I'm feeling horribly cynical about everything.

[Revengineer]

Fairness and honesty are great in theory, but the trouble is that practically nothing about the world is fair. People are dishonest and they get rewarded for it more often than not. I see it at my university all the time... many students are not afraid to do anything it takes to get ahead, whether it's using copies of old exams, copying other peoples' problem sets or popping Adderall during finals. They get better grades with less effort which allows them to get better jobs after graduation. For every scumbag on the news who gets caught with their pants down, there's countless more that more or less got away with something and never had to suffer any consequences. I grew up believing that honesty and integrity is the best policy and that everything else would follow, but I wonder about the limits to that way of thinking.

Stepping over others to get what you want seems to be how the rest of the world functions. I want to believe that there is some value to the ideals I cherish, that doing things the right way is a reward in itself. At the same time I can see there's some truth to the other side of thinking. For example, athletes who use steroids use them to beat the competition. When those athletes win, the rest are pretty much forced to do the same if they want to stay competitive. Yeah, it's easy for us to say they should all be punished without mercy. But are the they really wrong for breaking the rules when it's literally their careers on the line? And what makes one method cheating and another one okay? What if instead of taking steroids, they drank coffee to give themselves more energy? My point is that our ideas of right and wrong are so flexible that it's scary to think about it.

Perhaps this is just a phase and I'm simply going through some angst that I never got out of my system as a teenager. Who knows...

 

[Garbageman]

I say stick to honesty and integrity. I understand that there are some dilemmas that con occur, but fail to see how compromising your morals and ethics could be much of an option

 

[MTrip]

I could've written that post myself.

Keep your morals, however you conceive of them. Figure out where you can bend the rules depending on circumstance, & what principles you draw a line in the sand for. Hold to them. And for every person you see who makes a career out of dishonesty...cultivate a fine contempt for him/her. For all of them. That's how I do it.

 

[Solivagant]

I feel like I could have written this too.

I don't have much else to add. Just familiar with the frustration.

 

[9006]

I do too mostly cause how everything sucks like that, it's not that I can't the the good, but there just isn't much of it, especially when it comes to people.

 

[Sci-Fi]

People will just use you in the end, no sense in getting close to anyone. Once you let them in and they know your weaknesses they will exploit them for their own personal gain.

 

[9006]

People will just use you in the end, no sense in getting close to anyone. Once you let them in and they know your weaknesses they will exploit them for their own personal gain.

I think it's important you can sense this, personally it takes time to let my guard down.

 

[Alienated]

WOW I thought I have said the same thing... 100 times ?? Has somebody actually listened to me ??? Hey Garbageman didn't you say the same thing when I sent the same thing to you ??

I think we are CLONES !! Misanthropic Clones UNITE !!

 

[dustgollum]

I pretty much have the same view. However, I feel just because everyone does something does not make it right. No one can be honest or have integrity all the time, and it's futile to expect it at all of many people, but whatever the rest of the world does doesn't matter - it's ultimately a fact that you can only make that a goal for yourself, you can't control what anyone else does.

At 46, my conclusions are that most of the people I have known in any close way, those people may have said they accepted and cared for me for who I am, but ultimately that was not the case. They had their own motivations and once I didn't fulfill those, the relationships ended. Sometimes it took months and sometimes years. But it has always happened, at least for me. It's quite possible most people aren't even aware they are doing this. It may also be something seriously flawed in me. But I try hard not to approach situations that affect others as a 'what can I get out of it' thing.

In my experience, you can't change or judge others. You choose to hold whatever standards for yourself, and try not to worry about whether others recognize it or not. In fact, you will probably be criticized. But you ultimately have to live with yourself, so be true to how you think you should be for your own inner peace. See the good in the smallest things - animals, nature, anything. If you happen to see it in a person, be pleasantly surprised.

 

[MTrip]

At least three of us could start a misanthropes' club, if the concept wasn't a contradiction in terms.

 

[Alienated]

Kind of like the Junior High dance.... where all the girls on one side and the guys on the other... The band played on but nobody got up the nerve to actually dance !!

 

[Lady Gaga Snerd]

Life isn't fair. The sooner people get over that notion, the better. YOUR life is YOUR life. You can't control or do anything about what someone else does or doesn't do. Their life is up to them. YOU have to decide how to live your life. Everyday you live with the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. You can work hard to be the best person you can be or not. Nobody else can do it for you. Nobody else can work out for you, study for you, or make the best of your gifts except for you. Sitting around and looking at what someone else has and who may have gotten it easily or unfairly is a complete waste of time.

