I'm fat and friendless.

[Lonesome Crow]

There's different tech you can try...that's why I try differnent things.
Sometimes a simple walk on the beach will help lots. I miss ventura ca.
I also miss TX. We lived right on the water front of the gulf.

It's one of the reasons I do what i do...I hang out with my friend.
We go hang at a local club on the weekends. Sometimes i get really honeysuckle faced
and stupid drunk.
My friend has a major drinking problem. Drinks like a bottle of whiskey everyday.
He gets very ill at times. He is fulley awear of it. He's been in and out of treatment
3-4 times. He is still my friend. He's almost like a brother to me. His mother
tells us Im her second son.lmao

Not best of sernerio. I wieght these things out between isolation and
being with my drunken buddies.lol

Ive been trying to attend my AA/NA meetings again. It's not working for me.
Or I choose not to work it...

I have enough recovery in me to know.
DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP NO MATTER WHAT.....and I DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING.

The law of attractions tells me...i shouldnt judge myself or blame myself
for having negative feelings or being the way I am.

The sedona tells me to accept myself as I am at this moment.
Dont reject myself...dont reject the problem (self accpetence)
Dont even work on my fucken problems or try to change myself for that matter.

Dr Robert Anthony also say....if you're going to do something...
even if it's wrong. DO IT!!!!
Doing it and feeling guilty about it is TOO MUCH WORK and a phycological dead end.

It's about RELIEVE and going though the process of healing and getting well...

You're in the process somewhere and it's OKAY.
You're exactly where you're suppost to be....
No need to compair ourselves with anyone.

If you feel like you need to release or express your anger...
Have at it...Let it all out. Do whatever it takes.

I spent many hours on this peer along without Sassy even when I was living with her in TX...without anyone telling me how to think or feel.It kept me sane...I needed that salitude.

I walked this beach alone almost every morning while I was in Ventura. It was peaceful.

 

[aribeth]

I'm overweight myself. Gained weight in my 40's. Last dated last year and it lasted a month only. Before that it was 2 years ago and it lasted a year. Have very few friends which I don't hear from much. So I'm pretty much alone a lot. Since I've gotten older and overweight its harder to get a date. I have a hard time being alone, especially thru the holidays. So I can being fat and friendless.

 

[Ashariel]

Hey, I'd be your friend, but sadly I don't think my boobs are big enough. Sorry! Good luck with that

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

All of my family are dead, I have no friends, I'm a chronic loner who never married and never had kids, I am alone, and have been for many years. I try to eat sensibly and healthily and take regular exercise, but can't seem to shift the pounds. I resist the temptation of using alcohol to cope, as I've been there before. I try to keep myself busy to prevent the recurrence of depression, but sometimes the loneliness creeps in, and I can't seem to move out of this isolation.

I used this thread to vent, as I'm ******* fed up.

Hey Solitary man (nice name choice ), don't give up with it.

Once you shed the weight, you realise that being overweight isn't some kind of permanent status. I've lost 5 stone myself through just working out and cutting junk from my diet as much as I can.

May I ask what sort of exercise you're doing? I highly recommend cycling. Look at each day as a calorie count (but not obsessively) and then look at cycling/cardio work you do as taking calories away from that count.

If you look at your intake and output like that, it's easier to set yourself fitness goals and actually see them working.

Here's the key: it takes months, possibly longer and you must not give up. It's taken me a year to lose that weight, but now it's pretty much permanently gone and I'm so much happier as a result.

Feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk about that more at all

 

[Solitary man]

Thanks for the encouraging words, TheSolitaryMan. I've battled with my weight for quite a while and have been on many diets over the years and have lost weight, but when I return to normal eating the weight just slowly piles back on again.

I am not an athletic person, but I do push myself to take regular exercise, as it reached the stage where it was either run or die. I had a beautiful Labrador dog for 5 years who died last year, and she kept me fit with walks twice a day every day. Now I go out running as often as I can (which isn't near often enough), but I'm still overweight, and have accepted that I probably always will be.

