I'm a 33 year old virgin male without even a date to my name.

[Aardra]

I like shy, awkward men. And no, not the Disney idea of shy and awkward of "hot but with glasses." Like I literally like quiet awkward men who are goofy, don't know what to do with their hands, stumble over their words, etc. They're cute and endearing and I find them attractive romantically and sexually.

What I like about a guy is having passions. I don't care if he goes on about his collection of MTG cards. If he's passionate about something that's a huge plus. Men who care about things outside themselves are attractive, too. Altruistic attitudes and behaviors. "Confidence" is such a murky word. A person can be confident in their abilities but a complete wreck in social situations. But of course if a person is a complete clusterfuck with no interests, ambitions, or passions; who only goes on about themselves and their insecurities, I'm not going to find them attractive.

 

[ardour]

I like shy, awkward men. And no, not the Disney idea of shy and awkward of "hot but with glasses." Like I literally like quiet awkward men who are goofy, don't know what to do with their hands, stumble over their words, etc. They're cute and endearing and I find them attractive romantically and sexually.

Generally men who are notably shy or insecure are that way because they suffered humiliations, beatdowns, or years of near total isolation from peers during adolescence. The resulting behaviour, the lack of social skills, aren't usually seen as cute or endearing. I think this is more your idea of a cute/aloof hipster, not reality, which is uncomfortably close to an incel or forever alone type.

 

[MissBehave]

I like shy, awkward men. And no, not the Disney idea of shy and awkward of "hot but with glasses." Like I literally like quiet awkward men who are goofy, don't know what to do with their hands, stumble over their words, etc. They're cute and endearing and I find them attractive romantically and sexually.

Generally men who are notably shy or insecure are that way because they suffered humiliations, beatdowns or years of near total  isolation from peers during adolescence. The resulting behaviour,  the lack of social skills, aren't usually seen as cute or endearing. I think this is more you're idea of a cute/aloof hipster not reality, which is  uncomfortably close to an incel or a forever alone type.

Or maybe OP actually likes that? 
Let's take her word for it Mr Ardour

 

[Aardra]

I like shy, awkward men. And no, not the Disney idea of shy and awkward of "hot but with glasses." Like I literally like quiet awkward men who are goofy, don't know what to do with their hands, stumble over their words, etc. They're cute and endearing and I find them attractive romantically and sexually.

Generally men who are notably shy or insecure are that way because they suffered humiliations, beatdowns or years of near total  isolation from peers during adolescence. The resulting behaviour,  the lack of social skills, aren't usually seen as cute or endearing. I think this is more your idea of a cute/aloof hipster, not reality, which is  uncomfortably close to an incel or  forever alone type.

I swear to the gods, you are absolutely wedded to your misery.

"I think this is more your idea of a cute/aloof hipster, not reality," just... holy honeysuckle. Thanks for inserting what you think my ideas are, sir. I've been finding that whole "thinking for myself" thing rather difficult, what with my silly female hormones making me all hysterical and whatnot.

If you genuinely want to put yourself on the same level as "incel or forever alone types", and insist that the cause of your loneliness is purely external (thus absolving you of any responsibility to change), then there's nothing anyone can say or do to dissuade you.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I like shy, awkward men. And no, not the Disney idea of shy and awkward of "hot but with glasses." Like I literally like quiet awkward men who are goofy, don't know what to do with their hands, stumble over their words, etc. They're cute and endearing and I find them attractive romantically and sexually.

Generally men who are notably shy or insecure are that way because they suffered humiliations, beatdowns, or years of near total  isolation from peers during adolescence. The resulting behaviour,  the lack of social skills, aren't usually seen as cute or endearing. I think this is more your idea of a cute/aloof hipster, not reality, which is  uncomfortably close to an incel or  forever alone type.

And this right here is exactly what I mean by PERCEIVED reality......

