It's all about confidence?

[kindster]

I am 18 and i have no self confidence and i feel like complete honeysuckle, i don't look the way i want to and thats making me feel worse. When i look in the mirror i always find something to feel bad about and people that hate me are able to make me feel bad just by looking at each other and laughing at me.. I have a feeling that by going to gym and working out hard i will be able to get atleast part of my desired look and i ll get some confidence that way. As far as i know only confidence matters, people that have disgusting behaviors and stories to talk about have best chicks around them and their look is enhanced by their confidence. What should i do i want to be confident!

 

[Sci-Fi]

Do what feels right to you. If you want to work out and think it will give you a confidence boost then go for it. And try not to let those who laugh at you get to you, they are only seeing what you are putting out there. If you lack confidence and show it by your demeanor, people see that and pick up on it.

 

[theraab]

Going to the gym should help - also get some stylish clothes (if you are like me, you are terrible with fashion, so get the opinion of someone who you think is a stylish dresser).

There is another thread about confidence where I recently posted a few other ideas that might help.

---

In this thread: http://www.alonelylife.com/thread-differences-between-confident-unconfident-ppl

 

[Badjedidude]

Work out and get healthy.

That's a HUGE confidence boost for men.

But don't ever, ever, EVER confuse confidence with arrogance. Being handsome and healthy doesn't give you license to feel superior to others or to abuse others.

Confidence is about accepting who you are, about working to make yourself a better man. And not caring what the fresia others say or think about you. In the end, you make your OWN life choices, and you can choose to be ANYONE that you want to be. You have the ultimate control in determining how to react to what life throws at you; so buck up, start working to make yourself a better man, and never look back.

That's what it takes.

 

[mountainhare88]

Finishing a tough workout, even just the first one, is a tremendous boost to your confidence. The positive feelings are cumulative once you get in a routine, and then once you can notice the physical results (after just a few weeks), you will feel even better still.

Haters that laugh now will always laugh, even when you become a Calvin Klein model. So don't try to impress them. Haters are only good for helping you get motivated or determined in the face of adversity. But outside of that, they are useless, so just worry about yourself and your true friends.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I guess I will just reiterate that working out is the first step. I know that after I came off my initial set of success I had a lot of confidence... I wonder where it went.. I am not sure... Anyway, working out, getting stronger and healthier will help boost your confidence.

Here is another thing I am learning. You need to keep crappy people out of your life. They will suck away your confidence worse than anything. I have noticed over the past couple of months that I have been living with my roommate/friend. My sucidial thoughts have increased a lot. I have less energy to do anything. And I just want to get away from him. Back when I was living alone. I was actually going out and making a change and trying stuff out. Now... I cannot find the power to get out of bed because I know he will be on me. He is a leech who relies on others for everything, a decent place to live, food, and worst of all a social circle. So keep these kinds of toxic people out of your life until you have established your own skillset and circle.

 

[bulmabriefs144]

Work out and get healthy.

That's a HUGE confidence boost for men.

But don't ever, ever, EVER confuse confidence with arrogance. Being handsome and healthy doesn't give you license to feel superior to others or to abuse others.

Confidence is about accepting who you are, about working to make yourself a better man. And not caring what the fresia others say or think about you. In the end, you make your OWN life choices, and you can choose to be ANYONE that you want to be. You have the ultimate control in determining how to react to what life throws at you; so buck up, start working to make yourself a better man, and never look back.

That's what it takes.

Yes. And hope to God the women you fall for don't make this mistake either, or all the confidence in the world won't do much good.

 

[GioRocket]

A few years ago I made a thread similar to yours saying "how do I become confident?" On a different forum. The only piece of advice that really resonated with me and he only piece of advice that I can actually remember regarding confidence was:

Fake it till you make it

I didn't really understand what or how I would instigate this piece of information but **** it sounds cool! And sure enough, I am a lot more confident than a was a few years ago, I'm not sure if the phrase had anything to do with that but I do think there is some merit to it

 

[JasonM]

The only piece of advice that really resonated with me and he only piece of advice that I can actually remember regarding confidence was:

Fake it till you make it

Something I realized, growing up as someone will no confidence, is that one of the reasons I felt this way is because I believed everyone walking around with their heads held high and a healthy stride really knew who they were and what was what, where I just felt completely lost. The funny thing is that 99% of the people I have ever known are just as lost as I had felt back then; it's just that they presented themselves as if they had the answers and thus exude confidence, even if it is delusional or intentionally fake.

The real funny thing is when I realized my parents, who always seemed to know everything, played this same game. We are all just winging it; some people just pull off the lie better.

 

[Woz]

I am 18 and i have no self confidence and i feel like complete honeysuckle, i don't look the way i want to and thats making me feel worse. When i look in the mirror i always find something to feel bad about and people that hate me are able to make me feel bad just by looking at each other and laughing at me.. I have a feeling that by going to gym and working out hard i will be able to get atleast part of my desired look and i ll get some confidence that way. As far as i know only confidence matters, people that have disgusting behaviors and stories to talk about have best chicks around them and their look is enhanced by their confidence. What should i do i want to be confident!

Hey kindster i'm just a year older than you and I feel the same way as you do, it's cool to know someone my age feels the same way about girls being attracted to guys with confidence and stories to tell!
I kind of gave up hope because I told myself to not change for anyone, so forcing myself to go out and get drunk to gain stupid stories to girls wasn't for me. I am trying to improve my appearance to boost my low self-esteem and i think it works if you feel you are happy with yourself.

Best of luck hitting the gym, would be cool to talk to you sometime

 

[ThisSideOfTheRainbow]

Our perception in life is probably the only free will we really have. Let me explain. We cannot control fate. We can have intentions, and hopes, dreams, etc, but even are hardest action cannot always manifest what we want in life. Even a guy with a Phd can have a hard time finding a job, even a great looking man with lots of cash can have a hard time finding love. Our free will stops at the edge of the next person's.

But to get to the point of confidence: YOU and you alone have the freewill to see yourself how you want. Believe me. There are times I have all the confidence in the world, and then there are moments in my life like right now, where my confidence has been kicked in the balls. But ultimately it is my choice.

There are things you can do to boost your confidence. Some suggest you change your clothes style, you may be suggesting to yourself trips to the gym. But to be fair there are out of shape people with much self confidence, and there are people who dress like total honeysuckle who have a ton of confidence too. And likewise, there are sharp dressers and good looking people with no confidence at all, even if in great health or great physical shape.

So that proves that looks alone mean nothing in the form of confidence. Oh sure, they can help. The action alone of going to the gym, and getting a routine in your life can go a long ways to helping you. It cannot hurt.

But ultimately confidence comes from learning to love yourself, to accept yourself for who you are. And remember. You are NOT the person in the mirror. You are the person looking at the person in the mirror.

Be comfortable with yourself. Love yourself, and never give a honeysuckle what others think of you. They are entitled to their own opinion, and even if you were gorgeous and rich and popular and won a nobel peace prize, if people are going to talk honeysuckle about you, they will find a reason no matter what. Haters and judgers will do just that, hate and judge.

And remember this most of all when it comes to other people's views on you. Tell them this:

"Your judgments do not define me. They only define you as someone who needs to judge."

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Work out, pick up new hobbies, drink more water, write down things you like about yourself and let the list build up overtime. Do things for yourself, pamper yourself, read a good book, learn something new, write in a journal.