S
Stars
Guest
"Dear Evan,
Why do dating experts for men teach them how to get the hottest women possible? Unlike women, they are rarely told to date someone they might not find attractive at first because she might grow on him. As an average looking woman (I am fit, well-groomed and fashionable, but I know that I am not a bombshell. I don’t make people gag, but I don’t turn heads either.), I feel that no man is going to find me desirable because all men feel that they deserve and can get the hottest woman out there. Just where does that leave women like me?
Tia-Maria"
"Here’s an excerpt from Why You’re Still Single:
“I am not suggesting that men are pure objects of lust with all the depth of a bathtub. Nor am I suggesting that men don’t have the ability to love and accept any physical imperfections. They can and they do.
Just not as much as women. At least in my experience as a dating coach where I have the unique privilege of being given access to some of my clients’ online dating accounts. And after years of doing this, I’m still flabbergasted that no matter how unattractive a man is – no matter how little hair is on his head, or how much on his back – he STILL has the same twentysomething supermodels on his favorites list as if he was Colin Farrell.
Yes, Shallow Hal lives – and I believe he lives in a majority of American men. Men who are 5s want women who are 10s. And women who are 5s are often left out in the cold, at least in L.A., where I live…
If anybody should be judged harshly, it’s men for refusing to let women age gracefully. Most men do not break out of gender roles and societal expectations. So while you may know a handful of men who don’t care about looks, they are rarities. They are the gold standard, the type that every woman should be striving to date. But if you’re under the illusion that they grow on trees, it’s time to wake up and smell the Kiehl’s anti-aging lotion. The number of guys who are “above” the whole looks thing may fill a classroom, but not a stadium, and definitely not a big enough portion of the male population to suggest any type of trend.
In a weak moment, I bet that even the most non-judgmental guy around would say that he wants a mind, soul, and body connection – but only if she takes care of her body.
So, Tia-Maria, why do dating experts tell men how to get the hottest women possible? …"
Source: http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/if-men-like-hot-women-where-does-that-leave-an-average-woman/
Very interesting...reason why I posted this is because I searched it up after someone told me that I am very plain...oh so very, very, very, VERRRRYYYY plain...and it's true. I'm invisible even though I work hard to stand out or "be myself" or whatever...kind of disheartening...but an interesting read that might enlighten or make men and women think...
Here's another thing that sounds like me:
"Are you plain; does it ever depress you?
I’m very plain looking. I’m thin and I workout and sometimes when I have a pretty dress and high heels on, I think that I might get some flirty eyes from men, but men never look at me that way. Usually I’m fine with it; I really never think about it. But, today I went out with a female friend and she got so much male attention and two men even came up to her and gave her business cards. I didn’t even know there were women who lived like this. I guess it could get annoying, but I was so jealous and I felt very depressed about being so plain looking.
I’ve lived 29 years in this beauty obsessed culture. I wish I could feel what it’s like just once to be beautiful. Most of the time, I never think about it, but sometimes I really grieve not being pretty. How do others deal with this?
I’ve only gotten 3 answers to this question and I’m already annoyed. I just hate it when people say to accentuate your features. I already do that to the best of my abilities. I know a lot of women who do this and trust me there are men who judge them harshly everyday or don’t even give them a second look. There is absolutely nothing in the world I could ever ever ever do to get the kind of attention that my friend got today. She is beautiful and men like to look at her and flirt with her. That was not my lot in life; my genetics did not conspire to make me attractive. No haircut or lip gloss is going to make a difference. Sometimes that makes me sad. I’ve never broached the subject with any of my female friends b/c it would be awkward as ass to say “how do you deal with being plain.” I just wanted to know if other people feel this way."
To be honest...I gave up a while about dating...the fish aren't biting and I do my best to focus on myself only...just kinda sucks that without any wrongdoing I'm reminded of how undesirable I am...it's a really bad feeling I get in my chest...just feel bad about myself... Wish people would not wake me up from this happy fantasy life I try to lead...things like this, I just try to shove it in the back of my mind because the truth...I can't handle the truth...
