Naleena
Well-known member
lovehurtme said:
Don't beat yourself up. Your not stupid, maybe hopeful but, not stupid.
I'm sorry to say this but....
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Don't beat yourself up. Your not stupid, maybe hopeful but, not stupid.
LonelyDragon
Well-known member
lovehurtme said:I agree. I wish we could all be naked in the jungle.
Ok, now that one got my attention!
I hate all the ones like that. The ones that give the rest of us a bad rep. Unfortunately they seem to outnumber the rest of us. Either that or they just get around a lot more.
Sometimes I think that the only way I'll ever be happy is to become like that myself. Seems like they're the ones getting all the good women that don't want to leave them. (Hopefully that won't be the end result in your case now.)
S
Satyr
Guest
lovehurtme said:I agree. I wish we could all be naked in the jungle.
Well, I'm halfway there...
It's hard to find an internet connection this deep in the jungle.
C
Caesium
Guest
lovehurtme said:^^^^Kind of...LOL. I was seeing this guy (you guys know him, the one that never calls and is always late). Well, I last saw him Wednesday (when he was an hour late for our date). He came over. Had a flower, a story about running out of gas, and how hard he works to make time for me. So being an idiot, I forgave him, and let him stay the night. Well, fast forward to today, no call, no email, no myspace message....nothing. 5 days of nothing! Mind you, he told me on Wednesday that he wanted to be with me exclusively. I think he came over just to....ummm......nevermind. I'm an idiot because I fell for it. Now I feel stupid and used (as usually). Again, I hate myself. Anyway, I did have a nice date with an ex over break, but I haven't heard from him either. I don't that as personal, because A) We aren't together. B) He has a minute phone, so he doesn't call anyone much. C) I didn't let him stay the night at my place. I'm so stupid, and depressed. I'm getting my emergency ice cream now.
You shouldn't have to put up with men like that, Lovehurtme (your name makes more sense to me now). You're far too nice to have to mix with such lowlife scum. If I had been in your position, I would have done something drastic and terrible to that man. Perhaps vandalizing and destroying his property, or blackmailing him. You also mention that he told you that he wanted to be with you "exclusively" - do you mean to say that he has multiple 'girlfriends'? He is making a big mistake here, and he probably doesn't even realize it. By seeing multiple girlfriends at once, he may end up with none at all. I hope he grows out of this stage soon, and realizes that there is more to life than '*******'.
It's a pity that degenerate folk such as these are giving the rest of the male population such a bad reputation. I haven't hurt a girl in my life yet (although, I am sure that if I did have a girlfriend, I would not be the 'perfect' boyfriend - perfection is an impossible dream in most cases), and it is maddening to hear you say that you now hate all men. It seems that girls will never want a person like me, I'm far too 'nice'. Al I can ever be is someone who helps them with their work.
Hang in there Lovehurtme, I sincerely hope that you find happiness sooner rather than later. Don't let men treat you like dirt.
lovehurtme
Well-known member
Naleena said:
Thanks. :shy: I'm more hopeless than hopeful though.
LonelyDragon said:lovehurtme said:I agree. I wish we could all be naked in the jungle.
Ok, now that one got my attention!
I hate all the ones like that. The ones that give the rest of us a bad rep. Unfortunately they seem to outnumber the rest of us. Either that or they just get around a lot more.
Sometimes I think that the only way I'll ever be happy is to become like that myself. Seems like they're the ones getting all the good women that don't want to leave them. (Hopefully that won't be the end result in your case now.)
I won't end up like that. I'm already changing. When I didn't answer last night, he emailed me today. Same guy stuff, "I hope you aren't mad. I was busy. I care about you. Blah Blah Blah. Not falling for that stuff again.
Satyr said:Well, I'm halfway there...lovehurtme said:I agree. I wish we could all be naked in the jungle.
It's hard to find an internet connection this deep in the jungle.
We'll find a way. We can get a router or an antenna.
Caesium said:lovehurtme said:^^^^Kind of...LOL. I was seeing this guy (you guys know him, the one that never calls and is always late). Well, I last saw him Wednesday (when he was an hour late for our date). He came over. Had a flower, a story about running out of gas, and how hard he works to make time for me. So being an idiot, I forgave him, and let him stay the night. Well, fast forward to today, no call, no email, no myspace message....nothing. 5 days of nothing! Mind you, he told me on Wednesday that he wanted to be with me exclusively. I think he came over just to....ummm......nevermind. I'm an idiot because I fell for it. Now I feel stupid and used (as usually). Again, I hate myself. Anyway, I did have a nice date with an ex over break, but I haven't heard from him either. I don't that as personal, because A) We aren't together. B) He has a minute phone, so he doesn't call anyone much. C) I didn't let him stay the night at my place. I'm so stupid, and depressed. I'm getting my emergency ice cream now.