And yes, Aardra, he is wedded to this crap. He's been saying the same thing for years and years.  No matter how many women tell him otherwise, he, of course, knows better.  We are essentially just lying bitches.

 

[user 115627]

I like shy, awkward men. And no, not the Disney idea of shy and awkward of "hot but with glasses." Like I literally like quiet awkward men who are goofy, don't know what to do with their hands, stumble over their words, etc. They're cute and endearing and I find them attractive romantically and sexually.

Generally men who are notably shy or insecure are that way because they suffered humiliations, beatdowns or years of near total  isolation from peers during adolescence. The resulting behaviour,  the lack of social skills, aren't usually seen as cute or endearing. I think this is more your idea of a cute/aloof hipster, not reality, which is  uncomfortably close to an incel or  forever alone type.

I swear to the gods, you are absolutely wedded to your misery.

"I think this is more your idea of a cute/aloof hipster, not reality," just... holy honeysuckle. Thanks for inserting what you think my ideas are, sir. I've been finding that whole "thinking for myself" thing rather difficult, what with my silly female hormones making me all hysterical and whatnot.

If you genuinely want to put yourself on the same level as "incel or forever alone types", and insist that the cause of your loneliness is purely external (thus absolving you of any responsibility to change), then there's nothing anyone can say or do to dissuade you.

I have a different question. How do you square liking shy and awkward men with what you said in another thread about hesitancy being a turn-off? Unless you mean shy and awkward but sufficiently confident to still communicate their intentions and feelings...with some clarity at least.

On a personal side note: I only remember being called cute for my mannerisms in later years and it was exclusively by people on the internet - years after high school where I had dealt with moderate isolation. Where being "cute" was more synonymous with weak and insecure when you were a bit on the nerdy side which led to occasional ridicule from guys and gals alike. Which is why I still believe that environment is a huge factor. Or maybe culture which is linked to said environment or the passage of time.

...honeysuckle, I had a final thought on "When you find the right one, none of this is going to matter anymore". I mean...of course that's true. Trivially true in fact. No matter whether you're a guy or a gal hearing it that has dealt with long-term loneliness, it will just sound like a hollow platitude where you're depended on chance and time itself not running out on you.

 

[Aardra]

I like shy, awkward men. And no, not the Disney idea of shy and awkward of "hot but with glasses." Like I literally like quiet awkward men who are goofy, don't know what to do with their hands, stumble over their words, etc. They're cute and endearing and I find them attractive romantically and sexually.

Generally men who are notably shy or insecure are that way because they suffered humiliations, beatdowns or years of near total  isolation from peers during adolescence. The resulting behaviour,  the lack of social skills, aren't usually seen as cute or endearing. I think this is more your idea of a cute/aloof hipster, not reality, which is  uncomfortably close to an incel or  forever alone type.

I swear to the gods, you are absolutely wedded to your misery.

"I think this is more your idea of a cute/aloof hipster, not reality," just... holy honeysuckle. Thanks for inserting what you think my ideas are, sir. I've been finding that whole "thinking for myself" thing rather difficult, what with my silly female hormones making me all hysterical and whatnot.

If you genuinely want to put yourself on the same level as "incel or forever alone types", and insist that the cause of your loneliness is purely external (thus absolving you of any responsibility to change), then there's nothing anyone can say or do to dissuade you.

I have a different question. How do you square liking shy and awkward men with what you said in another thread about hesitancy being a turn-off? Unless you mean shy and awkward but sufficiently confident to still communicate their intentions and feelings...with some clarity at least.

Someone can be shy and awkward while also having the strength of character to overcome their shyness and awkwardness. I'm shy and awkward, to a point where I have to type up an actual script before calling someone on the phone. But I still force myself to call them, otherwise nothing ever gets done.

A shy and awkward person isn't the same thing as a hesitant person. He's shy and awkward but still liked me enough to work up the courage to ask me out? That's a turn on for me. But why should you or anyone expect a woman to be attracted to a guy who just idles in the corner staring at you without ever saying anything or approaching (provided we're in an appropriate social setting)?

