My Hypervigilance

[Jesse]

This is caused by my PTSD.

Example 1:

I went to my friend Joel's house last night. I've been there several times, but even still when I go into his house I look around. I "scan" the environment that surrounds me, checking out every corner of the room. According to what I've read, this is to check for possible threats to my safety. I do this anywhere I go.

Example 2:

At work there is a long desk with 3 computers on it. 3 people may be occupying these computers. Assume that I am one of these people. While I may be looking at my computer screen, I am secretly watching the people on either side of me with my peripheral vision. I see every move they make whether it be moving the mouse, typing on the keyboard, looking around, eating, breathing, anything. I'm paying close attention even though I'm not directly looking at them. The others at their computers may be focusing on their moniter's and not thinking about what I'm doing at all, however I am constantly aware of what they're doing.

Both of these things are automatic. It's because I'm in a shell-shock mode of awareness. I wish I could stop this.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Jesse, do you have any idea what sort of threats you are looking for??

Doesn't being hypervigilant make you tired because you have to expend more energy being uptight and anxious?

You know, you aren't helpless anymore, you're an adult that has much much more control over his environment, who he associates with & what direction his life takes than a child does. You are safe Jesse, no one can ever make you feel helpless ever again.

Somehow, you just have to convince yourself of this. Maybe repeat a mantra to yourself, or force yourself to relax?

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

jesse, as a victim of severe childhood physical abuse, I am very similar, it sucks doesn't it?

 

[Badjedidude]

I went to my friend Joel's house last night. I've been there several times, but even still when I go into his house I look around. I "scan" the environment that surrounds me, checking out every corner of the room. According to what I've read, this is to check for possible threats to my safety. I do this anywhere I go.

Haha I do things that are very similar....I don't think it's a problem, really. It just means that you're sensetive and forward-looking for threats, which in my book is a GOOD thing. Don't look at it as being abnormal....look at it as being proactive and ready for danger....like a wary predator, sort of.

I can't sit with my back to a door...and if I'm in a large room with people, I generally want to be in the very back of the room so I can see what everyone is doing and where they are. Strangely parked cars draw my attention. I don't like to have the blinds of my house windows open. When I go somewhere new, I end up checking every room to make a mental note of who is there. I look under things to make sure there's nothing under them...etc etc etc. Is it paranoia? Sure. Is it bad? I don't think so.

If you begin to appreciate your hypervigilance as a GOOD quality, then I think it might become a bit easier for you to handle.

----Steve

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

I went to my friend Joel's house last night. I've been there several times, but even still when I go into his house I look around. I "scan" the environment that surrounds me, checking out every corner of the room. According to what I've read, this is to check for possible threats to my safety. I do this anywhere I go.

Haha I do things that are very similar....I don't think it's a problem, really. It just means that you're sensetive and forward-looking for threats, which in my book is a GOOD thing. Don't look at it as being abnormal....look at it as being proactive and ready for danger....like a wary predator, sort of.

I can't sit with my back to a door...and if I'm in a large room with people, I generally want to be in the very back of the room so I can see what everyone is doing and where they are. Strangely parked cars draw my attention. I don't like to have the blinds of my house windows open. When I go somewhere new, I end up checking every room to make a mental note of who is there. I look under things to make sure there's nothing under them...etc etc etc. Is it paranoia? Sure. Is it bad? I don't think so.

If you begin to appreciate your hypervigilance as a GOOD quality, then I think it might become a bit easier for you to handle.

----Steve

i don't know. this guy obviously has a concern about the way he is feeling. he could just be careful. or he genuinely could be suffering from PTSD, genuine paranoia, or any other psychological issue. i wouldn't be too hasty to recommend "embracing" it. LOL

just my two cents , but if jesse ain't feeling good about his, maybe he should seek help.

 

[Badjedidude]

*shrug* Fair enough.

