I like to get killed so I don't have2 deal with this B.S.

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Bluerose

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I hope someday I'll B careless & get hit by a car or have a tragic accident. Everyday I think about how2 end my life quickly & painlessly. I'm sick of dealing with this bullshit!! Nobody really gives a fresia!! I'll just keep praying2 have a tragic accident or do the job myself..
hang.gif
 
Bluerose said:
I hope someday I'll B careless & get hit by a car or have a tragic accident. Everyday I think about how2 end my life quickly & painlessly. I'm sick of dealing with this bullshit!! Nobody really gives a fresia!! I'll just keep praying2 have a tragic accident or do the job myself..

Girlie, nothing is more precious then your own life, No matter how honeysuckle things are, where there is life, there is hope.
Everyone feels low and down at some point and feel that they want out, most of the people on this board have probably felt this way too at somepoint or other.
To say that no one gives a fresia is wrong.
YOU dont think they do, think about it.
 
Theres a solution for everything. You just need to find it. If you cant find it then make your own to live.
 
Bluerose said:
I hope someday I'll B careless & get hit by a car or have a tragic accident. Everyday I think about how2 end my life quickly & painlessly. I'm sick of dealing with this bullshit!! Nobody really gives a fresia!! I'll just keep praying2 have a tragic accident or do the job myself.

I know the feeling to well. Somedays we just have to put one foot in from of the other until things look a little less gloomy even though it appears that it never will.

I am sorry that you are having such a rough time.
 
Unacceptance said:
WHo cares whether random people give a honeysuckle or not? fresia them. Be your own stronger person.

Yeah.

Other people are just other people. They weren't born to be Your friend or even to be nice to You, but there is always someone who likes You for who You are, Rose. I know unbelievably great, kind and caring people who everyone treats like crap anyway, so simply being a nice person probably makes it even worse for You, around most people. Being a nice person doesn't matter to most people, and that's their loss. All we can do, as i see it, is keep looking for the people who are just like ourselves.
 
What can be so hard to deal with that you would want to resort to death? The only way death is the answer is if you are in constant physical agony, otherwise, snap out of it :p realise whats really important.
 
Bluerose, You give a fresia. About yourself I mean. That's why your hurting cos you give a fresia. Be nice to be a complete loser and not give a fresia about our self would it not?

I have felt the same as you many many times be for. I have even got so drunk be for with the intention of ending it all :( Am happy now to say I passed out be for I could do anything as so stupid. Lucky for me I can not take my drink.

For me life is not so long. What ever your feeling can not be worth making a decision like that. Its irreversibly for starters.

I have thought what if someone had a gun and I could die trying to save other ppl. Be good to go out for a course. But actually most of the time I like living and want to see where life takes me. (whoooo, look at me with the positive vibes :D)

A lot of years ago I could not had gave a honeysuckle about living or dieing. I had just moved out of home and had fresia all. Not many friends left, No GF any moor. At the time I was used to having a GF. I also had very little money. And I mean I some days did not have a nuff for a proper meal. There was hard days for me. One day I got stoned with some friends. I was also drinking. I had what you called a whitey, Some ppl may call it black death or what ever you call it, it don't really matter. But smoking the weed and drinking did not make me feel to good.

How can I explain what happend. I kinder went inside myself. I could feel my hart beat and I was not breathing. I could hear one of my mates saying Johnny, Johnny. YO, You OK mate? The other mate was passed out somewhere. I know I was not breathing. I keep telling my self to breath. Normally this drugs don't kill anyone. But to this day I know I could had stopped breathing if I wonted to. I had total control wither or not I could breath. In that stat I realized that I was bothered about living and I told my self to breath. I then come back too and fro up (was sick) I felt quite honeysuckle for a few days after. But you know I learnt a lessen there. That I was bothered if I lived or not. I just was not happy with my life as it was. I am not happy with some aspects of it now. But I am a lot better of then I was then. I also learnt never to drink and smoke weed at the same time lol. Not that I do that anymore. Having a drink is all I do sometime now.
 
Bluey said:
"be a complete loser"
"I was used to having a GF."
Don't ever mention that again!!
mad.gif
That's another reason that I want2 die... I never experience a relationship, I always get rejected!! It's very embarrassing 2never have a bf... I'm in so much pain I just want2 end it all...
36_1_441.gif
 
Bluerose said:
Bluey said:
"be a complete loser"
"I was used to having a GF."
Don't ever mention that again!!
mad.gif
That's another reason that I want2 die... I never experience a relationship, I always get rejected!! It's very embarrassing 2never have a bf... I'm in so much pain I just want2 end it all...
36_1_441.gif

Hay, Don't be beating yourself up like this. Its just not worth it.