Not that any guy would ever ask me out. I'm trash.

 

[ardour]

A shy and awkward person isn't the same thing as a hesitant person. He's shy and awkward but still liked me enough to work up the courage to ask me out? 

 

[Aardra]

A shy and awkward person isn't the same thing as a hesitant person. He's shy and awkward but still liked me enough to work up the courage to ask me out? 

Alright, then. Enjoy this years-long masturbatory session you've been having. Pity makes a sore lube.

 

[SirPanda]

 

[ardour]

"goofy but cute"
[img=306x306]https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/79...odnWidth=612&odnHeight=612&odnBg=ffffff[/img]

 

[Aardra]

"goofy but cute"
[img=306x306]https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/79...odnWidth=612&odnHeight=612&odnBg=ffffff[/img]

I don't find this guy attractive at all. He's clearly trying too hard, to the point of it being obnoxious, and even then ends up looking like a hipster party clown. I would more likely sneer at him. But keep making assumptions.

 

[ardour]

Alright, then. Enjoy this years-long masturbatory session you've been having. Pity makes a sore lube.

It's  clear you don't have much  sympathy for or share any sense of commonality with such men though, because you see awkwardness as the equivalent of some cute affectation.

I don't envy your struggles but really can't stand this attitude. Like most explicitly 'woke' types you want men to be some ideal combination of male feminist and masculine characteristics while you sit back and take your pick.

I've asked women out FYI, but no matter how innocuous  and non-threatening I tried to appear I always got the impression I'd harmed them somehow. It was never a case of 'no thanks but no hard feelings', rather disgust or contempt and avoidance from there on.   Not the least bit fun.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I hope someone like that guy in the picture interrupts me someday. I will bang my fist on the table (if there is one), point my other index finger in his face rigidly and roar, "BE SILENT, HIPSTER!"

 

[Invisibleguy]

Haters. His swag is fire

 

[Aardra]

Alright, then. Enjoy this years-long masturbatory session you've been having. Pity makes a sore lube.

It's  clear you don't have much  sympathy for or share any sense of commonality with such men though, because you see awkwardness as the equivalent of some cute affectation. But then it's what I'd expect of  women invoking woke politics: they women get to remain passive and expect everything while men have to some some perfect combination of male feminist and typical masculine traits. You want it all.

I don't envy your struggles but really can't stand the attitude on show here. 

I've asked women out FYI, but no matter how innocuous  and non-threatening I tried to appear I always got the impression I'd harmed them somehow. It was never a case of 'no thanks but no hard feelings', rather disgust or contempt and avoidance from there on.   Not the least bit fun.

Are you okay?

I don't ever recall bringing politics into this, let alone "woke" politics (seriously, are you twelve?). You continue to take what I say, twist it up in your head, and then regurgitate it back at me. Comparing me to a "tumblr princess"? Really? How many 4Chan tabs do you have open in your browser right now? Be honest.

What do you want me to say? That you're doomed forever? Because you're not. That you're hopeless? Because you're not. That you need to lower your standards? Because you don't.

It's unfortunate that you seem incapable of even considering the possibility that your perceptions are flawed. Your grief, depression, and loneliness all serve to make you headstrong, because you've felt them for so long as too grow comfortable in them.

That isn't to say your experiences aren't valid - they are - but how you're reliving and reinterpreting those experiences in your head, well... that's what I and others are questioning.

I empathize with your lack of romantic success. Trust me. You have no idea the effort I have to put in just so men don't stare and laugh at me, let alone want to talk to me. I sincerely doubt I'll ever find a man, given my circumstances.

But I still try to better myself, exercise, try to be an engaging and thoughtful individual. I don't blame men, or some quirk of fate, or fact from biological psychology, for why I'm alone; and I'm certainly not deluded with the idea that my loneliness is incurable. I still try.