It's just my experience that usually "bad" situations are "bad" because we choose to look at them that way. At LEAST half of dealing with ANY situation is a person's attitude. *shrug* and I have sort of a similar thing going on with me...but it's never really bothered me....because hey, if something ever does happen, I will be READY FOR IT!! lol

I'm not saying he shouldn't seek help about it...just that he should consider other options, too.

----Steve

 

[mintymint]

I know what you mean. In so many situations, I just know that I've given about 20 times more thought the people in my vicinity then they have to me or each other. I mean, they're just reading the paper or drinking their coffee and I'm like what would happen if he comes over and does this or that? What would I do? Then how would he react? And the constant gravitating towards wall and corners Can't let people sit behind me! They could be evil and up to no good! But I have to say that reality has never backed up this insidious paranoia. And yet... here I am doing it. lol

 

[Nitramici]

I know what you mean. In so many situations, I just know that I've given about 20 times more thought the people in my vicinity then they have to me or each other. I mean, they're just reading the paper or drinking their coffee and I'm like what would happen if he comes over and does this or that? What would I do? Then how would he react? And the constant gravitating towards wall and corners Can't let people sit behind me! They could be evil and up to no good! But I have to say that reality has never backed up this insidious paranoia. And yet... here I am doing it. lol

I've totally done that a thousand time already, hahaha. >.<

To be honest, I'm sure a lot of people think the same thing we do even while they're "reading" their newspaper. I always have a book on me in the buses and stuff, but oftentimes my mind drifts off while I'm "reading" it.

 

[Badjedidude]

Haha so it sounds like this is something that's fairly common in all of us...mostly guys, I think. Perhaps men are just hard-wired with this behavior. We have to always be ready for action and danger, always aware of our surroundings and of what's going on in order to react best to it.

So I think it's not such a bad thing to be sorta paranoid, Jesse. Haha

----Steve

 

[kelbo]

I can't sit with my back to a door...and if I'm in a large room with people, I generally want to be in the very back of the room so I can see what everyone is doing and where they are. Strangely parked cars draw my attention. I don't like to have the blinds of my house windows open. When I go somewhere new, I end up checking every room to make a mental note of who is there. I look under things to make sure there's nothing under them...etc etc etc. Is it paranoia? Sure. Is it bad? I don't think so.

I am the exact same. I can't even have a door slightly ajar - it freaks me out.
I cross the road if someone is walking towards me or behind me. My curtains are always closed. I hate walking in parks on my own too, which isn't good because it'd be nice to go on a sunny day for a walk, but I just can't. I have to re-make my bed every single night and check every door and window is locked. I also have to check the oven and all electrical things are off too.

My behaviours are very routine though. I am a worrier by nature, I check my phone alarm about 5 times before I go to bed, just to make sure that it is on so it will wake me up for work in the morning. I also HAVE to have a wee before I go to bed. If I get into bed without going to the toilet, I'll actually lay there in bed and worry and think about it until I'll have to force myself up and to the toilet. I just won't be able to sleep otherwise.

Yes I am weird. :club:

You know, you aren't helpless anymore, you're an adult that has much much more control over his environment, who he associates with & what direction his life takes than a child does. You are safe Jesse, no one can ever make you feel helpless ever again.

Somehow, you just have to convince yourself of this. Maybe repeat a mantra to yourself, or force yourself to relax?

That is really good advice. Have you tried CBT before? That could possibly help you.

 

[Jesse]

The scanning my environment isn't too bad, but the thing where I watch people with my peripherals really bothers me. It causes me a lot of anxiety.

 

[Aedammair]

I actually try to do the same thing. Watching people out of the corner of my eye, scanning my environment. If I hear someone walking behind me I move to a position I can defend myself, or to look behind me to see who it is. Don't think it is actually a bad thing.
Be aware of it and don't let it distract you from your work, but otherwise, why worry about it? Your just keeping yourself safe.


Aedammair

 

[mintymint]

This conversation reminds me of an old Kids in The Hall sketch.

 

[Badjedidude]

ZOMG, minty, 10 points for awesomeness!!!

I loved Kids in The Hall when it was still on.

----Steve