BIG (((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) FOR YOU.

Come on now. Nothing is worth getting this down about.

The last relationship I was in ended when I was 18. It lasted 9 moths and the one be for that the year be for lasted the same amount of time.

Since that time, just after the last GF I had to go into hospital and have surgery. I finished work and then shortly after that moved out into my own place. My life and me has changed 10 fold since I was last in a relationship. I don't hold out that I well ever meat someone to spend the rest of my life with anymore.

Something inside tells me that I well spent the rest of my life alone. Am not being depressing when I tell you this. Its just the way I feel. Am 33 now, nearly 34. If I have not had a GF in the last 16 years what chance is there in meeting someone in the next 16 years. Well there is always hope.

But even with all that in mined I still believe I can have a good life. Whither I share that life with someone or not I intend to life the best way I can.

It would be nice to cuddle someone sometimes. This I would very much like. It dose not make you a loser cos your single. There are plenty of ppl out there that never meat the right person that have a very good life. Most ppl end up on there own in the end anyway. There partner passers away early then them. At lest you and me well all ready know how to take care of ourselves with out someone else there.

If your really this down and your thinking things like ending it then I beg you to go see your doctor first. Pick up the phone to someone like a helpline.

Go Here

Pleas, you have nothing to lose.

I do still think of this things. Like ending it all. But I know I would never try it. I made that decision a long time ago now. I don't always like this life but I know I am not going to do anything stupid like that. So I Guss even though sometimes I feel sorry for myself I just try and get on with it.

I would so put my arms around you if I was there. I think a HUG would do us both some good.

I don't know whats on the other side. I do have a faith that ppl like us well be given something absolutely amazing for the hurt and pain we have felt down here.

ppl become well know for lots of things. Our queen we have here in the UK knights ppl for the good deeds they do for others and for struggles that a person makes. You Vera really see a normal person get knighted. When every single day there is ppl like me and you that have our own battles going on that you have to be far far stronger to win then most of this big stars have to be who get given this awards. Our award well be given in the next place. You hold on and I am sure you well think this life was worth it.

You are a special person and the pain you are feeling well make you stronger to help other ppl one day. Have you thought of doing some voluntary work? You have to find away where you not having this feelings. Anything that takes your mined off it.

When you read this make a plan to go for a walk or somthing. Take some deep breaths and try and think of the good things that this life has. there is many many good things. I went round a big tourist place in this big house that's near me. there was a lad probably a bit younger then me. He was a very big guy and you can see he struggles with he's weight. He looked at me and gave me a little smile. I thought to my self if he has ever been to this place where where at here on the net. See I did not look at him badly. He was doing something I would not had done alone. Well I might now I have seen him there. If he can do it then I can. I only looked at him with respect and the thought of he seems a nice guy to be friends with.

You don't know what affect your actions and the things you do well have on other ppl. I to that guy am a perfect stranger. But he for just the breathiest of interaction from nothing moor then a smile gave me some inspiration.

God bliss you and be as happy as you can :) Nothing is worth feeling this down for :)
 
Someone does give a fresia, I'm sure you know it inside. If only your mother. Ya know what? It may seem that noone in the world gives a honeysuckle about you, but if you yourself just be nice or do something helpful or pleasant for someone just because, simply to make feel better at least for a moment, without expecting to get anything in return, even so much as thanks, you will feel better yourself. That way you know there's at least one person who can do genuinely unselfish things - YOU! :D I don't know, it's comforting in a strange way. Even if you don't receive any gratitude for what you did.

Oh and don't worry so much about not having a relationship. I'm 25 and never had a bf too. Big deal. Yes, I would like to have this experience that most people my age already had, but heck, I'm not going to cry if I don't get it right away. Hopefully, some day I will, wouldn't want to miss out on it completely. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

(Btw that big crying emoticon is very cute, you just kinda want to take it and pat it on the head :p )
 
Bluerose said:
Don't ever mention that again!!
mad.gif
That's another reason that I want2 die... I never experience a relationship, I always get rejected!! It's very embarrassing 2never have a bf... I'm in so much pain I just want2 end it all...
36_1_441.gif

If you want a shoulder to cry on, msg me. My offer of friendship is not to be taken lightly. Its sad, I have no strong ties with anyone. Can there ever exist a true friend? I'd like to tell you that its me, but I fear you've reached a point where you're so far gone theres nothing I can say.

