Incredibly shy in public

[Elf]

The older I get, I realize I use my imagination as an escape.
I have such a hard time even communicating simple things in public because I am so unfocused on what's going on around me, because I don't even want to be there... for example:
Cashier:Are you all ready?
MeLooking completely away from them)*mumbles yes*
Cashier:Are you ready?"
Mestill looking away) yes... (just a little louder this time)

I've been called rude for this so many times..
Just wondering if anyone else relates.

 

[duff]

The older I get, I realize I use my imagination as an escape.
I have such a hard time even communicating simple things in public because I am so unfocused on what's going on around me, because I don't even want to be there... for example:
Cashier:Are you all ready?
MeLooking completely away from them)*mumbles yes*
Cashier:Are you ready?"
Mestill looking away) yes... (just a little louder this time)

I've been called rude for this so many times..
Just wondering if anyone else relates.

yes i used to be like you until I got a job as a cashier. It taught me how to talk to people, i gained confidence as well.

Why don't you try it ?
(If you can't get paid work, try charity shops !)

 

[Elf]

I work in a restaurant, have been a waitress(a shy mumbley one at that, I cook now) I just can't break out of myself.

 

[9006]

So when people are communicating, are you already away in your imagination already? Is it a coping mechanism because you feel so uncomfortable when having to communicate? Or is it a concentration problem? Am I asking too many questions?

 

[Elf]

It definitely is my crutch to avoid communicating the most i can.. I skate by using least words I can.

 

[Veruca]

Hey Elf, I'm sorry that people judge you to be rude when in reality that's not it at all. I imagine there are some real reasons why you feel the need to escape into your mind, but have you tried to do be more focused? Like used any techniques? Especially at work, my concern is that people might not understand and that can lead to problems.

Unfortunately, I have no words of wisdom to share. I used to daydream a lot as a child and people thought I was aloof, but over the years I've changed.

 

[Okiedokes]

I have been similar to you, and sometimes I still struggle because my focus can be off. Just remember..don't blame yourself for coming off as rude. Nobody knows what you are going through and if they did, they would never think anything bad of you. They just don't know and maybe don't understand. If you can, I know it's tough and might come off as awkward (especially if you don't get a "hi" back- but that's their problem not yours) but, at the cash register usually they say hi to you first. Say hi first so you got it out of the way and you will not come off as rude. I think that will help you to feel better and less guilty.

It's not easy to do at first, because I have felt like an ass for saying hi and not receiving anything back, but it takes a change of thinking. I was nice, if they didn't say it back..then oh well at least I did my part.

 

[Skid Row 89]

The older I get, I realize I use my imagination as an escape.
I have such a hard time even communicating simple things in public because I am so unfocused on what's going on around me, because I don't even want to be there... for example:
Cashier:Are you all ready?
MeLooking completely away from them)*mumbles yes*
Cashier:Are you ready?"
Mestill looking away) yes... (just a little louder this time)

I've been called rude for this so many times..
Just wondering if anyone else relates.

I relate to this very much to the point where it's made me reconsider getting a part time job in a shop (sadly I'm not even joking about this). Sometimes I end up completely ignoring someone because I'm deep in thought but I've never been called rude for it but I have been made to feel stupid because of it. I've been described as unobservant in addition to this. Best thing to do is just make small talk so you can keep your concentration.

 

[Elf]

Oh, but small talk is the worst.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Yeah I have hard times talking to people sometimes cause I'm very shy.
Afraid I'll look like a fool infront them so I usually stay very quiet when it comes to people. Always afraid the wrong thing, cause I'm very open minded and express myself. But once I know someone very well I'll open up.
I handle conversations one on one but group discussions I'm horrible cause I lose track on what everyone is talking about.

 

[weirdquietgirl]

I'm like this as well. I'm kind of zoned out most of the time so I can deal with being shy. A lot of times if someone is saying something to me I either assume they're talking to someone else or I didn't know they said anything at all.

Also, I usually avoid eye contact with most people because it sometimes makes me uncomfortable. My reasoning with avoiding eye contact is if I don't look someone in the eye, I'm not really seeing them and therefore, they don't see me (if that makes any sense) because I don't want to be seen or known. The older I get, the more I'm realizing that people think that I don't like them even though that's not the case.