 

[Alienated]

Howdy Lady Gaga, I'm right there with you on that... But you said the D word and suggested self responsibility.... Those things are so old fashioned.... I got a thread you might enjoy

http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=28993&highlight=Misanthrope

Several of us sane ones got a kick out of it before is was closed. Talk to you later.

 

[Locke]

Life isn't fair. The sooner people get over that notion, the better. YOUR life is YOUR life. You can't control or do anything about what someone else does or doesn't do. Their life is up to them. YOU have to decide how to live your life. Everyday you live with the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. You can work hard to be the best person you can be or not. Nobody else can do it for you. Nobody else can work out for you, study for you, or make the best of your gifts except for you. Sitting around and looking at what someone else has and who may have gotten it easily or unfairly is a complete waste of time.

I agree. Life isn't meant to be fair or easy. Sometimes I wonder if modern technology has fooled people into believing that it's supposed to be easy, but the truth is that we have to fight for our own happiness, and work for what we want out of life. As you said, no one will do it for us.

.... I got a thread you might enjoy

http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=28993&highlight=Misanthrope

Several of us sane ones got a kick out of it before is was closed. Talk to you later.

That thread isn't closed.

 

[Revengineer]

Well I don't really think "misanthrope" accurately describes what I am. I believe most people really have good intentions but it's circumstances which lead them to do bad things. I've also gotten to know quite a few people whom I respect and trust greatly, which wouldnt have happened if I had never given them a chance in the first place. That said, people are also naturally self-interested and this taints every aspect of society by turning life into a ruthless competition when it really doesn't need to be. So the only way to stay afloat is to become a ruthless competitor myself even if it goes against my beliefs. I believe the phrase is "fake it till you make it."

Life isn't fair. The sooner people get over that notion, the better. YOUR life is YOUR life. You can't control or do anything about what someone else does or doesn't do. Their life is up to them. YOU have to decide how to live your life. Everyday you live with the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. You can work hard to be the best person you can be or not. Nobody else can do it for you. Nobody else can work out for you, study for you, or make the best of your gifts except for you. Sitting around and looking at what someone else has and who may have gotten it easily or unfairly is a complete waste of time.

I agree with most of this. I can't control other people's actions and I would be a fool to try. Doesn't mean their actions have no effect on me though, especially in a competitive environment like school. In the end I'm faced with the decision to "play the game" or risk getting left behind. This is what upsets me and I believe I'm justified in feeling this way.

 

[Lady Gaga Snerd]

You can play the game to the extent to wish to. Yes, i have a "game face" for work. There are certain things i must do at my job whether i like it or not. But, i want to earn a living and that is part of the price you pay. As for the rest of my life, i live my life on my own terms. People can take me or leave me. I do what I wish to do and am not going to be bullied or guilted in to doing things. My responsibility is to my family and my job. Anything else is of my choosing or not.

 

[ladyforsaken]

You can play the game to the extent to wish to. Yes, i have a "game face" for work. There are certain things i must do at my job whether i like it or not. But, i want to earn a living and that is part of the price you pay. As for the rest of my life, i live my life on my own terms. People can take me or leave me. I do what I wish to do and am not going to be bullied or guilted in to doing things. My responsibility is to my family and my job. Anything else is of my choosing or not.

You are bad-ass. +1

 

[Lady Gaga Snerd]

I'm baaad!!!

 

[Walley]

I agree with pretty much everything said here.
life isn't fair, and lots of people cheat and snake their way to the top. and so just seem to have it easier in life for one reason or another.

but what I have learned in my own experiences, is that eventually, in one way or another, things tend to equal out.
people that breezed through life, cheated or had it easy, or simply just didn't deserve the success they had achieved.. don't seem to be able to maintain it through life.

I have known people that got great jobs (that they didn't deserve), bought the big house (that they pretended they could afford), got married to the hot girl and so on.
eventually though, the castle of cards usually falls and then you realize that those that chose the high road, and took the path of integrity, are on a much firmer footing.

some of us who have had a rough start and things never seem to go our way may find that life treats us better on the back-end.

 

[Alienated]

But the hard part, is for the people that want to do it the right way, and do the work.

They have to sift through the path of destruction left by, those selfish, greedy bastards ... That's why nobody can trust anyone, and nobody believes you when you say you will do the work. They have had a assembly line of losers ahead of you.

You can't blame them, because I don't trust anyone that say's they are there to help. Why should they trust just another stranger saying give me a chance. I sure as hell wouldn't let them get close to what I value. So who is willing to open up and trust the other first ?

I can't even get a church to let me Volunteer !! That's screwed - up !!