LET US END OUR LONLINESSS!

[ourcocoon]

I think the problem with all of us is finding HAPPINESS, and that will emerge as soon as we get attached to our unique self and work with it.
As a kid if we have been getting unconditional love, then naturally we should have been directed towards our unique self but unfortunately
it has not been the case with many of us and we have been mismanaged and taken from ourselves. The big question is why in the earth we can not find real friends or if found we fail to keep on maintaining it? And the big answer is we are still in the search of that unconditional love which we have not received or we lack receiving. In all of our relations we unconsciously check if the friendship and relation is unconditional, we delay response, we don't call back, we go to parties and do not feel like arranging one and re-inviting others, etc. to make sure that the relation is unconditional.This is how our non responsible action leads us to our loneliness.
LET US END OUR LONLINES. Let me not to finish here and let us all talk to find a unique solution for our problem.so what do you think? what should we do to end our loneliness?

 

[A new life]

I'm not a Luddite, but I think that all our technology, and convenience, and overcrowding in the cities has brought on a loneliness never seen before. We simply don't need each other in the ways we once did. And we no longer make our own entertainment (for the most part) and simply turn on the tube or the PC instead of just sitting by the fire or on the front porch and talking to each other.

 

[ourcocoon]

I'm not a Luddite, but I think that all our technology, and convenience, and overcrowding in the cities has brought on a loneliness never seen before. We simply don't need each other in the ways we once did. And we no longer make our own entertainment (for the most part) and simply turn on the tube or the PC instead of just sitting by the fire or on the front porch and talking to each other.

Hi "A new life"
I like your motivational name.
I think we have to differentiate between Industry and Capitalism. Industry has provided us with the opportunity of more experience and growth facilities with all its soft wares and hard wares. I think the problem is capitalism which has badly managed the societies and the world.Capitalism and its media has abused our emotions and passions for its own growth. Capitalism does not want mature and moderate people and societies. It likes the slaves and wants the people to get easily excited and passionate so that they can sell their ideas and goods.
Let us find some definition for LONELINESS. I googled around and did not find its roots.I like to define loneliness as an UNDISIDED period between total detachment and continuation of our non-matured interactions and relations.LONELINESS IS A STAGNENT CONDITION. As soon as we detach ourselves from our old habits which serve us no more and attach ourselves to our higher selves we provide opportunity for our unique self to unfold and WE WILL BE NO MORE LONELY.
I found an article about detachment and I have provided a link in my other post called "lonely vs detached"

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

I'm not a Luddite, but I think that all our technology, and convenience, and overcrowding in the cities has brought on a loneliness never seen before. We simply don't need each other in the ways we once did. And we no longer make our own entertainment (for the most part) and simply turn on the tube or the PC instead of just sitting by the fire or on the front porch and talking to each other.

I don't think sitting in front of the T.V. or playing video games is a reasonable form of lasting entertainment. I find it very frustrating that no one is able to partake in simple communication as entertainment. I would love nothing more than to sit in front of the fireplace with a drink and talk to someone I find very interesting... But there aren't enough people that enjoy that socialization anymore, and there aren't enough people that I find interesting... I hope that being in a big city will change this issue for me, because I'm currently stuck in a state full of idiots...

 

[apathy]

I do agree with the above posters that with all this technology; social networking sites and the like at our fingertips, real one-to-one interaction has been sparse. At least in my experience, many of my school mates seem to waste their time by reiterating , "LMAO." in every wallpost/comment on facebook. God, I could be typing just that while my real facial expression could be dull and unamused. ... What I would give to be huddling on a couch or lying on the grass with a friend while we could talk about everything and nothing. I used to have a friend that I could talk with, about anything at all. I feel like I've been left behind. I know that I would be better off not thinking about that altogether. Today, I thought about calling her again. Ourcocoon, you're spot on when you talked about "the search for unconditional love."
I did hesitate in calling her. Sometimes, I just think that history will repeat itself. I'd call her and we'd talk for an hour or two but the happiness is only short-lived. A momentary feeling. If I wasn't in a different country, maybe I could be hanging out with the few friends I had.

