LGBT Thread

[FaeGrl30]

I'm lesbian with a partner of 9 years. I usually talk about her in threads and stuff. Lived near San Francisco for a while, loved it. Was out to everyone. Now I'm in AZ. Have to talk about my "Husband" instead of my "Wife". It sucks. Here I figure if you judge me, you don't really know me, so what.

Arizona is a horribly horribly red conservative "christian" state.

I second that sentiment! I once knew someone who lived in Arizona and things are pretty judgmental there. At least compared to where I live, on the East Coast. It's a very conservative state! Hugs to you, bordeilla. :-(

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A asexual-bisexual here, who is also.....'forever alone'.

Ha! I'm "forever alone" too... but it doesn't bother me when it means romantically. I'm happy being single at the moment. It's the other "alone" that I don't like. ;o_o

 

[ajdass1]

Lesbian trans woman. Pre-everything. Just trying to sort myself out... trying not to let fear run my life. Scared of all the social upheavals I'll be making in the coming year - even more scared of the prospect of things staying the same, just getting more and more miserable until I eventually can't take it anymore. Also having to deal with the fact that basically everybody will hate me, and lesbians will probably just be grossed out, so I'll probably be even lonelier than before. For all that though, I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I feel like I'm finally on the path to becoming who I really am.

 

[drifted]

Lesbian trans woman. Pre-everything. Just trying to sort myself out... trying not to let fear run my life. Scared of all the social upheavals I'll be making in the coming year - even more scared of the prospect of things staying the same, just getting more and more miserable until I eventually can't take it anymore. Also having to deal with the fact that basically everybody will hate me, and lesbians will probably just be grossed out, so I'll probably be even lonelier than before. For all that though, I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I feel like I'm finally on the path to becoming who I really am.

transwomen have it really rough, hostility from so many directions. From what i've seen, transmen are more readily accepted in lesbian spaces..Not to depress you further...

This year i've understood all the difficulties transmen and women face so i've tried to become better ally, in the ways that I can, mostly by attemping to purge myself of essentialist thinking. I've tried to learn more about transmisogyny specifically..

 

[FaeGrl30]

Oh, ajdass1... I can relate a little. I am not trans, but it took me until age 21 to "come out" as bisexual to my friends and family, even though I knew it since I was 12. It was fear and well placed fear too! I did lose the two "friends" I had and upset some of my more religious relatives. Funny thing is, they didn't mind when I "came out" as Pagan two years prior, but had a real issue with me being bisexual. LOL! But, it felt better to stop living the lie or hiding my attraction for women and playing it strictly "straight". I hated the drama, but I don't regret it for a second! I'm more free and happier in my life, being honest.
But let me just say, if you lose friends over this, most likely they aren't your true friends in the first place. And you're better off without them. It's better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you are not. I wish you lots of luck and many hugs!

 

[SophiaGrace]

Lesbian trans woman. Pre-everything. Just trying to sort myself out... trying not to let fear run my life. Scared of all the social upheavals I'll be making in the coming year - even more scared of the prospect of things staying the same, just getting more and more miserable until I eventually can't take it anymore. Also having to deal with the fact that basically everybody will hate me, and lesbians will probably just be grossed out, so I'll probably be even lonelier than before. For all that though, I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I feel like I'm finally on the path to becoming who I really am.

I. Support. You. (hug)

 

[bulmabriefs144]

I never could keep straight transwoman and transman, and which was which. It's made worse because some of the gender sites can't seem to keep it straight either. MtF and FtM transsexual works better.

I vary from simply wanting to crossdress, to wanting to be an actual woman.

Male crossdresser, myself, I like women (I hate men, because I tend to see them as bullies and abusers). Even if I did decide to become a woman, I'd likely stay well clear of men (they'd be more likely to kill me off).

The first thing women ask me when learning about what I'm like "are you gay" (ummmm, (I'm hanging out with you pretty often) probably not) and "do you want to be a woman" (no idea...).

 

[A_T_Swordsman]

Not LGBT, but I have a lot of friends who are.
My best friend right now is a gay guy. He made me go to a big LGBT event with him here so I could get a shirt that said "Straight but not narrow" but they were too expensive XD

I'm probably different in that I don't define my orientation based on sex but on gender *shrugs*
There is a saying on the internet: "If it's pretty, f*ck it" but since I'm a romantic I go by "If it's pretty, fall in love with it" ^_^

 

[SophiaGrace]

Aw "if its pretty, Id fall in love with it." So cute. ^_^

 

[Limlim]

Oh hell no, if you go by that then EVERYONE would fall in love with me. Because I am just oh so pretty.

 

[bulmabriefs144]

I think that's part of why I hate men (and thus, by extension, myself). Hairy limbs and back are not pretty.

 

[frizzler]

I'm straight but if people want to be with someone the gender doesn't matter at all.
As long as you're happy i'm happy.
TBH I have some curiosity on trans.... seing a trans and a woman is much hotter than seeing a man and a woman.

 

[bulmabriefs144]

I found this article interesting. In a bad way.

Apparently it's legal to throw out women who are muscular and hairy from a female only function because they might be trans.

 

[bulmabriefs144]

Update: Apparently, my brother found this website somehow, and found out about me.

So, how do you react when someone finds out about you (he basically said, if you wanna talk, you're welcome. To which I basically said, I was at a loss what to say about it)?

 

[A_T_Swordsman]

Update: Apparently, my brother found this website somehow, and found out about me.

So, how do you react when someone finds out about you (he basically said, if you wanna talk, you're welcome. To which I basically said, I was at a loss what to say about it)?

Honestly? I would find it easier to write to someone about something like this. Skype IMing him or facebook chatting or even texting could be the way to go.

Hmm... Obviously, the way you expect your brother to react plays a huge role in how you approach it.

 

[bulmabriefs144]

He basically just emailed me, so I emailed him back.

I guess my question was less on how to deal with this, and more in terms of your own experiences being outted.

 

[ajdass1]

I have no idea how I'd deal with that. From what you said it doesn't sound like he's having a cow about it, though. But it doesn't sound like there's much to talk about?

I've only been outed without my consent twice, to this guy and his wife who are quite close to my family. It basically changed nothing except I think the wife is being a little bit nicer to me overall. So that was very lucky!

But I haven't been outed my someone randomly stumbling into me on the internet. @_@

 

[bulmabriefs144]

Apparently, the shopgirl in a clothing store I frequent knows. She gives this snarky smile every time I walk in and last time I got something she said "you still don't have one of our discount cards? You shop here all the time." (well, not really, I've only been in there about four times in about as many months but still, it's kinda funny)

 

[SophiaGrace]

Apparently, the shopgirl in a clothing store I frequent knows. She gives this snarky smile every time I walk in and last time I got something she said "you still don't have one of our discount cards? You shop here all the time." (well, not really, I've only been in there about four times in about as many months but still, it's kinda funny)

How can you be sure she knows? Maybe she's just a *****.

 

[bulmabriefs144]

She makes extremely snarky comments, like "It's for your girlfriend?" "You're shopping for Christmas?" when it doesn't sound like she believes either of those. Which is sorta cool, because she seems okay with it without being as you say "a *****."

I think it was obvious when I ordered size 11 wedge shoes (which I have no idea how I fit into them, since I'm a men's 10.5), and later asked about the fitting room for another pair of shoes (to which she said "you want the men's or the women's fitting room?")

Anyone afraid to shop at major stores because you think little old ladies will judge you, remember, such places generally don't last long. Good stores, and good employees, are neutral. And even better ones have a nice sense of humor.

 

[SophiaGrace]

At least you have enough confidence to go and do it anyways, despite her snark.