L
lonelywolf
Guest
I am so crazy. I know I am. I am afraid I am going to end up , get this, all alone. cliche around here huh? I am fine right now, I just transfered to a new college. But I just cannot connect with other people. I find them shallow and feel like they would not understand me.
I have delved into this world inside my head. Where i am a hero and am loved. I am in control. I am talking about daydreams, dreams, movies I watch, ect. I obsess over show after show. . .Like stargate, any anime, and now it is Doctor Who. I want so much to be taken away. For this great thing to happen to me. Where I am important and what I do matters, and it is an adventure, and someone cares about me. I find when I wake up that life is listless and pointless. I'd rather be at home, or daydreaming.
People who have the same interests as me (anime, sci-fi, ect.) I find I do not fit in with. I am never the same person everyday. Some days I am girly and other times I am punk...ect. I don't think the same way they do, I do not live in herds. I am a loner. I do not associate with groups. God I hate myself. I am tired of thinking. I wonder what the point of getting up everyday and going to school will accomplish.
I want so badly for something to happen to me. Something amazing like in the movies. I hate myself, and often tell myself that even if those things could happen, they would never happen to you because you are stupid and a horrible person. I don't know what to do.
I want something better than this world, this rat race. So, that is my rant. : ) I know it sounds crazy. But I am trapping myself in my mind b/c I hate who I am and everything I do in reality, I guess.
I have delved into this world inside my head. Where i am a hero and am loved. I am in control. I am talking about daydreams, dreams, movies I watch, ect. I obsess over show after show. . .Like stargate, any anime, and now it is Doctor Who. I want so much to be taken away. For this great thing to happen to me. Where I am important and what I do matters, and it is an adventure, and someone cares about me. I find when I wake up that life is listless and pointless. I'd rather be at home, or daydreaming.
People who have the same interests as me (anime, sci-fi, ect.) I find I do not fit in with. I am never the same person everyday. Some days I am girly and other times I am punk...ect. I don't think the same way they do, I do not live in herds. I am a loner. I do not associate with groups. God I hate myself. I am tired of thinking. I wonder what the point of getting up everyday and going to school will accomplish.
I want so badly for something to happen to me. Something amazing like in the movies. I hate myself, and often tell myself that even if those things could happen, they would never happen to you because you are stupid and a horrible person. I don't know what to do.
I want something better than this world, this rat race. So, that is my rant. : ) I know it sounds crazy. But I am trapping myself in my mind b/c I hate who I am and everything I do in reality, I guess.