F
fox
Guest
Not even my dogs, who are so dear to me, who I love and care about so much, they are the world to me... I can't even convince myself to go on for them any more. I'm a shitty owner any way. I do my best, but I'm usually feeling too horrible to go outside so I can walk them.. They love me unconditionally, they cuddled up next to me earlier when I was laying in bed crying, they would not leave my side, but this is because they are naive. They don't understand what a worthless piece of honeysuckle I am and how much better their lives could be
I don't know what to do from here. I've tried so hard to be strong, I've tried to do everything right... it is never enough. I am exhausted and tired of trying. Despite what I know rationally, I don't think I'm even human. Something is missing in me. It might be all the head injuries I had in my life, it might be I was born without it, but I am not whole. No matter what I do, no matter what meds I am on, the moment I think I might be heading to be stable, my volatility shows again. I wreck every friendship I have. I lose everyone I ever become close to. The common denominator is me. I'm so tired of it all.
I don't know what to do from here. I've tried so hard to be strong, I've tried to do everything right... it is never enough. I am exhausted and tired of trying. Despite what I know rationally, I don't think I'm even human. Something is missing in me. It might be all the head injuries I had in my life, it might be I was born without it, but I am not whole. No matter what I do, no matter what meds I am on, the moment I think I might be heading to be stable, my volatility shows again. I wreck every friendship I have. I lose everyone I ever become close to. The common denominator is me. I'm so tired of it all.