There was a school trip yesterday. I could have went, but instead, I just slept in. Now, everyone's posting pictures and videos of the ten-hour trip on their facebook pages. I'm not all that upset, just really envious. I think that when you're surrounded by people who just have zero similarities to you, breaking the ice is hard. I'm at that level where conversing with them just means small talk. I busy myself with school work but when the day is over, I feel that I don't matter at all. The friends I have in school hardly talk to me after school-hours.

My solution...? I'm not sure, maybe dabbling in whatever interests me at the moment. When you don't matter at all to your family and when you don't WANT to matter to them either when they're pretty dysfunctional, you turn to your friends, right? My close friends are millions of miles away and I haven't had many friends to begin with. Due to that, I'm losing them, as well, since everyone is moving on with their lives. Now, I'm surrounded by religious fanatics who are ZERO on my similarities and interests scale. I guess I should move on too.
My solution? Mm, I'll just continue to work doubly hard and graduate drone school by doing my personal best.
At the mean time? I've always liked drawing a lot. I've saved up for an intuos4 wacom tablet and I'll be getting It sometime next week I suppose. So, that is a bright spot in the week to come. That should keep me busy and away from feelings of loneliness for awhile.

 

[ourcocoon]

I do agree with the above posters that with all this technology; social networking sites and the like at our fingertips, real one-to-one interaction has been sparse. At least in my experience, many of my school mates seem to waste their time by reiterating , "LMAO." in every wallpost/comment on facebook. God, I could be typing just that while my real facial expression could be dull and unamused. ... What I would give to be huddling on a couch or lying on the grass with a friend while we could talk about everything and nothing. I used to have a friend that I could talk with, about anything at all. I feel like I've been left behind. I know that I would be better off not thinking about that altogether. Today, I thought about calling her again. Ourcocoon, you're spot on when you talked about "the search for unconditional love."
I did hesitate in calling her. Sometimes, I just think that history will repeat itself. I'd call her and we'd talk for an hour or two but the happiness is only short-lived. A momentary feeling. If I wasn't in a different country, maybe I could be hanging out with the few friends I had.

There was a school trip yesterday. I could have went, but instead, I just slept in. Now, everyone's posting pictures and videos of the ten-hour trip on their facebook pages. I'm not all that upset, just really envious. I think that when you're surrounded by people who just have zero similarities to you, breaking the ice is hard. I'm at that level where conversing with them just means small talk. I busy myself with school work but when the day is over, I feel that I don't matter at all. The friends I have in school hardly talk to me after school-hours.

My solution...? I'm not sure, maybe dabbling in whatever interests me at the moment. When you don't matter at all to your family and when you don't WANT to matter to them either when they're pretty dysfunctional, you turn to your friends, right? My close friends are millions of miles away and I haven't had many friends to begin with. Due to that, I'm losing them, as well, since everyone is moving on with their lives. Now, I'm surrounded by religious fanatics who are ZERO on my similarities and interests scale. I guess I should move on too.
My solution? Mm, I'll just continue to work doubly hard and graduate drone school by doing my personal best.
At the mean time? I've always liked drawing a lot. I've saved up for an intuos4 wacom tablet and I'll be getting It sometime next week I suppose. So, that is a bright spot in the week to come. That should keep me busy and away from feelings of loneliness for awhile.

