I hate myself.

[Harkat]

If you desire to become a better or changed person, perhaps one that doesn't hate themselves, then perhaps you should allow the change to happen rather than asking others to help you change then not following through.
IMO, love doesn't need a reason to exist. If you want love, find it. If you desire peace, find it.
You might not be able to control the world outside you but at the very least you can control yourself and how you respond to the world.

---

Well I hate myself so if I hate me how ill anyone else like me?

I am pretty smart in some ways. If there was anything about myself to make people like me I would have found and exploited it. But there is not. I am a pig ugly thick *******.

Think about what you just said
You have practically stated the answer to your question, called yourself smart and then told everyone that you're stupid.

 

[Lost Drifter]

In the meantime continue imposing your own expectations upon James instead of listening to him.

That’s the problem. We are all trying to show him we care in our own different ways; there is no necessarily correct way to show our concern, not yours, not mine and not anyone else’s. Belittling others for having a different approach is unfair to everyone, especially James, whether he takes our advice or not we just want him to know that we care. I like to think of this forum as a family, we’ve got a great range of ages and a lot of different personalities, some people want to listen and some want to offer up advice, I appreciate all varieties and am glad they are here.

James I apologise for this mini-hijack, I hope you feel better about yourself in time mate.

 

[Equinox]

My personal theory: The best way to reply to things like this is by first offering support and understanding, then ask if the OP would like some advice on the subject. If they reply with a yes, then go ahead and give your advice. If not, keep them to yourself, because the OP won't listen to them, might even be offended by them, and you're wasting your time.

Quite often when I have stuff to complain about and feel low in spirits, I just need to vent and get some sympathy - not advice. I know the advice. I've heard them all before. Many are reasonable, a few are good, and a few come off as downright insulting. If I'm looking for advice, I'll ask for it. If not, I just want to know that someone reads what I've got to say and acknowledge that I'm a real person.

Oh, and PS. Nobody's been "belittling" anyone. In the end, we all just try to do our best and help each other in whichever way we know. At least I like to think that's what we're doing.

 

[SophiaGrace]

My personal theory: The best way to reply to things like this is by first offering support and understanding, then ask if the OP would like some advice on the subject. If they reply with a yes, then go ahead and give your advice. If not, keep them to yourself, because the OP won't listen to them, might even be offended by them, and you're wasting your time.

Thank you for understanding where I am coming from.

 

[blackdot]

Quite often when I have stuff to complain about and feel low in spirits, I just need to vent and get some sympathy - not advice. I know the advice. I've heard them all before.

yeah.. that's the problem for a lot of us on here. We have all heard the advice. We all know it by heart now.
The sad thing is that most of the advise is completely wrong. None is ever correct.
But remember to never point out that the advice is wrong or the person giving advice will stop talking to you. *laughs*

 

[Taylormeister]

no I am not pissing and moaning or looking for sympathy. I really do hate myself, I live in the body that I find repulsive and grotesque.

People keep saying "you got to love yourself" and all that bollocks. Well I hate myself so if I hate me how ill anyone else like me?

I am pretty smart in some ways. If there was anything about myself to make people like me I would have found and exploited it. But there is not. I am a pig ugly thick *******.

I am just sat here waiting for death. because that is the only next big event in my life. Between now and death there is nothing. I am nothing waiting for nothing. I only really exist to me. There is not a human on this earth that knows I am even alive. Sometimes I doubt it.

Your all fake. You all have someone.

Let it go man, just let it go. All that negative energy and hatred you have towards yourself, sweep it under the bridge. Nobody knows more about hating yourself then a guy like me because I have been exactly where you are. I still have my issues to work through but I started to accept myself for who I am years ago. You need to find things that make you happy in life and focus on that.. it could be anything like working out or playing a musical instrument. Stop telling yourself you are ugly right now, just stop it because deep down you know that is total bs. Who cares what people think of you man. Do what is right to better who you are as a person, and your life. Don't ever try to change yourself to fit in to a crowd. I sincerely wish you the best and hope you can get better.

 

[Lost Drifter]

My personal theory:

You’re entitled it. Doesn’t mean that anyone else is wrong though. What irked me about this thread is that it turned into a "I’m right and your wrong" tirade which yes, is belittling. Everyone wanted to help in their own way, if the OP want or doesn’t want the help then that is up to him but it shouldn’t be for other people to decide. Sometimes its hard to know how to respond, some want advice and some don’t, not everyone is the same but at the end of the day people are trying to help and that shouldn’t be discouraged by anyone.

Perhaps we need a sub-forum for venting but not wanting advice?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Theres soft love and tough love.

Our troubles are of our own making.

I have to want it. I have to do it for
Me. Not for Renae, not for KIMI.

Some fucken old fart told me i couldn't
do it. I didn't have the balls or was man enough.

STOCKHOLM SYNDROME...

Im such a bewilderment prick.

 

[Equinox]

What irked me about this thread is that it turned into a "I’m right and your wrong" tirade which yes, is belittling.

No, it really didn't, but you're entitled to believe so. I have no idea where you're coming from with this observation, to be honest. This thread, as most threads in here, has turned into a discussion of what sort of reply one thinks is most helpful and least harmful when the OP is venting. I can't see anywhere that anyone has said "I'm right and you're wrong". All I can see is Sophia pointing out that the OP didn't ask for advice, and you flipping out about it. If disagreeing with each other equals belittling each other, then we have a whole world full of people who belittle each other all the time; in which case it is perfectly normal, and nothing to get worked up about.

P.S. In general, I agree that there's nothing wrong with giving advice, and I've done it myself (although it was most likely a waste of my time). Being new here, however, you might now know that the OP has posted a lot of threads like these, always full of advice like these, and always diregarding them - which has made us understand that he just wants to vent.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

JAR OF HEARTS....