You shouldn't have to put up with men like that, Lovehurtme (your name makes more sense to me now). You're far too nice to have to mix with such lowlife scum. If I had been in your position, I would have done something drastic and terrible to that man. Perhaps vandalizing and destroying his property, or blackmailing him. You also mention that he told you that he wanted to be with you "exclusively" - do you mean to say that he has multiple 'girlfriends'? He is making a big mistake here, and he probably doesn't even realize it. By seeing multiple girlfriends at once, he may end up with none at all. I hope he grows out of this stage soon, and realizes that there is more to life than '*******'.
It's a pity that degenerate folk such as these are giving the rest of the male population such a bad reputation. I haven't hurt a girl in my life yet (although, I am sure that if I did have a girlfriend, I would not be the 'perfect' boyfriend - perfection is an impossible dream in most cases), and it is maddening to hear you say that you now hate all men. It seems that girls will never want a person like me, I'm far too 'nice'. Al I can ever be is someone who helps them with their work.
Hang in there Lovehurtme, I sincerely hope that you find happiness sooner rather than later. Don't let men treat you like dirt.
Tons of girls want to date you. They just don't know it yet.
You are young. The right girl will come along for you. And maybe the girls asking you for homework help are too shy to ask for more.
LonelyDragon
Well-known member
lovehurtme said:Tons of girls want to date you. They just don't know it yet.
Yeah, get to know them better. The homework thing can be a great ice breaker.
But get a move on before you end up a lonely old man like me and it's too late.
LonelyDragon said:lovehurtme said:Tons of girls want to date you. They just don't know it yet.
Yeah, get to know them better. The homework thing can be a great ice breaker.
But get a move on before you end up a lonely old man like me and it's too late.
dang it, I guess I am you LonelyDragon
lovehurtme
Well-known member
Ok, update. The guy in question has called twice (once late last night, and once at 3 pm today, but I was in class). He sent me 2 myspace messages too. How can someone not speak to you for almost a week (when you are supposed to be together), and then all of a sudden have so much to say? What do you think of this excuse:
" I had to take my little neice back to school, with the weather being bad it took longer. I try to call you because I wanted to pick you up and take you to this hoilday walk here in Flint. I guess you send me to voice-mail well I about to go and pick up young one and head to this holiday walk. I will call you tomorrow ok. I still tired from lastnight all that driving. Ok so we are still cool."
Should I talk to him to tell him it's over or what?
" I had to take my little neice back to school, with the weather being bad it took longer. I try to call you because I wanted to pick you up and take you to this hoilday walk here in Flint. I guess you send me to voice-mail well I about to go and pick up young one and head to this holiday walk. I will call you tomorrow ok. I still tired from lastnight all that driving. Ok so we are still cool."
Should I talk to him to tell him it's over or what?
lonelyistheworld
Member
I hate being the optimist (because I'm so pessimistic), but here goes:
Why not just take his call and talk to him? See where it leads? No accusations, no recriminations, just talk. See how it goes.
Keep an open mind, but be suspicious as well. Protect yourself. You are the most important thing. Remember that.
Why not just take his call and talk to him? See where it leads? No accusations, no recriminations, just talk. See how it goes.
Keep an open mind, but be suspicious as well. Protect yourself. You are the most important thing. Remember that.
LonelyDragon
Well-known member
Not sure how up you are on the whole story lonelyistheworld, but the guy is a control freak who only has time for her when it's convenient for him. This same guy blows her off every time they're supposed to be together until she finally started to put some distance between them. And has even gone as far as making her go out in shorts in the winter cold for some unknown reason. (Maybe just to show that he was the boss?) He's nothing but bad news.
lovehurtme
Well-known member
^^^^Wow!! When you say it like that, it does sound bad! I haven't even thought about it all. I kinda of thought it was a joke, or funny to him. When we went to Blockbuster, I told him I felt uncomfortable, because people were staring at me (I mean, there was snow on the ground and it was like 10 degrees). He said, "Oh they are staring, because you are hot." I didn't take it personally. I just thought he was joking, I guess. Well, I'm definately not talking to him now. I will talk to him on Friday to tell him that I don't want to see him anymore.
lonelyistheworld
Member
LonelyDragon said:
You're right, that sounds pretty bad...