Hi apathy
Being ourselves and letting our unique self to unfold is an art and it seems to me that you are quite an artist wish U good lock in your drawings and upgoing life affairs.
Let us make some common vision for our communication. I think we all agree that being service-oriented is superior than being self-oriented.
The difference between devoting ourselves to build a city or a country for the people with that of devoting ourselves to make a house for ourselves is that in the former case they will house us in the municipal house or the white house but in the latter case we have to stand in a Que for whole day to buy some discounted doors and windows.
It is always possible that we are being trapped in our self oriented affairs.Of Course having a well defined , respectful,and loving character is a must but from communication and social point of view our character should be response-able, outreaching and service oriented.I believe every other means of success will emerge as a result of this higher intention of us.
For our happiness and success the best available source is self-love, by running a balance and so called well-rounded life and smelling flowers on our way to success.This will also help us looking for the good in others and communicating love.
Take care

 

[slappopkarl]

I may be straying away from the topic but I think that personally my lonelyness is due to not having that special someone. I'm nearly 20 now and I've not had a girl friend for 4 years. I reckon when I find that special someone my lonelyness will fade and my happiness will boost.
But my problem is that I have no self confidence, don't trust anyone, and I am very shy. Where I used to be full of confidence.

 

[apathy]

I do agree with the above posters that with all this technology; social networking sites and the like at our fingertips, real one-to-one interaction has been sparse. At least in my experience, many of my school mates seem to waste their time by reiterating , "LMAO." in every wallpost/comment on facebook. God, I could be typing just that while my real facial expression could be dull and unamused. ... What I would give to be huddling on a couch or lying on the grass with a friend while we could talk about everything and nothing. I used to have a friend that I could talk with, about anything at all. I feel like I've been left behind. I know that I would be better off not thinking about that altogether. Today, I thought about calling her again. Ourcocoon, you're spot on when you talked about "the search for unconditional love."
I did hesitate in calling her. Sometimes, I just think that history will repeat itself. I'd call her and we'd talk for an hour or two but the happiness is only short-lived. A momentary feeling. If I wasn't in a different country, maybe I could be hanging out with the few friends I had.

There was a school trip yesterday. I could have went, but instead, I just slept in. Now, everyone's posting pictures and videos of the ten-hour trip on their facebook pages. I'm not all that upset, just really envious. I think that when you're surrounded by people who just have zero similarities to you, breaking the ice is hard. I'm at that level where conversing with them just means small talk. I busy myself with school work but when the day is over, I feel that I don't matter at all. The friends I have in school hardly talk to me after school-hours.

My solution...? I'm not sure, maybe dabbling in whatever interests me at the moment. When you don't matter at all to your family and when you don't WANT to matter to them either when they're pretty dysfunctional, you turn to your friends, right? My close friends are millions of miles away and I haven't had many friends to begin with. Due to that, I'm losing them, as well, since everyone is moving on with their lives. Now, I'm surrounded by religious fanatics who are ZERO on my similarities and interests scale. I guess I should move on too.
My solution? Mm, I'll just continue to work doubly hard and graduate drone school by doing my personal best.
At the mean time? I've always liked drawing a lot. I've saved up for an intuos4 wacom tablet and I'll be getting It sometime next week I suppose. So, that is a bright spot in the week to come. That should keep me busy and away from feelings of loneliness for awhile.

Hi apathy
Being ourselves and letting our unique self to unfold is an art and it seems to me that you are quite an artist wish U good lock in your drawings and upgoing life affairs.
Let us make some common vision for our communication. I think we all agree that being service-oriented is superior than being self-oriented.
The difference between devoting ourselves to build a city or a country for the people with that of devoting ourselves to make a house for ourselves is that in the former case they will house us in the municipal house or the white house but in the latter case we have to stand in a Que for whole day to buy some discounted doors and windows.
It is always possible that we are being trapped in our self oriented affairs.Of Course having a well defined , respectful,and loving character is a must but from communication and social point of view our character should be response-able, outreaching and service oriented.I believe every other means of success will emerge as a result of this higher intention of us.
For our happiness and success the best available source is self-love, by running a balance and so called well-rounded life and smelling flowers on our way to success.This will also help us looking for the good in others and communicating love.
Take care

Hm... correct me if I've misinterpreted your words, but, are you saying that by devoting ourselves to a common group; you'll be successful?
I don't know... How am I suppose to be "involved", while being surrounded by people with no common ground, similar interests, attitudes, values or beliefs? If there was common ground, trust me, I wouldn't be feeling blah about being alone.

