"I've gone without it for 2 whole months" (need to vent sorry)

[Remedy]

. There are a lot of cheap women in the world who will screw almost any guy...and if you're not wanting a dry spell to keep going...lol there are options.

----Steve

That's true. Last night i met a woman and within 20 minutes of meeting her she was talking about her vibrator and magic bullets and asking me if I was seeing anyone and blah blah blah. She was talking of having a party and me over to her house. So there are women out there you could get with pretty easily, but for me it was a huge turn off, even though she was physically attractive.

And no, I didn't go over to her house or mess around with her. A girl who will do me within an hour of knowing me is just not my type.

For some people it really isn't easy, well I know it isn't for me at least. Maybe I'm just not sexually attractive to any females, I don't know. I slowly feel like my morals are being crushed and I'm having the urge to just do it. It's not like I will ever have a chance to do it with any girls anyways so even if I lost my morals I'd still be incel. I won't win either way but I'll still keep trying to improve I guess.

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

remedy,

I promise I was just busting your balls. I'm a mechanic and a construction worker. We're a motley bunch. It's just my way. You seem uptight and I think you need to relax a bit. I wish you lived near me because we would go out to the bar and I would totally get you laid. Hint to help with the ladies: sex isn't physical, it's mental/emotional. That's your "in". Sorry girls for spilling the beans.....give a girl what she wants and your pole will be shined in no time.

 

[Oceanmist23]

sex isn't physical, it's mental/emotional. That's your "in". Sorry girls for spilling the beans.....

Zomg how could you?!!

 

[Jesse]

. There are a lot of cheap women in the world who will screw almost any guy...and if you're not wanting a dry spell to keep going...lol there are options.

----Steve

That's true. Last night i met a woman and within 20 minutes of meeting her she was talking about her vibrator and magic bullets and asking me if I was seeing anyone and blah blah blah. She was talking of having a party and me over to her house. So there are women out there you could get with pretty easily, but for me it was a huge turn off, even though she was physically attractive.

And no, I didn't go over to her house or mess around with her. A girl who will do me within an hour of knowing me is just not my type.

For some people it really isn't easy, well I know it isn't for me at least. Maybe I'm just not sexually attractive to any females, I don't know. I slowly feel like my morals are being crushed and I'm having the urge to just do it. It's not like I will ever have a chance to do it with any girls anyways so even if I lost my morals I'd still be incel. I won't win either way but I'll still keep trying to improve I guess.

You must not think of yourself as sexually unattractive to women. YOU MUST NOT!! This type of thinking will not help you in any way. You must realize that you can sexually attract women, that you are a MAN, and that you are visible in the sexual world. If there's anything about yourself that you don't like, that you think is keeping women from being attracted to you, do what you can to change it. If you can't change it, don't worry about it. There will still be a woman somewhere who will be attracted to you, but NEVER say you can't attract a woman.

I was stuck in that way of thinking for a long time and I'm just now making steps towards getting out of it. It's tough, but it is possible. When you start believing it yourself you'll begin to realize women do take notice of you.

 

[Remedy]

remedy,

I promise I was just busting your balls. I'm a mechanic and a construction worker. We're a motley bunch. It's just my way. You seem uptight and I think you need to relax a bit. I wish you lived near me because we would go out to the bar and I would totally get you laid. Hint to help with the ladies: sex isn't physical, it's mental/emotional. That's your "in". Sorry girls for spilling the beans.....give a girl what she wants and your pole will be shined in no time.

Ya, I'm sorry that because I'm just not used to joking on online forums. On the other forums I used to go I was used to people being serious about everything and putting me down. I just wish society didn't treat sex like it was so needed and is so weird for someone to be a virgin. Maybe than my morals wouldn't feel like they were breaking and I feel like I could hold out a bit longer. Everyone nowadays seems to be having it so maybe if I can somehow, I'd just get this huge weight off my shoulders. People always tell me "you need to get laid" because I'm so uptight and maybe I should. Even if I tried I doubt I could though. I just feel so disgusting for even thinking this way now but it comes down to conflict of morals or no morals. I don't think I could win either way though like I said lol.

@Jesse: I've been trying my hardest to feel like I look fine. Even than when I walk around with a positive attitude it still seems like girls dont look over or think anything of me.

 

[Badjedidude]

@Jesse: I've been trying my hardest to feel like I look fine. Even than when I walk around with a positive attitude it still seems like girls dont look over or think anything of me.

Here's a bit of knowledge that I've gained through my experience...women are a LOT more stealthy at stealing glances than guys are. When a guy is staring at a chick, it's fairly obvious. With women, it's harder to notice...unless they WANT you to notice. Women are like freaking ninjas when they're checking out a guy; they hide it very well.