Losing 5 stone is one hell of an accomplishment. The most I ever lost was a stone and a half, and you really do feel the difference. Hope you can maintain the self discipline to not return to over-eating and can sustain the exercise regimen.

 

[floffyschneeman]

Hey, I'd be your friend, but sadly I don't think my boobs are big enough. Sorry! Good luck with that

+1

 

[Solitary man]

She needs to send photos of her boobs. Not that size is important, it's more shape really.

 

[TrueSoulMate]

Hey dude, You have a life to live! Get up, find a practical activity you enjoy and immerse yourself into it! Find ways to catch fun playing and working with other ppl! Those you see laughing and seeming to have a good time all around town also have their low times, but d difference between them and YOU is that they don't take themselves too serious! A million psychoanalytic crap will not match few hours of fun among real humans. If you can post this online, then you've got something great you can give the world around you There are millions of FAT men and women who have been able to live fun filled lives with buddies! They'd call you Mr Fat or something like that but with a true affectionate touch if you mean something to their lives. AND learn to like ppl for d sake of just liking them! Doesn't have to be because of sex or something they have to give or something you have to give them! Be fun wherever you go and you'd suprised at how lively life really is! Throw away that self conscious crap about you being a natural loner! It is simply self deception!

 

[Solitary man]

UPDATE: Loneliness can suck my ass.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I'm sorry, dude.

Have you tried meetup.com? Or some other meetup or community groups in the area? You need to get out of this rut.

 

[VanillaCreme]

All of my family are dead, I have no friends, I'm a chronic loner who never married and never had kids, I am alone, and have been for many years. I try to eat sensibly and healthily and take regular exercise, but can't seem to shift the pounds. I resist the temptation of using alcohol to cope, as I've been there before. I try to keep myself busy to prevent the recurrence of depression, but sometimes the loneliness creeps in, and I can't seem to move out of this isolation.

I used this thread to vent, as I'm ******* fed up.

I don't want to say sorry, simply because none of us are perfect. But I will say that just because you're overweight doesn't mean that you're not healthy. It shocked me a bit to find that a man that was about 6'1 and about 210 pounds was considered morbidly obese. If you eat sensibly and don't over indulge in anything, you should be fine. It's utterly ridiculous how health is measured today. Too much of anything is a bad thing. You could sit and eat 1000 oranges. Doesn't mean you're healthy from eating a lot of fruit.

Anyway, as long as you feel good, it's okay.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

UPDATE: Loneliness can suck my ass.

It's all good dude.....

When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired of it...you'll do
something about it.

My sponsor used to tell me this becuase Im raTHER a sick one.lmao
Plus i already know the answers and have enough answers to solve my problems.
And he knew he couldnt fix me....but he loves and caRes for me.
" U can sit in your own mother fucken bullshit for as long as you like".lol
everyone have thier own threashold of pains or bottom.
You dont really need to fight it or fight the process (this way you stop beating up on yourself).
Some people say.....SURENDER.
The self hatred, self critical, self judgmental, guilt, shame...all that honeysuckle gets washed away too.

I have this fucken Dis-ease that wants to kill me at all cost. it lives inside of me.
It's cunning, baffling and powerful. It uses everything against me...even love.
It morphs...substitutions through alcohol, drugs, food, relationships, sex, shoping, gambling, salitude, work..ect.. everything.
The more i try to fight it...fix it. whatever will power i have...and i have a lot. it kicks my ass oneway or the other.
I cant fight it....It's grace of god that Im still alive. Though sometimes i feel its more of a punishment and torture.

Once Im in complusion...Im not even awear of it. It's subtle and baffling.
I dont obsess about it...becuase whatever activities i get
involved in are actaully healthy turns unhealthy for me. There's no moderations...not until sometype of major
consequnces. Hind site is always 20/20...but I'll start hating myself for the things Ive done and I get very
tired of picking up the pieces. And i hate myself even more.......and I dont even have to be drunk or high...
My disease has nothing to do with just drugs or alcohol abuse.