Well I used to know this girl for a couple years. She went through lots of abusive relationships and called me to talk about them.

Oh yeah don't forget the law of attraction. Likes attracts like. When you feel this way you attract others who feel this way or worse. Even this girl I knew was such an example, because we're both so kind it could've just easily been me who got into all those abusive relatonships, but I remained alone... much as you have.
 
stella said:
this is exactly how i feel too. i've hit rock bottom, and sick of living. i walk across roads now and purposely dont look to see if any traffic is coming, and hope i dont reach the other side.

I do feel that way many many times, Stella, but theres a side of me thats very enthusiastic about enjoying life. I just hate the world around me, the shallowness of everyone, the way things are done, how everyone is distant and a stranger.

Keep in mind suicide doesn't necessarily end your life, there could be a whole eternity for you to deal with!

Life is a room full of junk that just keeps getting darker. You stumble around until you find the light switch. When you do the light is unbelievably bright, brighter then people whose lives have always exists in a well lit room.

I have one last thing to say to all of you:

[youtube]MrTyeqoXgzk[/youtube]
 
Life is a room full of junk that just keeps getting darker. You stumble around until you find the light switch. When you do the light is unbelievably bright, brighter then people whose lives have always exists in a well lit room.


very nice saying ..wow you can be poetic

yes bluerose you do have to give a fresia if others care. You need love. Dont give up hope. Remain open to love and people.. it will find you...and like catharsis says your light will be bright....when you finally find the love right for you.
 
stella said:
Bluerose said:
I hope someday I'll B careless & get hit by a car or have a tragic accident. Everyday I think about how2 end my life quickly & painlessly. I'm sick of dealing with this bullshit!! Nobody really gives a fresia!! I'll just keep praying2 have a tragic accident or do the job myself..
hang.gif

this is exactly how i feel too. i've hit rock bottom, and sick of living. i walk across roads now and purposely dont look to see if any traffic is coming, and hope i dont reach the other side.

Do you know what probably well happen if you do get hit by a car. You probably well not be killed instantly. You most probably well just end up braking a few bones and be in absolut agony in tell the ambulance gets there to give you meds.

Then you well have to spend moths recovering. Maybe even having to have someone take you to the toilet and feed you. I have had to have ppl bath me and take me to the toilet be for. Let me tell you, Its no fun. And this is if you do make a full recovery. You may end up making yourself disabled in some way for the rest of your life. So then you well be as you are now but unable to walk in some way are even have to have carers to come and bath you and stuff everyday for the rest of your life.

Pleas, Look be for you cross the road. Its not going to be the instant kill to happens that you think. If I may say so, That's just wishful thinking. Suicide is never that easy. Its always a gut ranching thing of pain and you always leave heartache behind.
 
jales said:
very nice saying ..wow you can be poetic

Thanks, but I don't know if its practical.

Its the idea that things happen in our lives to teach us stuff and our negative experiences can be turned to our advantage.

I'm not sure if it works right or not. My years of solitude, for example, have made me more humble, creative, sensitive, and loving, but I'm not sure if anything good will come from an abundance of those qualities.


"The light is brightest when the darkness is darkest"

This is just moderation. No one appreciates food like the starving man, but eat your favorite food 24/7 and you get sick of it.

Yes its all stuff we know, but take for granted.

Bluey said:
Do you know what probably well happen if you do get hit by a car?

Sue the driver and become a millionaire? lol
 
Bluerose said:
I hope someday I'll B careless & get hit by a car or have a tragic accident. Everyday I think about how2 end my life quickly & painlessly. I'm sick of dealing with this bullshit!! Nobody really gives a fresia!! I'll just keep praying2 have a tragic accident or do the job myself..
hang.gif

Believe me I know what you mean. Every day seems a complete chore for me. I'm only content when I'm asleep so I try to make that as often as possible.
 
I want to kill my self to! I hate this life! We work so hard for nothing. I love but no one loves me. I can't breath. I don't want to breath. What is the point of life? We live until we die. We work so hard and then all our work goes to waste! Why do we work so hard?? We are going to die anyway. There is no point to this.
 
What is the point of life? We live until we die. We work so hard and then all our work goes to waste!

To be fair, not everything you do in life will go to waste when you die, there're some things you could do that can be left over to other people.
 

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