Self-love..... how are you suppose to love yourself when you only notice your flaws? To be less self-critical?
Maybe that's something I could..... work on.

Hm, your last paragraph is good advice and is quite similar to one of my favorite stories. Your words remind me of a story from "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho.
http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2010/02/04/the-two-drops-of-oil-2/

I get it, balancing the teaspoon of oil is like going through the mundane everyday tasks: school, work or dodging your dysfunctional family. But, what are the wonders of the world? What fills me with wonder or awe? Maybe I could figure that out...

 

[ourcocoon]

I may be straying away from the topic but I think that personally my lonelyness is due to not having that special someone. I'm nearly 20 now and I've not had a girl friend for 4 years. I reckon when I find that special someone my lonelyness will fade and my happiness will boost.
But my problem is that I have no self confidence, don't trust anyone, and I am very shy. Where I used to be full of confidence.

Hi Slappokarl and welcome to the conversation
Felling lonely is when we feel we are left behind in life while everyone else is moving on and MATURING. This is the period we try to figure out who we are and we try to find ourselves. It is the time of inspiration when we have to get rid of our EXPIERD habits which are no more of use to us and getting INSPIRED. It is a transformation period when we have to learn flying.In falling in love the subject in not love, but THE FALLING. It is all about us who has to LEARN flying.

 

[slappopkarl]

I'm only young so I guess I didn't understand that but do u mean that we are unable to come to terms with our emotions and untill we do we won't progress on our relationships and friendships? Thus leading to more lonliness due to not moving forward where people carry on moving forward?

 

[ourcocoon]

I do agree with the above posters that with all this technology; social networking sites and the like at our fingertips, real one-to-one interaction has been sparse. At least in my experience, many of my school mates seem to waste their time by reiterating , "LMAO." in every wallpost/comment on facebook. God, I could be typing just that while my real facial expression could be dull and unamused. ... What I would give to be huddling on a couch or lying on the grass with a friend while we could talk about everything and nothing. I used to have a friend that I could talk with, about anything at all. I feel like I've been left behind. I know that I would be better off not thinking about that altogether. Today, I thought about calling her again. Ourcocoon, you're spot on when you talked about "the search for unconditional love."
I did hesitate in calling her. Sometimes, I just think that history will repeat itself. I'd call her and we'd talk for an hour or two but the happiness is only short-lived. A momentary feeling. If I wasn't in a different country, maybe I could be hanging out with the few friends I had.

There was a school trip yesterday. I could have went, but instead, I just slept in. Now, everyone's posting pictures and videos of the ten-hour trip on their facebook pages. I'm not all that upset, just really envious. I think that when you're surrounded by people who just have zero similarities to you, breaking the ice is hard. I'm at that level where conversing with them just means small talk. I busy myself with school work but when the day is over, I feel that I don't matter at all. The friends I have in school hardly talk to me after school-hours.

My solution...? I'm not sure, maybe dabbling in whatever interests me at the moment. When you don't matter at all to your family and when you don't WANT to matter to them either when they're pretty dysfunctional, you turn to your friends, right? My close friends are millions of miles away and I haven't had many friends to begin with. Due to that, I'm losing them, as well, since everyone is moving on with their lives. Now, I'm surrounded by religious fanatics who are ZERO on my similarities and interests scale. I guess I should move on too.
My solution? Mm, I'll just continue to work doubly hard and graduate drone school by doing my personal best.
At the mean time? I've always liked drawing a lot. I've saved up for an intuos4 wacom tablet and I'll be getting It sometime next week I suppose. So, that is a bright spot in the week to come. That should keep me busy and away from feelings of loneliness for awhile.