Seriously. I'm sure there are women looking at you. What you should do is find a way to bring a girl with you to the club and have that girl look for women glancing at you. She'd be able to spot it right away and even point out the girls who are looking at you.

Lol actually, you might be able to hook up with the girl helping you, also.

----Steve

 

[Remedy]

I would try that if I even knew any girls lol. I don't think I have ever had a girl who was a friend offline in my life. Maybe when I was 5 but that doesn't count lol.

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

I would try that if I even knew any girls lol. I don't think I have ever had a girl who was a friend offline in my life. Maybe when I was 5 but that doesn't count lol.

dude. here is the thing. girls don't care about looks. i mean, some do, but those are like the supermodel type. if all girls cared about was looks, they would all be lesbians. think about it. why would they be attracted to cave-dwelling, hairy-assed, stale-popcorn smelling men?

like i said. it's emotional with women, and with men too to some extent. you've got to get over whatever anxieties you have about your physical appearance. right now, your biggest impediment to (not just having sex) finding a girlfriend is your self-esteem. it is in the dumps.

girls like things that sparkle.

some guys have "the looks" - that is a form of sparkle
some guys have "the humor" - that is a form of sparkle
some guys have "the sensitivity" - that is a form of sparkle

our female counterparts are looking for something appealing in you. it doesn't have to be that you look like a male supermodel. but you have to appeal to them.

i know from a lot of my lady friends that confidence is hugely attractive. simply being comfortable in your own skin, being able to hold a casual conversation without freaking out. trust me, some chicks might totally diss you, and if you act like you don't care, that girl will be like "whoa" he has balls "hmm" and before you know it you guys are doing the nasty in the maintenance elevator at work or something.

if all you have to offer is "i don't like me. no one likes me." why would ANY woman want that? even a one-legged, hairy-chinned billy-goat? know what i mean?

you've got to work on yourself first. you've got to change your way of thinking. not just pretend to change it, but really have a fundamental shift.

it's all in your head.

 

[Badjedidude]

think about it. why would they be attracted to cave-dwelling, hairy-assed, stale-popcorn smelling men?

LOL haha I almost shot water outta my nose at that.

I agree with everything you've said in your post, JSD. A LOT of sense in there.

----Steve

 

[Estreen]

Hey Remedy, just wanted to say it's not a bad thing at all to be a virgin at 23; I turn 23 in three days and I'm still a virgin. I understand it's an experience you want and look forward to; by our age, just about everybody would like to have that experience. In my personal view, I think this is the perfect time to start becoming sexually active. Yeah, a lot of people lose their virginities in their teens; it happens. To many people who I've talked to that have....ehh, the reviews weren't very great...at all. Most wished they could have waited longer, so don't get too hung up on it.

From what I can tell, I don't think you just want sex though. You might be like me, in just wanting to be able to relate, and wanting to know that you are wanted by *somebody*, and that I can understand. I went through a period like that when I refused to drink whilst all my friends did, and when I decided to stop going to college as most of my friends finished their college degrees. It's not a good feeling when everyone is talking about something that you yourself can't relate to.

My best advice would be to work towards gaining some confidence, because I will admit that coming off as outwardly/openly desperate *is* quite a turn off, at least for most. There's nothing wrong with the way you feel though, but gaining some self confidence and displaying that (even if at first you have to "fake it to make it") will really help you, not only for future relationships but just for life in general.

 

[firemanco3]

Hi Remedy,
I have been in your shoes, I know exactly where you're coming from. When you're sitting around with your friends or people you associate with and all they talk about is sex and how much they get laid or how long they have gone without sex (usually not long enough to complain about), it makes you feel like you have several little needles jabbing you repeatedly. What's even worse is when people start making fun of you because of your situation.
Throughout my adult life I've had people tell me I need to find a slut or a whore and just get laid. They didn't understand that I wanted to find a real relationship, not a one-night stand. When I tried to explain that to them they didn't want to hear it, in fact one guy I knew who went around to sleezy bars to pick up sluts told me that I was beginning to piss him off. He would try to hook me up with people I had no interest in and I would tell him to stop, then he would get mad and then try to embarrass me. But I wouldn't and still won't do it becasue I know I deserve better then that. When people would tell me to sink that low or just make fun of me and tell me that I'd screw anything with a hole between its legs I would feel insulted. It was like they were assuming that I was a dirt bag or some desperate loser who couldn't find a real relationship. My self-esteem and confidence in myself sunk to an all-time low and I began making threats of physical harm to myself.
I don't mean to ramble on about myself like that, I just wanted to explain that I know how you feel. When I was 23 I was still a virgin and didn't lose it until I was 26. It was with a girl that I loved and it was worth the wait. Unfortunately it didn't last becasue she joined the Navy and we split up after being together for eight months. I haven't had sex since then. Its been seven years, but it doesn't bother me. I still don't want a one night stand with some slut who doesn't even care what my name is.
Don't feel bad, you have nothing to be ashamed of. I know you may feel you do but really you don't. I know that the older you get the more frustrating it becomes, especially when other people find out and give you a hard time, but going out and paying for sex or sleeping with some slut who had about 200 dicks in her from before is NOTHING to be proud of. People who resort to that and brag about how much they get laid are really getting laughed at and most of the people I know who are like that are some of the biggest losers I've ever known. I don't want to follow their example. You shouldn't either, and you should ask youself how many people do you think would be proud of being a dirt bag.
Keep looking for someone that you can really care about and grow to love, then let nature take its course. You can wait, don't push it.
I really hope that everything works out for you and that the pressure you're feeling subsides. Knowing other people are in the same situation hopefully will curb your frustrations. I would be happy to talk if you ever need it.