Brian
Well-known member
Lovehurtme, I have to personally commend you, for what it's worth coming from someone younger. I thought it was pretty funny how you ignore like one phone call and suddenly he goes from "You better go outside in the snow nekkid, woman" to "OH GOD IM SORRY. EXCUSE EXCUSE." To me that's the confirmation that he's probably scum with a fragile ego just trying to get what he wants at his convenience. So I hope you carried out your original intentions of breaking up
Women generally like men to be confident in some way...I wonder if the right men will pick up on your own change in attitude? Perhaps previously when you were 'love starved', the wrong men were picking up on that and that's why you've had such bad luck. Which sucks that anyone would try to take advantage of that with no concern for another's feelings.
Anyway. I hope all is well. Keep us posted eh?
An' if he gives ya any trouble, just you tell us. We'll round up Vinnie an' da boys. Pay 'em a visit, see? Show 'em what it's really like to be cold.
An' wet.
...An' buried up to his head in da swamp.
Women generally like men to be confident in some way...I wonder if the right men will pick up on your own change in attitude? Perhaps previously when you were 'love starved', the wrong men were picking up on that and that's why you've had such bad luck. Which sucks that anyone would try to take advantage of that with no concern for another's feelings.
Anyway. I hope all is well. Keep us posted eh?
An' if he gives ya any trouble, just you tell us. We'll round up Vinnie an' da boys. Pay 'em a visit, see? Show 'em what it's really like to be cold.
An' wet.
...An' buried up to his head in da swamp.
lovehurtme
Well-known member
Brian said:Lovehurtme, I have to personally commend you, for what it's worth coming from someone younger. I thought it was pretty funny how you ignore like one phone call and suddenly he goes from "You better go outside in the snow nekkid, woman" to "OH GOD IM SORRY. EXCUSE EXCUSE." To me that's the confirmation that he's probably scum with a fragile ego just trying to get what he wants at his convenience. So I hope you carried out your original intentions of breaking up
Women generally like men to be confident in some way...I wonder if the right men will pick up on your own change in attitude? Perhaps previously when you were 'love starved', the wrong men were picking up on that and that's why you've had such bad luck. Which sucks that anyone would try to take advantage of that with no concern for another's feelings.
Anyway. I hope all is well. Keep us posted eh?
An' if he gives ya any trouble, just you tell us. We'll round up Vinnie an' da boys. Pay 'em a visit, see? Show 'em what it's really like to be cold.
An' wet.
...An' buried up to his head in da swamp.
Well, the plan is working so far, but I haven't spoken to him. I "broke up" with him once before. I told him I needed a more serious commitment, and then he started telling me how he wanted to be serious with me. He was really sweet for like 2 weeks, and then he started being mean.
Now I'm trying to break-up with him again. I'm good at ignoring him, but I'm bad at staying mad at people. I think I will tell him that I am seeing someone else. Then he'll move on, and not say the things he knows I (and all women) want to hear. "You are special to me. I don't want to be with anyone else. I love you. Blah Blah Blah." It works on me everytime. The Vinny and the Boys thing was funny.
Did I hear an Italian accent?
cosmicpsyche
Active member
lovehurtme,
I feel like I hate men when I am confounded by why it can get so darn hard to be myself in a relationship; it's such a minimal request! But I over-rationalize, and get to feeling like the world always wants me to pick between being either a little girl or a *****, and I get such rage over never simply being welcomed to exist as the whole, wise woman I am.
So I am actively refocusing on myself, realizing that the more I accept myself just as I am, and connect with my deepest wisdom and power, it doesn't matter what 'the world thinks', because in this moment, it's all in my imagination anyway. I've resolved to read this book: "Calming the Anxious Mind" by Dr. Jeff Brantley. I'm into chapter 2 so far, and it's helping me chill out and think clearly much better already. I have to find my own inner peace before even thinking of fully committing to intimacy.
I believe I am in a transition toward a perfectly fulfilling relationship finally ... After all my heartbreaks and pain and seemingly endless suffering, if I can be where I am at today, I believe anyone can be. But first, you have to, as cliche as it sounds, learn to love yourself, and that does mean accepting all (every last atom) of yourself.
Talking about my love makes me sound crazy, but if there's one thing I can't possibly fail describing, it's the very physical effect it has on me, gently lifting the heartbeats out of my softened body. Ahh, I can just touch and smell roses.
