Need advice on how to fit in with a group

[Runciter]

Just wanted to wish you luck one last time Locke. I'm sure you're going to do fine!

 

[Locke]

Thanks! I feel better about it than I did when I made this thread. I'm hardly worried now.

 

[Locke]

I thought I'd let everyone know how it went.

I didn't make a complete ass out of myself, and I managed to keep some control of my anxiety. I did say some stupid things and was uncomfortable the entire time, and keeping myself from having a panic attack was complete hell. I'm probably the only one who noticed though, and people seemed to actually like me. So it went a lot better than I thought it would.

I'm kind of depressed and exhausted though. Things shouldn't be this difficult, and I doubt that anything will ever be easy or fun again.

Lol, I probably sound like I've been through a warzone. Sorry. I'm just really, really tired. I wanted to thank everyone for the advice and encouragement. It helped a lot, and without that things would have gone worse or I might not have gone at all. And now that I have the advice maybe it'll be easier next time.

Thank you all again.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Glad to hear it went well, although it exhausted you, Locke. Well, one step at a time. Eventually, it will get easier and easier.

 

[Runciter]

I'm pleased for you mate!

Don't worry about saying the odd thing that makes you look silly, thats all part of the fun and you'll look back on that and laugh one day.
The first time you meet new people is always hard but it can only get easier from now on. Get some rest and I'm sure you'll feel a lot better about it all.

You're a great example for the the other socially anxious people out there. Sometimes there's nothing you can do about a situation, but facing them head on with a positive attitude, although hard, is all you can do and you're better off for it.

 

[Edward W]

Glad things went pretty wll overall. Well done!

 

[Locke]

Thanks Edward, Runciter and lady!

Sorry if I sounded negative earlier, I was pretty tired. I'm happy with how things turned out, and again, I was able to do it because of people in this thread and the helpful advice. I do think it'll get easier, and hopefully I'll be able to a concert or baseball game again someday.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Nah! I don't think you complain. To be honest- again I feel like I'm a big nag and seem to annoy everyone. It's most likely I believe that I may suffer from low self esteem and lack of confidence. Glad you decided to reach out, for most people it's hard. I'm glad you've gotten a lot of support and advice on here. Keep letting us know how you're doing.

If you ever need to vent or someone to talk too, send me a pm, I'll be willing to listen. And always happy to helping others. =)

You're probably right - it probably is a self esteem issue. It's just so hard to tell what others are thinking. It is hard for me to reach out on this forum too - I feel ignored sometimes, probably because I post stupid stuff or annoy people or I'm just not liked. I know I've annoyed or offended a couple of people on ALL without meaning to - hopefully they'll forgive me for that someday. I want to unregister my account every day, but I keep going because I don't have anyone else to talk to about this stuff.

Thank you! I will take you up on that, and I'm always ready to listen too.

Yeah trust me, I feel the same way. There's many times I want too get rid of my account here but I never do. I've left so many forums cause I never seem to finish anything cause I guess of fear. Your a good person though and I can tell that by how you talk in your threads. By the way- I'm glad things turned out well for you. And thanks again! =) This was actually a really helpful thread cause I'm sure there's others out there who don't know how to fit into a group or how to act.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

For the record, Locke and Wallflower, I like both of you.

But I know the feeling of being disliked. I've tried to leave here several times, but can't figure out how to unregister without contacting a mod, and somehow I don't feel they would grant my request.

I don't feel I fit in anywhere. Every social group possible, I stick out like a sore thumb. I can't even be around other musicians or other computer geeks, I even stand out among those who are in the same job field I am!

 

[Runciter]

For the record, Locke and Wallflower, I like both of you.

But I know the feeling of being disliked. I've tried to leave here several times, but can't figure out how to unregister without contacting a mod, and somehow I don't feel they would grant my request.

I don't feel I fit in anywhere. Every social group possible, I stick out like a sore thumb. I can't even be around other musicians or other computer geeks, I even stand out among those who are in the same job field I am!