 

[Lost Drifter]

Ah shucks...I just wanted to help James (sorry mate)...I didn't get that memo. Someone could have at least told me

 

[cumulus.james]

Okay. I'm fake.

Now what?

no I am not pissing and moaning or looking for sympathy. I really do hate myself, I live in the body that I find repulsive and grotesque.

People keep saying "you got to love yourself" and all that bollocks. Well I hate myself so if I hate me how ill anyone else like me?

I am pretty smart in some ways. If there was anything about myself to make people like me I would have found and exploited it. But there is not. I am a pig ugly thick *******.

I am just sat here waiting for death. because that is the only next big event in my life. Between now and death there is nothing. I am nothing waiting for nothing. I only really exist to me. There is not a human on this earth that knows I am even alive. Sometimes I doubt it.

Your all fake. You all have someone.

James,
I love and care about you more than you can know.

I am not fake.

and I too am an *******! (

why would you care about me I am an *******.

---

Okay. I'm fake.

Now what?

your not fake, I meant everyone else.

---

Because I am an ******* too!
But I am not fake.

---

So after you finished snapping at everyone do you mind telling us what’s causing you to feel like this? You know with a bit of time and effort our bodies can change, a lot of us have been in that place, a lot of us are still there but with some work there is hope for all.

Has someone said something about your appearance or are you your own worst critic? I know its easier to tell you not to be so hard on yourself but I’d rather you to work on changing so these feelings aren’t with you forever.

That’s irrelevant. If someone is going to post accusations of people being fake then I’d like to know why, just because he didn’t ask for advice it doesn’t mean I don’t care to know what’s wrong. Showing concern and offering friendly support doesn't cost anything after all.

I dont think I meant fake. I am thick. All you seem to get on here is stuff about "oh try to be more positive" and all that. When people say that stuff they clearly do not understand depression. You CANT think more positively that is why you are depressed! Much of the time those same people talk about their friends and family and stuff, which would explain why they do not understand what it is like to be on our own and isolated all day, everyday. I go weeks sometimes without talking, it got to a point this time last year I would not answer the phone because I literally was losing the ability to talk clearly and people could not understand me - now that's alone!

I apologize if I caused offense but it rather illustrates my point, I am unlikable and have no redeeming qualities.

 

[Harkat]

James you come across to me as a person who just wants to prove that you are a piece of honeysuckle and nobody can understand you.
Did you post this all for another reason?

Now I'm not trying to be mean but rather help you in my own way because if nobody here cared or liked you in any way or form, would they even bother talking to you?
To me, everyone here is here because they are struggling in their own way and they are all trying to help each other get through this pain, sadness and emptiness/depression.
So what happens next is up to you.

Personally, I like and respect you. You have made it this far in your life/existence without killing yourself which at the very least shows some kind of positive attribute. You are at least a brave person for being honest to complete strangers and you clearly haven't found yourself so repulsive that you have killed yourself, for which is very admirable. To push on in a hopeless, hateful, pointless and disgucting, fudged up existence then you are one of the braver souls I have known.
Whether you believe or listen to anything said here is up to you and in the end only you can make your existence better.

 

[LoneKiller]

Hi cumulus.james

I'm going to be completely honest with you. I am not fake. Everything I say and do comes from the heart. Getting upset with you over your accusations is only going to cause me mental grief.

I'm no Keith Urban myself, but constantly looking at yourself in that light is going to make you so depressed that you won't believe it. Far worse than you perception of yourself and others as it stands right now.

You are suffering right now, and spreading the negativity around the forum is not unusual for someone who is in pain. These members are here to help you. The fact that you feel that we are fake or not, doesn't make any of the help offered to you any less genuine. What's important is that you get well. Who gives a honeysuckle were it comes from, as long as you find some degree of solace in it.

Be Well.
LK

 

[cumulus.james]

Hi cumulus.james

I'm going to be completely honest with you. I am not fake. Everything I say and do comes from the heart. Getting upset with you over your accusations is only going to cause me mental grief.

I'm no Keith Urban myself, but constantly looking at yourself in that light is going to make you so depressed that you won't believe it. Far worse than you perception of yourself and others as it stands right now.

You are suffering right now, and spreading the negativity around the forum is not unusual for someone who is in pain. These members are here to help you. The fact that you feel that we are fake or not, doesn't make any of the help offered to you any less genuine. What's important is that you get well. Who gives a honeysuckle were it comes from, as long as you find some degree of solace in it.

Be Well.
LK

Hey thanks for your reply. Read up though, i did kinda apologize for saying fake, it is not what I meant. I was drunk so not thinking clearly.

 

[LoneKiller]

Hi cumulus.james

I'm going to be completely honest with you. I am not fake. Everything I say and do comes from the heart. Getting upset with you over your accusations is only going to cause me mental grief.

I'm no Keith Urban myself, but constantly looking at yourself in that light is going to make you so depressed that you won't believe it. Far worse than you perception of yourself and others as it stands right now.

You are suffering right now, and spreading the negativity around the forum is not unusual for someone who is in pain. These members are here to help you. The fact that you feel that we are fake or not, doesn't make any of the help offered to you any less genuine. What's important is that you get well. Who gives a honeysuckle were it comes from, as long as you find some degree of solace in it.

Be Well.
LK

Hey thanks for your reply. Read up though, i did kinda apologize for saying fake, it is not what I meant. I was drunk so not thinking clearly.

Yeah, I can relate.

 

[Rebelwithoutacause]

I don't think i'm too fake
i hate myself too you know I'm saving up for drastic plastic surgery a whole new identity