Source: http://eddie.web.id/beauty-business-cards/are-you-plain-does-it-ever-depress-you.html
Why do dating experts for men teach them how to get the hottest women possible? Unlike women, they are rarely told to date someone they might not find attractive at first because she might grow on him. As an average looking woman (I am fit, well-groomed and fashionable, but I know that I am not a bombshell. I don’t make people gag, but I don’t turn heads either.), I feel that no man is going to find me desirable because all men feel that they deserve and can get the hottest woman out there. Just where does that leave women like me?
Tia-Maria"
"Here’s an excerpt from Why You’re Still Single:
“I am not suggesting that men are pure objects of lust with all the depth of a bathtub. Nor am I suggesting that men don’t have the ability to love and accept any physical imperfections. They can and they do.
Just not as much as women. At least in my experience as a dating coach where I have the unique privilege of being given access to some of my clients’ online dating accounts. And after years of doing this, I’m still flabbergasted that no matter how unattractive a man is – no matter how little hair is on his head, or how much on his back – he STILL has the same twentysomething supermodels on his favorites list as if he was Colin Farrell.
Yes, Shallow Hal lives – and I believe he lives in a majority of American men. Men who are 5s want women who are 10s. And women who are 5s are often left out in the cold, at least in L.A., where I live…
If anybody should be judged harshly, it’s men for refusing to let women age gracefully. Most men do not break out of gender roles and societal expectations. So while you may know a handful of men who don’t care about looks, they are rarities. They are the gold standard, the type that every woman should be striving to date. But if you’re under the illusion that they grow on trees, it’s time to wake up and smell the Kiehl’s anti-aging lotion. The number of guys who are “above” the whole looks thing may fill a classroom, but not a stadium, and definitely not a big enough portion of the male population to suggest any type of trend.
In a weak moment, I bet that even the most non-judgmental guy around would say that he wants a mind, soul, and body connection – but only if she takes care of her body.
So, Tia-Maria, why do dating experts tell men how to get the hottest women possible? …"
Source: http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/if-men-like-hot-women-where-does-that-leave-an-average-woman/
Very interesting...reason why I posted this is because I searched it up after someone told me that I am very plain...oh so very, very, very, VERRRRYYYY plain...and it's true. I'm invisible even though I work hard to stand out or "be myself" or whatever...kind of disheartening...but an interesting read that might enlighten or make men and women think...
Here's another thing that sounds like me:
"Are you plain; does it ever depress you?
I’m very plain looking. I’m thin and I workout and sometimes when I have a pretty dress and high heels on, I think that I might get some flirty eyes from men, but men never look at me that way. Usually I’m fine with it; I really never think about it. But, today I went out with a female friend and she got so much male attention and two men even came up to her and gave her business cards. I didn’t even know there were women who lived like this. I guess it could get annoying, but I was so jealous and I felt very depressed about being so plain looking.
I’ve lived 29 years in this beauty obsessed culture. I wish I could feel what it’s like just once to be beautiful. Most of the time, I never think about it, but sometimes I really grieve not being pretty. How do others deal with this?
I’ve only gotten 3 answers to this question and I’m already annoyed. I just hate it when people say to accentuate your features. I already do that to the best of my abilities. I know a lot of women who do this and trust me there are men who judge them harshly everyday or don’t even give them a second look. There is absolutely nothing in the world I could ever ever ever do to get the kind of attention that my friend got today. She is beautiful and men like to look at her and flirt with her. That was not my lot in life; my genetics did not conspire to make me attractive. No haircut or lip gloss is going to make a difference. Sometimes that makes me sad. I’ve never broached the subject with any of my female friends b/c it would be awkward as ass to say “how do you deal with being plain.” I just wanted to know if other people feel this way."
To be honest...I gave up a while about dating...the fish aren't biting and I do my best to focus on myself only...just kinda sucks that without any wrongdoing I'm reminded of how undesirable I am...it's a really bad feeling I get in my chest...just feel bad about myself... Wish people would not wake me up from this happy fantasy life I try to lead...things like this, I just try to shove it in the back of my mind because the truth...I can't handle the truth...
Source: http://eddie.web.id/beauty-business-cards/are-you-plain-does-it-ever-depress-you.html