Independance

[TheSolitaryMan]

At what age did you first get your taste of "independance"?

I ask because as a 20 year old male, I feel like a total shut-in right now. My parents arent' Draconian people or anything, in fact they're really great to me, but all through my life I've never sort of been allowed to just do my own thing in my own time.

When I was a kid I was not allowed to play in the streets with others, stuff like that. Now in my adult life, I can't go out when I want either because I'm not "allowed" to use my car.

It's sort of really getting to me. All my college acquaintances I speak with seem jealous that I live at home, getting meals cooked for me, not having to pay bills etc.

And it is great in that respect. But on the other hand, I've never been out socialising or anything since my early teens. Once every couple of years I might go to a small party or something. From that point of view, I really crave my own place.

Am I a loser? I guess. I just don't know what I should change about my life, if anything.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Lol I still live at home. Going to college. Not ashamed of living at home.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I got my first job at 13...I was self employed.
I mowed yards or washed cars.
$100p week 30 yrs ago was a grip load of money for a kid.
it was the same amount if a person had a fulltime job.
I purchased a bad ass tricked out Powerlite BMX custom built beach cruiser.

At 16 I worked for my father. I save all my money for my first truck.
I also took extra classes while in HS. In my senior years. I only
had to attend school half day then worked in the afternoon.
I had responsiblities of maintaining for truck, insurance and gas.
It also allowed me much more freedom to bang a chick in my truck
so I wouldnt get cuaght sneaking in girls into my bedroom.lol

I also purahses all my guitars and amps after a while.
Bust my ass with electronic parts all day.
Even though i came from a well off family..my parent taugh me the
vaule of earning my honeysuckle and being responsible at a very young age.
Spoil I wasnt.

After HS i attend college full time and also had a fulltime job.
I had to pay for everything...all my tuitions, books, gas...etc
Errrr...I'd go to work with one fucken eye open.lmao

My dream and goal was to be a pilot. We be USAF family and Im a fucken brat.lol

I took fucken Trig in my fucken freshman year in HS.
My math teacher was like WTF??? youre fucken stoned all the fucken time dude.
I was like...that **** equation jumps out at me.lmao

ITT and all kinds of people were coming after me becuse I'd make
fucken light bulb go flash mother fucken flash.
My Science teacher love me and hated me at the sametime..becuase
I was always arguing with him...Show me proof *****.hahahahaa
But he told me I was one of his better student becuase I asked alot
of mother fucken questions. Why..why...why?

My music teacher especailly loved my ass....
He sent my ass outside everyday cuase i was ripping eruptions instead
of the D fucken chord. So...so much freedom.lol

I got married when I was only 20....so so much FREEDOM.lol
I lived in a brand new apt complex with tennis courts.
I drove a badass transAm sports car.
My exwf drove a badass SS.

I lived in my own house @ 23.
I made over $1500 smack garooo per week after taxes.
Thats a grip of money 20 plus years ago and even today.
Thats right...two sports cars, rocket pocket, big ass TV and loud ass stero.
Bitches and hoes chasing after my ass everyday....cuz Im the honeysuckle

So is my baby. She totally awzume. She's only 21
Right, wrong or indifference...she's making her own ways
in the world today...with style and luxguries.
I'm very proud of her.
She traveled the world and experinced so much more than
I did when I was 21. $1500 p week is chump changes to her.

I was sort of a rebillous kid and still am in many ways.
My parent would punish me and growned me...
When i turned 16..They bascailly knew they couldnt stopped me.
I sneak out of the house eveynight even if I was grounded....
Sometimes I''ll sit at the dinner table stoned off my ass.lmao
We would have dinner at the table everynight back when.
But Iwould never get in trouble with the law. i wasnt a thug. i just liked to party a lot.

For the most part all my parent would demand of me that I have good grades
and they wouldnt say much. If I had bad grades they would try to inforce sometype
of punishments...but i was so rebillous..it didnt matter.
It was only through my mothers love for me that I was allow to lived under their roof until I turned 18.
Even then....it was kind of like in reverse. I would never come home becuase I just party and stay
at my GF apt. My mom just wanted me to come home becuase I was wild and afraid I was going to get myself killed.

A lot of it centered around Renae. I pretty much check out when the adults seperated us. It was constant partying
and countless women after that...becuase my parents and the adults was teaching me certain morals and values...
Yet Reane and I wasnt granted those morals and vaules they were teaching us. So i rebelled even more againt the system
or whatever the fresia adults or authories were trying to teach me.

 

[RJLJD]

i'm a college senior and live at home too, and i totally get how its hard to get out and socialize. i was even once told that i wasn't going to college to make friends, just to get an education, which isn't wrong, but its a little harsh.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Getting your own place is amazingly liberating, along with all of the difficulties inherent. I highly recommend it

 

[Sci-Fi]

When I was 29 and moved a couple hours away from my mother.

 

[Equinox]

I got my own place the day I turned 18, but to be honest, that was mostly because I had to get away from my mum's alcoholic and abusive boyfriend. If he hadn't been living with us, I'd probably have stayed with my mum a few years longer.

The pressure and responsibilities of adult life will come soon enough, and you'll have the rest of your life to enjoy ("enjoy") that. There's absolutely no shame in living with your parents at the age of 20. In general, I'll say that anything that saves money is a good thing.

Not being allowed to do certain things (such as drive your own car), however, sounds a bit weird to me. Maybe because my mum's always given me complete freedom to do whatever I wanted, and the concept of "not being allowed to" isn't something I'm familiar with, but still ... If it's your car, and you have your licence, they don't really have any right to keep you from using it. Maybe you should sit down and have a talk with your parents about this sitation and how it makes you feel? That's what I'd do, at any rate.

Whatever you decide, know this: You are not a loser. You just need to figure out what you want, and then how to achieve it - and that is no easy task, my friend.

 

[Ak5]

As much as I want to boltt out the door, I don't think I'm the proper person to either recommend or not recommend independence.

Although at 20 I think your old enough to live by yourself, drive by yourself, and do a lot of stuff by yourself; she might just want you to finish college and then be independent.

I know I'm going to push my parents to let me go out once I get a car...

 

[JamaisVu]

I was independent from my parents at 16, although I still lived with them. I know you must have your reasons for living at home, but being being told when you're allowed to drive your car at 20 years old is ridiculous. You can't let that type of thing prevent you from living your life to the fullest.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

With the economy being it it's current state, a large number of young adults are still living with their parents, and it's no surprise. Some people are forced to give up their new place and move back in with family. In some countries, living with family is considered part of their custom.