Never Be Afraid To Tell Someone How You Feel

[ChiCowboy]

...this was advice given to me by a good friend when I was in a bad place, a few weeks ago. It helped me enormously, and I thought I'd share it here.

It's so simple, direct and obvious, but I needed to hear it from someone. I'll never forget those words.

 

[stuff4096]

Thanks for sharing! I am glad that those words helped you when you need it

 

[ChiCowboy]

Thanks for sharing! I am glad that those words helped you when you need it

You're welcome, and thank you.

One of my biggest problems is stubbornness. I'm grateful that this particular friend wasn't having any of it. She got through to me. Needless to say, I opened up to a woman I care about, which not only helped me with the insecurity I was experiencing, but was also beneficial to the relationship. It's amazing how I lose track of simple little things like this. Brutal honesty is always best for me, even though I sometimes think I'll look like a fool.

 

[Marik_757]

I've done that countless times and unfortuantely it makes me look weak.

I too have that issue of being stubborn. Not wanting to tell anyone how I'm really feeling instead of lying. But when I do open up I only tend to get taken advantage of ... I've been hurt so many times by just opening up that I can no longer just express how I truly feel when I'm around others ... FML

 

[ThatOneDude]

I've done that countless times and unfortuantely it makes me look weak.

I too have that issue of being stubborn. Not wanting to tell anyone how I'm really feeling instead of lying. But when I do open up I only tend to get taken advantage of ... I've been hurt so many times by just opening up that I can no longer just express how I truly feel when I'm around others ... FML

Pretty much this.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I wish I could do this with some things. I have no problem speaking up, for myself or for others, but in certain things, it tends to me just looking like a fool. So I'm learning to stop. I'd rather my feelings not be known.

 

[Callie]

I've done that countless times and unfortuantely it makes me look weak.

I too have that issue of being stubborn. Not wanting to tell anyone how I'm really feeling instead of lying. But when I do open up I only tend to get taken advantage of ... I've been hurt so many times by just opening up that I can no longer just express how I truly feel when I'm around others ... FML

It's never weak to be open and honest with people. I find that to be a fantastic quality in people. Same goes with men crying and "feeling."

As far as the other part of what you wrote, it is a major risk to tell people how you feel. But, if you never take risks, you will never gain anything.

 

[Lawrens]

People will just run away if I tell them how I feel.

 

[dead]

People will just run away if I tell them how I feel.

don't be that sure. sometimes, someone, might surprise you.

i know it doesn't happen often. but it is worth it when does.

 

[WishingWell]

That is a good saying, but hard to do.

I always tell people I get along with exactly how I feel. Someone in an above post said, I am brutally honest--with these people and when I was in a relationship with my husband I did that too.

However, my Sister and my Brother and my Sister are difficult to talk to. My Sister NEVER agrees to anything I say, and always has a reason why my "opinion" is wrong! How can an "opinion" be wrong?! My Brother is a hothead and screams over ridiculously small things or things that I don't even understand why he would get that way. There is no way I can be honest with them without some type of altercation, so I keep my mouth shut now, thinking why bother? It is worth more to me not to get into an argument and feel bad than to just think they are wrong.

By the way, I went to psychotherapy for years and years, because I was in a relationship that was abusive in every way. After addressing this, I stayed in therapy to change myself (because I was like my Sister and Brother) and become a person that I could like and not be obtuse!

 

[Dessa]

I'm not afraid to tell people how I feel. I'm afraid of what comes after.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I will always be afraid.

I can't tell my best friend that I've known for 5 years even a quarter of how I feel because he doesn't tolerate my neurotic tendencies.

My mind is a chaotic, dysfunctional place and I'll always keep a part of me away from others because of this.

My mind brings me down, it's torn me down in the past, so it makes sense that it'd tear others down too.

I will never tell a boss how I feel inside. Nor my co-workers, or any casual friends. Maybe they might know bits and pieces, but they'll never know everything.

No, I will not subject others to the full-extent of it and, like wishingwell said, if I feel an argument is pointless and won't get me anywhere, I'll keep my opinion to myself and just listen.

 

[Dessa]

(Soph)

My mind is a chaotic, dysfunctional place and I'll always keep a part of me away from others because of this.

No, I will not subject others to the full-extent of it and, like wishingwell said, if I feel an argument is pointless and won't get me anywhere, I'll keep my opinion to myself and just listen.

I feel this, too, sometimes.

 

[A Desolate Soul]

i have learned that it's far better to just say it, get it off your chest, and move on, than to keep it bottled up, wondering what could have happened.

 

[jjam]

Some people can share with others regardless. I tend to think I'd be wasting my breath and emotional energy trying to share with someone who doesn't convince me they actually give a **** about my feelings. So yes, while I'd love to tell someone how I feel, I don't get the point 99.9% of the time.

There's maybe one person in this world that makes me truly believe that they care about how I feel.

 

[Zeek]

Be careful with the openness....I've learned to be selective of who and what I tell anymore...because generally....people don't really care and telling them (new acquaintances, distant friends, etc) your crap pushes them away further....as if I'm not isolated enough????

 

[SherryGee]

I can be brutally honest whether people like it or not, however I can be stubborn of my true feelings. For example, if I really like someone, I rather kept it to myself just in case I ended up looking like a fool which I can't cope. But my mum made an mistake, she fell in love with this guy and didn't tell him how she felt. Then he died in road accident, she really regret for not telling him how she felt. Now she will never have that chance. For me, I think it is sad for her.

 

[adibi]

I've done that countless times and unfortuantely it makes me look weak.

I too have that issue of being stubborn. Not wanting to tell anyone how I'm really feeling instead of lying. But when I do open up I only tend to get taken advantage of ... I've been hurt so many times by just opening up that I can no longer just express how I truly feel when I'm around others ... FML

Pretty much this.

same here

 

[Tiina63]

Be careful with the openness....I've learned to be selective of who and what I tell anymore...because generally....people don't really care and telling them (new acquaintances, distant friends, etc) your crap pushes them away further....as if I'm not isolated enough????

I agree with this comment. I have often regretted saying how I feel to certain people when it has led to my being told to 'pull yourself together' or 'stop being so sensitive' or 'cross that bridge when you come to it and don't think about it now.'

 

[Blue_Eyed_Symphony]

Agreed.
But no way in hell that I can do it.