With all the recovery language aside...and the morals and values put aside.
Ive been reserching most of my life of what the fresia is wrong with me...
Ive pretty much narrow it down to there's a part in my brain that regulate consumptions...such as eating food.
It effects every fascet of my life....
It regulates comsuptions or triggers consumptions...such as telling me to eat.
Becuase when i dont wanna eat..I dont fucken eat either.
My level of consumptions are way higher than an average person.
My threashold for pain are higher than and average person.
When i wanna fresia..all i wanna do it fresia.
When i fall in love...all i wanna do is love.

Once my brain reaches that threashold...i get this feeling of bordom so I'll stop whatever activity. back to stravations.
My brain swings back the other way. I dont wanna eat..i dont wanna fresia. i dont wanna live. I dont wanna do anything.

It's not a fucken disease. Thats how my brain developed.
It's the samething as when a bi-sexal person's brain developes.
I was borned this way....
And I sure as fresia shouldnt hate myself.
Thought it's a mother pain in the ass to live the so call normal life....

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I have to say that you don't have to be a loner to feel alone. I live with my mom, my sis, a family friend, and three kids, in a big house. Doesn't mean I'm not lonely.

As far as losing weight, I suggest eating a more healthy diet. Drink water and diet soda instead of soda. Cut out cigarettes if you smoke. Limit drinking. Walk a little every day, and try to get on the treadmill. Cardio is the best way to lose weight.

And you don't have to have friends to be cool. I have some friends, but most of the time I am stuck by myself. I like it that way. I get a lot more done - I am an accomplished musician, who has his music up on iTunes and other places, and I live gig sometimes. I also enjoy playing video games, reading, writing, and watching tv and listening to music.

If you feel like your life is worthless, fill it with worth.

 

[Solitary man]

I'm sorry, dude.

Have you tried meetup.com? Or some other meetup or community groups in the area? You need to get out of this rut.

Tell me about it. Haven't heard of meetup.com. Thanks for mentioning it.

 

[ardour]

Maybe make losing weight your goal for now? Avoid bread and white rice. Not that there's anything necessarily tragic about being mildly overweight, but you might feel better having acheived this and then find it easier to start on the more meaningful parts of your life.
Surely all women can't be that bad, there have to some females out there genuinely into relationhips with other human beings. Maybe if you're prepared to look past the er... plus-sized attributes or lack thereof. Women with unappealing motvies are easy to spot after a short time. When you continued with people like that in the past it was probably because inside you're hoping they'd somehow turn out to be different (ie. out of desperation)

 

[jean-vic]

Lose weight for yourself. No other reason. Don't feel forced into it. Make sure it is your wish, and no one else's. It's the only to be sure you'll stick to it and keep it off.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I'm sorry, dude.

Have you tried meetup.com? Or some other meetup or community groups in the area? You need to get out of this rut.

Tell me about it. Haven't heard of meetup.com. Thanks for mentioning it.

There is also meetme.com, which is also a social networking site and also a meetup/way to meet people. Don't know too much about it, other than some of my friends use it.

There is a group for pretty much everything on meetup.com. I was just invited to a local geek club. Had no idea there were geeks who want to discuss WoW, Doctor Who, and comic books...and women my age who are drop dead gorgeous! Granted, most of them are married, but it's a start!

The big problem right now is the weight. I don't know how overweight you are, but losing it makes a difference. I just lost 21 pounds, and girls/women are starting to notice me. Even got flirted with by a hot 18 year old a few weeks ago, and I'm 11 years older than her (and she looked like a supermodel.) So it's not all lost.

Just work on you. That's all you can do. The rest will fall into place.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

...

 

[LoneKiller]

I can't tell you how sorry I am to read this thread. Nobody should have to be alone. I applaud your discipline with respect to not using alcohol to cope. It helps for a while, then pulls a complete 180 and makes you worse.

Search for things in life that you enjoy doing. It will make you happier, and feel better. Have you considered joining a gym? Don't let your weight get in the way. The people working out there if they are decent, won't give you a hard time, because they know you are there doing something to better yourself physically and mentally.

After going there for a while the others will see that you are committed, and when they get to know you, might become your friends.