 

[ThisGuy]

been close to a month for me =[

 

[sinisterplague]

First few months of not getting it are always the worst. It's especially bad if your heartbroken, not able to get any, and the person who broke your heart is having sex with other people. That honeysuckle nearly drove me over the edge.

 

[duality]

I'm going through all of this as I type. I'm turning 23, and I'm still a virgin. And you guys are right about this shitty society that gives the impression that being a virgin is something strange. I don't know if it's my fault that I'm still a virgin, but I really hate it when people think it's wrong to still be a virgin. One time, my friend asked me about my new cellphone. He asked what carrier I have, and I said Virgin Mobile. And he said, "that suits you well. Just kidding." I know he was just joking, but deep inside, I felt a little ashamed.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

dude. here is the thing. girls don't care about looks. i mean, some do, but those are like the supermodel type. if all girls cared about was looks, they would all be lesbians. think about it. why would they be attracted to cave-dwelling, hairy-assed, stale-popcorn smelling men?

How I missed this post the first time around I'll never know, but...

I can forgive you for spilling the beans because you gave some good advice.


You're my favorite knuckle-dragger.

xoxo lol

---

Here's a bit of knowledge that I've gained through my experience...women are a LOT more stealthy at stealing glances than guys are. When a guy is staring at a chick, it's fairly obvious. With women, it's harder to notice...unless they WANT you to notice. Women are like freaking ninjas when they're checking out a guy; they hide it very well.

What is it with you guy spilling all the trade secrets?!

This is true, though. I check people out all the time, but I'm subtle about it unlike the guys who are pointedly staring at my tits or whatever. I think that the last guy I went out with never once made eye contact with me the entire time. Der. I felt 6 inches shorter, FFS.

But yes, women are usually subtler at this. lol

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

dude. here is the thing. girls don't care about looks. i mean, some do, but those are like the supermodel type. if all girls cared about was looks, they would all be lesbians. think about it. why would they be attracted to cave-dwelling, hairy-assed, stale-popcorn smelling men?

How I missed this post the first time around I'll never know, but...

I can forgive you for spilling the beans because you gave some good advice.


You're my favorite knuckle-dragger.

xoxo lol

---

Here's a bit of knowledge that I've gained through my experience...women are a LOT more stealthy at stealing glances than guys are. When a guy is staring at a chick, it's fairly obvious. With women, it's harder to notice...unless they WANT you to notice. Women are like freaking ninjas when they're checking out a guy; they hide it very well.

What is it with you guy spilling all the trade secrets?!

This is true, though. I check people out all the time, but I'm subtle about it unlike the guys who are pointedly staring at my tits or whatever. I think that the last guy I went out with never once made eye contact with me the entire time. Der. I felt 6 inches shorter, FFS.

But yes, women are usually subtler at this. lol

---

i'm sure your tits were staring at him first ctf. let's at least be fair...

 

[cheaptrickfan]

i'm sure your tits were staring at him first ctf. let's at least be fair...

Not so! I do not dress like a floozie. It's hard to stare through layers of wool sweater and fleece sweatshirt; remember it snows here like 5 months of the year.

Knuckle-dragger.

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

i'm sure your tits were staring at him first ctf. let's at least be fair...

Not so! I do not dress like a floozie. It's hard to stare through layers of wool sweater and fleece sweatshirt; remember it snows here like 5 months of the year.

Knuckle-dragger.

haha, i can stare through an astronaut's suit!

ah, clothes, like wrapping paper

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Not so! I do not dress like a floozie. It's hard to stare through layers of wool sweater and fleece sweatshirt; remember it snows here like 5 months of the year.

Knuckle-dragger.

haha, i can stare through an astronaut's suit!

ah, clothes, like wrapping paper

Oh dear god no. I'm self-conscious as it is. I'll never be able to go out in public again!

 

[TheWickedOne]

Some men can undress with their eyes even though you've got on a turtleneck, sweater, and a coat.