I strongly believe that as terrible and pathetic and unnecessary our society makes us feel when we experience emotional suffering, when you prove you have the power to overcome it, and make the changes to be successful in your own life ... that is something intensely profound. When you rise up and reclaim all of yourself, the universe feels it, and changes come about (like in "The Secret"). It is imperative for our life for each one of us to find courage within ourself to follow our heart; and that does mean listening very carefully even when it is only whispering to us under the screaming of an analytical mind.
I'm going to keep thinking about the men/women thing for a long time, so i would be happy to chat about it more at length it seems to help ... and that is good for everyone
I feel like I hate men when I am confounded by why it can get so darn hard to be myself in a relationship; it's such a minimal request! But I over-rationalize, and get to feeling like the world always wants me to pick between being either a little girl or a *****, and I get such rage over never simply being welcomed to exist as the whole, wise woman I am.
So I am actively refocusing on myself, realizing that the more I accept myself just as I am, and connect with my deepest wisdom and power, it doesn't matter what 'the world thinks', because in this moment, it's all in my imagination anyway. I've resolved to read this book: "Calming the Anxious Mind" by Dr. Jeff Brantley. I'm into chapter 2 so far, and it's helping me chill out and think clearly much better already. I have to find my own inner peace before even thinking of fully committing to intimacy.
I believe I am in a transition toward a perfectly fulfilling relationship finally ... After all my heartbreaks and pain and seemingly endless suffering, if I can be where I am at today, I believe anyone can be. But first, you have to, as cliche as it sounds, learn to love yourself, and that does mean accepting all (every last atom) of yourself.
Talking about my love makes me sound crazy, but if there's one thing I can't possibly fail describing, it's the very physical effect it has on me, gently lifting the heartbeats out of my softened body. Ahh, I can just touch and smell roses.
I strongly believe that as terrible and pathetic and unnecessary our society makes us feel when we experience emotional suffering, when you prove you have the power to overcome it, and make the changes to be successful in your own life ... that is something intensely profound. When you rise up and reclaim all of yourself, the universe feels it, and changes come about (like in "The Secret"). It is imperative for our life for each one of us to find courage within ourself to follow our heart; and that does mean listening very carefully even when it is only whispering to us under the screaming of an analytical mind.
I'm going to keep thinking about the men/women thing for a long time, so i would be happy to chat about it more at length
it seems to help ... and that is good for everyone
cosmicpsyche
Active member
oh, after reading more of the thread, it sounds like you are confused about your feelings for the guy you are with. You seem really smart, and beautiful inside and out. You must believe there is something underneath this guys antics to be spending as much time as you are thinking about him ...
My opinion is that you would be wasting your life helping this guy to wise up, when you can already find a much much much much much much much much much much much much much much ... actually I'm not sure I can finish writing how much better a man you can find before this night is over, but I hope you get the idea.
If this guy's magic really is just under the surface, maybe you could help him see it. I know that sounds dreamy, but it's always worth exploring, I think. After all, once you have true clarity in your thoughts, and feel sure of yourself and your decisions, you will know in all your being what the answer is about what to do about this guy. I mean, the answer may never be 100% black or white, so you have to trust yourself and go the way your heart is pointing you toward.
I have no doubt in my mind you will know the right thing to do, and I am impatient to hear posts about how love healed you!
My opinion is that you would be wasting your life helping this guy to wise up, when you can already find a much much much much much much much much much much much much much much ... actually I'm not sure I can finish writing how much better a man you can find before this night is over, but I hope you get the idea.
If this guy's magic really is just under the surface, maybe you could help him see it. I know that sounds dreamy, but it's always worth exploring, I think. After all, once you have true clarity in your thoughts, and feel sure of yourself and your decisions, you will know in all your being what the answer is about what to do about this guy. I mean, the answer may never be 100% black or white, so you have to trust yourself and go the way your heart is pointing you toward.
I have no doubt in my mind you will know the right thing to do, and I am impatient to hear posts about how love healed you!
V
VanillaCreme
Guest
lovehurtme said:You are right. I know it could be worse. I know some of you probably hate my complaining. My sister hates it. She feels like I do it to be mean.
Well, guys do things to be mean. And more than just words... So why not be mean? It all balances out.
Naleena
Well-known member
lovehurtme said:
He is calling because you are showing (teaching) him that you are not waiting for his every call. He does not have the power in your relationship unless you give it to him. By not answering like he expects you to do, you took back your power and become a stronger woman. You go girl!
Naleena
Well-known member
cosmicpsyche said:
Well said