Muse, sometimes what you think others think of you isn't always the truth. It might seem like I've been a little abrasive with you at times but rest assured, I wouldn't ever bother to reply to your posts if I disliked you. I can't speak for anyone else but I have nothing against you at all and have only tried to help you for your own sake. So I hope there is no hard feelings between us, I wouldn't like it if I had caused you trouble instead of helping you.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Muse, sometimes what you think others think of you isn't always the truth. It might seem like I've been a little abrasive with you at times but rest assured, I wouldn't ever bother to reply to your posts if I disliked you. I can't speak for anyone else but I have nothing against you at all and have only tried to help you for your own sake. So I hope there is no hard feelings between us, I wouldn't like it if I had caused you trouble instead of helping you.

I don't think that way of you, Runciter. You've only been here a short time, but I do like you and consider you a friend on here.

I don't know. I've always had trouble accepting criticism. When I took a public speaking class in 2010, my professor wrote on my notes, "Learn to accept criticism. You are your own worst enemy." And when I took two different creative writing classes, I got high points for imagination and ideas, and low points for accepting criticism and changing the ideas that people didn't like.

This is something that has been pointed out to me, time and time again, by friends, by family, by professors and teachers, by therapists. And yet, I can't seem to accept criticism. I know it's a shitty excuse, but being bullied early on, I think, led to me feeling I'm being victimized over and over again whenever someone doesn't like something about me...even if they genuinely do like me and want to help?

I'm deviating this thread, but I just wanted to put my two cents in, because I can definitely relate to the thought of not being able to fit in. I feel like I stand out like a sore thumb whenever I go out.

 

[Runciter]

@muse
You're right, we're deviating and should stop but I want to say I'm glad you consider me a friend. I like you and if I think in any way that I can help stop you from playing the role of the victim, I will.

 

[Locke]

Nah! I don't think you complain. To be honest- again I feel like I'm a big nag and seem to annoy everyone. It's most likely I believe that I may suffer from low self esteem and lack of confidence. Glad you decided to reach out, for most people it's hard. I'm glad you've gotten a lot of support and advice on here. Keep letting us know how you're doing.

If you ever need to vent or someone to talk too, send me a pm, I'll be willing to listen. And always happy to helping others. =)

You're probably right - it probably is a self esteem issue. It's just so hard to tell what others are thinking. It is hard for me to reach out on this forum too - I feel ignored sometimes, probably because I post stupid stuff or annoy people or I'm just not liked. I know I've annoyed or offended a couple of people on ALL without meaning to - hopefully they'll forgive me for that someday. I want to unregister my account every day, but I keep going because I don't have anyone else to talk to about this stuff.

Thank you! I will take you up on that, and I'm always ready to listen too.

Yeah trust me, I feel the same way. There's many times I want too get rid of my account here but I never do. I've left so many forums cause I never seem to finish anything cause I guess of fear. Your a good person though and I can tell that by how you talk in your threads. By the way- I'm glad things turned out well for you. And thanks again! =) This was actually a really helpful thread cause I'm sure there's others out there who don't know how to fit into a group or how to act.

I'm exactly the same way, I don't even feel comfortable on a social anxiety forum. But I like you, and I wish you would post more often! You are a good person too. I was embarrassed to make this thread, but now I'm happy I did.I think you're right: Someone well read it one day and get the same advice and perspective that I have.

For the record, Locke and Wallflower, I like both of you.

But I know the feeling of being disliked. I've tried to leave here several times, but can't figure out how to unregister without contacting a mod, and somehow I don't feel they would grant my request.

I don't feel I fit in anywhere. Every social group possible, I stick out like a sore thumb. I can't even be around other musicians or other computer geeks, I even stand out among those who are in the same job field I am!

Thank you Muse. I really appreciate all of your support, and this is the second time that you've said you like me. If it helps, I have a lot of respect for you. I think we have some things in common, and I'd really like to be friends someday. I think you fit in just fine on this forum

But......

I often get the feeling that you don't like me. I know that part of this is my anxiety, but not all of it. In your last thread for example, you ignored my comments when I was only trying to show support. It kind of hurt my feelings, which is why I erased them. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm just confused. Maybe I should have PM'd you about this part, so if you want me to I'll erase this portion of the post.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Locke, I have attention problems, and very frequently miss things. I don't know why I didn't respond to your post; I might have missed it, or forgotten to respond to it? I certainly didn't do it on purpose.

I thought I responded to everyone who responded to me, but if I missed you, I'm sorry.