What are you doing but licking your wounds?

 

[ardour]

Alright, then. Enjoy this years-long masturbatory session you've been having. Pity makes a sore lube.

It's  clear you don't have much  sympathy for or share any sense of commonality with such men though, because you see awkwardness as the equivalent of some cute affectation. But then it's what I'd expect of  women invoking woke politics: they women get to remain passive and expect everything while men have to some some perfect combination of male feminist and typical masculine traits. You want it all.

I don't envy your struggles but really can't stand the attitude on show here. 

I've asked women out FYI, but no matter how innocuous  and non-threatening I tried to appear I always got the impression I'd harmed them somehow. It was never a case of 'no thanks but no hard feelings', rather disgust or contempt and avoidance from there on.   Not the least bit fun.

Are you okay?

I don't ever recall bringing politics into this, let alone "woke" politics (seriously, are you twelve?). You continue to take what I say, twist it up in your head, and then regurgitate it back at me. Comparing me to a "tumblr princess"? Really? How many 4Chan tabs do you have open in your browser right now? Be honest.

What do you want me to say? That you're doomed forever? Because you're not. That you're hopeless? Because you're not. That you need to lower your standards? Because you don't.

It's unfortunate that you seem incapable of even considering the possibility that your perceptions are flawed. Your grief, depression, and loneliness all serve to make you headstrong, because you've felt them for so long as too grow comfortable in them.

That isn't to say your experiences aren't valid - they are - but how you're reliving and reinterpreting those experiences in your head, well... that's what I and others are questioning.

I empathize with your lack of romantic success. Trust me. You have no idea the effort I have to put in just so men don't stare and laugh at me, let alone want to talk to me. I sincerely doubt I'll ever find a man, given my circumstances.

But I still try to better myself, exercise, try to be an engaging and thoughtful individual. I don't blame men, or some quirk of fate, or fact from biological psychology, for why I'm alone; and I'm certainly not deluded with the idea that my loneliness is incurable. I still try.

What are you doing but licking your wounds?

I edited my comment. 

You can analyze guys like us all you like, but like I said there's something incredibly obnoxious about expecting men to be docile male feminists most of the time but able to switch on the assertive masculinity at a moment's notice. We aren't trained dogs on a leash.  You like awkward shy types, then expect to have to take the initiative. (I prefer shy women but would never expect anyone like that to do the asking.)

 

[Aardra]

Ah yes, because as we all know, feminism is when males are docile, and the more docile they are the feminist-er it is.

 

[user 115627]

A shy and awkward person isn't the same thing as a hesitant person. He's shy and awkward but still liked me enough to work up the courage to ask me out? That's a turn on for me. But why should you or anyone expect a woman to be attracted to a guy who just idles in the corner staring at you without ever saying anything or approaching (provided we're in an appropriate social setting)?

Not that any guy would ever ask me out. I'm trash.

I wasn't going to gatekeep shyness as only being real when you are incapable of existing in the world. But yeah, I figured you meant shy but getting things done, including asking someone out. I also go through social scripts in my head and still break out in nervous sweats even when I'm doing okay.

I don't expect women to be attracted to a guy idling in the corner with a blank expression. I am more inclined to believe in guys just cold-approaching women that look intriguing or attractive to them. Potentially even without a specific expression but women send out signals when they want to be deliberately approached in the right setting.

I don't chastise anyone for displaying themselves negatively on the forum, I just need to look back at my own self-hating posts from when I originally got here. But do you think the part that makes you trash is just the issues that come with being a transwoman or is there more to this?

 

[TheRealCallie]

I don't chastise anyone for displaying themselves negatively on the forum, I just need to look back at my own self-harming posts from when I originally got here. 

While I agree that people on the forum are MORE self depreciating here than they probably are in real life, how long do you really think they can go on saying things before it starts becoming real to them, before it becomes their "reality"?  honeysuckle like that leaks out into the real world whether people realize it or not.