Hi apathy
Being ourselves and letting our unique self to unfold is an art and it seems to me that you are quite an artist wish U good lock in your drawings and upgoing life affairs.
Let us make some common vision for our communication. I think we all agree that being service-oriented is superior than being self-oriented.
The difference between devoting ourselves to build a city or a country for the people with that of devoting ourselves to make a house for ourselves is that in the former case they will house us in the municipal house or the white house but in the latter case we have to stand in a Que for whole day to buy some discounted doors and windows.
It is always possible that we are being trapped in our self oriented affairs.Of Course having a well defined , respectful,and loving character is a must but from communication and social point of view our character should be response-able, outreaching and service oriented.I believe every other means of success will emerge as a result of this higher intention of us.
For our happiness and success the best available source is self-love, by running a balance and so called well-rounded life and smelling flowers on our way to success.This will also help us looking for the good in others and communicating love.
Take care

Hm... correct me if I've misinterpreted your words, but, are you saying that by devoting ourselves to a common group; you'll be successful?
I don't know... How am I suppose to be "involved", while being surrounded by people with no common ground, similar interests, attitudes, values or beliefs? If there was common ground, trust me, I wouldn't be feeling blah about being alone.

Self-love..... how are you suppose to love yourself when you only notice your flaws? To be less self-critical?
Maybe that's something I could..... work on.

Hm, your last paragraph is good advice and is quite similar to one of my favorite stories. Your words remind me of a story from "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho.
http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2010/02/04/the-two-drops-of-oil-2/

I get it, balancing the teaspoon of oil is like going through the mundane everyday tasks: school, work or dodging your dysfunctional family. But, what are the wonders of the world? What fills me with wonder or awe? Maybe I could figure that out...

OK...Always see the problems as opportunities. In group activities whomever having the end in mind will emerge as a leader!
In communication the key is accepting the fact that every human being is a distinctly unique individual and our concern should be the others not ourselves. That is how we communicate love.
In self-esteem esteem means to appreciate the value of, we should always look for good in ourselves. All of us are a unique being and discovering and living with our unique self is the source of our existential joy. that is the life beyond normal happiness.
Good Luck

---

I'm only young so I guess I didn't understand that but do u mean that we are unable to come to terms with our emotions and untill we do we won't progress on our relationships and friendships? Thus leading to more lonliness due to not moving forward where people carry on moving forward

You said it great. I am proud of U.
We are not our emotions. But our behavior usually is a direct result of our emotional state. it is the matter of feeling vs thinking. We should live with the image of uncreated potentials that lie within us.We should overcome our impulses and desires by working on virtues and values.
Good Luck

 

[ourcocoon]

I do agree with the above posters that with all this technology; social networking sites and the like at our fingertips, real one-to-one interaction has been sparse. At least in my experience, many of my school mates seem to waste their time by reiterating , "LMAO." in every wallpost/comment on facebook. God, I could be typing just that while my real facial expression could be dull and unamused. ... What I would give to be huddling on a couch or lying on the grass with a friend while we could talk about everything and nothing. I used to have a friend that I could talk with, about anything at all. I feel like I've been left behind. I know that I would be better off not thinking about that altogether. Today, I thought about calling her again. Ourcocoon, you're spot on when you talked about "the search for unconditional love."
I did hesitate in calling her. Sometimes, I just think that history will repeat itself. I'd call her and we'd talk for an hour or two but the happiness is only short-lived. A momentary feeling. If I wasn't in a different country, maybe I could be hanging out with the few friends I had.

There was a school trip yesterday. I could have went, but instead, I just slept in. Now, everyone's posting pictures and videos of the ten-hour trip on their facebook pages. I'm not all that upset, just really envious. I think that when you're surrounded by people who just have zero similarities to you, breaking the ice is hard. I'm at that level where conversing with them just means small talk. I busy myself with school work but when the day is over, I feel that I don't matter at all. The friends I have in school hardly talk to me after school-hours.

