PinkDelusion
Active member
Why is it whenever I make a friend, it never lasts long? It happens like this:
-I'm extremely lucky today and I've found someone to talk to.
-We talk for awhile. Soon I began to feel depressed and lose all confidence again when they mention things I don't have or can't do. (EX. They have a lot of friends, they can go out to concerts and parties, they are confident or happy.)
-Afterwards I grow doubtful and afraid because I can't be their friend for whatever reason I come up with. (They have "too many" friends, have a life, makes me feel ashamed to talk to only them when they have many others to talk to.)
-I began to avoid them, soon we never talk again.
-I'm alone again.
It's like when I find someone to befriend I back away as soon as I get to know a little more of them, or I just feel pathetic for talking to them because of their social abilities. Another scenario is when I find someone like me and we argue over something and I never talk to them again. I don't know why I'm discouraged from pursuing friendships over these reasons. Afterwards I feel like i'll never make friends because of it and I decide that an isolated life is my destiny. I feel as if no one can care about me because they have plenty of people to care for or my concern for them isn't important because their other friends' concerns are far more significant.
This horrible habit makes it tremendously hard to attempt at overcoming my social anxiety. and then I overanalyze what just happened after talking to someone. What I did wrong, how awkward I was, how stupid I sounded, and how ugly my appearance was. I keep saying to myself that people think i'm weird after talking to them. That's not good either...
-I'm extremely lucky today and I've found someone to talk to.
-We talk for awhile. Soon I began to feel depressed and lose all confidence again when they mention things I don't have or can't do. (EX. They have a lot of friends, they can go out to concerts and parties, they are confident or happy.)
-Afterwards I grow doubtful and afraid because I can't be their friend for whatever reason I come up with. (They have "too many" friends, have a life, makes me feel ashamed to talk to only them when they have many others to talk to.)
-I began to avoid them, soon we never talk again.
-I'm alone again.
It's like when I find someone to befriend I back away as soon as I get to know a little more of them, or I just feel pathetic for talking to them because of their social abilities. Another scenario is when I find someone like me and we argue over something and I never talk to them again. I don't know why I'm discouraged from pursuing friendships over these reasons. Afterwards I feel like i'll never make friends because of it and I decide that an isolated life is my destiny. I feel as if no one can care about me because they have plenty of people to care for or my concern for them isn't important because their other friends' concerns are far more significant.
This horrible habit makes it tremendously hard to attempt at overcoming my social anxiety. and then I overanalyze what just happened after talking to someone. What I did wrong, how awkward I was, how stupid I sounded, and how ugly my appearance was. I keep saying to myself that people think i'm weird after talking to them. That's not good either...