A
Azure
Guest
well, i was hoping someone could shed some insight on my behaviours..
firstly, i used to be a very very shy boy...
but as things turned out, i've become the supervisor of the photography department in my store, after some years...
obviously i have had to become outgoing to reach the customers, and to have a strong voice to ensure satisfaction and complete my job.
however, none of that helped me to find anyone more than an acquaintance during my last few years of high school.
now i am stuck here, spending every night alone, still unable to find anyone i can call a friend.
considering i am the supervisor, i even have employees that work under me that i have to train, and angry people to deal with. this involves a good portion of leadership, and i can handle all the interaction with ease...
But why is it that i can't connect to anyone? Why is my life so quiet?
Why do I feel an attraction to both destruction and blood, yet at the same time, tranquility and beauty?
It shows in my music taste, as well as the programs i watch at night.
Usually i'm grimly content with it all, but sometimes i feel as if i could just leave the house, and wander away and never come back, and eventually collapse, lost to everyone, and it would take days for even my parents to notice.
I have some quality, loving friends that take away these feelings from me, but they live far away. I hope to move there during this coming summer, so i'm not without hope.. i'm just trying to learn more about myself, since there's nobody here to tell me, anymore. why am i like this?
firstly, i used to be a very very shy boy...
but as things turned out, i've become the supervisor of the photography department in my store, after some years...
obviously i have had to become outgoing to reach the customers, and to have a strong voice to ensure satisfaction and complete my job.
however, none of that helped me to find anyone more than an acquaintance during my last few years of high school.
now i am stuck here, spending every night alone, still unable to find anyone i can call a friend.
considering i am the supervisor, i even have employees that work under me that i have to train, and angry people to deal with. this involves a good portion of leadership, and i can handle all the interaction with ease...
But why is it that i can't connect to anyone? Why is my life so quiet?
Why do I feel an attraction to both destruction and blood, yet at the same time, tranquility and beauty?
It shows in my music taste, as well as the programs i watch at night.
Usually i'm grimly content with it all, but sometimes i feel as if i could just leave the house, and wander away and never come back, and eventually collapse, lost to everyone, and it would take days for even my parents to notice.
I have some quality, loving friends that take away these feelings from me, but they live far away. I hope to move there during this coming summer, so i'm not without hope.. i'm just trying to learn more about myself, since there's nobody here to tell me, anymore. why am i like this?