My solution...? I'm not sure, maybe dabbling in whatever interests me at the moment. When you don't matter at all to your family and when you don't WANT to matter to them either when they're pretty dysfunctional, you turn to your friends, right? My close friends are millions of miles away and I haven't had many friends to begin with. Due to that, I'm losing them, as well, since everyone is moving on with their lives. Now, I'm surrounded by religious fanatics who are ZERO on my similarities and interests scale. I guess I should move on too.
My solution? Mm, I'll just continue to work doubly hard and graduate drone school by doing my personal best.
At the mean time? I've always liked drawing a lot. I've saved up for an intuos4 wacom tablet and I'll be getting It sometime next week I suppose. So, that is a bright spot in the week to come. That should keep me busy and away from feelings of loneliness for awhile.

Hi apathy
Being ourselves and letting our unique self to unfold is an art and it seems to me that you are quite an artist wish U good lock in your drawings and upgoing life affairs.
Let us make some common vision for our communication. I think we all agree that being service-oriented is superior than being self-oriented.
The difference between devoting ourselves to build a city or a country for the people with that of devoting ourselves to make a house for ourselves is that in the former case they will house us in the municipal house or the white house but in the latter case we have to stand in a Que for whole day to buy some discounted doors and windows.
It is always possible that we are being trapped in our self oriented affairs.Of Course having a well defined , respectful,and loving character is a must but from communication and social point of view our character should be response-able, outreaching and service oriented.I believe every other means of success will emerge as a result of this higher intention of us.
For our happiness and success the best available source is self-love, by running a balance and so called well-rounded life and smelling flowers on our way to success.This will also help us looking for the good in others and communicating love.
Take care

Hm... correct me if I've misinterpreted your words, but, are you saying that by devoting ourselves to a common group; you'll be successful?
I don't know... How am I suppose to be "involved", while being surrounded by people with no common ground, similar interests, attitudes, values or beliefs? If there was common ground, trust me, I wouldn't be feeling blah about being alone.

Self-love..... how are you suppose to love yourself when you only notice your flaws? To be less self-critical?
Maybe that's something I could..... work on.

Hm, your last paragraph is good advice and is quite similar to one of my favorite stories. Your words remind me of a story from "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho.
http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2010/02/04/the-two-drops-of-oil-2/

I get it, balancing the teaspoon of oil is like going through the mundane everyday tasks: school, work or dodging your dysfunctional family. But, what are the wonders of the world? What fills me with wonder or awe? Maybe I could figure that out...

Hi...I did write you yesterday but it seems it is not gone through so I am writing it again.
Well.. We have to turn problems into opportunities. In any group activities the one with the end in mind will turn out to be the leader!
.....We have to joyfully accept that every human being is a distinctly unique individual and it is these differences that leads to the discovery of our uncreated potentials.We will be bound to live with the people similar to us, when we have defined and bound ourselves to our limitations. Self discovery is freedom beyond our self definitions. We need to live a conscious immersing life based on our imagination beyond our present reality and limited past. We should live out our imaginations and not our memories. to be bound to our limitless potentials and rather than limiting past.
....In effective communication our concern should be other persons need, and to empowering ourselves to help them to fill those needs.
Our main problem in communication is usually lack of attention and presence.Lack of attention will usually force us to to focus on what we are going to tell next rather than immersing ourselves in the conversation and expanding what other person is saying.
I found attention being very much related to our breathing. our longs does not have muscles and our breathing can be pretty much emotional. we should be aware of our breathing and keep on doing daily immersive exercises.
.....In the word self-esteem, esteem means "to appreciate the value of" , we should always look for good in ourselves ,this is the key to being of value to others. Living with and valuing our unique self is the key to our existential joy which is beyond daily happiness.
Take care