, you're on the right track.

hehehehehHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

 

[boochan]

I can’t help not placing too much weight on what people say. I feel so hideous most of time now that I hardly leave the house; I’m skipping classes everyday(now I'm failing in my studies), canceling meetings with friends and hiding from people I know.

It’s a struggle for me to wake up everyday feeling a HUGE deal of anxiety which I reduce by excessively grooming to end up feeling uglier.

I'm scared to leave the house what should I do?

Relax man there is always someone worse then you arould.

 

[sesshypwnstheworld]

just be like me and not give a **** :| i know where your coming from cause i know im ugly too and we are all human and we all have a desire to be pretty but really the best thing to do is just stop being your own worst enemy, stop bashing on yourself and calling yourself ugly instead of saying "i hate my hair" say "i like the color of my eyes" or "i like my figure" something positive about yourself that you like, just incase you cant be like me and not care

 

[tehdreamer]

I cope by knowing that I've seen people that I consider ugly end up in lots of friends and loving relationships. People were able to see past outside appearances and like that person for whatever they were on the inside.

And I know I'm awesomesauce on the inside, and someday someone will be able to see that.

Really, friends don't care if you look like a turd and have 10 eyes. When someone wants to hang out with you, they just want to hang out with you. I don't worry at all about my looks when it comes to friends.

 

[Brother Karl]

I wish you guys could help me; I feel so alone and scared. Right now my main concern is my studies. I'm in dental school(3rd year) and about to fail because of one subject, prosthodontics lab, I have a total of 5/35 I know that I still got 65% left but I missed so many days(as I'm too scared to deal with people directly) that I have no Idea what I'm doing, and it's a very difficult subject were getting 40/65 is somewhat of an achievement.

In case I did fail(hopefully I won't), I'm not sure what would be the most difficult thing to live with; weather it's the fact that I've wasted three years of my life, the fact that I can't function in society or the guilt toward my parents, the only people in this world that care for me and even love me. they have so much faith and hope on me not to mention the money wasted on a pathetic looser like myself.

I want to tell them badly about how I feel, about what kind of hell I'm going through but I'm pretty sure that they won't understand

You should at least try to talk to your parents about how you feel. I think that it will make you feel better. And I would bet money on it that they'll understand better than you think they would. Try it.

 

[blaah]

let me tell you something, confidence and charm really makes a person more attractive than they are. if youre physically ugly, be sexy on the inside. like, if youre a fat guy with a bunch of acne and oily hair, you should have this stuck up dominant personality, and if youre some skinny kid with a horse face, you should pick up a guitar and act as artsy as possible. it really works!

 

[Nina]

Beauty is absolutely in the eye of the beholder. I know it's an old and frazzled cliche but it's the truth. I think "beauty" is a "vibe" that comes from within. There are the glossy magazine models that hold to a standard, but people I want to be close too, have to have something completely different for me, and THAT has to come from within, no matter what the outside looks like, it's that inner vibe that calls me...

It's not just me either, a lot of folks I know feel the same way.

 

[Knight]

Beauty is absolutely in the eye of the beholder. I know it's an old and frazzled cliche but it's the truth. I think "beauty" is a "vibe" that comes from within. There are the glossy magazine models that hold to a standard, but people I want to be close too, have to have something completely different for me, and THAT has to come from within, no matter what the outside looks like, it's that inner vibe that calls me...

It's not just me either, a lot of folks I know feel the same way.

**** then my "vibe" must be honeysuckle.

 

[Samuel Lonewolf]

"Beauty is nothing, beauty won't stay. You don't know how lucky you are to be ugly, because if people like you then you know it's for something else."

 

[JAYtheMAGNIFICENT]

I cope by staying in my house as much as possible. And by never talking to girls.

 

[suckaG]

I cope with a dash of obscure self-deprecating wit and the philosophy that those with nothing to loose [by virtue of our aesthetic quirkiness, shall we say] have at least a little to gain.

now if only I could unfold my tongue just enough to become coherent while conversing. that would be cool.

 

[LUCK]

You don't cope with being ugly, you try to improve however you can.

I think that after performing 4 plastic surgeries I will become very attractive (8.5/10 on hotnes scale). Right now I am about 6.

I will do these surgeries and the risk is high of course, but I have nothing else left to do. Hot women won't settle anything less than an equivalent in terms of looks (guy with a face like Edward Cullen) or a rich guy to use him as a money sponge (not my thing).

If you want to feel loved by opposite sex, you HAVE to be attractive. If you are ugly, you can get a ugly partner, but they will be SETTLING FOR YOU. They know they can't get any better, so they settle. Do you want to settle?

 

[Pheenix]

Ehh... Just be careful with that plastic surgery okay?
No they don't settle, they prefer your positive characteristics.