Majority feels lonely at the age of 20's

[goixa]

It's good to see people thinking positive. But the statement that majority of people in their twenties feel lonely is not true in my life. Most of the people around me are NOT, they are all in relationships. I'll be 27 in two months and I feel like an odd-one-out. I'm so lonely I can't express that. I have friends and family, but I live in a different country than my family. It's so true what was said above, that friendship (all relationships for that matter) are different when you're a grown-up. The lucky ones get together, marry, have kids, and do not the less lucky ones so much as they did in high school. I tried everything, I think I'm an interesting and attractive person, but I feel I will always be alone. I feel not everyone is destined to meet their special someone. I'm getting older and I think I need to get used to this idea. No point dreaming of sth that will never come true.

 

[ThinkPositive]

goixa -

Okay, first of all, being lonely does not necessarily have anything to do with being in a relationship or not, so get that out of your head. I am in a relationship, as are some others on this forum, but I'm still often lonely because I don't have close friends (or family) nearby. In fact, you can have friends, family, AND a relationship, and still feel lonely, if you don't feel enough of a connection with them.

Now, who cares if you're the "odd-one-out"? Stop thinking so hard and stop trying so hard. You say you've "tried everything." Have you tried just NOT trying? People can sense your desperation, you know, if you're trying too hard. They'll worry that you'll be too clingy. You don't have to cop this all-or-nothing attitude! Just relax...be okay with yourself for not being in a relationship, but at the same time, stay open to the possibility.

 

[goixa]

Thanks for you reply, ThinkPositive. I have never said that being lonely equals being single. I know you can be very lonely even in a relationship, even surrounded by family. I was just describing my own sense of loneliness. And it's not that I'm overtly desperate - I'm not attacking guys telling them I'm looking for a husband. I'm just trying to be open and friendly to the people I meet. As for trying everything - this is a double-edged sword. If you don't do anything, you (and sometimes other people) think this feeling is your own fault, that you should be doing sth to change that. I'm not saying either that being single/odd-one-out is bad in general. I'm just saying it's not working for me. It's OK for me in different parts of my life - I chose to pursue academic career in a different country and I don't regret it, and I like my new country of residence. But I always felt I wanted to be a wife and a mother, I never dreamt of a showbiz or financial career, just of having my own family.
So, I'm not trying anymore. It seems I should be happy with what I have. But I do feel very lonely sometimes. Very, very isolated.

 

[strugl]

Pray? Pray?? Never ending unanswered prayers are the source of much unhappiness.
I used to pray every morning that I get over this . I gave up on that and attempted to just express grace and thankfullnes to God and just be gratefull for what I have .........but then that did not work it all ended in bitter asking pleading for answers now I do not care much because I am sure that is not where my answers are not going to come from.

The rest of the advice is spot on
think positively
believe(in noone but yourself)
keep going

 

[newbie_86]

I'm not sure if loneliness happens to evry1 in their 20's...but this is true for me. I used to have a close bunch of mates in high school and a small group of friends in university. we would all hang out and just goof around all the time which was great. but as time went on, careers began, we drifted apart and i seemed to lose touch with evryone i knew (besides on facebook). i now regret this, and dont have the guts to ring any of them out of the blue to ask if they wanna grab a beer or do whatever. I do currently have work mates and i've come to know some friendly people through my older brother. however, i still feel so lonely most times because i dont have anyone that i'm truly close with..or who i can socialise with or just ring up and talk about my day. i'm afraid that if i let the current people in my life know that i feel this way and desperatly need a close friend because i have none, that they will see me as a burden. to tell you the truth...i would see myself as a burden on them and i'm too proud for that to happen. it's probably just best to find some people/friends who are in the same boat. so thats why i'm here to chat. who knows, if any of u are down in the sydney area we might even catch up for a beer (or coffee)
oh well, there's my little rant for day....time now to keep on truckin'